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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/30055977">Island Circle: Betrayed By Choice (Term 2)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/ishipBullshit1995/pseuds/ishipBullshit1995'>ishipBullshit1995</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>One Direction (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Magic, Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic, Boyfriends, Boys In Love, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/F, Falling In Love, Fluff and Smut, Friendship/Love, Idiots in Love, LGBTQ Character, LGBTQ Themes, M/M, Magic, Multi, Revelations, Smut, mutualrespect, sharingiscaring, shittytagging</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 16:39:34</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>149,420</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/30055977</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/ishipBullshit1995/pseuds/ishipBullshit1995</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>After Harry's betrayal, Louis and the boys try to move on but that is easier said than done when the person you want to avoid doesn't leave you alone. Louis just really wants to forget about Harry and only focus on his friends, his powers and the band but life seems to hate him. At the same time, Zayn does everything in his power to get his feelings for Liam under control. And if that isn't enough already, a new danger is knocking shamelessly at their front door.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, Niall Horan/Original Male Character(s), Zayn Malik/Liam Payne</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>15</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. 11.1 Like A Bad Dream</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Here we go. Time for Term 2. Keep in mind the changes from Term 1 about their appearances and family member's names (like Niall being Spanish and a redhead and Zayn's middle name being Jonah etc.).<br/>Things are getting complicated now ...</p><p>--------</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>With a big smile on his face, Louis was watching his kids. He had spent the entire three weeks with them, teaching them everything he could. Teaching children to play football was a lot of fun and it made him very happy. But today was the last day of the holiday program and that would be a bittersweet farewell. Only about twenty minutes left, then the last training was over.</p><p>At the moment, the kids were practising shots and they were really good. As Louis was standing there and sank into admiration for his kids, he didn't notice how someone approached him.</p><p>“Louis?”. The sound of that much too familiar voice made him flinch. For three full weeks, he had pushed all thoughts of him away and distracted himself as best as he could. And right here and today he would see him again. Luck was as always on his side.</p><p>As uninterested and bored as possible, he turned around to face him. “Hi,” he said simply and turned back to the kids.</p><p>“What are you doing here?” asked Harry in surprise.</p><p>“What does it look like? I'm working” replied Louis monotonously, but already realized how much he would like to disappear.</p><p>“Oh, you work here?” wondered Harry tensely.</p><p>“No shit, Sherlock” snorted Louis but didn't look at Harry.</p><p>“I didn't know you were working here, otherwise I wouldn't have come in. Honestly” ignored Harry the comment.</p><p>“Honestly” mocked Louis him silently, but Harry heard it.</p><p>“I'm just here to pick up Jim's sister, but believe whatever you want” snorted Harry annoyed.</p><p>Louis simply ignored Harry. He didn't want to talk to him, especially not as if nothing had ever happened. Did he really think they would just leave it all behind and welcome him with open arms just to get ripped off again? Nice try.</p><p>Annoyed by Harry, Louis ran to the pitch and called the kids together. “Well, we still have about fifteen minutes, so I say we're going to play a free game now. Alec and Ruth, you pick the teams” announced Louis and immediately the kids put his orders to work.</p><p>Louis loved children. He loved working with them, making them happy, playing with them, listening to their stories about their adventures. Just everything. In the future, he also wanted to have children. That was his biggest wish. Even if he moved away from this wish with each passing day, month and year alone. Maybe he just wasn't loveable enough.</p><p>“Can you play in our team, Louis?” asked Ruth, tugging lightly on the corner of Louis' shirt.</p><p>“Sure, Sweetheart” gave Louis her an open smile and let himself get dragged along with her by hand.</p><p>They started the game and Louis pretended to make an effort while actually trying to hold himself back. It was about the children and not about him. He was still able to play football and exhaust himself later. One of the guys from his team played the ball to Louis, close to the goal. With ease, he scored a goal. With cheers and beaming faces, the kids ran happily towards him. All at once. Louis landed on the floor with the children on top of him.</p><p>“Has that suddenly turned into wrestling?” called a voice he knew too well.</p><p>“Just because you're jealous, you don't have to let that out on us, Sam” countered Louis cheekily. Slowly, the kids crawled off him and Louis could breathe properly again.</p><p>“Do you need a helping hand?” smirked Sam down at him. Louis took his hand and let Sam pull him up until he stood on two legs again.</p><p>“May Sam play along, Louis? Please” the kids begged him with big sparkling eyes.</p><p>“They want me”.</p><p>“Don't fool yourself” nudged Louis Sam's shoulder.</p><p>They continued the game, but now with Sam in the opposite team. While the kids were still playing fairly, Sam and Louis had a playful battle. Whenever one of them had the ball, the other one knocked him over or fouled him or tickled him to death. The kids thought it was funny and forgot to play every so often. But hey, it was the last day and it was just for fun anyway.</p><p>As Sam knocked Louis down once more and he lay on top of him, Louis' eyes fell on Harry, who was still standing there watching the whole thing. Louis had completely forgotten that he was there waiting for the end to finally be able to leave. Sam seemed to notice that.</p><p>“By the way, who is that?” he asked, pointing with his head to Harry while he was still lying on Louis.</p><p>“No one important. He's here to pick up Ruth instead of Jim” replied Louis shortly.</p><p>“So, you know him?” hooked Sam curiously and Louis didn't like that.</p><p>“At least that's what I thought” murmured Louis, throwing Sam off to get up.</p><p>“I thought so, as he looks over all the time,” said Sam nonchalantly and Louis abruptly stopped.</p><p>“What?”.</p><p>“Did you not notice that? He doesn't take his eyes off you for a second, especially not since I'm here” told Sam him.</p><p>“You have to imagine that. If anything he observes Ruth, although even this would require an interest in people” denied Louis everything.</p><p>“Doesn't sound like you're good friends” noted Sam attentively.</p><p>“Far from it” mumbled Louis but couldn't turn his gaze away from Harry.</p><p>“Anyway, he looks at you all the time and I think he'd like to kill me, judging by the look” shrugged Sam and went back to his team.</p><p>Louis stood stunned and looked at Harry. Their eyes met and immediately Louis looked away, turned around and also went to his team. He didn't want to think about it. Sam had to imagine that. Harry would never watch him all the time. And Louis didn't want that either. Yes, he had had a crush on Harry, but that's over. The remains of his ridiculous crush, which had vanished at the moment Harry had betrayed them all, had Louis buried deep within. So deep that no spark of light would ever touch it again. He was done with it.</p><p>That didn't mean that Harry's piercing gaze didn't make him uncomfortable. He felt watched, judged.</p><p>They played the last minutes and Louis managed to fade Harry out and have fun. Little by little the parents came in and Louis closed the training. Everyone came together again for a big and solid group hug and then the children were allowed to change clothes. While the parents went in after thanking Louis and showering him with praise, Louis put back the goals with Sam. Then Sam said goodbye and went his own way.</p><p>Louis was awfully warm. In such moments, he missed the time when he could just dump water over his head to cool off. He decided to take off his shirt and then he ran his hands through his hair to get his sweaty hair off his forehead. The training sweat beaded his face and glittered on his chest. Due to the extra training with the kids and daily swimming, Louis had built up a good deal of muscles, which he now tensed shirtless as he stretched. The sun was feeling good on the bare skin, but it was still too hot.</p><p>He was about to leave the field to get his water bottle when he saw how Harry was obviously staring at him. He hadn't gone in like the other parents or friends with the children. No, he had stayed outside and decided to get bored. Even more than before. Louis simply tried to ignore this fact and not get nervous under his gaze, because Harry judged everyone and he knew what Harry was capable of. He didn't need to see that again in his wonderful eyes.</p><p>
  <em>You little worthless piece of shit.</em>
</p><p>Somewhat uncertain, he walked over to the bench in front of the dressing rooms, put his shirt on it and took his bottle. He brought it to his mouth and drank it slowly. The cool water was doing his sweaty and hot body really good, so Louis closed his eyes. Who would have thought that just normal water would almost make him moan?!. God, Louis was exhausted due to training.</p><p>The first parents came out again and said goodbye to Louis. A girl who was clearly the sister of one of his little girls, Cat, stopped in front of him and gave him a friendly smile. Louis pretended that he didn't notice how she openly checked him out.</p><p>“Thanks for everything. Cat always raved about the training and you. Would be nice if we see each other again” she said expectantly.</p><p>“I would be very happy to see Cat again. Maybe she can join the main team” suggested Louis, completely ignoring the flirting. The disappointment was written on her face, but what should Louis do? He was gay. It didn't help that he could say how pretty she was.</p><p>“Do you also train this team?” she asked flirtily.</p><p>“From next week on, yeah,” he told her. Due to the holiday training program that he had volunteered for, he had been offered to train the girls' team. In addition to the boys' team, of course.</p><p>“We'll remember that” she grinned before leaving with Cat.</p><p>Louis seriously considered tattooing the word gay on his forehead. That way he could avoid such situations and wouldn't disappoint or hurt anyone.</p><p>“And that was a perfect example of how <em>not</em> to do it. She totally checked you out and you screwed it up” shook Harry his head, laughing slightly.</p><p>“Oh, I'm sorry, King Harry, master of the hook-ups, that I'm not a bitch, but consider the feelings of people” snorted Louis sarcastically and very annoyed.</p><p>“Hook-ups are without feelings, smart ass” corrected Harry him unimpressed.</p><p>“You would know” rolled Louis his eyes and took another sip from his bottle.</p><p>“What is your problem with me?” asked Harry angrily.</p><p>“Do you really not know?” laughed Louis half-heartedly.</p><p>“Look, I'm really sorry for what I've said and how it all went down, but you can't be still mad at me,” said Harry blankly.</p><p>“Oh no?” raised Louis an eyebrow.</p><p>“No, that's silly” asserted Harry.</p><p>“Silly? I'll tell you what's silly. It's silly to think everything would be good between us and we would just forget it and pretend that nothing has ever happened. As if you hadn't fooled us all, used and deceived us. So, I am sorry that we don't just snap our fingers and everything is forgotten. We aren't mad, Harry. We're disappointed. That's a difference” clarified Louis once and for all.</p><p>“Don't behave like you're my mother, Louis. Put your disappointment somewhere else. It happened. I said it with full awareness and knowledge of my words. Can we finish it now? Forgive and forget” said Harry visibly bored.</p><p>“Just unbelievable. You will never understand it. If it was all so harmless and so insignificant why are you even trying to put up with us? What do you really want?” questioned Louis Harry's motives.</p><p>“You always think the worst of me” huffed Harry almost offended</p><p>“I wonder why” sassed Louis back.</p><p>“Well, as you want. Then be stubborn. This toddler behaviour will not get you anywhere. I just wanted to make sure that ... “</p><p>“Let me guess. Make sure I shut up and don't blurt out this little incident from the full moon night? Are you worried someone might call you gay, Harold?” cut Louis him off and approached him.</p><p>“As if someone would believe you” spat Harry dimly.</p><p>“I wouldn't be so sure if I were you. There are enough people at school who are not completely fogged by you. In addition, rumours about the cool guys always spread around very fast. What do you think how long it would take until the whole school knows about it?” countered Louis, trying to appear as condescending as possible.</p><p>“You wouldn't do that. You're way too disgustingly kind-hearted for that” countered Harry weakly.</p><p>“Sure about that? People change. Incidents change people. Being nice doesn't help you in life. That's what I learned from you” pointed Louis to him and came even closer.</p><p>“You're just bluffing. Nobody changes so radically because of a few words” replied Harry shaky.</p><p>“A few words? Believe me, drastic experiences can destroy people and you will never see their true self again. Everything can break you. Even only a few words. You never know what someone has already experienced and what this little word could trigger” told Louis him, noticing that his voice was becoming more definite and that he sounded more vulnerable. <em>Great, Louis, so much about being strong.</em></p><p>“I haven't thought about ... I ... can you maybe put your shirt back on? Would be helpful” stammered Harry breathless as he realized how close Louis, still shirtless, stood in front of him.</p><p>“Why? Is that distracting you?” smirked Louis and came one step closer.</p><p>“Pfft, no, certainly not. Little children are running around here. Shouldn't you be a good role model instead of running around half-naked?” cleared Harry his throat and tried to find an excuse that was believable.</p><p>“And since when do you care about what's right?” Louis wanted to know.</p><p>“Since I'm picking up one of these kids” answered Harry weirdly.</p><p>“Wow, that sounds very believable” laughed Louis and walked away from Harry again. A little bit.</p><p>“Just shut up and don't ruin my reputation in school. I can do that alone. That would only hurt you. I don’t want that” returned Harry to the original topic.</p><p>Now Louis turned back to him. “Since when do you care how it affects me? Have you even for a second thought about how I am with this shit? How I feel about the unfortunately completely existing memories of this crappy full moon night? How damn hurtful your oh-so-insignificant words have been? Did you think about it instead of just worrying that I or the other three could tell everyone about it, ruining your perfect little life? Not everyone is like you and uses every little chance or every weak moment to put someone down even more” snapped Louis disappointedly and realized how his voice began to shake. He had really believed that he had processed all of this over the three weeks and left it behind. But seeing Harry and hearing him say those words and realizing how little he regretted it, hurt a lot.</p><p>“Louis, I'm sorry. I did not ... I didn't mean to ..” was Harry struggling for words.</p><p>“Save it, Harry. I'm done with that, done with you. Actually, good to hear today how little you care about it. Saves us the drama at school. You don't know remorse, that's what I've understood now. Maybe it's really stupid of me to tell you that, but two of us really thought there was just a touch of something good inside of you. They were sure to have seen it, but then you dropped them. Whatever they saw it doesn't exist anymore” told Louis him sadly, packing his things together.</p><p>“For a brief moment, even I thought you might be different than everyone else, unlike Sean or Ethan. But apparently, I had a weak moment. Thankfully, Sean quickly enlightened me, otherwise, I would have gone through with my plan and really entrusted you my biggest weakness. I suppose I should thank him; don't you think? Could have been embarrassing for me” tried Louis to joke, but the pain was written on his face.</p><p>“Sean and I are no longer friends, so I don't know if you should do that. No idea” let Harry him know neutrally.</p><p>“What?” asked Louis in surprise.</p><p>“We're not friends anymore. Probably never were. After I avoided him during the holidays and later told him that I miss you, he has given me the choice and I've decided against him” reported Harry to him shortly.</p><p>Louis didn't know what to say. That came unexpectedly, but could he believe that? “I'm sorry for you if it's true, but that doesn't change anything”.</p><p>“How many times should I say I'm sorry?” asked Harry him horrified.</p><p>“Until you are serious. If I remember correctly you've just said how little you really feel sorry. You can say a lot, but it doesn't mean anything until you mean it. You've been lying a lot, Harry. Why should I believe you now?” Louis wanted to know desperately.</p><p>“Because I'm telling the truth. Come on, Dickhead. Just forgive me and then everything's fine” snorted Harry annoyed.</p><p>“And that's exactly why I can't. You will never understand that. Maybe you shouldn't have decided against Sean. After all, he is just as unfeeling and heartless as you are. That fit quite well” turned Louis away from him.</p><p>“Unbelievable that I had a crush on you” he mumbled to himself as he took his remaining things and wanted to leave.</p><p>“What?!” exclaimed Harry in shock.</p><p>Oh shit, did he really hear that? <em>Well done, Louis!</em> He really had to learn how to shut up.</p><p>Haltingly, he turned around again, putting his shirt back on. “I don't know what you mean. I didn't say anything else”.</p><p>“You have a crush on me?” croaked Harry out startled with shock and horror written on his face. And yep, he had heard it. <em>Brilliant.</em></p><p>“Had, if so. And I'm not sure if you could call it that. More like a kind of emotional aberration in the moments when I thought you weren't a complete asshole, but as we know now that's not the case so I can only say: Nope, no crush. Just pure imagination” corrected Louis him, noticing that it was the truth. Every word was correct.</p><p>“And now I finally want to go home and take a shower. But most of all, I don't want to see your face anymore, which has caused me enough trouble” added Louis wearily.</p><p>Before Harry could answer, Louis heard a familiar voice behind him. “Coach Louis”.</p><p>“Hey, what's up, Ruth?” he asked in a soft voice, leaning down to her.</p><p>“Where is Jim? I can't find him” looked Ruth around in search of her brother.</p><p>“He's not here, but Harry will take you home” he explained to her gently.</p><p>She looked up at Harry intently and almost intimidated and swallowed hard. Louis frowned when he saw this reaction.</p><p>“Come on, Ruth. Your parents are waiting. It took you quite a long time” Harry now turned to her. She shook her head and hid behind Louis' legs.</p><p>“It doesn't look like she wants to come with you” stated Louis sceptically.</p><p>“That's her problem. She has to, that's why I'm here. She'll have to live with it” shrugged Harry coolly.</p><p>“Why did Jim even ask you? I didn't know you were friends” furrowed Louis his eyebrows together.</p><p>“We're not really, but our families are. Actually, that's none of your business at all. She's coming with me now. I'm not a stranger to her” huffed Harry recklessly, taking Ruth by the hand.</p><p>“Careful! Don't hurt her” exclaimed Louis as Harry dragged Ruth towards him.</p><p>“I'll take care, Mum” mocked Harry him. Louis just shook his head in disbelief, picking up his things and walked past Harry.</p><p>“Bye, Coach Louis,” said Ruth goodbye.</p><p>He stopped one last time and knelt down to her. “Goodbye, little Ruth. I'm sure we'll see each other again, Sweetheart” he said goodbye too and hugged her. He noticed how Harry watched the pair but paid no attention to it.</p><p>“Come on” ordered Harry as the two let go.</p><p>“Yeah, definitely emotional aberration” shook Louis his head as he passed Harry.</p><p>“Louis, I'm not ..”.</p><p>“Forget it, Harry. I'm over it. Wasn't that hard” waved Louis him off and finally headed home.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>---&gt;</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Dreamily, Zayn looked out to the sea, lost in thoughts. He didn't notice someone creeping up from behind. Suddenly someone put two hands over his eyes. “Who am I?”.</p><p>Zayn tried to suppress his grin. “Mh, let me think, maybe Niall?” fake thought Zayn simply to annoy him.</p><p>“Do you not recognize me after three weeks?” he asked disappointed and took his hands from Zayn's eyes.</p><p>“Of course, Li. I recognize you everywhere. I was just kidding” laughed Zayn and finally got to see Liam. Three weeks without Liam were just too long.</p><p>As Liam sat down next to him, Zayn happily fell into his arms. Immediately, Liam returned the hug and hugged Zayn tightly. “I missed you” whispered Zayn against Liam's neck.</p><p>“I missed you, too. Very much” purred Liam, his breath giving Zayn Goosebumps. He inhaled Liam's fragrance as if his life depended on it. Yes, three weeks have definitely been too long.</p><p>Slowly, Liam broke away from the embrace and looked at Zayn. His eyes sparkled in the slowly rising moonlight and Zayn had to muster all his ever-present willpower to not kiss Liam directly on the spot. He had hoped the three weeks without him would help his crush to disappear so that everything could return to normal. But exactly the opposite happened. With each passing day without Liam, Zayn had realized how badly he could live without him. In the simplest little things, his presence was missing. He was incomplete without Liam. Just stupid that this wasn't based on reciprocity.</p><p>“What are you thinking about?” asked Liam, pulling Zayn out of his thoughts. He quickly needed a good excuse, otherwise, he would be fucked.</p><p>“I was just thinking that school starts tomorrow and that we'll see him again” replied Zayn, relieved that something had occurred to him so quickly.</p><p>It wasn't really a lie either. Zayn had thought a lot about Harry and everything that had happened. He was afraid of what school would be like now. He would like to forget the first term and start over. Without Harry.</p><p>“I thought about it a lot too. It can't be much worse, so I think we should try to make the best out of it and just ignore any comments” suggested Liam thoughtfully.</p><p>“That will be the best. Could you distract yourself from it?” Zayn wanted to know worriedly.</p><p>He remembered their conversation in the cinema too well. Zayn had never experienced Liam so downcast and if he still believed Harry's words, Zayn would make Harry pay for that.</p><p>“Somehow, but it's not so easy to forget that. It wasn't just anyone who said it, but someone who spent a lot of time with us. So he knows us pretty well, and when he says that, you start thinking. Whether you like it or not” confessed Liam, facing the sea.</p><p>“Liam” sighed Zayn and put his hand on Liam's shoulder.</p><p>“I know, Zayn. You don't have to say anything. Every time I had doubts, or I had to think about it again, I immediately thought of your words and then I felt better” he assured him, which made Zayn smile.</p><p>“For real?”. Now Liam turned back to Zayn and looked him straight in the eye.</p><p>“Yeah, for real. Those were the nicest words anyone has ever said to me and do you know why?”. Zayn shook his head unknowingly but didn't break eye contact.</p><p>“Because they came from you. Every word was filled with one hundred per cent honesty. That you think this about me and you're always there for me means a lot to me, Z. My life would be incomplete without you” let Liam him know. Every single word made Zayn's heart beat faster.</p><p>“And my life would be meaningless without you, Li” confessed Zayn, hugging Liam again. The two wanted to never let go again.</p><p>“We should go home slowly. It's getting late” said Liam softly and they both broke the hug and headed home.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>---&gt;</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>On Monday morning, Niall Liam Louis and Zayn met in front of the English classroom. The first day of school, second term. Nervous didn't fit quite well. Yesterday, the boys had received a message from Louis, in which he had reported on his meeting with Harry. It hadn't really made their nervousness better.</p><p>But when the four entered the room they were overwhelmed by confusion. Instead of sitting with Sean and countless girls in the back of the classroom, as usual, Harry was sitting in the corner by the window. Way too close to them for their liking. Slightly hesitant, they sat down in their seats and tried, as the teacher came in, to focus on the lessons. But that was easier said than done. The fact that Harry was so close to them and Sean glared over at them the whole time made the situation not easier. Added to that was Harry's almost sad look.</p><p>No, they stayed strong. He couldn't elicit a bad conscience or pity from them. After all, they hadn't done anything wrong. That was his fault alone. His fault. But why did they all feel so bad seeing how alone and lonely Harry was sitting there? Probably because the sad truth was that they knew the feeling just too well.</p><p>Luckily the lesson didn't last forever. Quickly, they disappeared from the room and split up to go to their different courses. Zayn was looking forward to losing his thoughts in his art while Niall was already eagerly awaiting to build down his frustration on the golf balls. Liam sank into his tech things while Louis sank into self-pity, having drama now with Harry. How much he would like to have one course without him.</p><p>As always, he sat down next to Violetta in the second row, out of three. But stupidly, next to him was still an empty seat. He prayed that Harry would not sit there. For the first time in an eternity, his prayers were answered. Harry sat down in the first row, despite the many empty seats in the last row, on the other side of the room.</p><p>There were three rows in a kind of U-shape so that the teacher could see everyone and because drama liked to contradict the norms. So Louis could perfectly see Harry from his seat if he wanted. What he didn't.</p><p>You'd think Louis would be glad Harry was dead silent for the whole lesson. That wasn't the case. Harry didn't say a word. No stupid saying, no condescending comment. Just silence. When Louis tried with Violetta the today learned strategy in front of the class, no sharp side comment was heard. Nothing. Who would have thought that Harry's silence could unsettle one more than his insults?</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>For lunch, the four met at their table as usual.</p><p>“Hey, how was golf?” asked Liam Niall as he sat down.</p><p>“Deliberating” grinned Niall, pouncing into his food. Giggling, Zayn Liam and Louis shook their heads.</p><p>“Zayn, you still have colour on your face. How does that always happen? Do you put yourself in the paint?” questioned Louis, wiping the colour of Zayn's cheek with a napkin.</p><p>“How funny” snorted Zayn, rolling his eyes.</p><p>“Hey, there's something left over by the dustbins, loser” they heard Sean saying hatefully.</p><p>Even if Sean kind of bullied everyone who crossed his way, they just knew out of a feeling who he was talking to. They didn't even need to turn around. After a few seconds, Harry passed their table with his head down and took a seat at an empty table, alone. A very not welcomed feeling grew in their stomachs.</p><p>“Apparently, Harry was serious about what he said to you” pointed Liam out quietly, his eyes still fixed on Harry.</p><p>“Or that's his new plan. Pretending that he learned something and letting himself get insulted by Sean, so we're dumb enough to let him get back to us” noted Zayn sceptically.</p><p>“Zayn, you don't know that,” said Liam sternly.</p><p>“But I still remember exactly how three weeks ago he just exposed each of us here and told things that nobody knew. Because of him you have doubted yourself, have you forgotten?” reminded Zayn him.</p><p>“What if he realized how wrong that was over the holidays?” thought Niall out loud.</p><p>“I was hoping for that, but yesterday I realized that wasn't the case. He just wanted me to forgive him and admitted that he doesn't understand why we're still disappointed” Louis had to disappoint him.</p><p>“Maybe he just didn't want to admit it, show no weakness because it's all new to him” mused Liam.</p><p>“You two are just incredible. How can you think about pitying him for just a second?! He's still Harry. He had his chance, even if he didn't deserve it. How could you believe him one word?” asked Zayn in horror.</p><p>“I'm with Zayn. Harry was just fooling and playing with us all the time, not even thinking about it for a second, not caring for other people's feelings and having only his own benefit in his mind. It was all fun for him, he admitted that. Why are we even talking about it? If he decides to sit alone then he should do it. There are more people than Sean at this school. Many girls are definitely happy now. He sits on his own, so they can have him all to themselves. Just look over there” sided Louis with Zayn and nodded to Harry, who was surrounded by several girls, who were checking him out openly and couldn't look more eager.</p><p>“Well, the lonely boy is not so lonely anymore. Topic finished” huffed Zayn and finally started to eat. Liam and Niall looked at each other helplessly. The situation was very strange.<br/><br/></p><p> </p><p> </p><p>When they arrived in the music room, Liam sat next to Nikki as usual. Zayn next to Liam, Louis next to Zayn and Niall next to Louis. By the time Harry entered the room, almost all the seats were taken. The only free seat was either next to Sean or next to Niall. Slowly, Harry approached Niall and tried to get his attention.</p><p>“May I?” he asked carefully. Niall looked up at him and nodded slightly.</p><p>“Loser” coughed Sean quite inconspicuously as Harry sat down.</p><p>For the fact that the two have been best friends, Sean behaved really terrible. Niall just didn't understand how that could easily change from one day to the next. Even if the two were terrible humans, it always seemed to Niall that Harry and Sean had really been friends. Well, that's how you can be wrong. He didn't want to know how Harry felt with this realization.</p><p>Throughout the lesson, Niall heard Sean and Ethan constantly saying nasty things about Harry and laughing at him. Harry might not be his friend, but any kind of bullying made him incredibly angry. Especially if victims and perpetrators have been best friends before. Such a betrayal hurt. The thought that this was karma crept silently into Niall's subconscious. Harry had completely destroyed their confidence and hurt them deeply. And now Sean had just dropped him and he will probably blurt out so much knowledge about him. The universe was even with Harry. Wasn't that punishment enough? Should they ignore him then?</p><p>On the other hand, Niall had to admit that he still hadn't processed Harry's words. At that moment, for example, he heard them back in his head. Half of the holidays, Zayn had spent with bringing Niall back to normal eating and making sure at every opportunity to tell him that they took him seriously and that he was not an appendage. Louis and Zayn had then also really inaugurated him in the Harry and the full moon mystery, which totally shocked Niall. Then he was overcome by sympathy for Louis. That just had to happen to him. The topic was already difficult enough without the effect of the moon. Yes, Niall was torn.</p><p>“Now at the end of the lesson, I have to tell you something sad” started Mrs. Stewart and Niall finally started to listen.</p><p>“I've got an offer at a music school in Sydney that I can't refuse, which unfortunately means that I'm leaving this school by the end of this week,” she told the class.</p><p>“We are happy for you”.</p><p>“Even if we'll miss you”.</p><p>“Thanks, that's nice of you. The other teachers are giving a farewell party on Friday night in the auditorium for all my students and me. So I would be happy to see you all there” she announced with hope in her eyes.</p><p>“We'll all be there” assured Sean her with a vicious sparkle in his eyes.</p><p>While the others clarified the further details, Liam turned to his friends. “Did she say Friday?”.</p><p>“That's really bad timing” sighed Louis out desperately.</p><p>“Luck is on our side as always” snorted Zayn in disbelief.</p><p>“And if I could voice a wish, the other teachers asked me if I knew someone I could ask if they would perform at the party, so of course I immediately thought of my Bailey” continued Mrs. Stewart and Bailey immediately agreed. “And of course, you guys” she added, looking at Liam, Niall, Harry, Zayn and Louis.</p><p>“Us?” squeaked Niall in horror, pointing at all five of them.</p><p>“Yes, you. It's your credit that I got this offer. Would you do that for me? One last time?” she asked and how could one say no.</p><p>“Of course, we will” assured Liam her and she immediately started beaming. Sometimes Niall forgot how young she still was.</p><p>“Well, that could be funny. Five failures in concert” taunted Sean them and made his friends laugh.</p><p>“Why were we ever friends with Harry? He's just as weird as that!” laughed Aidan nastily.</p><p>“At some point, his true nature had to come out. He couldn't hide his filthiness forever” added Ethan.</p><p>Niall was fed up. “Do you even breathe? Just leave him alone” grunted Niall as he turned around to face them.</p><p>“Since when do you have something to say, dumb ass?” shot Sean back.</p><p>Shaking his head, Niall sat back down normally and was punished with a glare from Zayn. “What?”.</p><p>“He for sure can defend himself. He's been practising insults” hissed Zayn.</p><p>“Guys, shut up. What are we supposed to do now? How on earth shall we play on Friday?” interrupted Louis his friends helplessly.</p><p>“I don't know, but there has to be a way without it going wrong” mused Liam cluelessly.</p><p>“Did I miss anything? What's on Friday?” was Harry confused.</p><p>“Oh, just the next full moon, smarty” rolled Zayn his annoyed.</p><p>“How should I know that?” returned Harry defensively.</p><p>“Maybe try and use your brain for once and think”.</p><p>“Zayn, it's enough” admonished Liam him and Zayn fell back, his arms crossed, pouting on his chair.</p><p>“We could ask Bailey if she wants to perform after us. The party starts before the moon rises. It's still in school, after all,” suggested Louis logically.</p><p>“That might work. It's best you talk to her after class” was Liam in it. Louis nodded in agreement.</p><p>And that was the end of the lesson. Louis went with Zayn directly over to Bailey and tried to convince her of his suggestion. At the same time, Liam and Niall left the classroom, but not without a low-key ‘<em>thank you’ </em>from Harry in Niall's direction. Liam seemed to have heard that too because he looked at Niall with that look that clearly screamed <em>'we have to talk to him alone'</em>.</p><p>When Sean and Ethan, but also Zayn and Louis were out of sight, Liam and Niall dragged Harry into a corner. “We have to talk” came Liam straight to the point.</p><p>“I thought so” replied Harry and then waited for someone to say something.</p><p>“As you can guess, we're not thrilled with how it all ended, but we can't change that anymore. Of course, we have to rehearse for the gig and probably add more songs because one isn't enough, which means we have to spend time with you and you probably know that we don't like this very much, but we'll have to do it for her” summed Niall up.</p><p>“No idea what's going to happen with Zayn and Louis, but we'll probably have to rehearse every free minute this week, so please no drama. We both will try to deal with you normally because for my part, I think Sean's behaviour is punishment enough. I can't speak for the others” let Liam him know.</p><p>“They're still pissed for a reason. It will not be an easy week” added Niall.</p><p>“Don't you want to say anything, Harry?” asked Liam him as he still didn't say anything.</p><p>“I don't know what I could say” reciprocated Harry bored.</p><p>“Maybe how you see this whole thing?” suggested Niall annoyed.</p><p>“I didn't think that would interest anyone” admitted Harry.</p><p>“It shouldn't …”</p><p>“Does that mean you care, Niall?” checked Harry in a strange voice.</p><p>“I did not say that”.</p><p>“You don't make it very easy for us to understand your behaviour, Harry. So don't expect too much from us” came Liam to the rescue.</p><p>“I don't expect anything from you” claimed Harry downcast.</p><p>“That sounded different yesterday. Don't try to fool us” warned Niall him snippy.</p><p>“Louis told you about it?” was Harry now horrified.</p><p>“We tell each other everything, especially something that important” clarified Niall. Slowly, he was losing his patience.</p><p>“I didn't mean it like that ... I ... doesn't matter ..” waved Harry it off.</p><p>“If this is going to work this week, take this chance and explain everything to us both, if there is something to explain. We give you at least the chance and would listen. Zayn would rather die than listen to you. He just doesn't trust you anymore. He never did, to begin with. So, do you have anything to say?” urged Liam him.</p><p>Niall saw Harry thinking for a second and holding back. He wasn't sure if he wanted to hear what Harry had to say. As far as he knew, all this could only happen again to be a trick and they would once again be ridiculed by giving him a chance.</p><p>“First of all, I want to tell you how sorry I am for what I said. You didn't deserve that. The worst thing is that at the time I meant everything seriously and knew exactly what I was doing. I didn't do that because Sean wanted it or to prove that I was still me. I just did it out of sheer joy and fun. This is cruel and I understood that much too late”.</p><p>“During the holidays I tried to lead my life as normal. My father's meetings, parties, lots of alcohol and lots of sex. Especially the last one. I thought that would make me come back. But that didn't happen. Something in me has changed. Something I didn't know existed. Until now. Nothing satisfied me. I had to think about that day and your faces all the time. In disappointment. Something in me has missed you every day and that still sounds totally crazy to me, I'm not gonna lie to you on this one. I don't understand it and not where it comes from. I don't know what's so special about you that it somehow changed me slightly, but there was something there. The whole time. I've tried to suppress it, to talk myself out of it, but that doesn't work anymore. I'm not like you, but that doesn't mean we have to hate each other. I was cruel to you out of sheer joy and I understand why that is incomprehensible to many people. I'm still learning. Whatever I learn. Sean noticed that and made me choose and although my first reaction was of course to decide for him because that would be logical, I chose you for some reason. And I'm paying the price every day now. Sean hates me and will do everything to expose me, but presumably, you think I deserve it” let Harry them in on his view of things.</p><p>“Well, are you surprised we could think that?” asked Niall, overwhelmed by Harry's words.</p><p>“No, not really” confessed Harry honestly.</p><p>“I think it's bad what Sean is doing. Nobody deserves that. Thank you for telling us your side. I appreciate that. I can definitely work with that. I hope for you you're telling the truth because I forgive you, Harry” told Liam him and Niall looked at him in surprise. That was so typical of Liam to forgive someone that quickly.</p><p>“Really? Oh thanks, Liam” was Harry amazed.</p><p>“But that doesn't mean it will be easy for you. It's a long way to go back to the way it was before” noted Liam matter-of-factly.</p><p>“If that ever happens” objected Niall. Liam and Harry both looked at him in confusion.</p><p>“Don't look at me like that. It may be that I even believe your story. It’s so desperate that it can only be true. Maybe I'll forgive you even, but that doesn't mean that I'll trust you again immediately. You have to earn the trust back and you have pretty much destroyed mine. On top of that, Zayn never liked you anyway. Now, this is almost impossible to change, especially if you aren't really honest. And Louis ... No idea what else to say. It's going to be difficult. So, I hope for you that you really want that and don't expect that everything is going to be all right now” let Niall him know determined.</p><p>“Wow, that was honest” marvelled Harry small.</p><p>“That's the only way to make friends last forever” shrugged Niall indifferent.</p><p>Before anyone could say anything more, Louis and Zayn finally found the trio. “There you are. Bailey agreed” informed Louis them, completely ignoring Harry's presence.</p><p>“That's great. Then we can go straight to practice” clapped Liam into his hands.</p><p>Reluctantly, they went to Louis' for rehearsals. That could be something.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. 11.2 Songwriting</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Original Songs ahead of you, so please, bear with me :D</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>The five of them were sitting in Louis' living room and thought about how they should plan the performance for Mrs. Stewart. They already had one song, but according to Bailey, they needed about six or seven because that was going to be a real concert. A farewell with special effect.</p><p>“Well, first of all, I'll say that we sing <em>'Rock Me’,</em> of course. One of you didn't write a song during the holidays?” threw Liam the question into the room.</p><p>“Don't underestimate our lyrical genius here. He didn't write one song but several new ones and finished older ones” bragged Niall about Louis' new songs.</p><p>“Niall, don't exaggerate this way” pleaded Louis embarrassed.</p><p>“But Jonno, your songs are great and everyone should know that already. No one can handle words as well as you do” wailed Niall.</p><p>“Maybe on paper” murmured Louis softly. Harry looked kinda sad at Louis hearing these words.</p><p>“Can you show us the songs, Louis?” begged Liam pleadingly.</p><p>After a brief battle with himself, Louis gave in and took out his lyrics. “I finished <em>'Small Moments</em>' but I'm not sure about the title yet. In addition me and Niall have ..”.</p><p>“Niall and me” corrected Harry Louis’ grammar.</p><p>“<em>Me and Niall </em>wrote on a song together while you were away” repeated Louis with particular emphasis on <em>Me and Niall. </em>He handed Liam the lyrics and waited anxiously for what he had to say.</p><p>“<em>Way Back Home</em>? How did you come up with that?” asked Liam as he continued to read the text.</p><p>“Well, there was such a moment when we both were lying on Louis' bed and had some ice cream and we just talked about how difficult it is not to forget your roots nowadays. You were away in Sydney, I wasn't in Spain in forever, Louis moved in no time five times and none of us was born here, but it is still somehow home because our family is here. No idea. That then gave us the idea for the first lines and so the whole song was created” reported Niall on their writing process.</p><p>“That was so romantic, Niall” sighed Louis dramatically, placing a hand over his heart.</p><p>“Not as romantic as our unbelievably unhealthy Candlelight Dinner afterwards,” said Niall, forming a kiss.</p><p>“Oh no, I'm sorry. How could I forget that?” gasped Louis and threw Niall a kiss in the air.</p><p>“One time. I have to work longer for one day and you already cheated on me, Louis? I'm terribly disappointed” pouted Zayn.</p><p>“Some things never change. Why can't you two argue about another man’s love?” shook Liam his head grinningly.</p><p>“No one is better than Jonno” claimed Niall proudly.</p><p>“Niall, forget it. Louis and I are practically married and our plans for the desert island are also ready. So, sorry” had Zayn to fakely disappoint Niall.</p><p>“Desert island? Did I miss something?” tilted Niall his head aside puzzled.</p><p>“Zayn and I decided to just marry fraternally and leave our problems here behind by moving to a lonely island” enlightened Louis his Spanish friend.</p><p>“You just want to leave me?” made Niall big eyes at them, almost faking tears.</p><p>“I'm sorry, Nialler” held Louis his hands up defensively.</p><p>“I understand, you just don't want me” fake cried Niall.</p><p>“It's nothing personal, but the plan is already settled for a while” continued Zayn jokingly.</p><p>“A while then? What can be so bad that you just want to leave me?” Niall wanted to know and regretted that question the second he had spoken it out loud. You could really misinterpret that question and the words could hurt somebody.</p><p>“How about if we focus on the song again and you can beat each other over Louis later?” changed Liam the subject and Louis couldn't shake away the feeling that Liam had intervened not only because of Harry, who kept his eyes on Louis the entire time. This confused Louis very much and he just tried to not pay attention to it. He didn't need Harry's belated pity.</p><p>“The song is great and I like the arrangement” rejoiced Liam.</p><p>“Thanks” coughed Louis shyly. “Then we just have to think about who sings what”.</p><p>“I'd suggest you sing the second verse, Niall. Fits your voice” suggested Liam immediately.</p><p>“For sure?” he checked. Liam nodded to him.</p><p>“Alright, but then you sing the third verse” suggested Niall as a compromise.</p><p>“I can live with that” giggled Liam.</p><p>“Harry, I would say you take the opening verse. Then we get some Zayn and Louis action after the second refrain. Just as I had it in mind all the time” continued Niall excitedly.</p><p>“I thought you wanted Louis all to yourself?” raised Zayn an eyebrow at him.</p><p>“I'm defeated. I'm not getting in the way of your future plans, but I have a condition”.</p><p>“And that would be?”.</p><p>“His butt belongs to me! I never wanted anything else. You two are made for one another. I will not stand in the way of your special love if we share him physically” offered Niall him fairly.</p><p>“Deal, you crazy chicken” shook Zayn hands with Niall.</p><p>“And what about me? Will I not be asked? After all, it's about me” protested Louis playfully. Mostly because he had seen Liam's face at the word love and noticed how Harry's expression also changed. He was probably disgusted, but he didn't want to say anything so as not to ruin everything on the first day.</p><p>“Shut up, Bitch. It's not always about you” silenced Niall him.</p><p>“Ey!” jumped Louis on Niall, which led to both of them falling off the couch and onto the floor, hurting their heads. But they didn't care. They just kept rolling around and punching each other playfully until Niall gasped out.</p><p>“Okay, you win. I take it back”.</p><p>“That's what I wanted to hear. I might be small, but I’m still stronger than you” laughed Louis triumphantly as he stood up and sat back down on the couch opposite Liam and Zayn.</p><p>“That's right. Don't underestimate him. Look at those arms. He's stronger than us both in one” supported Zayn Louis strangely.</p><p>“More and more, I feel like a bit of a fair game. Maybe I should just dump you both and stay alone or convert to women” commented Louis, questioning.</p><p>“They would all jump on you immediately. Leave it as it is” told Zayn him directly again.</p><p>“So you can jump me?” raised Louis an eyebrow cheekily at Zayn.</p><p>“Psst Louis. Do you have to tell them what we're going to do later?” Zayn wanted to silence Louis.</p><p>“Maybe someone has objection” grinned Louis innocently.</p><p>“Yes, Me” interjected Liam seriously. Zayn and Louis both looked at him in astonishment. Niall and Harry hadn't expected this answer either.</p><p>“Um, I mean. We really should focus on the music. The gig is already on Friday and we only have three songs. We need to keep our focus” cleared Liam his throat and turned the conversation back to the songs. Louis and Zayn looked at each other and understood without words that both thought Liam's response sounded like an excuse, no matter how right he was.</p><p>“Well, you Party Pooper. What are you suggesting how we proceed?” asked Niall amused.</p><p>“Louis, you said you've finished two songs” addressed Liam now Louis, who nodded in agreement. “Did you write anything else?”.</p><p>“Um yes. I have two more songs. They are not like ... maybe something ... urgh, here” stammered Louis and handed the lyrics to Liam.</p><p>“<em>Here We Are</em> and <em>Perfect Liar</em>? Louis, where do you get your inspiration for such great lyrics?” wondered Liam enthusiastically as he passed the lyrics to the other boys.</p><p>“No idea. I just write what I feel. I'll see later if it's good or bad” answered Louis unsurely.</p><p>“They're awesome. Ever thought about doing that for a living?”.</p><p>“Who? Me? Forget it” dismissed Louis the thing.</p><p>“Why not? You're super talented” Liam didn't let up.</p><p>“He's right. They are really great, Shorty” agreed Harry with him, holding the passed-on text in his hand.</p><p>Louis was very surprised to hear Harry acknowledging that he was supposedly talented. Louis didn't know what to think about that. This Harry was really suspicious to him and he didn’t trust him one bit.</p><p>“Thank you, but you exaggerate. Anyone else has written something or have an idea?” changed Louis the subject.</p><p>Zayn shifted nervously back and forth and played with his shoes. After a short time, he finally gave in. “Maybe, I have something,” he said barely audible. All five of them turned surprised to Zayn, who just got more nervous under their gaze.</p><p>“However, it isn't quite finished yet. Maybe you can help me finish it” added Zayn and looked at Louis.</p><p>“If you want me to” mumbled Louis unsurely. He wasn't used to people believing in him like that. He couldn't handle that pretty well.</p><p>“Of course. I wrote it yesterday night when I couldn't sleep. Maybe it's complete bullshit” admitted Zayn sheepishly.</p><p>“We got this, Joey”.</p><p>“If we can suggest unfinished songs then maybe I have something too and before you say something, no it's not as bad as the last one” tried Harry to suggest something.</p><p>“That's good. So maybe you two work on Zayn's song while Harry can finish his song. Niall, any ideas what we could do?”.</p><p>“Maybe you can go through the songs we already have and part them and think about how to get the best out of the song. I mean, you said you're better with melodies anyway” suggested Niall thoughtfully.</p><p>“Great idea,” said Liam in surprise.</p><p>“Why are you so surprised? Should I be offended?” asked Niall playfully offended. “So, then it's only me left. What can I do?”.</p><p>“You could help me with my song” offered Harry surprisingly and everybody turned to him, shock on their faces.</p><p>“Are you serious?”.</p><p>“Two work better together. The last time I worked with Louis it turned out great. Two is better than alone” explained Harry as monotonously as possible.</p><p>The memory of that day flashed back into Louis' head. He felt an unwanted connection on that day which caused his crush to grow. The crush that didn't exist anymore, but hearing Harry talk about that, and not in a bad way, felt strange. Louis really wanted to forget that.</p><p>“Okay, then it's settled. That's what we'll do now. Louis, are you and Zayn going into your room to work and Harry and Niall stay here while I will work in the kitchen?” asked Liam finally.</p><p>“Sounds good” agreed Louis shortly.</p><p>And with that, they all went their separate ways to work on the songs. That will be an exhausting evening.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>---&gt;</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“So Harry, how did you even get the idea for your song?” Niall wanted to know first.</p><p>“Why do you want to know that?” wondered Harry confused.</p><p>“If I should help you, I need to know what you want to say with the song,” told Niall him.</p><p>“Oh, Yeah, right. When I met Louis yesterday he said that sometimes words are not enough. That's what haunted me all day and when I got home I came up with the song in some way” explained Harry, getting softer towards the end.</p><p>“Okay, show me. '<em>Just Words</em>'?” read Niall out loud as Harry handed him the text. Quickly, he read over it. “That sounds good, but what exactly do you need my help with?”.</p><p>“Well, as you can see I have nothing but the chorus and the first two verses so …” trailed Harry off.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>One single word simply misunderstood</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And the world could go down</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Two single words purely for good</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And I feel like a huge let-down</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Three single words whispered into my ear</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And my whole body is shaking (I want you)</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Fortress of desire built without any spoken words</em>
</p><p>
  <em>But still not close to breaking</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span class="u">Chorus</span>
  </em>
  <em>:</em>
</p><p>
  <em>A million words and even more meanings</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Fucking up makes us human beings</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Sixteen thousand words a day</em>
</p><p>
  <em>But words are just words if you don’t mean what they say</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Niall tried to imagine the song on stage, who could sing the already existing parts and how it might sound. He absolutely wanted to help Harry. If he ever accepted help Niall didn't want to mess it up directly. Otherwise, he might think twice about it next time. Suddenly, Niall had a brainstorm and grabbed paper and pen. Harry watched him attentively. When Niall was finished, Harry read the done writing.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>A word can make you or break you</em>
</p><p>
  <em>It has a massive unknown power</em>
</p><p>
  <em>If you’re not careful enough they will rain down on you</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Like an ice-cold shower</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>I watch your lips moving when you speak</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Damn, I’m such a freak</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I wanna feel them on my own</em>
</p><p>
  <em>So we can mute the world and explore the unknown</em>
</p><p> </p><p>“That's really good and pretty strange. What did you think of?” Harry wanted to know curiously.</p><p>“Louis,” said Niall simply. Confused, Harry looked at him and Niall noticed that he had to explain it. “Not like that. I imagined how he would sing that song, what the song could mean to him and then it just came out of it. The rest came all by himself”.</p><p>“You imagined how he sings?” hooked Harry dumbfounded.</p><p>“I know that sounds weird, but that helped me. He's my best friend. I wanted to write something that suits him. He has such a special voice. He should trust himself more” went Niall into more detail and noticed how he deviated from the subject and said things that he should never say to Harry.</p><p>“Yes, he has” agreed Harry surprisingly.</p><p>Niall left that statement uncommented and turned back to the text. He revised something here and there and then shoved it over to Harry. He read through it and gave Niall a satisfied thumbs up. As Niall pulled out his cell phone, Harry glanced over at Liam in the kitchen to see if he could hear them.</p><p>“Tell me, you don't happen to know who Louis' song is about? <em>Perfect Liar</em>. Does this happen to be about me?” asked Harry Niall, who just looked at him, stunned.</p><p>“What? Why do you think that?”.</p><p>“Well, the title and the lyrics. When I read it, I felt somehow addressed, as if he had processed certain things in it” explained Harry himself.</p><p>“I don't know what he wrote the song about, but if I were you I wouldn't think he'd spend the time writing anything about you” replied Niall protectively and harsher than planned.</p><p>“I know what you mean. He has no reason whatsoever to think about me. Yesterday, he involuntarily told me something that I can't handle well. I can't shake away the feeling of hurting him the most, but I don't know why. What is the difference between your situation and his own? What makes his so much worse?” admitted Harry honestly.</p><p>He had clearly already thought about it too much but came to no solution. That Zayn hated him was clear as day to him. Because of their past, because of the words, he had thrown at his head. But it seemed to Harry that Zayn was particularly angry because he had hurt Louis. Well, and Liam. But since Liam forgave him only Louis remained. The looks that Zayn threw him screamed murder threats just when Harry dared to look at Louis. He simply didn't understand why. He hadn't offended him that badly, right?</p><p>“Harry, I can't tell you much about it. That's not my right. And besides, I'm not trusting you just because I forgave you. I suppose I'm just too naïve for this world, but I have to live with that. Louis should explain this to you himself, but it's unlikely to happen. But yes, you hurt him the most and I won't say much more” conceded Niall, though he wasn't sure if that was such a good idea.</p><p>Niall's words left Harry thoughtful. Was there something that Harry overlooked? Then it occurred to him that Louis had mentioned a weakness he had almost confided to him. Did Niall speak of that? And what could that be? What could be so bad that nobody wanted to tell him? And was that the reason why it hit Louis the most what he had said? What did he say exactly again?</p><p>Lost in thoughts, Harry sat down again on the couch, throwing down something small. The sound ripped him from his thoughts and he looked down at what had fallen. It was Louis' notebook. Apparently, he had forgotten it here. There was one side open due to the fall. There were scribbled sentences or phrases on the paper. A kind of idea-collection. As Harry was about to close it, his gaze fell on three sentences that made his blood freeze.</p><p>
  <em>Fading scars across my skin. A bruised heart cause of where I've been. Burning pain along the way ...</em>
</p><p>The words felt like knife-cuts into his heart. There was a feeling in him that he had never felt before. A terrible thought crept into his consciousness. Was he also a reason for one of Louis' scars?</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>---&gt;</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Zayn, is it possible that the song is about Liam?” asked Louis his friend curious after they finished the song called <em>'In The Moonlight'</em>.</p><p>“What makes you think that?” creaked Zayn startled. Louis just shot him an omniscient look and Zayn breathed out, defeated. “Is it so obvious?”.</p><p>“Not compulsory. Only if you know what to look for, which is pretty clear to me” reassured Louis him.</p><p>“Oh God, what if he realizes it too? He was there yesterday” panicked Zayn.</p><p>“So, this situation was really yesterday?” inquired Louis intrigued. Zayn nodded shyly. “I wouldn't be worried. It's still Liam. He doesn't even notice it when you're holding it right under his nose. Oblivious as always”.</p><p>“There's something in it” muttered Zayn.</p><p>“Just because it is far too obvious for yourself doesn't mean that the person gets that too,” said Louis absent-mindedly</p><p>“Why do I feel like we're not talking about Liam anymore?” smirked Zayn and wiggled his eyebrows.</p><p>“You look stupid when you do that” laughed Louis, trying to distract him.</p><p>“Did you see his face when he read your lyrics?” bypassed Zayn Louis' distraction attempt.</p><p>“He probably thought it was shit and didn't want to say it, because he knows you'd fuck him off with a kick” stared Louis at the floor.</p><p>“That's what I would have done” validated Zayn, making Louis smile. “But I think he may have felt addressed. I don't look like that if I want to puke”.</p><p>“I don't think so. He would have to be aware of what he did” waved Louis the matter off.</p><p>“If you think so”.</p><p>“Okay, to make this clear. Yay, I had a really inexplicable crush on him, but it doesn't exist anymore. Luckily he destroyed it on his own. Can we just pretend it never happened and push it on desperate hormones?” begged Louis him pleadingly. Louis really had enough and didn't want to talk about it anymore.</p><p>“Sure. I'm glad when you're alright and Harry is no longer a regular topic of conversation” gave Zayn him a reassuring smile.</p><p>“Thanks. I'll go down in the kitchen and see how far Liam has come. You're okay here?” checked Louis as he got up and walked to the door. Zayn nodded in agreement and Louis made his way downstairs.</p><p>“Lima, how's it going? Already produced number 1 hits?” came Louis joyously into the kitchen and jumped on Liam’s back.</p><p>“Sure, several, you crazy bum” laughed Liam, supporting Louis' legs.</p><p>“You're a sweetheart” kissed Louis Liam on the cheek.</p><p>“I suppose it went well judging by your temper, Armor” asked Liam amused.</p><p>“Easy Peasy, Pretty well” sing-songed Louis happy. He leapt off Liam's back and ran to the fridge in search of food.</p><p>“That's brilliant” rejoiced Liam.</p><p>When Louis looked through the fridge he wished he could cook without setting the kitchen on fire. He was really hungry, but his mother would come home very late and then nobody should have to cook anymore. Behind him, Liam nervously shifted his foot over the floor.</p><p>“And the wedding planning is going well?” asked Liam him and Louis turned to him slightly confused.</p><p>“Sure, everything's planned and ready for implementation. We thought about the end of the year” he replied, waiting for Liam's reaction. Liam looked away and fixed his gaze on the computer.</p><p>“That's fantastic,” he said, tried joyfully, but it sounded rather disappointed. So Louis was right. Something about this joke disturbed Liam enormously.</p><p>“You know we're not really going to marry, don't ya, Liam?” asked Louis him calmly as he walked up to him.</p><p>“No?”.</p><p>“Of course not, this is just fun. Just like when Niall claims ownership on my ass” chuckled Louis.</p><p>“I'm not so sure it's just fun with him. His obsession worries me” pointed Liam out.</p><p>“Now that you say it” started Louis seriously doubting Niall's mind.</p><p>“But besides this. Zayn and I are just kidding. We make a lot of shit together and talk about the most intimate things, but that's about it. We get along pretty well. Just because we're the two gays in this circle of friends doesn't mean we're ending up together. He's like a brother to me. Just because it might be logical for some people, which it isn't, doesn't mean it happens. Sometimes the heart wants things that the mind doesn't understand” explained Louis to Liam calmly.</p><p>Instead of answering, Liam hugged Louis firmly and held him close. The relief was clearly felt, and it was their first real hug now that Louis thought about it. Pretty strange. “You know I'm always here for you” whispered Liam into his ear and Louis just nodded.</p><p>As the two let go, Louis' gaze fell directly on Harry, who was sitting on the couch looking into the kitchen while Niall was jumping towards them. “Naww, did Lilo just have a bromance moment?” cooed Niall.</p><p>“Way to ruin a moment” shook Liam his head.</p><p>Louis was still looking at Harry, who looked at him with an unreadable look on his face. Louis assumed that Harry must have heard what he said to Liam. This was the first time that Louis has spoken of the two as gay. So far, it has always been just assumed, but this was the first time that Harry had heard the words out of his mouth. This undeniable realization probably shocked him. Or was it because of the heart and mind thing? Hopefully, Harry didn't think now Louis still has a crush on him. That was the last thing he needed now. Harry without that false knowledge was bad enough.</p><p>“I'm starving. Give me something to eat or I'll eat Harry” ordered Niall with a growling stomach.</p><p>“You know how wrong that sounds?!” chuckled Louis serenely. Now Harry came over to them into the kitchen.</p><p>“Only if you think wrong” countered Niall. “But doesn't matter. I'm hungry, cook me something”.</p><p>“Sorry, Niall. Daddy can't cook you anything. We need to think about something else unless you want me to burn down the kitchen” had Louis to disappoint Niall.</p><p>“That's true though. He couldn't even cook to save his life” laughed Sophia, who now came into the kitchen.</p><p>“Ey!” complained Louis and pouted.</p><p>“Only the truth,” she said defensively.</p><p>“You have to be Louis' sister” stated Liam the obvious.</p><p>“One of them” she grinned.</p><p>“Sophia, this is Liam” introduced Louis Liam to his sister, realising she hasn’t met Liam yet.</p><p>“You already know Niall” he continued, and Niall waved at her with an excessive exaggeration, which Sophia replied with a laugh.</p><p>“And that's Harry” added Louis reluctantly.</p><p>“Mh, I've never heard of you. Have you been friends for a long time?” she asked aimlessly.</p><p>“Can't say that, No” replied Harry shortly.</p><p>Louis was surprised how honest and unconcerned this answer was, but instead of thinking about it, he tried to suppress the need to puke when he saw his sister staring at Harry and Harry returning the look. Just the idea ...</p><p>“Where is your boyfriend?” asked Sophia as she finally released her eyes from Harry.</p><p>“Which boyfriend?” Louis didn't understand.</p><p>“The god with the great eyes. Why? Do you have more than one?” questioned Sophia sassily.</p><p>“Oh, you mean Zayn” it fell like scales from Louis' eyes.</p><p>“Who speaks of me?” came Zayn's voice out of the hall and a few seconds later he was in the kitchen.</p><p>“Boyfriend then, huh?” grinned Niall.</p><p>“Didn't you feel hungry?” growled Louis at him.</p><p>“Louis, when is Mum coming home?” Sophia wanted to know.</p><p>“Very late” he answered sadly.</p><p>“Are Stella and Lunita with their babysitter?” checked Sophia.</p><p>“Yeah, and Emily's with a friend,” told Louis her.</p><p>“So only us” she stated.</p><p>“And those chaotic ones” added Louis.</p><p>“I'm so lucky” she sighed, looking back and forth between them. “After all, you three are here too. So maybe they aren't that loud today”.</p><p>Louis watched her open-mouthed as she left the kitchen indifferent while Zayn sat down on one of the squatting chairs in front of the kitchen counter.</p><p>“Loud? Did I miss something or why is this poor girl so traumatized?” asked Liam horrified.</p><p>“Well, when Zayn was here more often during the holidays ..”.</p><p>“Spare us the details of your bed stories. If I don't get something to eat right now I have to eat Harry” interrupted Niall Louis nagging.</p><p>“Whoa, Niall. I didn't know you were swinging this way” laughed Zayn entertained.</p><p>“Louis' influence is easy to spot,” said Niall amused.</p><p>“So, food. Any ideas?” wanted Liam to stay factual.</p><p>“That takes too long. Sorry Harry, but I'll probably eat you” grinned Niall cheekily.</p><p>“But I don't want to be eaten, not by you” chuckled Harry amused.</p><p>“Uhh, is that supposed to mean by someone else?” wiggled Niall his eyebrows and nudged Harry against the shoulder.</p><p>“Eww Niall, nobody wants to know that” squeaked Zayn in disgust.</p><p>“Are you sure?” asked Niall quietly and sat back down normally. Louis looked everywhere except towards Harry. His intimation and Niall's stupidity had rekindled the memories and now Louis felt slightly uncomfortable and watched.</p><p>“Can we for once discuss something without you talking about sex? That would be great” sighed Liam helplessly.</p><p>“But sex is great, isn't it?” interjected Harry and no, Louis did not notice how he looked at him. Nope.</p><p>“Jesus Christ, help me!” exclaimed Liam.</p><p>“So let's let Jesus out of this. This is not holy anymore” joked Niall, making Liam go even more insane.</p><p>“Jesus or not, the problem remains the same. I can't help you with the food. As far as I know, Niall is not capable of decent cooking, at least not for more people than himself. And Zayn is Zayn” came Louis back to the original topic, because he was uncomfortable with this talk about sex, especially with Harry in the room.</p><p>“I could cook something” offered Harry and they looked at him, puzzled.</p><p>“You cook?” hooked Louis stunned.</p><p>“Why are you so surprised, Buttercup? Yes, I can cook. Just because I'm rich doesn't mean I can't do anything” explained Harry himself.</p><p>“I didn't mean it like that” mumbled Louis softly.</p><p>“What do you wanna make? Then I can help you while the children are waiting. Apparently, we are the only viable ones here” turned Liam now to Harry, who turned his gaze away from Louis.</p><p>“For that, I have to know what's there” replied Harry neutrally.</p><p>“Feel at home” gave Louis them permission to rummage through the kitchen.</p><p>While Liam and Harry agreed on a meal and started cooking, Niall, Louis and Zayn sat at the kitchen counter and watched them. At least, Louis did that. He never thought Harry could cook. Hadn't he boasted that he had employees for everything? Based on what he had heard about his father so far it surprised Louis very much that Harry was allowed to dirty his hands. But he looked so focused as he prepared the food. The tongue slightly outside, eyes focused on the food. He looked almost innocent. Louis shook himself once and looked away. He wasn't allowed to think like that. He couldn't afford his crush to come back. That would never go well and in the end, Louis would only be more broken than he was already.</p><p>“Food is ready” announced Liam after a while and Niall leapt immediately with wide eyes to him and reached for the food. Liam shooed him back and sent him to the table. Grumbling, he sat down and waited for the food. Zayn and Louis had set the table and told Sophia. When they all sat at the table, Harry and Liam put the food on the table. They had made noodles with vegetables and some gravy.</p><p>As Louis took the first bite and tried the food he really had to try not to moan with happiness. Fuck, the food was good. Harry had magical hands and Louis wanted to eat only his food. But he would have to like Harry, however, so that could be a problem.</p><p>“Harry, that's awesome. You wanna marry me?” moaned Niall with his mouthful.</p><p>“Ha, thanks. If that comes from you that has to mean something” gurgled Harry.</p><p>“That's really good, Harry” agreed Louis with Niall.</p><p>“That's nice to hear. Thanks, Shorty, especially from you” said Harry thankfully, seeking eye contact with Louis, who tried not to look at him.</p><p>Now that Harry knew he had had a crush on him, Louis couldn't shake the feeling away that Harry was behaving differently. Picturing it and making Louis flustered, just for fun because he could. Louis couldn't do that. This humiliation he could get somewhere else.</p><p>“So, will we meet here again tomorrow to rehearse, or will we go to someone else?” cleared Liam his throat and started a conversation.</p><p>But Louis didn't listen. He was trying hard to focus on the food. He just heard the others decide on meeting here tomorrow because they had the most peace and space. Of course, Niall had to make it clear that Harry had to cook again and immediately expressed a few wishes.</p><p>“They really pretend that nothing ever happened. Just because he can cook doesn't mean everything's good” whispered Zayn to Louis.</p><p>“You're right” agreed Louis in a whisper and looked briefly at Harry. Startled, he realized that Harry had heard them. What Zayn had said was the truth, why did Louis have to feel so bad anyway? Sometimes it was really cursing to be a compassionate person with a conscience.</p><p>Just as they were clearing the table, Louis' mother came in. “Mum, you're back” greeted Sophia her cheerfully.</p><p>“It's very late. I'm sorry, but the hospital was full today. What smells so good in here. Don't tell me you cooked?” asked Jasmine in surprise.</p><p>“Why don't you ask if it was me?” huffed Louis.</p><p>“Should I really answer that?” raised Jasmine an eyebrow and kissed Louis on the forehead. He just grumbled to himself.</p><p>“Harry cooked and it was really tasty” answered Sophia her mother's question.</p><p>“Harry?” she asked in confusion.</p><p>“That's me, Mrs. Tomlinson” introduced Harry himself and held out his hand.</p><p>“Call me Jaz, Sweetheart” she offered and pulled him into a short hug. Louis didn't like that familiarity.</p><p>“There's still something to eat if you want,” told Harry her happily.</p><p>“Thanks, it's weird to come home to cooked food” chuckled Jasmine.</p><p>“Hey!” exclaimed Louis insulted.</p><p>“Don't be snapped, Honey”.</p><p>“It could be a habit this week. We need to prepare a performance for Mrs. Stewart, so we have to rehearse here every day and Niall insists that Harry cooks” informed Liam her.</p><p>“A real performance? That's fantastic. I'm glad for you” she beamed excitedly.</p><p>“But that also means a lot of work and that in the first week. Fortunately, we have hardly any homework” grumbled Louis at the thought of the rest of the days.</p><p>“Yes, thanks to the Australian school system or more precisely, your school’s system” noted Jasmine.</p><p>“Isn't that the same everywhere?” asked Harry confused.</p><p>“No, in America everything is different and in England, it is something else again” explained Jasmine while eating.</p><p>“You lived in America?”.</p><p>“Didn't Louis tell you that?” wondered Jasmine and looked at her son.</p><p>“We're not friends for that long, Mum” wanted Louis to finish the topic and his mother took the hint.</p><p>“Okay, it's very late. What do you think of staying here tonight? I can't let you out alone in this darkness. Except for Zayn, you all have a way too long way home, especially Niall. That's too risky” offered Jasmine openly.</p><p>“That's very kind of you” thanked Liam her in everyone's name. Yawning, Niall was already up the stairs, followed by Liam.</p><p>“You never told her?” hooked Zayn in a whisper as they walked up the stairs.</p><p>Louis said no by shaking his head. “I didn't mean to worry her. She's my mother, imagine her reaction”.</p><p>“Maybe that would have been good, then he would have gotten what he deserves. I still want to throw the bastard in front of a train” told Zayn him angrily.</p><p>“That is very noble of you, but not necessary if nothing would have changed” entered Louis his room.</p><p>“Still, I'll kill him” insisted Zayn, completely ignoring the fact that Harry was behind them all the time. They had talked so quietly that he certainly didn't hear that.</p><p>“You can just grab something to sleep out of the closet if you want. Could be a bit short, but that's your problem” threw Louis himself on the bed.</p><p>“And that's for sure our problem?” quipped Niall an eyebrow at him.</p><p>“I hate you, you annoying Spanish goblin” snarled Louis.</p><p>“I love you too, Jonno”.</p><p>“Knock, knock. Here are some air mattresses if you want to sleep in here” said Jasmine as she entered the room with three large air mattresses.</p><p>“Can I help you?” asked Harry, coming directly to her for help.</p><p>“Thank you, nice of you,” she said thank you.</p><p>When she left, the boys agreed that Harry, Zayn and Liam were sleeping on the floor and Niall with Louis in his bed, though they could have just as well slept in his sisters' rooms. Idiots. Louis lay awake for a while, staring at the ceiling. The calm breathing of Zayn and Liam made him sleepy.</p><p>“What are you thinking about?” asked Niall him softly.</p><p>“Sorry, I thought you were already sleeping” apologized Louis for keeping his friend awake.</p><p>“That was not an answer”.</p><p>“It's nothing, just a bit confused” answered Louis indifferent.</p><p>“And why? Is that the matter with Harry?” Niall wanted to know.</p><p>“Could be. I don't know. How could you forget all this so quickly? Liam doesn't surprise me, but you do” turned Louis around to look at Niall.</p><p>“That's hard to explain. Forgiving and forgetting are two different things. You should forgive everyone, I think. I know that's often difficult, depending on what happened. But in that case, I found that somehow it worked, which doesn't mean I fully trust him. Believe me, I hear his words more often than I like in my head, especially now that we see him so often. But we can be better than him. We can deal with it on an adult scale. Just because he hurt us, we don't have to do that either. We can deal with him and take the situation as it is”.</p><p>“I'm not Liam. He would forgive Godzilla and invite him into his house. But I can handle it reasonably and I can, I think, tell when Harry is lying and when he told us his point of view today after school there was nothing but the truth in his eyes. The explanation wasn't the best in the world and doesn't make it any better because he conceded he has consciously done it, but he feels a little bit bad after all. That is a beginning. We can't expect more from him. Today he was quite okay and it's for a higher matter after all” explained Niall his point of view.</p><p>Louis tried to process all of his words, but that was quite a lot. It was still unusual to hear Niall say so much without a joke in between but he knew when he was this serious Niall really had spent a lot of time thinking about it.</p><p>“I understand what you mean. I see it the same way. Forgiveness is always something that is important to me. I forgave <em>him</em> too in a way, but that doesn't make the aftermath any better. I only lock myself up now. I can't do anything about it. To be honest, I would like to forgive Harry and forget everything and believe that something is about to change, but I just can't. That doesn't allow my head. Since I let everything out yesterday what had accumulated, I am doing better and I thought maybe I could leave it behind now. But it doesn't work” confessed Louis openly to Niall.</p><p>“Don't expect too much from you. You are already a burnt child. It gets better with time. You said yourself that it got better” wanted Niall to cheer him up.</p><p>“But that was before Harry has said all these things. Thanks to his rudeness, this haunts me again in my dreams. It just got better, but now it's worse than ever” admitted Louis sadly.</p><p>“I don't want to defend him, but he didn't know what he was doing”.</p><p>“Maybe not with his words directly, but he's done so many things deliberately just to make me feel uncomfortable and flinch and you know that's true. You've seen it, so don't tell me it wasn't on purpose. He knew exactly what he was doing, but it doesn't matter now. I forgot about that, but I just can't treat him normally and pretend nothing happened. Whenever I see him, everything comes back up. His insults, this nice little incident that led me to tell you everything, his remarks about my voice and the songs, how he pretended he wanted to be with us just to take advantage of it. And from the full moon night to this great speech in which he insulted me as worthless. I see all this when I look at him. So, if you have an idea how to stop this, I'm always here for it” countered Louis and felt his despair rise.</p><p>“You're right, but you know me. I always see the good in people, whether I like it or not. But I would never confide him the things you already know. Even if he doesn't hang around with Sean anymore or insults us, he is not suddenly a saint. For him, money and power and sex are still more important than everything else. I see this. But we can deal with him. No one has ever said best friends forever” confessed Niall more to himself.</p><p>“I do my best. I just want peace and silence” sighed Louis thoughtfully.</p><p>“And just so you know, if anything should happen again, with Harry or anyone else that you don't want, Zayn and I will kill that person on the spot. We're still planning our trip to Malibu to throw a certain person in front of a train” let Niall him know.</p><p>“You're crazy, but thanks. You're the best” smiled Louis, finally feeling like sleeping.</p><p>After a few minutes, he had fallen asleep and Niall crawled to his side of the bed when a rustle sounded. “Harry, are you awake?” he asked carefully.</p><p>“All the time” Harry's voice sounded in the darkness.</p><p>“Damn it. Did you hear everything?” Niall wanted to know, cursing under his breath.</p><p>“Just because you're whispering doesn't mean no one is listening to you. I heard so much today that wasn't meant for my ears” let Harry him know.</p><p>“Harry, we ..”.</p><p>“Drop it, Niall. It's okay” cut Harry off, and with that, there was finally total silence in the room and sleep came over them.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. 12.1 No Common Ground</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>“Sometimes I wonder if I'm not in a movie” smiled Louis as he watched Liam from the kitchen counter as he helped his mother prepare breakfast.</p><p>“In the movies, I wouldn't starve” yelped Niall next to him impatiently with a growling stomach.</p><p>“Niall, you'll never change” grinned Louis, shaking his head and pushed Niall's shoulder so that he fell down to the floor.</p><p>“Hey!” he exclaimed shocked but amused.</p><p>“What are you doing? Can you at least behave like civilized people in the morning?” asked Liam solemnly.</p><p>“Can you eat that?” replied Niall hungrily, still lying on the floor.</p><p>“Unbelievable” mumbled Liam, shaking his head.</p><p>“Morning” murmured Harry sleepily greeting as he came into the kitchen.</p><p>“Good morning, Darling. You look tired. Didn't anyone wake you?” greeted Jasmine him kindly. Much too friendly if it was up to Louis. Harry shook his head and sat at the edge of the kitchen counter.</p><p>“Before you say anything. We wanted to wake him up, but then we had to think about how it was to wake Zayn for the first time, totally traumatizing. So we decided to let him sleep for a while” justified Louis himself before his mother could even ask.</p><p>“Nobody except for Liam should even think about waking Zayn if you want to live a little longer” added Niall with a laugh.</p><p>“Where is Zayn anyway?” asked Jasmine in search.</p><p>“In the bathroom” Niall and Louis answered at the same time.</p><p>“Still?”.</p><p>“It's Zayn”.</p><p>“Now I understand why you let Harry sleep” grinned Jasmine.</p><p>“Maybe because a certain someone thought he looked so peaceful” whispered Niall quietly, but Louis had heard him and thrusted his elbow into his ribs.</p><p>“Zayn isn't that bad” defended Liam him. Niall and Louis cooed at him and fluttered their eyelashes.</p><p>“Good morning” greeted Sophia the boys as she happily hopped down the stairs.</p><p>“Good morning Darling, slept well?” checked Jasmine jaunty.</p><p>“Fantastic and for a change, it was quiet” she answered, winking at Louis knowingly.</p><p>Without a comment, Louis got up and took the plates and set the table. Liam and Jasmine brought breakfast to the table and everyone sat down. Zayn finally came downstairs.</p><p>“See who finally appeared,” said Niall dramatically.</p><p>“Took you long enough, Snow White” mocked Louis him.</p><p>“Hey, it's a lot of work to look like this” snorted Zayn, pointing to his head as he sat down next to Liam.</p><p>“Oh, excuse me, Beauty Queen”.</p><p>Louis' response made Niall laugh aloud and Sophia also joined in. Jasmine watched the action happily while Liam tried to suppress his smile and stay serious. Louis dodged the glare that Zayn threw at him, causing his eyes to fall on Harry. He was also laughing softly.</p><p>For a brief moment, the fact that he had made Harry laugh made Louis smile. But then he remembered who Harry was and the smile disappeared. Seeing Harry in the morning before he got ready was an unfamiliar picture for Louis. Still slightly sleepy and with bed hair, he didn't look so arrogant and self-loving anymore but damn sexy and adorable at the same time. Was that the sight all his fuck girls had when he got up in the morning? Did he stay that long or did he leave straight after the act? And why was he thinking about that right now?</p><p>When Harry's eyes caught on Louis', he quickly looked at Zayn and joined into his conversation. Just because he no longer liked Harry that way didn't mean that he wasn't embarrassed to get caught staring. And no, he hadn't stared at him because he still had feelings for him, but because he just looked so damned good early in the morning. You can admit it without liking anyone or should Louis deny that Sean didn't look like shit just because he's an arrogant fucker?</p><p>After breakfast, Louis cleared the table with his mother while Sophia and the boys went upstairs to get their school supplies.</p><p>“I could get used to this,” said Jasmine smilingly to her son.</p><p>“Me too” agreed Louis contently.</p><p>“I'm out. See you later” shouted Sophia as she left the house.</p><p>“Louis, I wanted to tell you something before you leave. It's about my job” walked Jasmine up to him. He knew that tone. The same thing happened every time they moved when she told him how sorry she was. “Yesterday, my boss told us he had an important job to give out in a hospital in Sydney and wanted to know who was interested in it”.</p><p>“Okay, when are we leaving?” came Louis straight to the point, staring to the floor. Talking around the matter didn't make it any better.</p><p>Jasmine put two fingers under his chin and lifted it so she could look him in the eye. “Darling, who said that I want the job?”</p><p>“You don't want it? But this is a great opportunity” wondered Louis flabbergasted.</p><p>“Maybe, but I also have a great opportunity to be happy with my children” countered Jasmine softly.</p><p>“You shouldn't miss this opportunity because of us. We'll be fine” assured Louis her with a forced smile.</p><p>“And that's why you're the best son a mother could wish for. But I can't ask you to give up everything because of me and leave your friends behind. That happened too often” said Jasmine surely.</p><p>“I didn't have to leave a lot of friends behind” murmured Louis to himself</p><p>“And that's all my fault. You could never really make friends due to constantly moving. I've already destroyed so much. I'm not gonna do that again. Your friends here are unique. The boys are special and I will not take you away from them” clarified Jasmine.</p><p>“Mum, you didn't destroy everything. It was your career, that's more important” he contradicted her.</p><p>“Not more important than your happiness” stated Jasmine surely.</p><p>“Mum” sighed Louis.</p><p>“Don't even think about it. I gratefully rejected the offer” she confessed to him.</p><p>“What? But that would be ..”.</p><p>“I've promised us something: no moving anymore that we don't all want to do. First and foremost, it's about you. You should be able to live normally again with friends and relationships. Just not too many” laughed Jasmine lightly.</p><p>“Five times in three years is really enough. Just look at you. It has changed you, made you quieter and more reserved. We will stay here and put the family and friends back in focus. No job is more important than you. I also like my job here and the people” she clarified once and for all and hugged Louis.</p><p>“Thanks, Mum” he whispered touched. “But that I closed myself off had another reason. I never told you that because you shouldn't worry, but ...”.</p><p>“Louis, Harry, come on. We have to go, or we'll be late” Liam's shout interrupted him, and Louis winced slightly.</p><p>“What did you want to say, Honey?” Jasmine wanted to know.</p><p>“Not so important. I'll tell you another time” he waved the matter off and ran to the door.</p><p>He almost knocked Harry over, who stood rooted in the corridor, facing the kitchen. Louis frowned. Had Harry been standing there all the time? And if so, then why? Did he hear everything? Judging by his face it was hard to tell. Why would he look so pale hearing them talk about his mother's job? Probably he just remembered something super important and froze on the spot. Maybe he realised he got someone pregnant ... Okay, not even funny to think about that possibility.</p><p>As Louis bumped into Harry he got shaken off his stare and left the house without a comment or another word. Louis just watched him leave and went over to Niall, who was waiting for him with Louis' school supplies in his hands.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>On the way to school, Harry chatted with Liam while Niall walked alongside them. Zayn and Louis walked a few steps behind them, watching the situation sceptically.</p><p>“He really wrapped the two around his little finger” grimaced Zayn in disbelief.</p><p>“I'm not so sure about that” contradicted Louis.</p><p>“You see what I see, don't ya?” asked Zayn him in surprise.</p><p>“I do, but just because they're talking doesn't mean that they're friends. Or are you friends with everyone you talk to?” questioned Louis shrewd.</p><p>“Not really, but that ...”.</p><p>“That's not different. I talked to Niall last night and he said he'll act normal with Harry, but that doesn't make them friends. And he's right about that. We can just tolerate him if he's there. He may behave like a little child, but we don't have to do that. Being friendly and being friends are two completely different things” interrupted Louis Zayn, realizing how much it annoyed him to talk about Harry every day. He'll just try to deal with him if he has to. No more and no less.</p><p>“You two are just too good for the world” sighed Zayn but agreed with him.</p><p>Shortly before they arrived at school the five met Sean on the way. He looked at them pejoratively and approached them. “How deep you can sink. Harry, you used to be on top and now you're at the bottom and for what? For that. Was it really worth it?” eyed Sean him up and down.</p><p>“Yes, it was. And who says bottom? Just because I left you and fat and stupid behind, doesn't mean I'm not popular anymore. You're not the only king here. The girls are still queuing” countered Harry arrogant.</p><p>“As arrogant as ever. I see your goodness hasn't rubbed off yet. A real pity that you're taking him into your midst. Do you really need it so much to be popular, that you're desperate enough to deal with a whore?” mocked Sean the boys.</p><p>“Says the biggest of all whores” shot Harry back.</p><p>“I stand by it. Are you still doing that?” raised Sean an eyebrow.</p><p>“Proud as always” clarified Harry visionary.</p><p>“Let's see what that looks like in a couple of weeks. Just watch out. Their prudishness will rub off on you and you'll suddenly feel sentimental and no one wants to suck your cock anymore. Ask your '<em>friends</em>'“ warned Sean him, then headed for the school building.</p><p>“Well, that's it, Harry. You can still just drop us. Listen to little Seanie. Do it for your beloved cock and all those desperate and needy bitches” spat Zayn, patted him on the shoulder and went into the school building.</p><p>“Zayn” shouted Liam after him and followed Zayn with a sigh.</p><p>“Sorry about that” coughed Niall and gave Harry a short smile while following Liam.</p><p>That was exactly why Louis found it hard to believe Harry anything. He just hadn't changed one bit.</p><p>When Louis also wanted to go into the school building, Harry grabbed his arm and held him back. “Aren't you waiting?”.</p><p>Immediately, Louis tore his arm out of Harry's firm grip. “For what?” he asked flatly.</p><p>“For me” answered Harry matter-of-factly.</p><p>“Why should I?” returned Louis and stroked with his other hand over the now sore spot on his wrist. Harry really had a damn tight grip.</p><p>“I thought friends wait for each other” knitted Harry his eyebrows together.</p><p>“They do, but we'd have to be friends for that and we're not. Nothing has changed” clarified Louis blankly.</p><p>“But things have changed” insisted Harry offended.</p><p>“Oh, and what?” inquired Louis annoyed.</p><p>“I'm not insulting you. I don't see you as worthless anymore” noted Harry seriously.</p><p>“Wow, that's … wow, I'm missing the words. A round of applause for Harry, the saint” snorted Louis, clapping his hands lightly. “Lesson one: worthless is from scratch nobody. Good luck with trying to deceive us. So far that doesn't quite work, Mister Harold” added Louis and then disappeared, shaking his head, into the school building.</p><p>One day rest. One day without Harry or any wisdom or life lessons. Was that too much to ask? He was tired of it and didn’t feel like telling Harry what to do or what was right. That really wasn’t his job.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>---&gt;</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>After school, Liam and Harry sat on Louis' bed and went through the lyrics again while Niall and Zayn finished everything else. At least, Zayn should do that. But he was completely lost in thoughts. He watched Liam and Harry, wondering how they deserved this. Zayn thought about how Louis had said being friendly and being friends would be two different things, but unfortunately that didn't help him at all.</p><p>Niall could do it well, but he was always friendly and cocky no matter who it was. Liam was just a good guy. That he forgave Harry already didn't surprise anyone. Louis tried his best, but Harry and his demanding behaviour towards them, which he didn't really notice, made it difficult for him and Harry really got on his nerves. Zayn simply couldn't forgive Harry and he didn't want to. He had fooled them all over and made fun of them. It was only the second day of school and they should forgive him everything? Just because? Just because it was Harry?</p><p>Let's imagine it would be someone else. Someone who was not Harry. Would you just forgive him after he insulted you and then fooled you and deceived you for weeks? Misused your trust and broke your friends? Would you forgive him just because he demands it for no good reason and blindly trust him?</p><p>Zayn cannot and will not. Someone had to remain suspicious and keep an eye on Harry. Well, Louis was there too, but Zayn would do anything to stop Harry from hurting him like that ever again. So it was probably on him.</p><p>Niall seemed to notice his stare and nudged him slightly. “Just be friendly, just be nice. Nobody asks for more” he whispered encouragingly. Zayn just nodded and hoped Harry wouldn't screw it up again.</p><p>“Sorry, my sister stopped me” apologized Louis when he finally came to them.</p><p>“No problem” smiled Liam understandingly.</p><p>“What did she want?” Niall wanted to know.</p><p>“She wanted some advice about such a guy” frowned Louis disturbed.</p><p>“And she asked you? She should come to me for something like that” puffed Harry up.</p><p>“So you can take away the belief in love of a twelve-year-old and tell her it's all about sex anyway?” shot Louis back annoyed.</p><p>“Better now before it's too late” shrugged Harry indifferent.</p><p>“Remind me that I'll never leave him alone with my sisters” rolled Louis his eyes and sat down next to Zayn.</p><p>“Why should you lie to her?”.</p><p>“You just don't get it. Firstly, she is only twelve. And second, just because you think sex is the only thing that matters in life doesn't mean you're right. There are people who look for more in a person than just having fun. But who am I telling this? It's a waste of time. Just stay away from my sisters. And now let's work on the songs” protected Louis his sisters and then turned to the lyrics, that were lying all over the bed.</p><p>Zayn couldn't agree with Louis more. Harry should stop imposing his standards on everyone else. They didn't want to change him convulsively, even if it might sometimes seem that way. They just wanted to make clear why they didn't like Harry and why that won't change. Their attitude of life just didn't fit together. They were two total extremes. Team only sex and team true love. Zayn didn't want to leave his team, especially not just to please Harry. He could stay as he was as long as he didn't expect deep friendship.</p><p>For a while, they worked on the set-list for the gig, but they just couldn't decide which song to be first and they still needed at least one song. <em>Rock Me</em> would be the end, that was clear from the beginning. The next hour they worked on the tune for the songs until Niall's stomach growled.</p><p>“This is probably our sign to eat something” smiled Zayn knowingly.</p><p>Together, they went down to the kitchen and thought about what they could eat. As previously agreed, Harry was cooking again today and Liam was helping him. Zayn didn't take his eyes off the two. He didn't like how well they understood each other after such a short time. Constantly he found the two talking or laughing. That was a thorn in Zayn's eyes.</p><p>Suddenly Zayn had to remember how Liam had entrusted them that he had confused feelings for a while. When he saw Liam and Harry laughing again, an uneasy feeling crept into Zayn's mind. The two seemed too close after such a short time. He should make Liam laugh. He should talk to him about everything. He should be with him now. Frowning, he rested his head on his hands, watching Harry and Liam cook.</p><p>“Niall, what's that?” he heard Louis ask next to him.</p><p>“Nothing. Just something I wrote down during Biology” replied Niall, trying to regain his block.</p><p>“You wrote a complete song in Biology and didn't mention that when we asked for a song?” blinked Louis stunned at him.</p><p>“This isn't a real song, just thoughts that I had after an incident in front of the bathroom” asserted Niall.</p><p>“What kind of incident?” inquired Louis confusedly.</p><p>“Nothing important. Just a couple of girls who talked about their oh-so-great boyfriends and then compared who got the better presents, which strangely made me angry and this came out of it” described Niall the incident.</p><p>“Huh, I can understand that. I suppose I would have been mad, too” let Louis him know in understanding.</p><p>“That's so typical of you again. Just because the girls like nice things, that's not bad” grunted Harry totally uncomprehendingly.</p><p>“You once again interpreted this completely wrong, but that doesn't surprise anyone” responded Louis bugged.</p><p>“Then enlighten me, Shorty” challenged Harry him and put the text back down.</p><p>“It's about something completely different” began Niall to explain. “I wanted to express that love is about more than just material things. You don't have a boyfriend or girlfriend just to be gifted. You can't buy love, but those two girls didn't understand it any better than you”.</p><p>“How sweet. In which world do you live?” laughed Harry amused.</p><p>“Unfortunately, in this one. In a world where everything becomes more important than people's feelings. People are always demanding something and expecting something for the smallest things in return. Nothing is done without ulterior motives and all have their own benefit in mind. It's all about power and money and doing everything for it, no matter how insidious or cold you have to be” started Louis to explain to a none-understanding Harry.</p><p>“But love doesn't work that way. Love is priceless. It's the most precious thing in the world but unfortunately also the rarest. More and more people aren't even trying to develop more feelings, because everyone says it doesn't help anyway. No one fights for it anymore and gives up on the smallest problem ... Yes, love is work, but once you've found that one person it is worth every bit of work. Then there is nothing more important. No cars, rings, clothes or houses, no job or reputation. Just this one person. Unfortunately, there are fewer and fewer people who are still holding on to this in our always cooler getting world. It's all about money, power and sex, maybe not for all but many. You're the perfect example for that” told Louis Harry and then he was completely out of breath. So much had accumulated over the last few years and Harry's stupid question had gotten it all out. He hadn't planned to say it all. A good way to be ridiculous</p><p>“Amen, Louis,” said Zayn impressed.</p><p>“Why should you sacrifice everything just to find that one person? What is so special about it? Instead, you can just take everything you can get” Harry still didn't understand.</p><p>“Sacrifice? Just unbelievable. You don't sacrifice anything. You're just waiting for the best that's ever going to happen to you” was Louis kinda fed up with Harry.</p><p>“That's so cheesy. Things are different in the real world, Shorty” contradicted Harry disbelievingly.</p><p>“Yes, because of people like you. Not everyone likes meaningless sex. Some people want more than that. They want that one person who is always by your side, no matter what” replied Niall annoyed.</p><p>“That person doesn't exist. Either the sex is good or not” shrugged Harry unbothered.</p><p>“So, you just try all the way through until you find the person that makes you come the best?” hissed Zayn disgusted.</p><p>“Exactly”.</p><p>“And there lies your error of reason” snorted Zayn totally annoyed.</p><p>“What do <em>you</em> know? You certainly never had sex. Clearly, you're looking for good excuses for that” snapped Harry at him.</p><p>“Then let <em>me </em>tell you that you're just blind to the basics” spoke Louis up, absolutely riled up by now.</p><p>“Oh and in which way, Shorty?”</p><p>“You can try forever, but you'll never experience what sex feels like when it's not meaningless. Of course, a lot of sex is great for you and you'll eventually find someone who is probably the best. But that's not worth anything compared to what you missed” reasoned Louis, feeling definitely weird about it.</p><p>“And you know that why?” smirked Harry at him.</p><p>“God, sex in a relationship is always better than without feelings. You decide not on ability, but on the feeling that it triggers in you. Without it, it's just fucking. That's what you do. But if it's love, you make love and that's the big difference you'll never understand. But nobody wants that either. Just accept that we don't see it the way you do and don't always blame us for not fucking around” groaned Niall annoyed and summed it all up again.</p><p>“I see it like Niall, Harry. Just let the topic rest. Food is ready” intervened Liam now.</p><p>“Are you saying you would never sleep with someone you don't love?” tried Harry to understand Niall's words.</p><p>“That's what I mean by that” nodded Niall exhausted.</p><p>“I would never have sex either with someone I don't like” mumbled Louis more to himself.</p><p>Now Harry looked wide-eyed at him and stared at Louis. The realization of what he had just said slipped into Louis' mind and he was getting very pale.</p><p>“If I'm in my right mind” added Louis hastily and blushed slightly</p><p>“Can we just eat now?” asked Liam pleadingly.</p><p>Without another word, they sat down at the table and began to eat, Zayn sitting next to Louis and smiling encouragingly at him. He knew how grim the subject was for him and leading a whole discussion about it, and then even with Harry, wasn't really easy for him. Zayn knew that this full moon night was still bothering Louis and he was constantly reminded of it in the worst ways. Harry didn't make it better. The moon had really done something terrible.</p><p>
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</p><p>---&gt;</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Guys, can you help me?” called Louis out of the direction of the stairs.</p><p>“Did you lock yourself under the stairs again?” called Zayn back questioningly.</p><p>“That was one time. And no, I just need a helping hand” groaned Louis infuriate.</p><p>“Too much information” chuckled Niall nastily.</p><p>“Niall!” exclaimed Louis.</p><p>“I didn't say anything”.</p><p>Liam got up and came to help Louis. “Thanks” thanked Louis him, glaring at Niall and Zayn.</p><p>“What are you even doing over there?” asked Zayn amused.</p><p>“I was looking for something for the younger twins” explained Louis curtly.</p><p>At that moment, the two came running down the stairs. “Have you found it?” asked Luna excitedly.</p><p>“Of course” grinned Louis proudly.</p><p>“Thanks, Loulou” was Luna pleased.</p><p>“Can I get some ice-cream?” asked Stella him with big puppy eyes and a pout.</p><p>“How can I say no to that?” laughed Louis, taking Stella in his arms. He carried her into the kitchen and had her look for an ice-cream. Zayn smiled at the sight. Was there anything more adorable than Louis with a child in his arms?</p><p>“Someone else wants ice cream, too” came Liam into the kitchen with Luna in his arm.</p><p>Zayn took back everything he ever said. Liam with a child in his arms was the sweetest and cutest sight he has ever seen in life. Although he didn't want to, he imagined Liam as a father. He would certainly shower his children with love, but still, be strict and prevail. He will be a great dad for sure.</p><p>Zayn shook himself once and tried to displace the resulting image. Looking around, he realized that he wasn't the only one looking at them in the kitchen. Harry was sitting next to him, his gaze fixed on the kitchen. If Zayn wasn't completely stupid, Harry was looking at Louis, who lovingly engaged with his sister.</p><p>“Mum will be back soon, so go upstairs. You've got everything you wanted now” ordered Louis to the two girls, who then disappeared smilingly upstairs.</p><p>“The two are very sweet” raved Liam.</p><p>“Yes, they are” smiled Louis lovingly.</p><p>“So, back to the show. The set-list is ready and everybody knows what to sing” clapped Niall into his hands to draw attention to him.</p><p>“Exactly, now we just have to rehearse until we drop” grinned Zayn over dramatically.</p><p>“There's a problem” noted Louis hesitantly.</p><p>“What problem?” Liam wanted to know, and everyone looked at Louis.</p><p>“I have training tomorrow and Friday for at least two hours,” told Louis them.</p><p>“Then drop it” shrugged Harry his shoulders.</p><p>“Great suggestion, Harold. Why didn't I come up with that on my own? Oh yeah, because it's completely stupid” replied Louis sassily. “I'm the coach. I can't just not go”.</p><p>“Well, you don't have the problem if you don't work unnecessarily,” said Harry uninvolved.</p><p>“Why am I even talking to you?” wondered Louis.</p><p>“We can think of something. Niall, why don't you work the whole week already? Were you fired during the holidays?” asked Liam sceptically.</p><p>“Should I be offended now?” raised Niall an eyebrow.</p><p>“Phil gave me the first week of school off so I can get back into the rhythm” explained Niall when Liam didn't answer.</p><p>“That fits perfectly” stated Liam.</p><p>“I have a similar problem. I have to work on Friday too and can't take a day off” informed Zayn them.</p><p>“Then we have to see that we rehearse after that. Oh, I got it. We'll make sure you're done on time” suggested Liam with bright eyes.</p><p>“And how?” Louis didn't understand.</p><p>“Tomorrow we'll just come to training and help you with the setup and later the tidying up, which saves time and on Friday we just split up” explained Liam his plan.</p><p>“That doesn't sound so stupid” had Niall to admit.</p><p>“You want me to help those at work? Good joke” grumbled Harry horrified.</p><p>“You're welcome to rehearse alone” looked Liam at him annoyed. Harry just crossed his arms and glared at him.</p><p>“Ouch, Harry. That looks almost painful” gasped Niall, pointing to a fresh Hickey on Harry's neck.</p><p>“I don't kiss and tell” smirked Harry smugly.</p><p>“Since when?” grimaced Zayn in disbelief.</p><p>“That explains why you weren't at lunch” cackled Niall and Harry's grin widened.</p><p>Louis' gaze fell from Harry's face to the Hickey and immediately images of the full moon night appeared again in his head. He tried to push them away, but he didn't succeed. He saw how he has given Harry an even bigger Hickey and how Harry has shuddered underneath him. He saw how Harry has enjoyed every second and felt the sensation chase through his body again. The effects of this he felt directly in his pants. The topic of Harry and sex should be avoided urgently. He didn't want to be constantly reminded. Hopefully the training tomorrow would clear his mind.</p>
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<a name="section0004"><h2>4. 12.2 A Greenish Monster</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>Zayn was waiting on the side-lines until all the kids had gathered. That he didn't know what that day and the training would bring made him nervous. He wasn't good with new situations. Louis welcomed all the girls and let them warm up for a few laps. While the girls were running Louis came up to them with another black-haired tall guy in tow.</p><p>“Guys, this is Sam. He's my co-trainer. He mainly trains the main adult team and helps me with the kids” introduced Louis him to his friends.</p><p>“Hey, Louis has already told me that you are here today to help him so you can rehearse later on. I would love to see your performance” he greeted them happily.</p><p>“Well, I'm sorry, but the party is only for students from our school,” told Harry him with an unreadable expression on his face.</p><p>“Nobody said that exactly” contradicted Louis him.</p><p>“It's a teachers’ farewell. You don't have to say that, Shorty” retorted Harry condescendingly.</p><p>“You must be Harry. You were here on Sunday instead of Jim” realised Sam.</p><p>“Smartass” hissed Harry.</p><p>“Just ignore the dickhead. This is Zayn” said Louis, pointing to Zayn. “And these are Liam and Niall”.</p><p>“Hey,” all three said in sync.</p><p>“Hey, I've heard a lot about you” greeted Sam the three friends.</p><p>“We also heard a lot about you” answered Liam and shook his hand.</p><p>“Funny, not me” pointed Harry out.</p><p>“Maybe it's because we tried to forget that you exist during the holidays” snapped Louis at him.</p><p>“Well, I figured two of you could come with me and the other two with Louis,” told Sam them his plan.</p><p>“Good idea” agreed Liam pleased.</p><p>“We start with a reaction warm-up” announced Louis as he walked back to the girls after they had finished warming up. Liam and Zayn helped Sam while Niall and Harry assisted Louis, or rather just Niall and Harry tried not to constantly comment on everything.</p><p>The girls made a circle with markers, one for each player. One circle with half the girls on Louis' side and one circle with the other half on Sam's side. Sam and Louis simply shouted out the instructions.</p><p>“2 left”</p><p>“3 right, 1 left”</p><p>“2 right, centre, 1 left”</p><p>First, they did it with sidesteps then turn and run. After each instruction they had them sit down. This way they got to practice getting on their feet quickly or get trampled.</p><p>After that, they did an exercise called <em>'Every step touch the ball</em>'. The girls had to dribble a football slowly in a defined area. Then they should try to touch the football with every step they take. On the command '<em>Go</em>', they had to leave their ball and find another. After trying this a few times Louis and Sam took one and then two balls away. The players who ended up without a ball had to run a lap around the activity area.</p><p>The next exercise was <em>Pass and Follow</em>. One girl in the centre of the circle passed to a player standing on the outside of the circle. She followed her pass and exchanged places with the player she passed to. That player then dribbled into the centre of the circle and passed to another player on the outside. They also tried to put half the players on the outside of the circle and half on the inside. The players on the inside looked to the players on the outside for a thrown-in ball, received it and one-touched it back. They varied the service so that the ball is thrown to feet, to thigh, to chest, to head.</p><p>For their first training with him, the girls were pretty good. Some of them he knew from the holiday training program like Cat or Ruth.</p><p>“So and now we're going to play a game at the end. We'll split you up into two teams and then you show us what you've learned” told Louis them.</p><p>While Sam and Louis were dividing the teams, Liam, Zayn and Harry cleared the markers and balls away. Niall stayed there and made the referee. While they were clearing the things, the first parents or siblings of the girls came and watched the end of the training.</p><p>“Harry, what are you doing here?” asked Jim as he spotted the boys.</p><p>“What does it look like?” snapped Harry at him.</p><p>“What he really wanted to say was that we're helping Louis today” smiled Liam at Jim.</p><p>“Definitely because of the gig, right?” suspected Jim.</p><p>“If you already know that, why are you asking?” asked Harry bitchy.</p><p>“Yes, because of the gig but we wanted to come to training for a long time anyway. Well, maybe not all at once” replied Liam, cutting off Harry.</p><p>“Ouch” moaned Zayn when there was a loud crash.</p><p>“I'll go help him” announced Liam lightly.</p><p>“Alright. I'll go closer to watch Ruth. See you later” said Jim goodbye.</p><p>Zayn rubbed his head and scrambled to his feet as Liam came into the equipment room. That was embarrassing for him.</p><p>“What happened?” Liam wanted to know grinningly.</p><p>“Err … I lost my balance and crashed into the shelf” admitted Zayn sheepishly.</p><p>“I'll never forget that sight” laughed Harry, standing in the doorway.</p><p>“Stop laughing and help us” growled Liam at him.</p><p>They were just clearing the shelves when a girl appeared in the room. “Hey, are you from the team?” she asked, looking directly at Liam.</p><p>“I'm everything you want” started Harry flirting directly, but she only rolled her eyes.</p><p>“Just for today. We're helping out” clarified Liam politely.</p><p>“Can one of you help me then?” she asked timidly.</p><p>“I'm a good problem solver” smirked Harry.</p><p>“God Harry, don't be so intrusive and leave the poor girl alone. I'll come with you. What's the problem?” offered Liam as he saw her almost frightened expression.</p><p>“Is she really going with him? Was I not clear enough?” asked Harry confused as the two left the room.</p><p>“You know, some people are not into intrusive guys” commented Zayn, cleaning up the rest.</p><p>After the two were finished with the rough, they closed the door and saw how Niall was running like a madman over the field and tried to keep the girls from fouling. That was a beautiful sight. But Zayn's gaze shifted to Liam and this girl talking on the side-lines. He saw Liam laughing with her and she seemed to have fun. He wanted to know what the two were talking about. The two were too close to each other for Zayn's liking. And could she stop touching Liam's arm all the time? Can't she talk to him normally? Why was she doing that?</p><p>“Are you jealous?” whispered Harry teasingly against his ear.</p><p>“Me? Jealous? Certainly not” crossed Zayn his arms.</p><p>“Very convincing. If looks could kill, she'd be lying on the floor in pain, screaming” laughed Harry quietly.</p><p>“What does it concern you? Even if I was jealous, I wouldn't talk to you about it. Liam can talk to whoever he wants” defended Zayn himself, but he didn't believe his own words.</p><p>“Whatever you say. I don't care” shrugged Harry and looked at the whole thing amused.</p><p>Zayn ignored Harry's words and looked over at Liam. No, he was not jealous. That just couldn't be. He just had to ... Did she just touch him again? Oh, that was too much. This girl was going to die. Without thinking about it, Zayn went over to them and interrupted the conversation.</p><p>“I'm sorry I need to bother, but Louis wanted something from you, Liam. Immediately” lied Zayn, because he couldn't think of anything better.</p><p>“Oh, of course. Unfortunately, I have to go but it was nice talking to you” said Liam goodbye to the girl and ran over to Louis.</p><p><em>Oh God, Louis.</em> If Liam talked to him now, Zayn's lie would fly up. He should book a flight to China directly.</p><p>“That could be funny” commented Harry, following Zayn.</p><p>“Save your comments” growled Zayn at him.</p><p>“Um, you're his friend right?” the girl cleared her throat.</p><p>“Yes, why?” he asked coolly.</p><p>“Can you give him my number? He was gone so fast” she asked shyly, handing Zayn a small piece of paper. Zayn only nodded slightly and didn't understand the world anymore.</p><p>“Thank you” she rejoiced and walked a few steps away from them.</p><p>Zayn looked at the piece of paper in his hand and without thinking twice, he just tore it up and threw it away.</p><p>“Not jealous at all” chuckled Harry.</p><p>“Shut up” hissed Zayn, looking over at Louis and Liam. Liam had just reached him.</p><p>“Louis, you asked for me?” asked Liam obliviously.</p><p>“What?” Louis didn't understand.</p><p>“Zayn said you needed me” explained Liam shortly.</p><p>“Oh yeah, sure ... Um ... Can you pick up the colourful ribbons of the teams? Then Sam and I can finish the practice” Louis quickly improvised and looked over at Zayn, who was pleading silently. He nodded to him and Zayn understood directly. Louis didn't expose him. Relieved, Zayn exhaled and relaxed again.</p><p>“That was close. Your luck Louis got so fast that you screwed up” remarked Harry.</p><p>“Having you as a friend is truly a gift” replied Zayn sarcastically.</p><p>“I know”.</p><p>“I can't stand it anymore” went Zayn away, just letting Harry standing there.</p><p>He walked over to Liam and helped him collect everything. By now all parents were there and the training was over. Liam and Zayn quickly cleared the colourful ribbons and then went back to Louis, who was talking to a girl.</p><p>“Does one of you know who that is?” asked Niall excitedly as he ran to Liam and Zayn.</p><p>“No, I don't know. I've never seen her before” answered Zayn puzzled.</p><p>“She looks nice” commented Liam as he looked at her.</p><p>“Not that nice” murmured Zayn softly.</p><p>“She's just nice as long as she thinks she could get in his pants,” remarked Harry, not taking his eyes off Louis and the girl.</p><p>“Not everyone is like you” objected Niall.</p><p>“Maybe, but she checks him out all the time. It's fun to watch” shrugged Harry.</p><p>Now Zayn looked more closely. Harry was probably right. She was clearly laughing too much and too fakely and played too much with her hair as she talked, but Louis didn't seem to notice or skilfully ignored it. One thing Zayn especially noticed. This girl was constantly touching Louis as well, just like this cow from earlier. The thought made him slightly pissed. Liam and Niall sat on the bench to talk until they were done, but Zayn couldn't help but pay Harry back. He came closer to him and followed his gaze. He was still looking at Louis and this cow.</p><p>“Who is jealous now?” whispered Zayn amused and grinned mischievously.</p><p>“I don't know what you're talking about. I just think it's fascinating how little she gets that he's not interested. She is trying so hard, but unfortunately, in vain. Well, she just doesn't have a dick. Sorry, Little One” denied Harry any kind of jealousy.</p><p>“Sounds like jealousy to me” Zayn didn't let up.</p><p>“You have to know” shot Harry back.</p><p>“Louis is a God. Ruth doesn't stop talking about him” interrupted Jim them as he came out of the locker room with his sister.</p><p>“That's Louis for you” laughed Zayn proudly.</p><p>“If Louis is her first crush, I can live with it. No one could be better” clarified Jim.</p><p>“Living with what?” asked Louis when he came over to them.</p><p>“I don't know how you do that, but the kids idolize you” Jim enthused.</p><p>“You exaggerate” blushed Louis.</p><p>“I would never do that” chuckled Jim happily.</p><p>“Hello, Coach Louis” grinned Ruth up at him.</p><p>“Well, did you like the training?” knelt Louis down to her.</p><p>“Yes, it was great” she nodded satisfied.</p><p>“I'm so glad you're in the team now. We had a lot of fun during the holidays, didn't we?”</p><p>“A lot of fun” she confirmed brightly.</p><p>“You see. She never beams at me like that” pointed Jim out.</p><p>“Maybe she just doesn't like your face,” remarked Harry.</p><p>“A true sunshine you are, Harry” snorted Zayn annoyed.</p><p>“I prefer to call myself Moon. Mysterious and dangerous” joked Harry.</p><p>“Whatever you say”.</p><p>“Let him be the moon. The sun is someone else anyway” pointed Jim to Louis.</p><p>“You're right about that”</p><p>“About what?” Louis wanted to know, who was still being held by Ruth.</p><p>“Not so important, Sunshine” winked Zayn at him.</p><p>Harry crossed his arms and turned to look at Louis and Ruth. “Possible” he murmured barely audible.</p><p>“I have to say goodbye” sighed Louis out, whereupon Ruth looked at him sadly. “Now don't look like that. I'll see you next week” he cheered her up and immediately she was beaming again.</p><p>“Yes, a sunshine” Jim decided now.</p><p>“You are impossible” snorted Louis and said goodbye to get his things.</p><p>“We have to leave, too. See you at school and I'm looking forward to your performance” smiled Jim at them.</p><p>“Thank you, hopefully, everything will be fine” doubted Zayn insecurely.</p><p>“Everything will be fine” assured Jim him.</p><p>“Of course. We'll do well. You have me after all” bragged Harry self-lovingly.</p><p>“You can only hope your modesty will turn to him over time. Doesn't matter, I'll go” sighed Jim and Zayn nodded his approval and went to Liam and Niall.</p><p>Jim turned back to Harry one more time. “I don't know how you did it, but I hope you know how lucky you are”.</p><p>“What do you mean?” asked Harry uninterestedly.</p><p>“If I were in their place, I would never forgive you or at least, not so fast and without proof that you are serious. These guys are really special. I hope you know that” he enlightened Harry.</p><p>“But you weren't in their place” Harry merely answered.</p><p>“Unbelievable. I hope you learn to appreciate the boys and don't disappoint them. They are my friends and I defend my friends, remember that. I have nothing against you, but don't screw it up” warned Jim him.</p><p>“I don't plan on doing that, but thanks for the warning” Harry didn't take him seriously.</p><p>“You just don't deserve it” turned Jim away from him.</p><p>“Is he a friend of Coach Louis?” Ruth wanted to know curiously.</p><p>“Something like that. Maybe they will become friends” he answered vaguely.</p><p>“Don't pretend you're perfect” grumbled Harry annoyed.</p><p>“It's not about me, Harry. It's about you and the boys. Even little kids doubt your friendship. That should make you think because they see things we don't notice” snapped Jim at him almost angrily.</p><p>“Was that all?” asked Harry bored.</p><p>“No, one more thing”.</p><p>“And that would be?” groaned Harry.</p><p>“Louis” was all Jim answered.</p><p>“What about him?” frowned Harry confused.</p><p>“He is very special. An angel without wings could be said. You don't deserve him the way you behave, but I'll tell you anyway, even if you don't understand it now and maybe never will. The one who's leaving him must be really stupid or crazy. He is a keeper for life” gave Jim him on the way mysteriously.</p><p>“What do you mean by that?” called Harry after him as he left.</p><p>“You have to find out yourself” he shouted back and then disappeared.</p><p>Harry stood there and didn't understand one word. Why did everybody tell him he doesn't deserve these boys? They weren't that special. Every day in school someone told him that. And what did Jim mean by Louis is a keeper? Why should that matter to Harry? Why was everybody acting like it still mattered what he did? He hadn't done anything that bad.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>---&gt;</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Why should I wait? If I don't eat right now I fall dead on the spot” whined Niall, staring impatiently at his food.</p><p>“Because we always wait for everyone” reminded Zayn him and tapped his forehead.</p><p>“You will survive a few more minutes”.</p><p>“No, Louis. I won't!” protested Niall, pretending to die.</p><p>“You're such a drama queen” shook Louis his head at his friend.</p><p>“See, there is Liam finally” pointed Zayn towards the door.</p><p>When they all looked over they smiled joyously, but then their smiles disappeared in less than a second and were replaced with deep frowns and confusion. “Why is Harry with him?” frowned Zayn.</p><p>“Maybe they just ran into each other?” sought Niall a justification.</p><p>“Yeah, sure” snorted Louis.</p><p>Niall looked back at Liam, who was getting his food and then said goodbye to Harry and walked towards them.</p><p>“Sorry I'm so late” apologized Liam as he sat down at the table.</p><p>“What did you want from Harry?” came Zayn straight to the point.</p><p>“We just talked. We have Maths together in case you forgot that” said Liam simply.</p><p>“In the past, you didn't talk to him anyway” noted Zayn moody.</p><p>“Things used to be different in the old days, Zayn. It's the past” replied Liam unbothered.</p><p>Saying they were shocked by the answer was an understatement. Niall was of the opinion that they shouldn't be vindictive and unforgiving, but that was really radical.</p><p>“I really don't understand you, Liam” shook Zayn his head blankly.</p><p>“Come on, let the past rest. It happened, yes, but it won't happen again. That's over” urged Liam them.</p><p>“You don't know that, Liam. He has pulled that stunt off before, have you forgotten that?” reminded Niall him.</p><p>“No, I didn't. But I want to give him a new chance and I think you should do that too” explained Liam unbothered.</p><p>“I really can't think of anything to say anymore”.</p><p>“Zayn …”</p><p>“Let it be” cut Zayn him off and started eating.</p><p>“I think we should bring him to our table” blurted Liam out.</p><p>“What?” Zayn and Louis asked shocked at the same time.</p><p>“Just listen to me for a moment,” asked Liam of them.</p><p>“Forget it”.</p><p>“You can't be so naïve”</p><p>“Liam, I have to agree with both of them. You just want too much on one occasion” Niall had to admit.</p><p>“But why? He's with us every day anyway” Liam didn't understand.</p><p>“But because he has to and not because we want to” reminded Niall him of the circumstances.</p><p>“The reason doesn't matter. He's always everywhere anyway. And besides, he's otherwise all alone” reasoned Liam his wish.</p><p>“Oh really? That looks different” pointed Zayn to Harry's table.</p><p>He wasn't sitting alone at his table. There were countless girls around him, all of whom worshipped him. And instead of being annoyed, he seemed to enjoy it. Alone definitely looked different and somehow Niall wasn’t really surprised either.</p><p>“Well, you were worried for nothing. He's in good company” commented Zayn on the scene.</p><p>“But he looks pretty annoyed. We should rescue him from the situation” decided Liam and was about to get up.</p><p>“Whoa, calm down. Where does he look annoyed please?” held Zayn him back.</p><p>“Look at his face” pointed Liam to him.</p><p>“Just as annoying as before” shrugged Zayn.</p><p>“He probably just looks annoyed because he's used to being surrounded by damn rich girls, but since the beginning of the week he's been flirted with by all the girls, and he's probably just disgusted that even girls from a lower class are watching him flirty. When you lower your standards …” described Niall the scene in front of them and rolled his eyes.</p><p>Zayn clapped his hands in surprise. “Wow, the crippled brain can say something right”.</p><p>“Did someone steal your hairspray this morning or why are you such a lousy pecker?” had Niall enough of Zayn's bad mood.</p><p>“Oh, I have no idea where that could come from” spat Zayn sarcastically.</p><p>“Joey, please. You don't have to marry him but pull yourself together a bit. Please, for me?” pleaded Louis at him with wide eyes.</p><p>“Fine” crossed Zayn his arms and pouted but didn't say a word.</p><p>“Can we talk about something else now?” implored Louis his friends and poked around in his food.</p><p>“Everything alright?” asked Liam worriedly.</p><p>“Yes, everything's alright. Only these talks about Harry get on my nerves. Especially if it's always just about that. I'd like to think of something else” answered Louis desperately.</p><p>Guilty, Niall closed his eyes and put his hand on Louis'. “I'm so sorry. I didn't think about that”.</p><p>“It's alright, Nialler. I don't want you to have to constantly take that into account. It's just ... oh, doesn't matter” trailed Louis off.</p><p>“No, that does matter. What is it, Louis?” checked Niall concerned.</p><p>Louis dropped his fork and sighed heavily, rubbing his hands over his face. “Whenever we keep talking about this, I always have to think about it again. This crappy full moon night just doesn't get out of my mind. I don't want to think about it all the time. I never know what could trigger it, but it keeps coming back into my thoughts, no matter where I am or what I do. It's fucking everywhere. I don't want to see it in front of me again and again, hear it in my head or feel that shitty feeling again, because unfortunately I do that every time. To have him around me all the time and to have such topics of conversation only makes it worse. I want to be able to close that chapter. It's unfair that only I still feel shitty. It makes me feel uncomfortable. Harry is dead to me in that way. It should stop” revealed Louis to them.</p><p>“I'm sorry, Louis. I didn't want to achieve that” apologised Niall ashamed.</p><p>“That's not your fault, Niall. It just came up again. I don't need pity. I just want it to stop” assured Louis him.</p><p>“Maybe you should turn the tables” suggested Niall suddenly.</p><p>“What do you mean?” Louis didn't understand.</p><p>“Well, to our dear Harry nothing is more important than his damn reputation and he loves women. We all know that. He always rubs it under our nose. But do you remember how he said he would do everything that nobody would know about it? Sorry that I mention it again” began Niall to clarify what he really meant.</p><p>“What are you referring to?” Louis wanted to know curiously.</p><p>“Make him feel uncomfortable like he does it with you. It's just that you have more control over it” came Niall to the point.</p><p>“But how am I supposed to do that?” wondered Louis interested.</p><p>“I'm just saying two words” grinned Niall, wiggling his eyebrows. “Sexual innuendos”.</p><p>“Niall, that is genius. That'll be so uncomfortable for him, our little Mister 1000 % straight” gave Zayn Niall a high five.</p><p>“That might work” pondered Louis thoughtfully.</p><p>“No one could do that better than you, sassy King” patted Zayn him on the shoulder.</p><p>“And you say Harry is bad? This is cruel” intervened Liam in horror.</p><p>“Liam, this is just a means to an end to make Louis feel better and for Harry to pull himself together or even better, to understand what he's done because he hasn't until today,” told Niall him again. “We will not exaggerate. After all, we're talking about Louis”.</p><p>“You know what you just said?” looked Liam at him crookedly.</p><p>“That will work” assured Zayn him.</p><p>“I'll bring him over now whether you like it or not” proclaimed Liam but Zayn stopped him again.</p><p>“Don't do that to yourself. Just give him a hand signal and then he can decide for himself if he wants to come” stopped Zayn him.</p><p>“Aye, Zayn. That's what I didn't want to know” laughed Niall like a maniac.</p><p>“That starts off well” sighed Liam and turned to Harry, giving him a hand signal and Harry actually came over to them.</p><p>“Hey” he greeted them and sat down between Liam and Louis. “Thanks for letting me sit here”.</p><p>“Sure” smiled Liam at him. The other three preferred to focus on their food.</p><p>“And was it hard without me?” asked Harry jokingly.</p><p>That was the perfect opportunity Niall thought. He hoped Louis would take advantage of that.</p><p>“Oh yes, very hard. Wasn't it, Zayn?” sighed Louis dramatically and looked with big eyes at Zayn.</p><p>“Pretty damn hard. Thanks, Louis” played Zayn along and put his hand on Louis' arm with a wink.</p><p>“But not as hard as with you” turned Louis his head back to Harry, rubbing his thigh against Harry's.</p><p>Thereupon Harry said nothing more but shifted back and forth nervously and cleared his throat conspicuously. Niall could barely suppress his laughter. It was a masterpiece and it had just begun. Hopefully, Harry would stop with his crap near Louis through this.</p><p>Liam then started to talk to Harry while the others were eating their food with relish. Just before the break ended, Louis' phone vibrated and he pulled it out. The others looked at him curiously.</p><p>“Don't you have your own life?” he grinned and read the message.</p><p>“Who's Sabrina?” asked Zayn curiously.</p><p>“The girl I talked to yesterday” explained Louis casually as he answered.</p><p>“She has your number?” asked Niall in shock.</p><p>“Yes, why not?” shrugged Louis.</p><p>“Because she totally checked you out, but you don't want anything from her? Or am I wrong?” Zayn wanted to know.</p><p>“Of course not, that's what she should have noticed on Sunday already. Why are you even texting with her, Shorty?” threw Harry in before Louis could answer.</p><p>“That's none of your business at all. Stop acting like we're friends, we’re not! You're just here because of Liam. If it was up to me, you wouldn't be here. So don't interfere. I text with whom I want” snapped Louis annoyed but immediately regretted it.</p><p>Zayn ran his hand over Louis' back while Liam tried to focus Harry's attention on something else, but it didn't work. Niall didn't know exactly what he should do. He probably would have reacted similarly. Harry behaved as if they were all friends, but that wasn't the case. He had to prove himself first, but he simply didn't understand that. And nothing will change until then. Even when he looked at Louis all the time, but Louis tried not to look at him. Harry didn't make any sense.</p><p>And that was also the end of the break. To a terrible training and a hopefully good performance.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. 13.1 Oportunidad</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>With full bucket in hand, Zayn made his way to the dolphin pool. The nervousness of the full moon, he tried to push aside and concentrate fully on his job. That was easier said than done. The dolphins, who he had to look after today because his co-worker was sick, jumped happily through the water as he arrived. Drops of water fell on the dock and immediately he felt a hand on his arm, pulling him backwards.</p><p>“Careful, Zayn” warned Liam him overcautiously.</p><p>“I'll take care, Liam. I'm not doing this for the first time” answered Zayn slightly annoyed.</p><p>“I know, but you really have to be careful, especially today” reminded Liam him like a teacher.</p><p>“As I said, I know what I'm doing” grumbled Zayn and started feeding the dolphins.</p><p>He loved Liam with everything in him, but sometimes he was just too much for him. Liam could be so damn overprotective and very overcautious, though there was no reason to. Zayn had had this job for a while and he knew how to avoid the water here inconspicuously. Liam didn't have to treat him like a baby, but that was exactly what he was doing. Liam took the pliers from Zayn's hand, picked up the bucket and went over to the dolphins.</p><p>“Just let me do it. That's safer” he said, not even waiting for an answer from Zayn.</p><p>Slowly but surely, Liam's control went too far. Growling, Zayn sat down at the edge and decided to stop saying anything and just let him do it. Watching him, Zayn could try to calm himself and not go nuts. It was really hard to be angry with your crush.</p><p>After feeding, the two made their way to Zayn's souvenir stand, which he had to take over sometimes now and opened the sale. But again, Liam had to intervene and meddle. He tried to take all the work out of his hands, which was ridiculous because you could hardly get wet and Zayn had done this work for a while. He tried to breathe calmly and counted in his head. Counted to calm down. Everything so that he wouldn't yell at Liam.</p><p>“Why is Kida not here at all? It's another full moon again. Wouldn't she have to reappear and give us some advice we don't understand? I mean, to prevent the last night from repeating. No one wants that to happen to you” panicked Liam out of nowhere.</p><p>“Liam, what crap are you talking about? She's not a dog that comes on command just because we want to. And could you stop talking so unfairly about last time? That was really hard for him and it still is, and you know that” said Zayn quickly.</p><p>“I didn't mean it pejorative, but I think it didn't have to happen. Somehow I think there might be more ..”.</p><p>“What?! Are you saying he wanted that to happen?” cut Zayn him off in stunned silence.</p><p>“I didn't say that”.</p><p>“But hinted”.</p><p>“I just mean, why would the moon want to force something like that?” raised Liam concerns.</p><p>“Do you hear what you're saying? Do you realize that we're still talking about Louis? Our Louis, who has entrusted us with things that make him uncomfortable and feel ashamed? Louis, who has kind of a sex trauma?! And then you say he could have done it voluntarily, out of all people? Louis, who was completely done with his life after that. And then with Harry? And what do you think for what? So Harry kills him after it? You know how Harry reacted to that” snapped Zayn furiously at him and grew louder with each word. He just couldn't believe what Liam had said. Not after everything he knew.</p><p>Liam looked at him in horror. This was the first time Zayn had spoken out loud against him. Neither of them believed that would ever happen.</p><p>“I don't know. I'm sorry. I try to make sense out of all of this. Niall's full moon was so different, and I just want to understand this. Especially to be able to protect you today so that doesn't happen to you” mumbled Liam sheepishly.</p><p>“Why me?” Zayn didn't understand.</p><p>“Niall and I are assuming it will hit you today if we're not careful. It's such a feeling” admitted Liam.</p><p>“Just because I'm the only one who has been spared so far? Great reason” grunted Zayn while rolling his eyes.</p><p>“That's a serious thing, Zayn,” told Liam him again with that controlling undertone.</p><p>“I know that, Liam. You don't always have to remind me of that” snapped Zayn at him again. “It's not the worst thing to make out during the full moon, but only if it's not with Harry”.</p><p>Liam looked at him, shaking his head, but didn't say another word. He looked almost hurt. But should Zayn just accept everything and get commanded? He was already stressed enough without Liam's extra pressure.</p><p>After selling a stuffed turtle to a little boy, Liam came closer to him but didn't look him in the eye. Zayn didn't like the tension between them. He had to do something right now before it was too late and it became awkward between them.</p><p>“I'm sorry I snapped at you. It was just too much and just the possibility of wasting a thought about Louis wanting that makes me angry. I was there when he remembered and I saw the reaction. Sheer horror. He wanted to burst out into tears. I just cannot ... “.</p><p>“Zayn, it's alright. I understand that. I shouldn't have said that; not even think that for a second. That you defend him in that way is honourable, even if it was against me” interrupted Liam him shamefully.</p><p>“He's my friend. I would do anything for him. But the same goes for you, and you know that” assured Zayn him.</p><p>“I know, Zayn” smiled Liam at him.</p><p>For a while, the souvenir sales went really well and Zayn could hardly even breathe. Which was good, because he couldn't say anything wrong. He still had the feeling there was something unspoken hanging above them in the air but that was stupid. Right?</p><p>When the two had a moment of peace, Liam turned slightly nervous around to Zayn. Confused, Zayn looked at him.</p><p>“Can I ask you something?” listened Liam carefully.</p><p>“Sure, everything you want” answered Zayn as relaxed as possible but was totally tense. What could he want to know?</p><p>“I've been thinking about it for a while, but then all those things happened and then I was gone and now we always had rehearsals” was Liam rambling.</p><p>“Spill it out” demanded Zayn impatiently.</p><p>“On our DVD night when we were playing Truth or Dare, Harry asked you who your crush is and you didn't want to tell him. Since then I can't get it out of my head. I know you didn't want to tell him because you have one. But why do I not know about it? I thought we were telling each other everything. Do you not trust me anymore?” came Liam finally to the point.</p><p>Zayn had to swallow hard. He had hoped so much Liam would have forgotten about that. That was so long ago, but of course, he had to address it when nobody expected it anymore.</p><p>“Of course I trust you, Liam” assured Zayn him directly.</p><p>“Why didn't you tell me? I saw Louis' face that evening. He knows who it is. Why does he know it and not me?” Liam wanted to know visibly hurt.</p><p>“It was a coincidence. I didn't even know that he knew it until this point. Apparently, it was obvious to him. When he told me about something with Harry, the subject of crushes also came up, but that wasn't planned. It's not important either because it's over and was never worth mentioning” tried Zayn to save himself. In the end, he told the truth. Nearly.</p><p>“Who was it?” was the only thing Liam wanted to know.</p><p>“Liam. Zayn. Hey,” a voice called before Zayn could even think of an excuse.</p><p>“Hey, Kida. I thought you had your day off today” greeted Zayn her.</p><p>“I have but my friend here wanted to visit the dolphins while she's here, so I came back” explained Kida to him and pointed at her red-headed friend next to her.</p><p>“Hi, I'm Hope” reached her friend her hand out for Zayn to shake.</p><p>“Hi, nice to meet you” shook Zayn her hand.</p><p>“Boys, you look stressed. Is there something I should know? Do you have a plan for tonight?” frowned Kida when she noticed the boys faces.</p><p>“It's all good” waved Zayn the matter off.</p><p>“Liam, your face is telling me that's a lie. Tell me the truth” turned Kida to Liam.</p><p>“We have a gig tonight and we're worried something might go wrong” admitted Liam without a problem.</p><p>“Ah, I see”.</p><p>“I'm sure Kida already told you the moon isn't your enemy, right?” asked Hope. Both boys just nodded. “Good. I don't really know you yet, but Kida told me about you. Just remember that the moon is there to help you. Sometimes it makes no sense at first but in the end it does. Always”.</p><p>“I'm not sure about this” voiced Zayn doubts, thinking about Louis' full moon.</p><p>“There are times the moon does things to hint at parts of your powers you haven't noticed yet. Never think he does that to harm you. Open your minds and try to find the meaning behind it” advised Hope them.</p><p>“Hidden parts of our powers?” checked Zayn intrigued.</p><p>Kida nodded. “You remember Niall's full moon? There was a hint, but he didn't get it yet. I'd love to just tell you, but magic doesn't work that way. Some things you have to find out on your own”.</p><p>“Of course. Why easy when there is a complicated way?!” huffed Zayn.</p><p>“Don't lose hope. We'll talk afterwards” smiled Kida at him and then left with Hope. Zayn and Liam just shared a confused look. What was all this about?</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>---&gt;</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Gradually, Louis had lost his temper. The boys were there to help with the training and not to drive him crazy, but that was exactly what Harry was doing all the time. He snapped at Sam on every occasion, ignored the kids or tried to avoid any kind of work. Useless standing around in the area he could do somewhere else. Niall, on the other hand, assisted Sam as if he had never done anything else. It was nice to see Niall deal with the kids. So loving and respectful. Quite different than Harry. His attitude annoyed Louis totally, but he tried to fade it out and ignore Harry's eyes on him all the time.</p><p>Yes, Louis was a coach and worked even though he went to school, but he enjoyed it and he could teach these kids something. Where was Harry's problem? Of course, Louis knew that Harry was overly rich and liked to brag about it, but did he have to disapprove of everything that involved even a tad bit of work? What was so bad about getting your hands dirty and doing something instead of just waiting to take over Daddy's business? Louis would never understand that, but he'd like to, just to understand Harry better and maybe lighten up the whole situation.</p><p>For the remaining twenty minutes, the kids played a free game to try out their new techniques. It was the first practice after the holidays. Louis was always a little more gracious and gentle.</p><p>“Hey Jonno, you're being stared” grinned Niall, indicating the field.</p><p>Louis didn't have to look who he meant. He knew it too well. He had hoped the holidays would have changed that. Well, wrong thought.</p><p>“That's Thomas. He never lets me out of his eyes. It can be unbearable sometimes” sighed Louis overstrained.</p><p>“The kid has a crush on him” chuckled Sam and Louis punched him in the shoulder.</p><p>“That's not funny” hissed Louis madly.</p><p>“Why? It's cute” cackled Niall.</p><p>“He's only twelve” groaned Louis in despair.</p><p>“You don't have to eat him right away for breakfast” noted Niall jokingly.</p><p>“Niall!” exclaimed Louis in horror.</p><p>“Naww does our Shorty now have a paedophile streak?!” mocked Harry him.</p><p>“I'll pretend I did not hear that” shook Louis his head.</p><p>“What's the problem? Just make it clear to him that it's hopeless” shrugged Sam.</p><p>“Great suggestion, Sam. Great” clapped Louis into his hands.</p><p>“Not the best idea” agreed Niall meekly.</p><p>“Short and painless. It couldn't be better” marked Sam neutrally.</p><p>“I have to agree with the hippie,” said Harry sheepishly.</p><p>“That was clear once again” commented Louis, looking back and forth between the two. “You really don't get it. He's only twelve. This could be his first crush. No matter what I do, it will shape him and could be the key to future crushes and relationships”.</p><p>“Aren't you overdoing something? It's just a crush, not the end of the world” raised Harry an eyebrow at him.</p><p>“It was clear that you don't understand that” rolled Louis his eyes.</p><p>“Louis is right. It may not seem important now, but such moments shape a person and every little moment can have serious consequences if you're not careful. It's good that he wants to be so gentle. Remember your first crush?” supported Niall him and looked at the two expectantly.</p><p>“Never had one” replied Harry bored.</p><p>“That's a shock” stated Louis sarcastically.</p><p>“Mh, you two are right. I remember that too well. Maybe it would have done me better if it had been nicer” admitted Sam thoughtfully.</p><p>“So much drama just because of little feelings. It's not worth it. Just end it. In a few years, he will understand that feelings are overrated” marked Harry coldly.</p><p>“So, one of you has an idea besides Harry?” asked Louis his friends.</p><p>“Not really, but he doesn't stop looking at you” pointed Niall with his head to the field. Niall and Sam almost looked at him worriedly as Harry stuffed his hands into his trouser pockets and grimaced. What did that mean now?</p><p>“Well, dumb you don't have a boyfriend. Otherwise, you could’ve dumped him nicely” shrugged Sam.</p><p><em>Thank you for reminding me of how lonely I am.</em> Great, now Louis felt even worse than before.</p><p>“Sam, you're awesome” Niall suddenly blurted out.</p><p>“What did I say?” he didn't understand.</p><p>“Exactly, except to remind me of how shitty my life is” pouted Louis.</p><p>“First of all, your life isn't shitty. Secondly, one of us will pretend to be your boyfriend. Like this, you can gently tell him that it's never going to happen. Then you'll put him down, but for a good reason” explained Niall his master plan.</p><p>“That's not a bad idea” had Sam to admit.</p><p>“Alright, but who?” asked Louis invested.</p><p>“He knows me too well and he'd know right away that it's a lie” noted Sam logically.</p><p>“Well, and Harry here would be the last one to be believable. So I'll sacrifice myself, Jonno” exhaled Niall dramatically.</p><p>“How very noble of you” played Louis along.</p><p>“I could have done that” grumbled Harry, causing all three to look at him in disbelief.</p><p>“Sure, Harry. Because you can be so convincingly gay without the disgust being seen miles away” derided Niall him.</p><p>“So bad? Now I know why you stopped mentioning him at some point” stated Sam as he looked at Louis, who blushed slightly.</p><p>“It's not that bad” huffed Harry.</p><p>“Just give it up, or should I remind you what insults you've already thrown at Zayn and Louis? I'll do it, let alone for security reasons” snapped Niall at him.</p><p>“Niall” rolled Louis his eyes and felt funny. Sure, Niall was right but gradually they could just stop telling Harry over and over again. That did nothing anyway. He would never understand.</p><p>“Then warm up, training is over. I'll bet he comes right over, be convincing” said Sam to cut the tension.</p><p>“I'll get it” grinned Niall and slapped Louis on the ass, which made him jump up slightly because it came so unexpectedly and other stuff.</p><p>“I see” smirked Sam.</p><p>“We already had the subject, Nialler. My ass is mine, so stay away” admonished Louis him tried playfully.</p><p>“Not today” laughed Niall and put his arm around Louis' shoulders.</p><p>“You can do whatever you want as long as you don't kiss me” tried Louis to relax.</p><p>“Meh, that's what I wanted to do. You destroyed my plan. That was my <span>oportunitad</span>” whined Niall.</p><p>“What on earth is an <span>oportunitad</span>?” chuckled Louis amused.</p><p>“Be quiet, British Boy. Your accent is even less understandable” grumbled Niall offended.</p><p>“That wasn't an accent thing” grinned Louis smugly.</p><p>“Aye, just two minutes and already the first marriage crisis. If that plan works” interjected Harry.</p><p>“You couldn't do it better” countered Niall pissy.</p><p>“Sure, Niall?”.</p><p>“Let's go, Jonno. Your kids are waiting” ignored Niall Harry.</p><p>Louis didn't say a word and put a hand around Niall's waist. They already looked like a couple. He felt Harry's gaze on him and that made him really nervous. Niall's idea was good, but it would’ve been better if Harry wasn't there. It would certainly be easier to play a couple without the gaze of a homophobe who always pursued you. Couldn't Harry pretend for five minutes that it was alright for him? That friendship he wanted to force wouldn't work out that way.</p><p>“Well, that's it for today. Go change. Your parents are almost here” finished Louis the training while Sam started picking up the balls. As expected, Thomas approached him.</p><p>“Coach Louis, can I ask you something?” he squeezed out.</p><p>“Of course” smiled Louis at him and felt Niall's grip tighten.</p><p>“Oh, um, I ... who is that?” cleared Thomas his throat.</p><p>“That's Niall. He's ..”.</p><p>“I'm his boyfriend” finished Niall, overly beaming, Louis' sentence.</p><p>Louis could clearly see the disappointment in Thomas' face, but he had to do something. The little one should be able to fall for someone else, but the old crush had to disappear first. Louis knew that only too well. He wished it had been so harmless on him.</p><p>“Oh, that's great. I'm glad to meet you. You have a really great boyfriend” replied Thomas finally.</p><p>“You're right. Louis is really special” agreed Niall brightly.</p><p>“Please, stop or I'll be red” wanted Louis to silence the two boys.</p><p>“Naww, is that embarrassing, Love?” cooed Niall, kissing Louis unexpectedly on the cheek. Louis tried not to show the shock, but he was definitely bright red in the face.</p><p>Niall probably noticed Louis' condition and also Thomas' facial expression because he leaned down and smiled at him. “I'm sure you also find someone as great as my Loulou. You seem to be really nice and if I wasn't with him, you'd probably have an <span>oportunitad</span> with him”.</p><p>“Thanks, I hope so. Take good care of him. If I see you hurting him I'll finish you” grinned Thomas and Niall just laughed and assured him to treat Louis well.</p><p>“But what on earth is an <span>oportunitad</span>?” Thomas wanted to know what made Louis laugh out loud.</p><p>“That's your bad influence” complained Niall and crossed his arms.</p><p>“Naww, don't be offended, Honey. I love your accent and you mixing up languages” assured Louis him.</p><p>“Really something special” commented Thomas amused.</p><p>“You're right, Thomas” agreed Niall cheerfully.</p><p>“You can meet up at the café to rave about Louis, but I think your parents are waiting, Smally” interrupted Harry the two pretty harsh and Louis wondered what his problem was. Then he remembered the kiss. Oh well. Of course, Harry couldn't suppress his disgust.</p><p>As Harry turned away, Thomas looked at Niall. “Just watch out. Someone is jealous” he warned Niall and then walked to the locker room.</p><p>Niall and Louis watched him speechless and wondered what had just happened. Harry? Jealous? Ha, good joke. It was obvious that he was only twelve. He had no idea how things were going. Well, Harry looked very oddly at the moment and had just interrupted and stared at them all the time, but other people did that too when they saw gay people in the street before they cursed them.</p><p>Before Louis could think about it again his cell phone vibrated. He quickly got it out and saw a message from Zayn.</p><p>“Did you also get a message from him?” asked Niall curiously.</p><p>“Yes, but not read yet” replied Louis and opened the message.</p><p>“What not read yet?” Harry wanted to know, who came back to them.</p><p>“The message from Zayn” answered Niall. Louis looked at his cell phone and frowned.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>From Joey:</b>
</p><p>‘<em>Just as a warning: Liam is very exhausting today. OVERLY careful, OVER protective, too paranoid and stubborn like a donkey. You can't even breathe near water because it could go wrong. He treats me like a baby and doesn't let me do anything. This can be fun tonight. He invents the wildest theories, says things he'll regret and tries to explain everything logically, although that doesn't work. Aye, I get a headache.’</em></p><p> </p><p>“Oh dear, that doesn't sound so great. Maybe we should bring Liam some soothing pills” laughed Louis untroubled.</p><p>“What's going on?” Harry didn't understand.</p><p>“Did Zayn not text you?” inquired Louis confusedly.</p><p>“No” explained Harry emotionlessly.</p><p>Oh, that was bitter. Zayn had written only to him and Niall. Louis could have guessed that. Why should Zayn write to Harry voluntarily? But of course, Louis, stupid as he was, had to ask again and make things worse.</p><p>“He just said that Liam is going crazy and we're probably going to be annoyed” summed Louis up briefly.</p><p>“Ah, okay. That's nothing new” was all Harry had to say and immediately all pity was gone.</p><p>“We should clear everything up and then go” distracted Louis.</p><p>“Good idea, Sweetheart” winked Niall at him and Louis had to giggle.</p><p>“Aye, the show is over. Please, spare me that” whined Harry weirded out.</p><p>“Aww, is that too much for you? Could the gayness skip on you?” laughed Niall mockingly at him.</p><p>“Just watch out, Niall. I believe it already skipped on you” countered Harry.</p><p>“I'd have no problem with that. Then I could really have Loulou for myself. How about you?” challenged Niall him.</p><p>“Niall, drop it. Let's go and never call me Loulou again” tried Louis to silence the two.</p><p>“Fine, but only if he keeps his mouth shut” grumbled Niall sulkily.</p><p>“Believe me, I want nothing more than that” sighed Louis heavily.</p><p>Together, they cleaned up the rest, changed their clothes and headed for the dress-rehearsal.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>This Chapter is parted into three separated parts. Before the show; the show and after the show ...</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. 13.2 Farewell Concert</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This Chapter is just gonna be the whole concert, so you can skip it if you don't feel like reading just about five boys performing seven songs on a stage in school. <br/>And the POV's will switch a lot in this one.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>Trembling and totally tense, the boys were standing backstage and held their breath. One more minute and then they would have to perform. The rehearsal went well, but still, they were afraid something might go wrong. After all, they weren't at Louis' home now, but at school. All their classmates would watch them, including some teachers. Breathing heavily, the five put their hands together in the middle, looked at each other and merged into a group hug. The first one they ever had. Then they were given a sign and they entered the stage.</p><p>The room was full of people and the headlights dazzled their faces. Visibly nervous, Liam brought the microphone to his mouth and announced them. “Hello, we are here today to wish Mrs. Stewart all the best and say goodbye to her. She wished that we would perform together again, as she probably likes something about this constellation. Anyway, we wrote especially for her a few more songs. I hope you have fun”.</p><p>With these words, the guys took their mics, all marked with different colours. Orange for Liam, purple for Zayn, blue for Louis, green for Harry and red for Niall.</p><p>“Our first song is called <em>Here We Are</em>” added Harry, and then they finally started singing.</p><p>Harry opened the song, although a little reserved because he was worried about his former friends and what they could do. But as soon as he felt the adrenaline he lost himself in the music, blinding out all sorts of problems and just enjoyed the moment. He couldn’t believe how well Louis had managed to reword his screwed up view of late-night memories he had told him about while rewriting the song and make it sound almost poetic. Even he knew that was pure talent.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>The darker it gets the more we awake</em>
</p><p>
  <em>We turn up the music and cause an earthquake</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Hotels and parties with a cocktail in each hand</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Our mixed up footprints are lost in the sand</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Louis took over the bridge and to the astonishment of the other four, his voice didn't shake one bit and he sounded as confident and secure as never before, not to mention how fantastic he sounded.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>In the pitch-black darkness, we let our emotions show</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And fight our fears while the lights above us glow</em>
</p><p>
  <em>We share our deepest secrets and let the tears fall</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Make unbreakable promises and tear down that fucking wall. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>In the chorus, the guys turned on properly and celebrated themselves. The crowd went along, and no one stood still. That feeling was amazing.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Here we are on top of the world</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Rushing through the night, leaving everything behind</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Tonight we’re creating some memories</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Jumping into the river, maybe even learning some Dutch</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Drinking way too much so we have to find some remedies</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Cause yeah, here we are</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Then came Liam's part and for a fraction of a second, he forgot that it was a full moon and he was really worried. He just enjoyed having fun with his friends and sang his lungs out.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Kissing strangers in a crowded room</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Messing around under the curious eyes of the moon</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Baby, I need some clarity</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Right now you’re only feeding my insecurity</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Zayn took over the second bridge of the song and he sounded absolutely flawless. His voice was just breath-taking. As Niall sang, he thought of nothing at all. He put his arm around Liam and rocked the stage with him. He hopped madly back and forth and heard the people cheering.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Dancing to the tune for the time of our lives</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Snapping dozens of pictures, saving them in our archives</em>
</p><p>
  <em>So we can look back at this fogged time</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Dancing, singing, laughing together and where everything was fine</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“The next song was written by Louis and me during the holidays when we were sitting back and remembered what's important in life. Family, friends, the people who are always there for you” began Niall to announce the next song.</p><p>“In the course of our lives we will often have to go elsewhere and leave places or people behind for a while, but we must never forget where we belong. Home is where your heart is with the people you love” finished Louis Niall's little speech. And no, he didn't look at Harry while saying that. Nope, how do you even get that?</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Grew up in this small town, right around the corner</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Always had a safe place but nothing was happening here</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Now I’m sitting here in a crowded bar,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Sipping on my third beer, feeling a little down</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Strangers all around me but all I need is you</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Left home at an early age, ready to explore the world</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Years full of different countries; drink after drink,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Fell down a couple of times but thanks to you I’m standing </em>
</p><p>
  <em>back on my feet</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Now I’m singing on this fucking stage, far away from our </em>
</p><p>
  <em>street and all I want is you</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span class="u">Chorus:</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>You always show me my way back home to you</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Now I can finally admit that it’s true</em>
</p><p>
  <em>No matter where I go I will never be alone</em>
</p><p>
  <em>(Because) You’ll always lead me right back home</em>
</p><p> </p><p>The song meant everything to Niall. The message was very important to him. When the chorus started, people pulled their phones out and turned on their flashlights. It was a real concert feeling. Niall knew that they all felt that song down to the smallest detail and stood by every word. Each one of them would sign it immediately. Even Harry, strangely enough. Niall was sure. Even if he had said at the beginning that would be super cheesy and far away from reality, he now looked very happy singing it. He has never sung his part so convincingly.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>I’ve been to paradise and back, sun beach sea</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Right on top of the world or the bottom of the ocean</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I’ve seen the brightest happiness and the deepest devotion</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Being alone in this lonely hotel room triggered all of my </em>
</p><p>
  <em>bottled up emotions</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And you’re the only thing I wanna see</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Nothing stopped them during this song, they just enjoyed the moment and cheered the crowd and celebrate with them. It almost felt like a real concert and not like a school performance. Everyone danced with them, trying to sing along with the text. Mrs. Stewart looked happy and very proud and that was the most important thing.</p><p>The only ones standing in the corner, their faces drawn, were Sean Ethan and Aidan plus their escorts. They tried not to get carried away by the rush, you could see that in their faces, but that wasn't that easy. Every now and then one or the other head bobbed in time with the music.</p><p>When Zayn and Louis' part came on, Niall tried not to grin like crazy. He loved this part of the song. Louis and Zayn loved the feeling that came from singing their part. They forgot everything around them and sang in harmony and unity their soul out of their bodies. The cheers became as loud as ever during their part.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Your words, your smile, your eyes </em>
</p><p>
  <em>It’s in my head but not enough</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Finally your lingering touch </em>
</p><p>
  <em>It’s everything but all too much</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I’m gonna write my unspoken words into a million skies</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And run another billion miles</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Because I know being apart has never been this tough</em>
</p><p>
  <em>(And) I wanna come home to you</em>
</p><p> </p><p>If they had both paid close attention to the sides for a second, they might have seen the two faces of two potentially unenthusiastic people, who twisted their faces and tried to stay cool. Neither of them knew why they felt so strange at the sight of Zayn and Louis, but they couldn't deny it either. Not that Zayn and Louis would have noticed.</p><p>As the song passed, they took a deep breath. The beginning had worked flawlessly. That was already a good sign. “And how do you like it so far?” asked Harry excitedly and got cheers in response.</p><p>“We want to slow it down a little bit now if that's okay with you” announced Niall joyfully.</p><p>“The song is called <em>Simple Moments</em> and was written by our beloved Louis Tomlinson” grinned Zayn, causing Louis to blush and he looked ashamed to the ground.</p><p>Niall, Zayn and Liam took their mic stands from the sides while Harry took them for himself and Louis and put it down in front of him.</p><p>“Um, thank you” mumbled Louis in surprise.</p><p>Harry just gave him a friendly smile and then looked to the audience. Louis looked at him a bit perplexed but turned away when the song started.</p><p>The calmness of the song was good and everyone relaxed. People whipped or danced with their partners in love with the music. Niall sank completely into the song and hardly noticed anything that happened around him except that he saw out of the corner of his eye how Harry and Louis were glancing at each other again and again without the other noticing. Both smiled slightly when the other one sang. Harry's smile during Louis' part was something Niall thought he would never see in a million years. It looked like there was nothing more important to him at that very moment than Louis’ voice.</p><p>On his other side, Zayn and Liam were sometimes singing to each other and smiling like crazy. Zayn had a slight blush on his cheeks due to Liam looking at him and Niall wondered if Zayn could possibly have a crush on Liam. Maybe he should ask him.</p><p>Standing in the middle wasn't always easy but Niall just closed his eyes, took in the moment and felt as free as never before. Performing with these boys was the best thing that ever happened to him. He asked himself if this could be a thing or if this would be their first and last gig ever. Maybe they should keep this band alive and see where this could take them. Or he was just crazy.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Turn all the lights down low</em>
</p><p>
  <em>While our hearts are beating slow</em>
</p><p>
  <em>We don’t need those big confessions</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Or bombastic first impressions</em>
</p><p>
  <em>We live in the simple moments (warming our hearts)</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And it’s simply enough</em>
</p><p> </p><p>“So, now we'll shake you up a bit so that nobody falls asleep here” joked Liam when the song was over.</p><p>“Our next song is called <em>Perfect Liar</em>” shouted Niall into the microphone and then the song started.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>A huge fake smile plastered on your face</em>
</p><p>
  <em>You left my spotted life without a single trace</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Honey-dripping sweet words rolling off your tongue</em>
</p><p>
  <em>How can you be this blunted but oh-so young?</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>You never break in, you never give in</em>
</p><p>
  <em>It was all just a fucked up game you wanted to win</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span class="u">Chorus:</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>You have a heart of ice and a face of stone</em>
</p><p>
  <em>You push your victims out of their safe comfort zone,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Trying to break them</em>
</p><p>
  <em>You’re the perfect liar</em>
</p><p>
  <em>It’s a wicked game that you never lose</em>
</p><p>
  <em>You present all the broken souls like freshly new tattoos</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And there’s absolutely no excuse </em>
</p><p>
  <em>You’re the perfect liar</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Throughout the song, that strange feeling crept back into Harry's subconscious mind that the text was partially addressed to him. Louis had written it during the holidays and there was no other situation that Harry could think of that would match the feeling of the song. Singing these words was harder for Harry than he thought and he just didn't understand why. The heartbreaking words that Harry had accidentally seen in Louis' notebook reappeared in his mind and again he believed it was his fault and felt that stinging in his heart again. What was that, please?</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Is it fun to play people? Do you know any remorse?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>You lie without a shame, skilfully replacing the blame</em>
</p><p>
  <em>No single emotion or crippled feeling inside</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Never even cared when your victim cried</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>You never break in, you never give in</em>
</p><p>
  <em>It was all just a messed up plan you fulfilled with a grin</em>
</p><p> </p><p>On the other side, Louis couldn't shake the feeling away that Harry was somehow tense. So lost in thought and absent. That didn't suit him. He wasn't one who wasted a lot of time on meaningless thoughts and became emotionally dizzy. He once said that himself. Why did he act like that now?</p><p>Additionally, Louis realized how Harry kept his eyes on him during the song. As if he wanted to explore the meaning behind the words. Did Harry know that the inspiration for the song came partly from their past? It was pretty obvious after all. When they read the text for the first time, Zayn thought Harry looked like he was being addressed. Was he perhaps right?</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>You’re the perfect liar – to set the world on fire</em>
</p><p>
  <em>You’re the perfect liar – only pleasuring your desire</em>
</p><p>
  <em>You’re the perfect liar – living on a high wire</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Without much talk, they started the next song.<em> Just Words.</em> Even though the lyrics were pretty deep at some points surprisingly, the boys thought it was because Niall helped writing it, the song was very up-tempo and a good choice to jump across the stage. That's exactly what they did and the crowd seemed to love it. Even Sean and his minions had given up and danced with them. Of course, only to be able to hook up with someone later and not because they liked it.</p><p> </p><p>“Only three more songs, Wow, how the time goes by” sighed Liam and the audience made sad sounds. “Anyway, this song was written by our dear Zayn with some help from Louis. Are you ready for <em>In The Moonlight</em>?”.</p><p>Zayn felt his fear coming back. Did he have to tell the whole world that the song was from him? There were crazy people out there who analysed every word to find out what was behind it and who the song was about. Really, who does that?</p><p>That was the first and only song Louis started and he was pretty nervous. Of course, he had become safer but his voice was the first thing one heard now. That scared him. What if he screwed it up?</p><p>Harry seemed to notice that and put his hand on his back, smiling at him encouragingly when he looked at him in confusion and gave him a thumbs-up. No matter how strange that was, it calmed him down and gave him security. He sang his part flawlessly and felt the tension vanish again.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Trembling hands and a lump in my throat</em>
</p><p>
  <em>A fast-beating heart and tongue-tied</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Restless dreams or I’m awake all night</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Hoping you’ll never find the million tries of the song I wrote</em>
</p><p> </p><p>With each word that Liam sang afterwards, Zayn became more nervous. He watched him closely. So far he didn't seem to know that the song was about him, but the realization could come anytime. Zayn didn't want to experience that moment. Relatively quickly, the people got the text and began to sing along. Each additional person stood for another chance to be unmasked. Why did he agree to sing the song?</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>It is about you and everything you do</em>
</p><p>
  <em>How you support my dreams and help me fight my fears</em>
</p><p>
  <em>About the way you make me feel inside</em>
</p><p>
  <em>You made me realise that nothing is like it seems</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And helped me with everything throughout all these years</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span class="u">Chorus:</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Now it’s nothing more than a faded memory</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I missed my chance and messed up the plan</em>
</p><p>
  <em>You’re slipping away because I didn’t manage to be a man</em>
</p><p>
  <em>You were sitting by the cliff, eyes shining like the stars so bright</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And all I wanted to do was kiss you in the moonlight</em>
</p><p> </p><p>When he had to sing the first chorus, he felt his voice tremble and tried to calm himself, otherwise, it would be noticeable. Instead of looking at Liam, he averted his gaze and let it travel over the people, over to Niall, who hopped across the stage cheerfully and carelessly while he sang his part, towards Louis. As his eyes fell on him, Zayn's breath caught.</p><p>Just now Harry was singing his part after Niall’s one. That wasn't what shocked Zayn so much. No. He didn't just normally sing it. He stood directly in front of Louis like he was in trance or something and sang the lyrics directly to his face. The eye contact was very intense and it was as if the two were completely in their own world. As if Harry was singing these words for Louis and he was touched by it, which was of course total nonsense. Right?</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>I wanna tell you how I feel but my voice is breaking</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I wanna show you how I feel but my body ain’t moving</em>
</p><p>
  <em>You’re too good to be true and I really wanna be with you</em>
</p><p> </p><p>The penultimate song was <em>More</em> written by Niall. When Sean and Ethan heard the lyrics, they began to laugh and made nasty side comments.</p><p>“<em>Hypocrite” </em>coughed Sean in Harry's direction and you immediately saw the pain on his face. That has once been his best friend.</p><p>But he was right. He was a hypocrite. All his life money and power have been so important to him and there was nothing he couldn't buy and with which he didn't state. And now he was singing a song about how unimportant that was and how much it annoyed him about people, if they only used him for money and didn't really want him and that he wanted more than that. Of course, what Sean didn't know was that Niall had written the song, not Harry. Niall thought that, not Harry. But how was Harry going to make that clear to Sean? Why should he do that? He didn't care what Sean thought about him. But at that moment he realized that wasn't the case. No matter how emotionless and cold Harry could be, he was missing Sean. No one else had to know about it. Emotions were not his thing. Neither in friendships, in the family, nor in love, which in his opinion still doesn't exist.</p><p>The song was already on Zayn's part and Harry turned his attention to him. Zayn sang his part directly to Liam with a wink, signalling that it was just fun. He lifted his chin with his hand and looked straight into Liam's eyes. Harry saw Niall grinning like crazy when he saw that and Louis tried to suppress his grin. Had Harry missed something? Was there anything between the two other boys other than friendship? Didn't Liam like girls? Why was Harry even thinking about it? The sight strangely made him smile and he felt his heart warm.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>I was ready to hand you my heart, vulnerable and naked</em>
</p><p>
  <em>But you only cared about what’s on my bank account</em>
</p><p>
  <em>You ripped my soul apart, should have known you only faked it</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Oh, I really don’t wanna know the number of your past boyfriends' headcount</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Luckily, the part was finally over and Harry could think normal again. The song was drawing to a close and Harry felt the urge to sing the last line of the chorus, that he was singing alone and would close the song, for Louis. The thought scared him and he was surprised and disgusted by himself, but before he could think clearly again it was already too late.</p><p>“Oh, I want more than this with you” sang Harry his last line directly to Louis, who blushed slightly and looked at him perplexed. He didn't understand the world anymore, but Harry did neither. Where did that come from?</p><p>Their last song was ‘<em>Rock Me’</em>, their very first song together. But this time everything was different. There were no bad feelings between the boys or the fear of doing something wrong. So many times they had already sung the song, and everyone could sing each part in their sleep. Their classmates from the music class sang the text loudly, which made the boys smile. That was an incredible feeling and no word could describe it. Everyone jumped around. Either the boys on the stage or the people in the crowd. Everyone was happy and excited and full of energy. This was really an amazing evening. An absolutely incredible performance and a day they will never forget in their lives</p><p>When they were finished they took each other’s hands and bowed once. The claps and jeers got louder and then they disappeared from the stage. Backstage they fell into each other's arms and couldn't stop smiling.</p><p>“That was incredible” rejoiced Niall.</p><p>“Just awesome. They totally lost it!” exclaimed Louis high-spirited.</p><p>“Who would have thought it would go so well?” grinned Liam.</p><p>“Me” laughed at Harry.</p><p>“Of course, Harold. What else” said Louis cheekily.</p><p>“Guys, that was fantastic. Thank you” thanked Mrs. Stewart them as she came backstage.</p><p>“Oh, that's not worth mentioning” waved Liam the matter off blushingly.</p><p>“It is. That was incredible. The best farewell ever” she beamed happily.</p><p>“Thanks, but that was all just for you,” said Harry sweetly and the others quietly snickered.</p><p>“That's nice, Harry” she smiled longingly.</p><p>“Bailey should be performing now. You'd better head back or you'll miss something” reminded Louis Mrs. Stewart.</p><p>“Oh right. Thank you, Louis. But before I leave, I want to tell you one more thing” she stopped and all five looked at her expectantly.</p><p>“You five have something very special. I don't know exactly what it is, but you have a connection when you sing, that is incomparable, almost as if it was fate. No idea. Don't just leave that behind now that I'm gone. You have to use this gift, make something out of it. You have great potential and the chance to give something completely new to the world. Keep the band alive and follow this goal, this way. This is my last advice to you. There is only one direction for you and that's to the top” she advised them before she finally left and left behind five completely stunned boys.</p><p>Nobody knew what to do with this advice, but deep inside they knew she was right and that they had already realized that for themselves. Each of them had thought about it before, very quietly and secretly all alone.</p><p>When they heard Bailey's voice from the stage, they were awakened from their stupor and wordlessly went to the other students to enjoy the performance and stopped thinking about what might happen today. The moon was completely forgotten.</p><p>“Hi, I'm Bailey Matthews. I hope we'll have fun tonight. My first song is called <em>Dirty Angel</em>”.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. 13.3 Mouth Of Truth *</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>A slight trigger warning maybe.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>“Louis, what on earth was that?” asked Violetta in horror.</p><p>“I don't know what you mean” he replied blankly.</p><p>“You and Harry! On stage” she said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.</p><p>“Can you just say what exactly you mean so that I don't have to repeat myself?” replied Louis sassily.</p><p>“Spare me, Mister Sass Queen” she rolled her eyes.</p><p>“Spit it out” urged Louis her.</p><p>“It seemed like you two somehow … I don't know, as if there was something going on between you two” she wrestled for the right words.</p><p>“Sure you're okay?” chuckled Louis and lay a hand on Vilu's forehead.</p><p>“Save it, please. I know this sounds stupid, but it really did look like it. You've been constantly glancing at each other and even singing to each other like no one else did. And you should have seen your faces during <em>Simple Moments </em>when you sang your parts. If I didn't know better, I would say there are feelings in the game” she told him, raising an eyebrow expectantly.</p><p>“It's official, you have to go to the doctor” decided Louis, whereupon Violetta poked him in the shoulder.</p><p>“Anyway, you were really fantastic” dropped Violetta the subject for now.</p><p>“Thanks. I was so scared that something would go wrong” confessed Louis.</p><p>“And for nothing, because it was impeccable” she smiled at him.</p><p>“There you are. What are you doing without us again?” shouted Zayn as he approached them.</p><p>“Not what you think” grinned Violetta cheekily.</p><p>“Aye, she is really bad” chuckled Zayn.</p><p>“Tell me about it” sighed Louis playfully.</p><p>“Guys, you were fantastic. Where are the other two?” asked Nikki as she came over with Liam in tow.</p><p>“Niall is where he always is. Eating” laughed Zayn footloose.</p><p>“And Harry is somewhere. No idea where he is” shrugged Louis uninterested.</p><p>“I have to admit, I didn't think that would work out so well with Harry. You know, after all that shit” coughed Nikki awkwardly.</p><p>“You don't have to be uncomfortable, Nikki. We wouldn't have expected that either” reassured Louis her.</p><p>“You didn't, I did. You underestimated him. He has changed” noted Liam confidently.</p><p>“If you think so” bit Violetta the inside of her cheek.</p><p>“I see it like Vilu. I'm not so sure about that either, but he has changed a bit. That, even I have to admit” admitted Louis honestly.</p><p>“A bit? Come on, give him some credit” demanded Liam annoyed.</p><p>“Liam, it's not as easy for everyone as it is for you. You're too good-natured” tried Nikki to explain.</p><p>“Probably you're right” smiled Liam warmly at her.</p><p>Louis felt Zayn tense next to him and his breathing sped up. He looked at Zayn and could clearly see him glaring at Liam and Nikki. Before Louis could speak, Zayn stomped away with a growling <em>“I need to get away”.</em> The jealousy was clearly written on his face, but Liam didn't scrape anything again. Why didn't that surprise him?</p><p>“What's happening?” asked Liam confused.</p><p>“Nothing. He just wanted to go to the bathroom for a minute” lied Louis and Liam immediately believed it. You could really lie right into his face.</p><p>“What's your problem?” heard Louis Brandon asking someone in the close distance.</p><p>“You are my problem!” answered a voice that was much too familiar to him.</p><p>Louis closed his eyes with a sigh and hoped that he had just imagined that and Harry was not already causing problems again. His wish wasn't answered. Liam had apparently heard it too and hinted to Louis that they should go over there to see what was going on.</p><p>“Harry, just leave us alone. You don't have to look” growled Luke Sebastian angrily at him.</p><p>“That's hard to miss if you do that in the middle of the dancefloor” spat Harry in disgust.</p><p>“You know, for a second I really thought you might have been decent since you hung out with Liam and the other boys, but I guess I was wrong” crossed Brandon his arms over his chest.</p><p>“This has nothing to do with decorum. You have to respect us normals and spare us your great filthiness and do it somewhere else or even better, not at all” shot Harry back.</p><p>“Why should we hide our affection just because it might bother you? Are you saying that to those half-naked women too?” challenged Luke him.</p><p>“Why should I? That's nice to look at” replied Harry, licking his lips.</p><p>“Oh, and we're not? Harry, you are disgusting” growled Brandon at him.</p><p>“Shh, be quiet, Donny” shushed Luke Brandon, but it was already too late.</p><p>“Me? Disgusting? Says you? You should have listened to the advice of your little boyfriend, Freak. If I were you, I'd rather be quiet. The only ones that are disgusting are you two. You're nothing as two weird, abnormal, sick, cock-loving, disgusting little faggots, which should best be hidden somewhere. No one wants to see your filthiness. You ought to drive that out instead of supporting it. Maybe some hot chicks will help. Fuck a delicious wet pussy once and you'll never want to think about sucking dicks ever again. You just need it really bad for once” snapped Harry at Luke and Brandon with pure disgust in his eyes.</p><p>“What's wrong with you, Harry?!” asked Liam in horror before Luke or Brandon could say anything.</p><p>“God, Liam, no need to get upset. We just talked, right fags?” smirked Harry spitefully.</p><p>“Don't even try. We've heard everything. How can you say that?” let Liam him know stunned and pointed to himself and Louis, who stood next to him and just looked shocked at Harry.</p><p>“How? It's true. Why should I lie? What's your problem, please?” shrugged Harry apathetically.</p><p>“My problem? My problem is you! I really expected more from you, but apparently, Louis was right. Expectations only lead to disappointment” shook Liam his head.</p><p>“Wow, you said that nicely. Does that come from a fortune cookie?” mocked Harry hum amused.</p><p>“I thought we had left that behind. I thought you had learned something and maybe really understood what you were doing, but obviously, I was wrong. I'm really disappointed in you, Harry. Deeply disappointed. I thought there was something. Sometimes I'm too naïve and easy believing. I should never have forgiven and believed you again so quickly. And most of all, I shouldn't have tried to force the others to do it. I think I'll have to apologise. I should have listened to you. I'm sorry. Especially, I have to apologize to you, Louis. I've asked too much of you. You had every reason to still distrust him and I wanted you to just forget everything” saw Liam his mistake.</p><p>“No Liam, don't be so hard on yourself. It was good you gave him a chance. We were too vicious. You're special. No one could have guessed that he would really mess it up again right after a week” assured Louis him and put his hand on Liam's back.</p><p>“Naww, how sweet. Louis, the saint. Can't even be mad” mocked Harry him roguish.</p><p>“If I were you I'd be quiet, Harry. Would you like to say more that makes you even lonelier, then have fun. Don't even think about talking to us again” snapped Liam pissed off.</p><p>“Come on, Liam. This disappointment number is getting boring. It wasn't even about you. It's about the two fags. That's abnormal and disgusting” niggled Harry.</p><p>“Good to know you still think that. Do you really think we want to be friends with someone like you now? Do you realize that you offended three of us as well? You probably don't realize that because you don't think like this, if you even think” sighed Liam disappointed.</p><p>“Wait, three?” frowned Harry perplexed.</p><p>“Is this really your only worry? My God, Harry. I'm bisexual, but that's not the point now. We don't want to have anyone with us who thinks like that. How can you expect us to ever forget that? Do you really want to be near us when we are so disgusting?” got Liam madder with every word. Louis felt that this was probably about Zayn.</p><p>“Let it go, Liam. It's not worth it. Let's just go” tried Louis to reassure him.</p><p>“Have you become a peacemaker now, Shorty? There's nothing wrong with what I said. I didn't mean you. Why do I always have to justify myself to you? It would be so much easier if you just liked pussies instead of dicks” was Harry so done with it.</p><p>“Just unbelievable. Just shut up. Nobody wants to hear your ridiculous justifications. We know what you really think, so have fun with your sluts” snapped Louis at him angrily.</p><p>“Chill, Louis. Don't be a pain in the ass” grimaced Harry annoyed.</p><p>“Oh, I was thinking of something else that could be a pain in your ass” countered Louis sassily. From Liam, Brandon and Luke you heard hailed Uh's and Harry looked at him with a blank face.</p><p>“It's not like he didn't want that anyway, right, Haaarrrryyyyy?! It must be weird to insult someone for that if you've even asked for a dick in your ass yourself. Why don't you tell them that? Maybe you, Tommy?” came Zayn's voice from behind them with a slight giggle.</p><p>“What?” asked Brandon and Luke synchronously horrified.</p><p>“Zayn, shut up” ordered Louis stunned.</p><p>“Why though? This Hypocrite is supposed to admit that he has almost sexually abused you and has begged you, like a desperate doggy, to feel your cock in his ass, which is super witty, if you think about it. Okay, maybe not for you because of your ex, who ... “.</p><p>Quickly, Louis put his hands over Zayn's mouth to shut him up before he could continue to spill so many secrets. Louis looked into the pale faces of Brandon and Luke, who no longer understood the world. Then he looked at a confused Liam over to a frozen Harry. Zayn had really blabbed so much that Harry wanted to repress. That could Louis see clearly in his face.</p><p>“Zayn, what on earth is that supposed to do?” asked Louis him in disbelief.</p><p>“Ha-ha, he's just kidding. He's certainly still over the moon due to the gig or just pissed off drunk. We'll take him with us” came Niall now to the rescue still with food in his mouth. “Why don't you two go to Vilu and see how the girls are? We're taking over the problem here” he added, slightly demanding. Brandon and Luke understood immediately and went over to the girls, still stunned.</p><p>“Aye Zayn, what was that? Why did you tell them that?” demanded Louis an answer.</p><p>“No, don't take your hand away. He could talk more shit” stopped Niall him as he tried to take the hand of Zayn's mouth.</p><p>“They're gone now. Why should he?” Liam didn't understand.</p><p>“My God, did you all forget what day is today?” asked Niall them incredulously.</p><p>“Oh shit, I forgot. That's the moon's effect” realized Louis now.</p><p>“That means he'll be like that all evening now? He's going to be saying things that nobody wants to hear?” tried Liam to understand, and one could hear in his voice that he was disappointed in himself that he couldn't protect Zayn.</p><p>“I suppose. I don't know how big the impact is here. Maybe he's telling the truth rashly, or he's just talking nonsense all the time” mused Niall doubtfully.</p><p>“Well, that just a minute ago was the truth and he almost said too much” mumbled Louis quietly.</p><p>“Almost too much? That was too much. What could have been worse than that?” snapped Harry angrily.</p><p>“There are worse things than that Harry. Zayn could have blurted out something ten times worse” replied Niall and immediately Louis struck him in the ribs stunned and with an evil glare on his face.</p><p>“You deserved it, Harry”.</p><p>“Liam, how can you say that?” asked Niall in surprise.</p><p>“You haven't been here. You didn't hear what this homophobe said” glared Liam at him.</p><p>“Right. Absolutely fantastic. Can we concentrate on Zayn now? We have to get him out of here, but outside the moon is already risen in the sky” drew Louis the attention to the main problem.</p><p>“How did we even plan originally to get out of here when the party is over?” pondered Niall suddenly.</p><p>“We won't. We stay the night here, otherwise, it will not work. There is a relaxation room in the northern part of the school where the guidance counsellor talks to students, so we can go there” explained Liam his original plan.</p><p>“Let me guess, our parents think we sleep with you?” raised Louis an eyebrow. Liam just nodded.</p><p>“And how will we get out of here tomorrow?” asked Niall concerned.</p><p>“Let that be my concern”.</p><p>“Ouch” yelled Louis when Zayn bit his hand.</p><p>“He has to get out of here very quickly” stated Niall with wide eyes.</p><p>“Hello, guys. You’re enjoying the party?” asked Mrs. Stewart, who suddenly appeared next to them.</p><p>“Yes, but we have to leave for a sec” wanted Niall to leave as soon as possible. Liam went ahead while Niall and Louis pulled Zayn away.</p><p>“Harry would love the party even better if he got head. He wanted to fuck you forever” chuckled Zayn and winked at them.</p><p>Now they just dragged him away even faster. Harry remained frozen and Louis could only see him wrestling for words. In the school corridor, they stopped and gasped for air.</p><p>“That came unexpectedly” laughed Niall half-heartedly.</p><p>“Harry's face was indescribable” agreed Liam.</p><p>“Guys, problem here. Zayn has to get out of here” reminded Louis them.</p><p>“We have a problem. There's no direct way out of here to that room, just outside and that's not possible. So we'll have to go across the auditorium to the other side again” stated Liam sheepishly.</p><p>“Why didn’t we do that from the start?” whined Louis dramatically.</p><p>“That can be fun” sighed Niall breathlessly.</p><p> </p><p>Firmly resolved and with Zayn firmly under control, they entered the room again. Liam pointed to the other door and they quickly made their way there. Unfortunately, they also passed Tiffany and Cecilia.</p><p>“Hey Cecilia, did you steal my abused childhood blanket?” asked Zayn, pointing to her weird dress.</p><p>“I'd rather not eat that, Tiffy. That's pretty disgusting, though you're used to stuffing used things in your mouth and choke on it. You should write songs about it” chuckled Zayn like he was drunk.</p><p>Panicked, Louis and Niall moved Zayn even faster towards the door. Louis looked for Harry but didn't find him. It was clear that he only thought of himself. Why did he even think for one second he would help them?</p><p>“You have so many pimples on your face” grimaced Zayn as he passed a teacher.</p><p>“Sorry, he's a little crazy” smiled Liam faked.</p><p>“Louis, what's going on here? Why is Zayn behaving so strangely?” asked Violetta as they passed her and the others. Niall and Louis pushed Zayn into Liam's arms and pointed to the door. Immediately, he understood and disappeared with him.</p><p>“Nothing, V. He's just a bit weird today” tried Louis to cover up all of this.</p><p>Suddenly one of the curtains slipped in front of the large windows, letting in some moonlight. In a flash, Niall and Louis jumped to one side.</p><p>Violetta frowned at this. “Guys, what's going on here?”.</p><p>“Nothing at all. Did you see Harry? We really need to find him” asked Louis hastily.</p><p>“He's just gone out the hallway,” told Luke him. Immediately, Niall and Louis ran to the door, one out of three.</p><p>“He wasn't alone” called Luke after them, but they didn't hear that anymore.</p><p>They tore the door open and looked around. Shocked, the two froze at the sight that was presented to them. Further down the hall, Mrs. Stewart was leaning against the wall with Harry pressed against her. The two were snogging wildly and grinded their hips against each other. Groaning and panting could be heard and the two continued to suck off their faces. Mrs. Stewart groped behind her back for the doorknob and a second later they stumbled backwards into an empty classroom. The moaning and gasping grew louder and you heard creaking tables. Louis felt Niall's hand patting up and down his back.</p><p>“At least she's not our teacher anymore,” he said quietly, then dragged Louis back into the auditorium, through the crowd to the other door.</p><p>And if the one sight they just a second ago wouldn't have been a shock for so many reasons, then probably Louis and Niall would have fallen dead at that moment. In front of them stood Liam and Zayn, kissing. Respectively, Zayn was kissing a completely frozen Liam, who didn't know how it happened to him. Louis had to stop that immediately.</p><p>He knew that Zayn had a crush on Liam and he could have guessed that this would happen. They should never have left the two of them alone. Not if Zayn wasn't sane and was only telling the truth. He didn't want Liam to know that. Louis hoped he hadn't said anything. Zayn wouldn't remember anything in the morning, but Liam would. That would be so embarrassing for Zayn. Louis had to do something.</p><p>“Guys, we need to get out of here. Harry, we can forget for today. Let's just go into this room” urged Louis them hurriedly. Zayn momentarily let go of Liam, who stared at him with wide eyes. Niall also stood rooted to the spot and said nothing.</p><p>“Guys, come on. That was the moon. You know that. Let's just go” told Louis them. This time they did what he asked, but the shock was still written on Liam's face.</p><p>“Wow, from one make out to the next. The moon is pretty messed up” said Niall baffled.</p><p>Finally, they reached the room and closed the door behind them. Sighing, they dropped onto the cushions and took a deep breath.</p><p>“Are that Scrims in his hair?” asked Niall suddenly. Louis looked at Zayn's hair in wonderment and indeed, there were remnants of Scrims to recognize</p><p>“I don't want to know how it got there” sighed Louis, shaking his head.</p><p>“We should try to sleep, so time will be over faster” suggested Niall.</p><p>“Zayn has already taken over” grinned Louis, pointing to a sleeping Zayn.</p><p>“Why do we always fall asleep after we've fucked up? Moon, explain yourself” wondered Niall puzzled.</p><p>“You can wait a long time for an answer” answered Louis and lay down.</p><p>After a short while, he heard Niall snoring slightly next to him. Louis looked up at the ceiling and tried to get the image of Harry and Mrs. Stewart out of his head, but it was permanently burnt into his eyelids. Everything about this was just so wrong and traumatic. A rattle tore him from his thoughts.</p><p>“Liam, are you still awake?” asked Louis quietly.</p><p>“Yes, I can't sleep” admitted Liam.</p><p>“I can imagine why, but don't worry too much about that. It was just the moon” tried Louis to soothe him and save Zayn's dignity.</p><p>“Why does the moon do that? Can he just force such things?” pondered Liam desperately.</p><p>“Well, think of my night,” remarked Louis.</p><p>“Um, there's something in it. But it wasn't completely enforced, I mean not everything, err ... you know what I mean?” stammered Liam helplessly.</p><p>“Unfortunately yes, even if I would like to deny that. There was a certain sexual attraction of mine, but just not from him and you see how powerful the moon is. So don't think about it anymore or is there something you’re not telling me? Did Zayn say anything? Did you feel anything?” became Louis sceptical.</p><p>“No, Oh God, no! I did not! He took me by surprise. He's my best friend. He said something, but that was the moon, so I try to forget it. Now I want to sleep, but thank you, Louis. For everything” finished Liam the topic.</p><p>“What are friends for” smiled Louis and finally tried to sleep.</p><p>After an eternal back and forth shifting he finally fell asleep, unfortunately with nightmares of Harry and Mrs. Stewart mixed with Zayn, who told Harry about his ex, what Harry then made fun of and exploited. To the point, he had nightmares of his ex, who wasn't stopped this time and it happened again and again. As he slept, tears were streaming down his cheeks, which Niall wiped away as he woke up briefly due to Louis soft whimpers. It couldn't get any worse.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. 14.1 Broken Hearts</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>The sunbeams fell on his face and he rolled around. Grumbling, he opened his eyes and blinked slightly. He wasn't in his room but in a schoolroom. As he was about to panic, Louis remembered what had happened last night and why he was here. He looked around and saw Zayn and Niall, who were still sleeping soundly.</p><p>Slowly, Louis sat up, stretched and searched for his phone because of the time. After a few seconds, he found it and startled when he saw what time it was already. Immediately, he jumped up, adjusted his clothes and went to the door. He decided to let the other two sleep, as Niall was free today and Zayn had to work much later.</p><p>On the shelf next to the door, Louis spotted the school keys and a little slip of paper saying -<em> 'For you to get out'</em> - before he went out. Louis frowned and left the room. Had Liam got the school keys and left them behind for them? Where was Liam anyway? He was the only one who was already gone. Louis feared it was due to the moon and the kiss between Liam and Zayn. After the game, Louis had to visit Zayn and be there for him. He needed that now. Someone had to explain what had happened.</p><p>Louis quickly ran home, sprinted up the stairs and packed his football gear. Then he went down the stairs again and went into the kitchen to get something to drink. His mother and four sisters were all in the kitchen, chatting happily.</p><p>“Oh, hey Darling. How did it go last night?” asked Jasmine as she noticed her son.</p><p>“Everything went well and nobody has fallen off the stage” he replied hurriedly.</p><p>“That makes me happy. Maybe someone filmed it. I'd like to see you on stage” she prompted.</p><p>“I don't know, probably not” he shrugged and quickly filled his juice into his glass.</p><p>“Louis, we want to go to the beach and dive afterwards. Are you coming with us?” asked Emily hopefully.</p><p>Louis almost choked on his juice and was now coughing heavily. “I'm sorry. I can't. I have to do something important for school”.</p><p>“But can you not do that later, or tomorrow? And what by the way? I thought you didn't have any homework?” hooked Sophia suspiciously.</p><p>“That can't wait. I have to go now” tried Louis to disappear quickly.</p><p>“But we have never been to the beach with you, Louis. You have to come. Don't let us down” implored Emily.</p><p>“I would, but I can't” repeated Louis. His sister's words struck him like knives in his heart. He had to disappoint her again and couldn't even tell her why.</p><p>“Buttercup, what's the problem? Just do your things later. We could ..” his mother tried to understand, causing Louis' desperation to grow even more.</p><p>“I just can't, okay?!” he said louder now and almost screamed at her. He grabbed his bag and stormed out of the house, near tears.</p><p>He hated having to lie to his family and disappointing them. He had never raised his voice against his mother. He would never forget the look in her eyes. It broke his heart to treat them all like this just because he was a freak. This whole fairy thing sometimes made his life really hard.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>After the game, Louis headed straight for Zayn. Maybe he still had memories of the evening or he just felt terrible because he couldn't remember a thing. Did Niall already tell him something? And if so, then what?</p><p>He rang the bell and after a few seconds, Zayn's mother opened the door. She gave him an open smile, invited him in and asked him how the performance had gone yesterday.</p><p>“Everything went well. Mrs. Stewart was very happy and Zayn was fantastic” told Louis her. When he mentioned Mrs. Stewart he immediately saw her and Harry in front of him again. He would never forget that sight in his whole life.</p><p>“That's nice to hear. Zayn hasn't said anything yet. He stormed into his room right away and he hasn't come out since. Did anything happen?” asked Zayn's mother worriedly.</p><p>“Not directly. He and Liam just had an awful disagreement and you know how close they are. That's enough to lock themselves away” tried Louis to explain.</p><p>“Oh, I understand. That's a pity. I hope the two clarify this again, otherwise, I'll have to look for another son-in-law” she said and had to smile in the end. With these words, she went into the kitchen and left Louis completely stunned. Did she just say that? Should he tell Zayn? As far as Louis knew, Zayn hadn't told his parents that he was gay. It seemed like he didn't have to anymore.</p><p>Still shocked, Louis went upstairs to Zayn's room. He knocked lightly, but nothing happened. No reaction. Louis knocked again. Again nothing.</p><p>“Joey, it's me. Open the door” breathed Louis out as he knocked again.</p><p>This time he heard a soft rustling and footsteps until the door finally opened and Zayn came to the fore. Without a word, he let Louis in, locked the door behind them and sat down on the bed next to Louis. At first, no one said a word, they just sat there. Then Zayn sighed loudly, ran his hands over his face and looked at Louis.</p><p>“Shit Moon. I can't remember anything, but I have such a weird feeling in my stomach that tells me something bad happened. Tommy, what have I done?” wailed Zayn helplessly.</p><p>Louis moved closer to him and put a hand on Zayn's knee. “What's the last thing you know?”.</p><p>“I went to the bathroom and wanted to go back to you, but when I woke up I was in that weird, colourful room. Everything in between was obliterated” rubbed Zayn his temples and tried to remember the night.</p><p>“While you were in the bathroom, we had an altercation with Harry, which you then ended by exposing him with knowledge of things that happened between him and me” began Louis to tell him.</p><p>“What a mess. What did I say? That sounds awful” asked Zayn horrified.</p><p>“Well, Harry insulted Luke and Brandon and that pretty harshly with words I don't want to repeat because the two of them kissed on the dance floor or something. So you came along and said it was funny how Harry insulted the two for liking cocks, when he … um … he … um … well um … has already begged for mine and something like that” started Louis to stammer and played nervously with his pants.</p><p>“Oh fuck, Louis. I'm sorry. Oh, shit” swore Zayn under his breath.</p><p>“It's alright. That wasn't you. But just so you know if Harry asks, you also said the situation would be funny if my ex didn't ... then I stopped you, but his face said he wanted to know what you meant. Of course, Niall had to mention again a short time later that you could have said something worse. Somehow I believe it is damned. From then on, you’ve thrown the truth in everyone's face, if they wanted it or not. Actually pretty funny. It's possible that Tiffany and Cecilia on Monday will be mad at you and you helped Harry with a hook-up, but yes” let Louis him know.</p><p>“Oh God, that's awful, how embarrassing. And I really mentioned <em>him</em>? Oh shit, I'm sorry. I would never tell Harry that. I s ..”.</p><p>“I know, Zayn. Don't stress yourself. That was the moon. He seems to want Harry to know that, but it will not happen. So, sorry Moon, nice try. Don't shut yourself down, Joey. We've all experienced this before” interrupted Louis Zayn's whining.</p><p>“You're right. Nevertheless, I feel bad about it. That could have gone wrong” sighed Zayn guiltily.</p><p>“But it didn't”.</p><p>“Wait a second. Did you say I helped Harry with a hook-up?” Zayn only now understood Louis' last words. Louis just nodded. “How? And who? Do I even want to know that?”.</p><p>“Well, you told Mrs. Stewart that Harry always wanted to fuck her and when we looked for him a short time later he was leaning over her against a wall, snogging and moaning until they disappeared into a classroom and the sounds grew louder. It was a great sight” told Louis him, shuddering at the thought.</p><p>“Eww, it's really a curse,” said Zayn disgustedly. Louis could only agree. “Was that all?” asked Zayn hopefully.</p><p>“There's one more thing but I don't know how to tell you that” started Louis cautiously, watching as fear spread through Zayn's face.</p><p>“Just tell me. Short and painless” closed Zayn his eyes desperately. Louis once took a deep breath and his grip on Zayn's knee tightened.</p><p>“You kissed Liam” he whispered, seeing Zayn's face drop at the words.</p><p>“What?!” exclaimed Zayn in panic</p><p>“I'm sorry, Zayn. That's all my fault” apologized Louis abashed.</p><p>“Why your fault?” Zayn didn't understand.</p><p>“Niall and I left you and Liam alone to look for Harry even though you were under the influence of the moon and I knew what you feel for him. I should have known that would happen. I mean, think about the thing with Harry. I'm so sorry” stammered Louis shamefully.</p><p>“You don't need to apologize. You’ve done nothing wrong. You couldn't know that would happen. You can't help it. That was just the fucking moon” assured Zayn him and even gave him a smile, but it immediately disappeared again after realising what he did. “Shit, I kissed Liam. Shit, shit, shit. That explains why he wasn't there this morning and why he doesn't respond to my messages. Oh God, I scared him off”.</p><p>“I don't think so. It's still Liam. He knows what the moon has for a force” tried Louis to reassure him.</p><p>“But why is he ignoring me then?” replied Zayn helplessly.</p><p>“I don't know. I don ...” stopped Louis mid-sentence as he recalled his conversation with Liam.</p><p>“What is it? What did you wanna say?” Zayn wanted to know.</p><p>“It's just that I talked to Liam last night, which I completely forgot” answered Louis hesitantly.</p><p>“And what did he say? Please, tell me” begged Zayn.</p><p>“He said you said something to him and that he didn't feel anything and you took him by surprise. I'm sorry” told Louis him sympathetically.</p><p>Zayn dropped back onto his bed and stared at the ceiling. “It's alright. You can't help it. Thanks to the moon I did exactly what I never wanted to do because I knew it would destroy everything. But at least I know now I never had a chance. Thank you, Moon” sighed Zayn, his voice trembling. He was close to tears.</p><p>“I would like to know why you had scrims in your hair” tried Louis to lift the mood.</p><p>“I had what?” laughed Zayn slightly.</p><p>“You had remnants of scrims in your hair. No idea how that happened” chuckled Louis. Zayn started to say something when he suddenly gasped and his eyes went wide.</p><p>“Zayn, what's up?” asked Louis in confusion, but Zayn didn't answer. Suddenly, his memories were coming back. Slowly, detail for detail.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Angrily pouting, Zayn jabbed into the school toilet and stopped by the sink. He really had to learn to suppress his jealousy or at least to control it, otherwise, Liam would notice something and then it would all be over. He couldn't let that happen.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Another student came into the toilet and Zayn finally tried to calm down. He heard a squeak and a clack and before he knew what was happening the other student had opened the window slightly. Before, the light was dimmed, but now a beam of moonlight fell directly onto the mirror, reflecting the light just in front of Zayn. Next to him, a faucet was turned on and in the flowing water was the reflection of the moon to be seen. </em>
</p><p>“<em>Everything OK?” the boy asked.</em></p><p>“<em>Everything's fine” smiled Zayn broadly before leaving the room.</em></p><p>
  <em>Suddenly he was starving for food. Immediately, he made his way to the buffet and looked for everything that came out of the sea first. He found canned sardines, tuna and shrimps. He stuffed everything into his mouth like a wild animal. He ate with his whole face and distributed the remains everywhere.</em>
</p><p>“<em>Zayn, what are you doing?” came Violetta's voice from behind him.</em></p><p>“<em>Hey, Vilu. Do you want something?” He turned to her and held out a half-full tin of sardines.</em></p><p>“<em>No need. Did you eat all this?” was Violetta amazed when she saw the mess on the buffet table.</em></p><p>“<em>I was hungry” shrugged Zayn.</em></p><p>“<em>I thought Niall was the devourer out of you four. After all, he plundered half the buffet down there” she studied him observingly.</em></p><p>“<em>You know, some things you just don't understand, but that's not up to you. Nature or magic just wanted it that way” replied Zayn, leaving Violetta just standing there.</em></p><p>
  <em>He searched the room for his friends and more to eat. Suddenly, he heard Harry's voice and followed the sound.</em>
</p><p>“<em>Have you become a peacemaker now, Shorty? There's nothing wrong with what I said. I didn't mean you. Why do I always have to justify myself to you? It would be so much easier if you just liked pussies instead of dicks”.</em></p><p>
  <em>Did he just say they should rather like pussies? Sure, he fucked through all the needy girls of the school, but didn't he want more than that? This hypocrite.</em>
</p><p>“<em>Just unbelievable. Just shut up. Nobody wants to hear your ridiculous justifications. We know what you really think, so have fun with your sluts” snapped Louis at him angrily.</em></p><p>“<em>Chill, Louis. Don't be a pain in the ass” grimaced Harry annoyed. Zayn came closer to his friends and rolled his eyes at Harry's words.</em></p><p>“<em>Oh, I was thinking of something else that could be a pain in your ass” countered Louis sassily. From Liam, Brandon and Luke you heard hailed Uh's and Harry looked at him with a blank face.</em></p><p>
  <em>Louis' response made Zayn laugh. Harry hadn't seen that one coming. His face was priceless. Big eyes, pale and totally overwhelmed with Louis' statement, which was logically a joke. Zayn couldn't resist his comment. Harry should stop pretending to them and himself.</em>
</p><p>“<em>It's not like he didn't want that anyway, isn't it, Haaarrrryyyyy?! It must be weird to insult someone for that if you've even asked for a dick in your ass yourself. Why don't you tell them that? Maybe you, Tommy?”</em> <em>giggled Zayn as if he was drunk.</em></p><p>“<em>What?” asked Brandon and Luke synchronously horrified.</em></p><p>“<em>Zayn, shut up” ordered Louis stunned.</em></p><p>“<em>Why though? This Hypocrite is supposed to admit that he has almost sexually abused you and has begged you, like a desperate doggy, to feel your cock in his ass, which is super witty, if you think about it. Okay maybe not for you, because of your ex, who ... “.</em></p><p><em>Before he could say more, Louis slapped his hand over Zayn's mouth and his words stifled. Why didn't Louis want to let him keep talking? He had to tell Harry that. It was important even if Zayn didn't know why.</em> <em>Completely shocked, Louis, Brandon and Luke looked at him. Zayn raised an eyebrow in question.</em></p><p>“<em>Zayn, what on earth is that supposed to do?” asked Louis him in disbelief.</em></p><p>“<em>Ha-ha, he's just kidding. He's certainly still over the moon due to the gig or pissed-off drunk. We'll take him with us” came Niall now to the rescue still with food in his mouth. </em>“<em>Why don't you two go to Vilu and see how the girls are? We're taking over the problem here” he added, slightly demanding. Brandon and Luke understood immediately and went over to the girls, still stunned.</em></p><p>
  <em>Why did Niall have to interfere now? Go eat something, Spanish Diablo. Zayn had to clarify something important here.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>While Niall sent Luke and Brandon away, Zayn looked at Liam. He looked perfect in the light of the auditorium, easy to bite. His eyes were bright and his lips were so tempting. He wanted to be with him, be alone with him. He wanted him.</em>
</p><p>“<em>Well, that just a minute ago was the truth and he almost said too much” mumbled Louis quietly.</em></p><p>“<em>Almost too much? That was too much. What could have been worse than that?” snapped Harry angrily.</em></p><p>“<em>There are worse things than that Harry. Zayn could have blurted out something ten times worse” replied Niall and immediately Louis struck him in the ribs stunned and with an evil glare on his face. </em><em>Oh yes, please Niall, tell him everything.</em><em> Zayn wanted Niall to tell him what Zayn couldn't say, but he didn't. Zayn pouted even if that couldn't be seen underneath Louis' hand.</em></p><p>“<em>You deserved it, Harry”.</em></p><p>“<em>Liam, how can you say that?” asked Niall in surprise.</em></p><p>“<em>You haven't been here. You didn't hear what this homophobe said” glared Liam at him. </em><em>Whoa, Zayn had never seen Liam that angry and disappointed. Apparently, Harry's words had hurt him very much. What exactly did he say?</em></p><p>“<em>Let me guess, our parents think we sleep with you?” raised Louis an eyebrow. Liam just nodded.</em></p><p>
  <em>What? Why should anyone except for him sleep with Liam? Angrily, Zayn bit into Louis' hand, who took his hand from Zayn's mouth and shook it violently, because it hurt so much.</em>
</p><p>“<em>Ouch” yelled Louis when Zayn bit his hand.</em></p><p>“<em>He has to get out of here very quickly” stated Niall with wide eyes.</em></p><p>“<em>Hello, guys. You're enjoying the party?” asked Mrs. Stewart, who suddenly appeared next to them. Zayn's eyes started to sparkle evilly.</em></p><p>“<em>Yes, but we have to leave for a sec” wanted Niall to leave as soon as possible. Liam went ahead while Niall and Louis pulled Zayn away.</em></p><p>“<em>Harry would love the party even better if he got head. He wanted to fuck you forever” chuckled Zayn and winked at them. </em></p><p>
  <em>Their faces were priceless. Harry was completely frozen while Mrs. Stewart turned bright red. What was their problem? Zayn just did that because this was her last day and Harry wanted to fuck her since day one, so why not now? Honesty was the key.</em>
</p><p>“<em>That came unexpectedly” laughed Niall half-heartedly.</em></p><p>“<em>Harry's face was indescribable” agreed Liam.</em></p><p>“<em>Guys, problem here. Zayn has to get out of here” Louis reminded them, causing Zayn to pout. Why did they want him somewhere else? It's so much fun.</em></p><p>“<em>We have a problem. There's no direct way out of here to that room, just outside and that's not possible. So we'll have to go across the auditorium to the other side again” stated Liam.</em></p><p>“<em>Why didn’t we do that from the start?” wailed Louis dramatically.</em></p><p>“<em>That can be fun” sighed Niall breathlessly.</em></p><p>
  <em>They dragged Zayn with them with a firm grip on his arms. Zayn tried to free himself, but it didn't work. On their way to the other side of the room, they passed Cecilia and Tiffany with some friends. Cecilia was wearing a pretty ugly dress tonight. And she was one of the popular girls? Maybe she was good in bed.</em>
</p><p>“<em>Hey Cecilia, did you steal my abused childhood blanket?” asked Zayn, pointing to her checked dress. She glared shocked at him.</em></p><p>“<em>I'd rather not eat that, Tiffy. That's pretty disgusting, though you're used to stuffing used things in your mouth and choke on it. You should write songs about it” chuckled Zayn when he saw how Tiffany wanted to eat one of those disgusting sugar things. But she was used to sucking different dicks every day without ever getting a boyfriend. So maybe that wasn't the problem.</em></p><p>“<em>You have so many pimples in your face” grimaced Zayn as he passed a teacher, he has never seen before. Did he ever hear of cleaning?</em></p><p>“<em>Sorry, he's a little crazy” smiled Liam faked. Was he ashamed of Zayn?</em></p><p>“<em>Louis, what's going on here? Why is Zayn behaving so strangely?” asked Violetta as they passed her and the others. </em><em>Niall and Louis pushed Zayn into Liam's arms and pointed to the door. </em></p><p><em>Immediately, Liam dragged Zayn with him until they finally arrived at the other hallway away from anyone. Zayn felt so good in Liam's arms that he whimpered slightly as Liam let him go to look</em> <em>around.</em></p><p>“<em>Don't let me go, Li” pleaded Zayn, pulling at Liam's arm.</em></p><p>“<em>Zayn, I have to concentrate,” said Liam, trying to pull his arm away, but Zayn held him tight.</em></p><p>“<em>But I need you” pouted Zayn.</em></p><p>“<em>I'm not leaving you. I just have to make sure nobody is here” told Liam him.</em></p><p>“<em>Really? You are not leaving me?” hooked Zayn hopefully.</em></p><p>“<em>Why do you think I would leave you?” Liam wanted to know.</em></p><p>“<em>If I told you what I feel you would leave me” claimed Zayn like a child.</em></p><p>“<em>What are you talking about, Z?” Liam didn't understand a word.</em></p><p>“<em>Liam, I have something to tell you” began Zayn, taking Liam's hand.</em></p><p>“<em>You're scaring me” admitted Liam.</em></p><p>“<em>I wrote my song about you, but I was too scared to tell you that. When we were out at the ocean I really wanted to kiss you, but I didn't do it and I've regretted that since then. That's why I wrote that song, but you didn't understand, as always. You never understand my hints, Liam” confessed Zayn to him.</em></p><p>
  <em>Shocked and stunned, Liam looked at Zayn. “You're not serious, Zayn”.</em>
</p><p>“<em>I am, Liam. As serious as ever. I should have kissed you. That's why I'm doing it now” announced Zayn and put his other hand on Liam's cheek.</em></p><p>“<em>Zayn, No. I'm not ...” Liam wanted to say, but Zayn already pressed his lips to Liam's and kissed him with all his repressed feelings for the boy in front of him. </em></p><p>
  <em>Liam was frozen and didn't move. He had opened his eyes widely and held his breath, but Zayn hardly noticed that. But he realized that Liam didn't return the kiss, causing Zayn to frown.</em>
</p><p>“<em>Guys, we need to get out of here. Harry, we can forget for today. Let's just go into this room” urged Louis them hurriedly.</em></p><p>
  <em>Zayn momentarily let go of Liam, who stared at him with wide eyes. Niall also stood rooted to the spot and said nothing. A weird feeling grew in Zayn's stomach. Why were they all so shocked? Why was Liam acting like this now?</em>
</p><p>“<em>Guys, come on. That was the moon. You know that. Let's just go” told Louis them. </em><em>This time they did what he asked, but the shock was still written on Liam's face. Liam didn't look him in the eye and avoided his presence. That hurt Zayn a lot.</em></p><p>“<em>Wow, from one make out to the next. The moon is pretty messed up” said Niall.</em></p><p>
  <em>Finally, they reached the room and closed the door behind them. Sighing, they dropped onto the cushions and immediately, Zayn fell asleep.</em>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“Zayn, talk to me. What's up?” shook Louis his shoulders.</p><p>“I messed up big time” sighed Zayn and a tear ran down his cheek.</p><p>“I don't understand a word” frowned Louis.</p><p>“Tommy, I remember everything. It was awful” told Zayn him.</p><p>“Oh Shit. It'll be all right, Joey. Do you want to tell me what happened?” asked Louis carefully.</p><p>Zayn looked at his friend and swallowed hard. “I told Liam that the song was about him and then told him how much I wanted to kiss him, which I did against his will. He wanted to stop me, but I just attacked him. He didn't kiss me back and since then he's out of my way. I messed up everything” told Zayn him and let out his tears.</p><p>Louis moved closer to him and took him into his arms. Calmingly, he drew small circles on Zayn's back. “You should talk to him. Make it clear that this was the moon”.</p><p>“But that wasn't just the moon. I really wanted to kiss him for so long. Liam knows when I'm lying” countered Zayn helplessly.</p><p>“I know what you mean, but maybe you can convince him that it came only from the moon and you didn't mean it seriously. Then you would still be friends” mused Louis.</p><p>“That might work. Why, why does he not love me, Tommy?” sniffled Zayn sadly, burying his face in Louis' shoulder.</p><p>“Easy, Joey. We can handle this. Together” he whispered reassuringly to Zayn.</p><p>Louis' soft words did Zayn's soul well. He was always there for him and always tried to help him. Zayn was very grateful for that. Especially now he needed a good friend like Louis. Now that his world was in ruins.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>---&gt;</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Stop talking such crap, Liam. That's not what it was about at all” sighed Niall desperately into his phone. He paced up and down, trying to silence Liam.</p><p>“My God, that was the moon. Just talk to him. We've talked about something else” grew Niall increasingly annoyed.</p><p>“What's so bad about it? I just don't get it. You're so close anyway” Niall didn't understand the whole problem. “Well, I didn't say anything. Can we come back to the topic?”.</p><p>“Are you serious? That's why I called in a hurry. Did you even listen to me?” he asked stunned. Liam at the other end of the line tried to find an explanation or excuse, but Niall didn't believe him. “Liam, be quiet now! I called you because I'm worried about Louis, again”.</p><p>“Why? Do you hear badly? He cried in his sleep and whimpered as if his life was at stake. These weren't normal nightmares, there's something wrong. I want …” repeated Niall but stopped when he realized that Harry was standing in front of him and looked at him questioningly. How could he not notice that someone had come over to him?</p><p>“Liam, I have to hang up now. I'll call you back” Niall quickly finished the conversation without waiting for Liam's answer. “What do you want?” he asked Harry without hesitation.</p><p>“Can I talk to you? You're the only one who might listen to me” pleaded Harry with his pleading eyes.</p><p>Actually, Niall wanted to say no because of what Harry had said. Yes, Liam had told him everything verbatim. But something in Niall took pity on Harry, so he just nodded and they sat down in the far corner of the Sea Snack Café to talk.</p><p>“Is everything alright with Louis? Does he need anything?” asked Harry and Niall realized that he had heard everything.</p><p>“That doesn't matter now. What did you want to talk about?” bypassed Niall the question.</p><p>“I wanted to talk about yesterday. I wanted to apologize” replied Harry, but he didn't look at Niall.</p><p>“Why apologize if you meant everything seriously and besides, you shouldn't apologize to me but to Brandon and Luke or at least to Liam” dismissed Niall him coldly.</p><p>“I know and yet, I'm here with you. I don't know how to explain it. For that, I need to understand myself first” sighed Harry desperately.</p><p>Niall studied Harry attentively. He nervously played with the straps on his wrist, avoiding any eye contact. He really looked out of himself. As if his whole existence would collapse over him and there would be no way out.</p><p>“Say yourself. No matter what you think, just say it, let it all out without thinking. I'm listening to you” decided Niall to give him a chance to understand himself. Harry looked at him in surprise. He probably hadn't expected that answer. A slight smile formed on his lips for a short while before he considered what he should say.</p><p>“First of all, unfortunately, I have to admit that I meant everything I said yesterday, to Brandon and Luke but also to Louis and Liam, at this very moment. Again. I was really disgusted and wanted the two to disappear and wished for a fraction of a second you four would all be straight because that would be easier for me and for everyone else” began Harry to explain.</p><p>At these words, Niall tried not to get upset and just wait and see what he had to say. After all, he had told him he would listen to him no matter what he said. Still, those words made him angry because it was really cruel to think something like that, at least in Niall's eyes.</p><p>“But as soon as the words were uttered out and I had one second to see your faces and think about my own words, which I haven't done all my life, I was suddenly ashamed of everything I said and I don't know where this feeling is coming from. This is something completely new to me and I don't know if I like it. It was like a voice was suddenly telling me it was wrong and what a terrible person I am if I meant it seriously. My words were addressed only to Brandon and Luke, but when it was already too late I realized that I also insulted Zayn and Louis, and lately also Liam, and I didn't want that. And that made me ponder. If I didn't condemn the three for it and it's okay, why do I make such an uprising if it's somebody else? I have no answer to that question. I haven't thought so much in my whole life. Never thought about the effects or background of my words. Never questioned my unconscious reactions, just ignored them. Until I let you into my life”.</p><p>“Since then it's different. Suddenly thoughts pop up in my head that I just want to forget. Why do I question everything that was normal for me once? Why does something in me suddenly want to take into account the feelings of people and do everything to see someone laugh instead of putting down someone, which I used to enjoy but not anymore? Can one call this a guilty conscience? Where does it come from? Am I losing myself? Where do I get all these questions from?”.</p><p>“Do you see? That's exactly what I mean. I wouldn't have asked myself such questions half a year ago. I wouldn't care. I would do the same as always and fuck someone, but what do I do? I'm racking my brain over all these sudden questions. Last night I was able to distract myself a bit if you understand what I mean. But right afterwards, this voice spoke up again and leaves me no peace and now I am here. What's going on here, Niall?” asked Harry innumerable questions to himself, expressing everything that had been bubbling in him for weeks, but he had tried to ignore.</p><p>Completely stunned and speechless, Niall stared at Harry and didn't know what to say. That was one hundred per cent honesty and openness, a look into his soul and his heart, which wasn't as cold as it was supposed to be. Niall had expected everything but not that. Nobody could come up with that. Only the truth could bring that out.</p><p>“Harry, I honestly don't know what to say. I'm speechless” breathed Niall out.</p><p>“I see, but thanks for listening. I'm a freak. I'm going crazy” sighed Harry, wanting to get up, but Niall stopped him.</p><p>“I didn't mean it like that. I'm positively surprised and I just don't know how to handle it” explained Niall differently.</p><p>“I don't understand what you mean” frowned Harry confused.</p><p>“I just expected something completely different and your words took me by surprise, but in a good way. I never thought to hear that from you and apparently, you didn't either” tried Niall to explain a bit more.</p><p>“Oh. Yeah, I wouldn't have expected anything like that” understood Harry, leaning his head on his hands.</p><p>“I really don't know what to say about it except that I'm proud of you, what sounds pretty batty and now don't look at me like that. I'm just saying that it's good that you're thinking and questioning things, even if you maybe don't understand why yet” wrestled Niall for the right words.</p><p>“What's so good about worrying so much?” raised Harry an eyebrow.</p><p>“Using your head is a good thing, first. Running around the world without thinking, insulting people meaninglessly or shitting shit is stupid and that's not what makes life good. Using your head can't hurt you, it can only make you move forward. Like this, you understand yourself better and maybe find out what you want in life without listening to what someone else wants to tell you. This voice you're talking about could be called a subconscious. It sounds to me like it's finally awakening and wants to show you new things, show you what's important. No idea, maybe a new, better perspective on life. Does that make sense? Probably not” reflected Niall weirdly.</p><p>“Normally I would say you're stupid, but that kind of makes sense. That's the way it feels; like something was trying to tell or show me or make it clear, but I don't know what. Why does my subconscious mind want to change my view of life? What's wrong with my old life?” furrowed Harry his eyebrows together.</p><p>“Should I really answer that question?” looked Niall at him crookedly.</p><p>“I know what you said about me, no reason to repeat that. Although maybe you should tell me exactly what in my life is shit in your opinion, why you never wanted me. Maybe I'll understand then whatever it wants to tell me” suggested Harry suddenly.</p><p>“Are you serious?” asked Niall him confused. Harry just nodded. “Well, okay. It's like that. We never said that your life was shit, just superficial and degrading. You say it over and over again: money, power and sex are the most important things for you. You want to finish school as fast as possible and then, quite like your father, become a businessman and sink into power and money with constant fucks in between. And that's exactly what we just can't understand. Could of course be our mistake, no one says anything else”.</p><p>“For us, there is more to life than just asking who has the money or is driving the biggest car. At the end of our lives, we want to look back and see something more important than being 24/7 in the office. We want fun; friendship; trust and love to look back on; the people who were always there for us; the things we've experienced; the trials we've mastered. A happy and fulfilling life full of friendship and love”.</p><p>“No one says that being career-oriented is bad, but one shouldn't forget about the important things in life. Money doesn't make you happy. You can't buy happiness and love. This superficiality and falseness annoys us. I know you don't believe in love, but it does exist when you aren't expecting it and are ready to do something and not give it up. I would give up everything for my boys and my mother and they would do the same for me. We trust each other with our lives. That's why our worlds don't match, Harry. The reasons are deeper than just finding your arrogance annoying, believe me,” explained Niall to him the real reasons why they never came to grips and why they kept coming up against each other.</p><p>When Niall took a closer look at Harry, he realized that he was deep in thought. Probably, he tried to understand Niall's words, which was pretty much all of a sudden, but he had asked. Now the moment had come. The deciding moment, if Harry could understand and comprehend it, or if he thought it was ridiculous and so it was clear that they would never agree and their worlds just weren't made for each other. Were Harry and them just too different or was there hope?</p><p>“I thought life was all about power and money. Sitting in a suit in your office on the fiftieth floor with a hot secretary and not having a spare second to think about anything. Coming late at night into your overpriced Villa with a big pool and taking a whiskey from the alcohol cupboard and to think about which yacht to buy next. At some point, through a one-night stand, getting a child, which then follows in your footsteps and becomes just as callous as yourself. Just like: destroy those who stand in your way without any regard for loss” said Harry after a felt eternity.</p><p>Niall looked at him disappointed and then lowered his eyes. Gone was the hope that he once had. These words were exactly what all these super-rich kids radiated. That's exactly what they wanted to achieve in life. But for what? Niall just didn't understand that. He didn't have much money but had a happy life. Was money really that important?</p><p>“But as it seems I was wrong”.</p><p>Perplexed, Niall looked at Harry, searching for the slightest sign that he was lying and making fun of him, but found nothing. “What?” he exclaimed in shock.</p><p>“When you said all that, I saw my father in front of me and his bleak life. So far this has never bothered me and I was set to live just like that later. I didn't want more, but I don't think I want that anymore. I want more than that. More than power connected with loneliness. What you said sounded like something you really want to have, something that is worth giving everything. No idea where that comes from and what I do with this, but I think I can be more than I've been so far, even though I have no idea how to do that. Yesterday showed that pretty well” surprised Harry Niall with newfound insight.</p><p>“Wow, Harry, this is the second time I'm speechless” brought Niall out.</p><p>“I'm sorry” lowered Harry his eyes.</p><p>“You don't have to be sorry. It's not bad, more the contrary. Harry, it's great that you see it that way. Insight is always the first step. Oh, now I sound like a therapist. Me myself and I are completely incompetent” laughed Niall and lit Harry with his laugh.</p><p>“Niall, what should I do now?” he asked for advice.</p><p>“I don't know. It's best to just listen to your subconscious mind from now on and try to understand what it's trying to tell you. Try to think before you speak, at least sometimes. I'll do that too rarely myself” told Niall him with a grin.</p><p>“That will probably be the best. That will not please my father though. And what do I do about the others? They certainly never want to talk to me again. This time for real” was Harry sure of it.</p><p>Niall looked thoughtfully at Harry. His father didn't seem to be the nicest person in the world. He hoped he wouldn't destroy this new Harry right away. Niall needed the help of his friends to protect Harry from it.</p><p>“I'd say, say sorry but I doubt that will help. You just have to prove that you're serious and that you can be different. I'll just make sure they don't marginalize you now, even if I could understand that” mused Niall uncertainly.</p><p>“Thank you, Niall, but you don't have to do that for me. It could be bad for you” declined Harry.</p><p>“And that alone shows that it's worth it. I'll talk to them, but first, maybe you should really apologize. That would be a start, even if it might not work. It’s the thought that counts” assured Niall him with a reassuring smile.</p><p>“You're right. I'll do that, starting with Luke and Brandon. Why are you even here? I thought you weren't working today” realized Harry suddenly.</p><p>“I'll jump in for a co-worker, but I'm off in an hour” explained Niall curtly.</p><p>“Fancy doing something then?” asked Harry hopefully.</p><p>“Sure, why not” smiled Niall at him.</p><p>“We could go to yours or m ..”.</p><p>“At mine is very bad, my mother has a visit. How about swimming?” interrupted Niall Harry abruptly. No matter how much he wanted to help, Harry would never get to know about Niall's living conditions. That was too risky. He would only treat him differently. That remained his little secret.</p><p>“Okay, sounds good” agreed Harry unknowingly to his suggestion. Harry looked like he wanted to ask something else, but then he decided against it.</p><p>Strangely, Niall wondered, while he went back to work, what Harry still wanted to ask him and why he hadn't dared. Did that have to do something with the overheard phone call? Niall feared it was. Somehow fate would have it that Harry became curious and constantly got shreds. But why? Explain yourself, destiny!</p><p> </p><p><br/>---&gt;</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Trembling and heartbroken, Zayn stood in front of Liam's door. For an eternity he went up and down in front of it but didn't dare to ring. He knew that no one else was here at that time. Zayn just had to talk to him and save their friendship, even though it tore his heart apart now to know for sure that Liam only saw him as a friend and never as more than that. After a long pause, he finally jumped on the bell and waited curiously if the door opened. He waited and waited but nothing happened. With his head bowed, he turned around and was about to go home when he heard the door open. He froze immediately and didn't dare to turn around.</p><p>“Zayn?” he heard Liam asking behind him.</p><p>Slowly, he turned around and met Liam's gaze carefully. Liam looked very pale and very nervous. Great, he had shocked his best friend for life, just because he had those stupid feelings for him. He had to fix that.</p><p>“Hi Liam, can I talk to you?” he asked in a lowered voice.</p><p>“Um, oh yes, of course” stammered Liam, letting Zayn in. Instead of going up to Liam's room, they sat down on the sofa and said nothing.</p><p>“I'm so terribly sorry, Liam. Louis told me what happened and then somehow I remembered everything. I didn't want that, Liam. That was the stupid moon. You have to believe me, Liam. I don't wanna lose you” interrupted Zayn the awkward silence by just banging on it. Liam just looked at him. “Liam, say something. Don't ignore me. You're my best friend”.</p><p>“Am I, Zayn?” asked Liam suddenly.</p><p>This question caught Zayn of guard. “Of course. What's the question?”.</p><p>“Sure that was just the moon or maybe you want to tell me something?” raised Liam his eyebrows expectantly.</p><p>“Why are you acting so repellent to me? I told you it was just the moon. Why should I lie to you? I know I took you by surprise and you didn't want that, but it wasn't me. I would never have done that, even if it hadn't been the moon I would never have done that. What's the problem? Would that make any difference?” Zayn wanted to know.</p><p>He tried desperately to keep the lie alive and not let the pain show, but that wasn't so easy. It's never easy to tell your crush you have no feelings for him, even though you do, with the full knowledge that the feelings will not be reciprocated.</p><p>“I don't want you to believe it would make a difference because it wouldn't. You would still be my best friend and that forever. I just wouldn't want to hurt you and would probably pull myself back, so that's why I'm really relieved. I'm sorry that I reacted so cold, but I was overwhelmed and I didn't know how to handle it. I was just afraid that you meant what you said because it sounded so honest. I don't know what I would do then. You are my best friend, Zayn” declared Liam finally himself.</p><p>Every word was like a slap to the face. Sure, Zayn had never had great hopes, but hearing it so clearly was incredibly painful.</p><p>“I assure you, Liam. It was just the moon, no more. Wasn't the first time the moon did something like that” swallowed Zayn the rejection and the pain and smiled at Liam.</p><p>“I'm relieved. The moon seems to love drama” breathed Liam out in relief.</p><p>“You can say that out loud” rolled Zayn his eyes, trying to relax. “Everything's good between us? No tension?” asked Zayn as a precaution.</p><p>“All good. It was just a kiss” assured Liam him. Ouch, that hurt. Zayn had to live with that from now on.</p><p>“I can also remember the incident with Harry. What are you going to do now?” changed Zayn the subject.</p><p>“I don't know. He was quite disappointing with his statement. I was too naïve. I know that now but excluding him now will probably be difficult. I just don't want to see him near you or Louis anymore. Now that we know how he really thinks” sighed Liam helplessly.</p><p>“We didn't need him in the old days. We will manage to live without him again. And you weren't too naïve. You just wanted to see the good in him. That's not bad. I wish I'd be less vindictive sometimes” told Zayn him gently.</p><p>“Somewhere in the middle of us would be the perfect way to handle it” chuckled Liam lightly.</p><p>“That's right. Hey, we can handle this” agreed Zayn with a smile.</p><p>“We will see it on Monday. I'm afraid Niall has other plans” said Liam unsure.</p><p>Zayn frowned, looking puzzled. “What do you mean?”.</p><p>“You will see then, but I think there is a new ship now in Niall's world” replied Liam mysteriously.</p><p>Zayn didn't understand a word. “Which one and what has that got to do with Harry?”.</p><p>Liam just looked at him and sighed heavily. “Narry”.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. 14.2 Band Or No Band?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>To say Monday morning was weird would really be understated. From the second Louis entered the school, he clearly sensed the change. Everyone was looking at Zayn and him, the two usually came together, smiled at them and every two seconds they were greeted by someone they had never met. Zayn and Louis just looked confused and headed for the English lesson the quickest way.</p><p>But during the lesson, Louis felt the other students looking at him, too. He couldn't tell whether the looks were good or bad. His whole life, well the last few years, he was used to bad looks with the following consequences. The looks now felt different, but still, he didn't like it. He would much rather go unnoticed through life without the need to please everyone.</p><p>The only thing Louis found even stranger than those looks was the fact that Niall was talking to Harry throughout the school lesson. They talked and tried not to laugh too loud. That Louis was still sitting next to him, Niall seemed to visibly ignore. In between, Zayn turned around to face him and gave him a questioning look, but Louis just shrugged and tried to follow the rest of the lesson.</p><p>In drama, Louis quickly sat down next to Violetta and engaged her in a conversation about something utterly insignificant to prevent Harry from thinking of joining him. Sure, that wasn't very nice, but first Louis wanted to find out what was going on here and why Niall suddenly seemed to be Harry's best friend.</p><p>After the lesson, Louis nearly ran into the cafeteria and almost crashed into Zayn.</p><p>“Whoa, why so eager, Tommy?” laughed Zayn amused.</p><p>“I just wanted to leave quickly. Do you have any idea what's going on with Harry and Niall, Joey?” asked Louis as the two sat down at the table.</p><p>“Not really. Liam hinted at something, but I don't know more than you” shrugged Zayn.</p><p>“Hey, you two, what's up? You look so weird” asked Liam as he sat down next to them.</p><p>“Wow, how nice of you, thank you. I know I'm ugly. You don't have to rub that in my face” said Louis sarcastically.</p><p>“Very funny, you comedian,” said Liam dryly.</p><p>“We were just wondering what's going on with Harry and Niall” intervened Zayn informative.</p><p>“And I'd like to know why everybody is staring. Did I miss something?” added Louis perplexed.</p><p>“I would like to know that too” agreed Liam.</p><p>“One of those we'll get a response to right away. There are Niall and Harry” pointed Zayn to the door.</p><p>And indeed, Niall and Harry came into the cafeteria together and seemed to be talking about something. The two of them were also stared at by their classmates, but they didn't seem to notice, so absorbed in their conversation.</p><p>“You were great on Friday. Are you going to perform again?” a random girl asked the two suddenly.</p><p>“Oh, that would be great. Do you already have a band name?” another girl wanted to know.</p><p>“Yo, great performance, respect. You were really good” patted an unknown guy on Niall's shoulder.</p><p>Liam, Zayn and Louis looked at each other and the enlightenment was written on their faces. The concert. But wait a second. Not everyone has been there. Only the students who had Mrs. Stewart in class. How did the others know about it?</p><p>“Those were really great songs and you five are really good together, but my favourites are Zouis,” another girl told them excitedly.</p><p>“You're my favourite, Niall” a brunette girl flirted with him.</p><p>“Oh, but nothing is better than Larry. You two are so cute. I never thought you would swing this way, Harry, but you are so cute together” grinned a blonde girl. Did she just say Larry? As in Harry and Louis? That came unexpectedly. Louis didn't know what to think. What did they do that people thought they were cute together?</p><p>“You're crazy. That's ridiculous. Larry is non-existent. Absolute Bullshit. Pathetic. I am straight” spat Harry coldly.</p><p>Ouch, that hit Louis hard. That ice-cold voice and that rejection. A cold chill ran down his spine. With this statement, Harry had made something very clear again. Even if Louis had no crush and he would never want to be with Harry, these words would mean that there was no chance for a friendship. That would hang over them forever like a sword. Ready to destroy any bond that they could build. His words shouldn't hurt Louis so much, but they did anyway. Something had happened to him in the last week, but this something was broken at this moment again. More shards were now gathering on the bottom of Louis' heart or what was left of it.</p><p>“Aye, what a circus” laughed Niall as he joined them, followed by Harry, who sat down next to him.</p><p>Liam and Zayn moved even closer to Louis, who was sitting in between them so there was a huge space between them and Harry and Niall. They were sitting at one table, but it seemed more like two separate groups that had nothing to do with each other. Niall didn't seem to like that. Harry just looked at his food and poked around in it.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>From Nialler @Magical Freaks (Group chat):</b>
</p><p>“<em>Is that your answer to everything?”.</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <b>From Lima, Jonno and Zaddy:</b>
</p><p>“<em>Yes”.</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <b>From Nialler:</b>
</p><p>“<em>Wow, how grown-up”.</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <b>From Lima:</b>
</p><p>“<em>Niall, you know what he said. How do you want to be friends with a guy like him? He's a homophobic asshole who's too overpowered by himself. He proved that himself on Friday”.</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <b>From Nialler:</b>
</p><p>“<em>Liam, how can you say that, where is the Liam, who has no prejudices?”.</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <b>From Zaddy:</b>
</p><p>“<em>Don't think of him as the evil one now, that aren't prejudices, only conclusions that he drew after everything that happened”.</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <b>From Lima:</b>
</p><p>“<em>It's good, Zayn”.</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <b>From Nialler:</b>
</p><p>“<em>I can understand that, but there's more to it than you think”.</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <b>From Zaddy:</b>
</p><p>“<em>Let me guess, he told you a touching family story to knock you soft? I told you that doesn't exist, so no matter what he said, it's a lie”.</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <b>From Nialler:</b>
</p><p>“<em>Zayn, stop being so vindictive and use your brain. Unlike you, I've taken the time to listen to his side of the</em> <em>story”.</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <b>From Zaddy:</b>
</p><p>“<em>How gracious of you”.</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <b>From Jonno:</b>
</p><p>“<em>Joey, let him explain it all”.</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <b>From Nialler:</b>
</p><p>“<em>Thank you, Jonno, it's all a bit complicated and not easy to explain by text, but he really regrets it, believe me, what he said was so desperate and weird, you can't make that up”.</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <b>From Jonno:</b>
</p><p>“<em>I'd like to hear your explanation longer, but don't expect us to become friends, he said so himself, Larry is bullshit”.</em></p><p> </p><p>Just as Niall wanted to answer that text, another message popped up outside of the chat.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>From Harry:</b>
</p><p>“<em>You have a group chat? :(“.</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <b>From Niall:</b>
</p><p>“<em>Did you read all this?”.</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <b>From Harry:</b>
</p><p>“<em>I'm sorry, but your phone is right in front of my meal”.</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <b>From Niall:</b>
</p><p>“<em>It's okay, that's not your fault”.</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Nialler added Harry / Unwanted / Harold to the group chat.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>From Harry / Unwanted / Harold:</b>
</p><p>“<em>I'm really sorry for what I said. I didn't think. I know it doesn't matter what I say, it makes no difference, but I promise you I'll prove to you that I'm serious”.</em></p><p> </p><p>Louis looked up from his phone now and right into Harry's eyes. The eyes he once found irresistible against his will. He couldn't see a lie in them, just pure despair and the wish for someone to believe him. Of course, he could be wrong, as he was before, but he was fed up with the constant drama. He wanted to draw a line.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>From Jonno / Buttercup / Tommy:</b>
</p><p>“<em>Alright, Harry. On a reboot”.</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <b>From Zaddy/Joey:</b>
</p><p>“<em>What?”.</em></p><p> </p><p>“For fuck’s sake, guys. Can we stop acting so narrow-minded? First, off with the phones. Can't we talk anymore? And second, we shouldn't be vindictive and unforgiving anymore. It doesn't do any of us good” broke Louis the silence and looked at his friends expectantly.</p><p>“Have fun. I don't trust him one bit” sulked Zayn grumpy.</p><p>“I didn't speak of trust Zayn, but of forgetting and forgiving and just living on,” said Louis more clearly.</p><p>“Maybe I can do that, but only for you” replied Zayn moody.</p><p>Louis smiled at him for that and the anger disappeared from Zayn's face. He felt more than two eyes on him, but he shrugged it off. Louis wanted to stop being so paranoid. Why should somebody constantly watch him?</p><p>“Let's hope that this time it is not in vain” finished Liam the topic.</p><p>“Hey guys, you're alright?” greeted Violetta them joyfully.</p><p>“Hey Vilu, all right. And you? Why are you grinning like that?” asked Louis sceptically.</p><p>“Have you not seen it yet?” she asked in confusion.</p><p>“Seen what?” Niall didn't understand a word.</p><p>Sighing, she pulled out her phone and picked something out. When she found it, she put it in the middle of the table and the boys looked confused on the screen. It was a video from Friday night. Of their performance.</p><p>“I don't understand. How can that be?” asked Liam blankly.</p><p>“You already have thousands of views on the videos on Triple Tube. You're almost famous” was Violetta more pleased than the boys themselves. <em>(A fictional website like YouTube)</em></p><p>“That explains why everybody is staring at us” noted Zayn in realisation.</p><p>“But how did that get there? I mean, who filmed us?” Louis still didn't understand that.</p><p>“Um, I'm afraid that was us. Max and I wanted to capture this moment forever. And later at home, we thought why not. Are you angry?” cleared Violetta her throat and scratched her neck awkwardly</p><p>“Why should I be angry? I'm just taken by surprise and a little speechless. I would not have expected that” replied Louis baffled.</p><p>“We thought you were too talented to keep it from the world. Sorry if we went too far” she apologized again.</p><p>“All right, Vilu. That's really nice of you. The support is unparalleled, thank you” assured Liam her with a smile.</p><p>“Then I can ask you the big question. Will you stay as a band or was it a one-time thing?” she asked expectantly.</p><p>The boys looked at each other briefly, thought of Mrs. Stewart's words and looked then back at Violetta.</p><p>“Obviously gonna stay as a band”.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. 15. Under The Surface</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I noticed in the last chapter it said Jonno instead of Tommo (for example). I don't know why but please, ignore it until I have the time to change it.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>“That sounds awful” covered Niall his ears with a laugh, dropping with his back on Harry's bed.</p><p>“It's not that bad” sulked Liam and crossed his arms over his chest.</p><p>“We will not call ourselves Water Move” laughed Louis with an emerging hiccup.</p><p>“Your ideas haven't been so great either”.</p><p>“Now don't sulk, Lima. We love you despite your terrible ideas” teased Niall him.</p><p>“Then suggest something better” grumbled Liam.</p><p>“Tommo, the tease friends,” said Niall seriously.</p><p>“That sounds like a name of a stripper group” laughed Zayn, shaking his head.</p><p>“Maybe we should consider that” tapped Niall his finger against his chin.</p><p>“Why on earth am I a tease?” asked Louis in surprise.</p><p>“Is that a serious question?” looked Niall at him stunned.</p><p>“Enlighten me, Darling”.</p><p>“It's your ass, Baby. The whole world is falling down in front of your knees” joked Niall with a little too much seriousness behind his words.</p><p>“Sounds like a lot of choices for a BJ here and there” mused Zayn.</p><p>“Zayn!” exclaimed Louis in horror, punching him in the shoulder, but Zayn just started to laugh.</p><p>“Just shake your ass in front of people and you see everyone fainting with happiness” joined Niall in the laughter.</p><p>“You two are impossible. How many times should I tell you that my precious ass only belongs to me? You two have lost any right to it “protested Louis, and immediately both of them stopped laughing and looked at him dumbfounded.</p><p>“You cannot do that. How am I supposed to live now?” whined Niall dramatically.</p><p>“If you're such a tease to us I don't want to know how it is with other people and during other things” grinned Zayn and Louis punched his elbow in Zayn's ribs.</p><p>“Oh, you have no idea” murmured Harry softly, but not quite enough so that none of them heard. Somewhat surprised, the four of them looked at him and in Harry's face, Niall could see clearly that he was just aware of what he had said. Wasn't planned to say that.</p><p>At the same moment, there was a light knock on the door and a few seconds later a blonde girl in a black uniform came in. She had a tablet in her hand with five glasses and gave them a friendly smile.</p><p>“Did I say come in?” spat Harry at her annoyed.</p><p>“I'm sorry, Sir. It will not happen again” she apologized embarrassed, put down the tablet and disappeared from the room again.</p><p>Niall frowned, staring after the girl. He knew Harry had servants for everything, but can't you be nicer with them? Apparently, he was not the only one that thought so, because immediately he felt the reproachful looks of his friends who wanted to say, '<em>you see, he is still the same</em>', and Niall just didn't want to hear that. They hadn't seen Harry when he had spoken to Niall and had poured his heart out to him. Somewhere deep inside Harry was a good guy and Niall was willing to help him out as good as possible, but he didn't make it easy for him.</p><p>“Well, back to the band name. Who else has an idea?” cleared Niall his throat and gave his friends an all-saying look.</p><p>“What else did Mrs. Stewart say to us after the performance?” asked Harry suddenly.</p><p>“It was clear you didn't remember that” mocked Zayn patronizingly.</p><p>“Why do you wanna know? What does that have to do with the band name?” Liam didn't understand.</p><p>“She said something that sounded like a good name in my memory, but I don't remember what it was” explained Harry more accurate.</p><p>“You sure it was what she said after the show or was that later that night?” challenged Zayn him.</p><p>“Are you suggesting anything?” countered Harry.</p><p>“Why suggest if everyone knows. You don't even have to try to deny it. We all know you fucked Mrs. Stewart, which is kinda gross and illegal” let Zayn him know.</p><p>Niall immediately looked at Harry, who was already looking at him. He probably thought he had something to do with it now. Harry had never told him that it was her who he was talking about, so how did he come to think Niall had anything to do with it?</p><p>“Don't look at me like that. You never told me that, but you didn't need to” defended Niall himself.</p><p>“What do you mean by that?”.</p><p>“We've seen you, Harold. Hard to miss in the middle of the hallway and hard to overhear” told Louis him with a peculiar expression.</p><p>Niall tried to give him a subtle encouraging smile as he remembered Louis' reaction. Even though Louis claimed he didn't have a crush anymore, Niall was sure he still cared and it hurt, again and again, every time something like this happened.</p><p>Harry looked at Louis wide-eyed and paused for a moment before he looked blank again. “I don't have to justify myself. It's my life. I can do whatever I want”.</p><p>“Nobody said anything else. No judging” replied Louis shortly.</p><p>“Just use your brain, then you'll remember what she said. Her voice is stored anyway” proposed Zayn evilly.</p><p>“Zayn. It's enough. Let it be. It's getting ridiculous” admonished Niall him.</p><p>“Oh, do you think so?”.</p><p>“Yes, if you have to ask”.</p><p>“Guys please, this doesn't have to be” tried Liam to prevent a fight.</p><p>“Say that to Zayn. He behaves like a stubborn immature child” pouted Niall annoyed.</p><p>“Me? And what about you? Since when are you mature?” shot Zayn back.</p><p>“Guys, stop it. There's no need to argue. You disagree with each other. Just accept the other's opinion and then it's over” interposed Louis. Both looked at him silently and didn't know what to say.</p><p>“One Direction” called Harry suddenly.</p><p>“What?” Liam and Niall asked simultaneously.</p><p>“Now he's completely crazy” huffed Zayn.</p><p>“Let him speak first,” said Louis and Zayn grumbled offended.</p><p>“One Direction. That's the perfect name for the band” repeated Harry excitedly.</p><p>“How did you come up with that?” asked Liam curiously.</p><p>“Beth said there is only one direction for us and that is up to the top. We have something she can't put into words. Almost like it was fate and we all know it kinda was” explained Harry more detailed.</p><p>“Beth, Uh yeah” mocked Zayn him softly and Niall and Louis chuckled softly.</p><p>“Mh, would be a possibility” mused Liam, but sounded little convinced.</p><p>“That's a pretty corny name” noted Louis foxily.</p><p>“Sounds very tight. Is there really only one direction for us given by fate or do you mean that for yourself?” questioned Zayn the band name.</p><p>“Save me your ambiguous gay jokes. They're not funny” snapped Harry.</p><p>“Niall, check it out,” asked Louis him before Zayn could say something.</p><p>“And a big round of applause; here is One Direction” announced Niall in his announcer's voice as if they were at a concert.</p><p>“Sounds okay to me” shrugged Liam.</p><p>“Come on, guys. Admit that the name sounds good. You just don't want to say it because it's Harry’s idea” rolled Louis his eyes.</p><p>“Didn't you just say the name was corny?” grinned Zayn teasingly.</p><p>“The name is good and done. Liam doesn't care anyway and Niall agrees with me. So Zayn, you're out of tune” averted Louis the question.</p><p>“Aye, don't be so prickly, Romeo” chuckled Zayn quietly.</p><p>“Are we just singing or does anyone apart from Niall play an instrument?” asked Liam thoughtfully.</p><p>“I'd like to stick to the vocals. It worked well” suggested Niall.</p><p>“We could also have you as a guitarist, Louis as a pianist and I play the drums as good as I can” laughed Zayn lightly.</p><p>“You play piano?” asked Harry Louis surprised.</p><p>“Um, yes. For a while” cleared Louis his throat.</p><p>“Do you play any instrument, Harry?” tried Niall to solve the tension. Where did it come from?</p><p>“I'm handy with the guitar, too” boasted Harry, making Niall laugh.</p><p>“Handy, yeah?” checked Zayn cockily.</p><p>“Yeah, I'm good at that” ignored Harry Zayn's resonant undertone.</p><p>“Really? On a scale of one to ten, how good are you at using your fingers?” asked Louis with a raised eyebrow.</p><p>“Oh, you have to know that” whispered Zayn naughtily.</p><p>“You can't just say things like that, Shorty” wailed Harry indignantly, cheeks flushing red.</p><p>“Why? I thought it was a valid question. After all, you yourself said you were handy. What did you think of? I would say a ten, don't you think? Or do you think you're worse?” challenged Louis him. Harry swallowed hard and gasped. The eye contact became more intense.</p><p>“So, One Direction. We can tell Violetta that so she can change that in the videos” clapped Niall into his hands to lighten the situation.</p><p>“Sounds like a plan” agreed Liam quickly.</p><p>“I have to go to the loo” mumbled Harry and left the room.</p><p>“What was that?” attacked Niall directly Louis and Zayn angrily.</p><p>“What? That was just a harmless joke” shrugged Zayn unbothered.</p><p>“Did you see his face?”.</p><p>“Niall, what's your problem? You suggested to me that I should turn the tables and make him feel uncomfortable, forgot it already? It was your idea. What speaks against sexual innuendos? He does worse all the time” asked Louis blankly.</p><p>“Yes, but I ... you're right, it was my idea. I don't know. I just felt so sorry for him” sighed Niall defeated.</p><p>“Why? That was just fun” wondered Zayn.</p><p>“I can't explain it,” said Niall, wondering for himself where that came from. After all, it has been his idea and it was still a great idea. Mostly, to help Louis cope with it in a funny way until it's okay for him. But also for Harry, so that he maybe understood at one point how it felt to make someone feel uncomfortable.</p><p>A knock on the door tore Niall out of his thoughts. Liam mumbled a quiet ‘<em>come in’</em> because Harry wasn't there and revealed the same girl who brought them glasses earlier.</p><p>“I was told to ask you if you want to eat something,” she said shyly.</p><p>“Oh no” sighed Liam amused.</p><p>“Well, not for me. Thank you” declined Niall thankfully, whereupon his friends stared at him in astonishment.</p><p>“Niall, are you all right? Are you sick?” asked Zayn playfully.</p><p>“Oh no, you're not Niall but a clone” gasped Louis dramatically.</p><p>“I just don't want to make her work even more” explained Niall his motivations.</p><p>“Don't worry, Sir. That's no problem” she assured him.</p><p>“Please, call me Niall. I'm not a Sir” offered Niall her politely.</p><p>“Okay, if you want that” she smiled at him.</p><p>“I'm Louis. What's your name?” stood Louis up and shook her hand.</p><p>Hesitantly, she shook his hand. “My name is Sarah”.</p><p>“Sarah, a beautiful name” smiled Louis. “These are Zayn and Liam”.</p><p>“Hey, Sarah” the two greeted her.</p><p>“Nice to meet you. And you are friends of Sir Harry?” she asked visibly confused.</p><p>“Well, I wouldn't call it that. No idea what we are” grimaced Louis thoughtfully.</p><p>“We're a band” shouted Niall in high spirits.</p><p>“Really? I didn't know that he was musical. Oh, I shouldn't have said that. Sorry” paled the poor girl.</p><p>“You don't have to apologise. Don't worry about what you’re saying in our beingness. We will not tell Harry. Believe me, we were surprised too. So many times” calmed Louis Sarah down immediately.</p><p>“So, you're his maid? Doesn't that have to be terrible? With all the pressure and compulsion” asked Zayn suddenly.</p><p>“I don't understand what you mean” frowned Sarah confused.</p><p>“Zayn, do you want to accuse Harry of using his power-position to fuck his maid?” asked Niall in horror.</p><p>“That's not unlikely for him. We're talking about Harry here” answered Zayn unfazed.</p><p>“That's not meant to be an insult, but it's way below his level and far beyond it at the same time. He fucks only rich girls who need it and throw themselves at his feet. He has his standards” clarified Niall oddly.</p><p>“Weren't you his new best friend?” wondered Zayn confused.</p><p>“That doesn't mean I approve of that” stated Niall surely.</p><p>“There's something in there, but recently he lowered his standards” though Zayn out loud.</p><p>“Guys, it's enough now. That's his business alone. That's none of our business” interposed Louis, who was still standing next to Sarah.</p><p>“Sorry,” both mumbled at the same time.</p><p>“I have to apologize for the two of them. Just ignore what they say” turned Louis to Sarah now.</p><p>“It's all right. I have already noticed that, but I have no right to judge him. I only work here” she replied shyly.</p><p>“Is he at least nice to you?” Louis wanted to know worriedly.</p><p>“Most of the time he doesn't talk to me at all. I think he doesn't even know my name. So I would say it could be worse” she told him honestly.</p><p>“Okay, I see. May I ask how old you are? You don't look much older than us either” asked Louis softly.</p><p>“I'm 20” she let him know.</p><p>“Really? I'm 17” he told her.</p><p>“Still, but not that long anymore” grinned Zayn.</p><p>“Shut up, Zayn. December is still a long time” hissed Louis at him. “I'm sorry, we'll keep you from work”.</p><p>“Not really. I was supposed to see if you need anything” she smiled at him.</p><p>“Well, maybe a boyfriend for Zayn and Louis. Scratch that, they can marry each other. A bit of fun for Liam and unlimited food for me” joked Niall with a laugh.</p><p>“I'd like to disagree with that, but unfortunately that's true” confessed Louis grinningly.</p><p>“I'll see what I can do there” she winked at the boys.</p><p>“What the hell are you doing?! This is still my room. Your chick can go somewhere else” they heard Harry call in disgust in the hall.</p><p>“Watch your tone, son. I pay for everything. So, as long as you don't pay for your belongings, you have no right to make claims. Your second room belongs to Cindy tonight, whether you like it or not. And now go and fuck somebody. Let your tension go elsewhere” Harry's father snapped furiously and in an icy voice.</p><p>“Sarah, can I ask you something?” asked Niall cautiously.</p><p>“Sure, what is it?”.</p><p>“What kind of a human is Harry's father? How is he? Don't worry, that stays between us” he assured her.</p><p>“A stone-cold businessman. Very rude and dismissive and very condescending. He treats people very badly. But that normally excludes Harry, but otherwise, Harry is just like him and gives him no reason to shout at him even more” she told them truthfully.</p><p>“More?” inquired Louis in astonishment.</p><p>“You won't find fatherly love here. They're both not really feeling people. Feelings don't bring you money, just problems. That's just for poor people without a future, well that's what they say. That's the spirit of the house” she informed them with a heavy sigh.</p><p>“And his mother? How on earth does a marriage work without feelings?” checked Niall confused.</p><p>“I don't know. I've never met her. Since I work here, there is only Harry and his father” reciprocated Sarah.</p><p>“Zayn, didn't you say his mother ..”.</p><p>“It's been a long time since we’ve been friends. In my time she was still living here. She probably had enough” interrupted Zayn Niall.</p><p>“Zayn, no mother just leaves her child like that” scolded Liam him.</p><p>“Well, apparently”.</p><p>“So, Mr. Styles is not a nice person?” checked Liam again.</p><p>“I'm afraid not. He and his business friends are always very harsh and condescending when they are here. They have no respect for other people who are below their level, but they probably don't have to because they have achieved something in their lives, and we haven't” sighed Sarah sadly.</p><p>“You can't see it like that. It's important if you're happy with your life. Are you?” asked Louis her and put his hands on her shoulders.</p><p>“Yeah, I have a great family and great friends” she smiled fondly.</p><p>“Then you've achieved everything that's important in life. Don't forget that. Then their comments will not harm you” told Louis her comfortingly.</p><p>“Thank you, Louis” she sniffled lightly.</p><p>“Not for that. It's just the truth” he smiled encouragingly.</p><p>“Wait, Son. Sean's parents have just told me that you are not talking to each other anymore. Why?” the voice of Harry's father sounded icy cold in the hallway again.</p><p>“We have different views on things, nothing important, paths divide. Friendships are just a joke or am I wrong?” replied Harry callously.</p><p>“That's right. Friends just hold you back, but Sean and you were such a strong duo and together you presented our name and did every …”.</p><p>“We can still do it alone. He wants other things than me” cut Harry his father off.</p><p>“Like this ridiculous band? Oh, do you think I don't know about that? Of course, I know that. I get to know everything in this city. So, what's it with this band crap?” he was getting louder and more demanding.</p><p>“It's no crap. We're really good. Everyone sees that, even professionals. You can't be against music. After all, that's your business” replied Harry coolly.</p><p>“Good enough to hang out with losers?” he mocked Harry.</p><p>“Losers that are loved by everyone? Somehow this doesn't fit together, don't you think? Just watch the videos on Triple Tube before you laugh” shot Harry back and you could hear his footsteps approaching.</p><p>Niall and the others had heard every word and held their breath. The guy sounded really heartless. But Harry wasn't much better, at least until a while ago. Niall was worried that Harry's father would destroy immediately any progress they could make and that Harry would become as he was before and his subconscious would be forever silent.</p><p>“I should leave again. If you need something then call me” said Sarah when Harry came in and looked at her in surprise.</p><p>“Wait, Sarah. I'll come with you. I have to go home anyway. My sisters are waiting for me” held Louis her back, searching for his belongings.</p><p>“You have sisters?” asked Sarah curiously.</p><p>“Yes, four. They're lovely. You would love them” smiled Louis dreamily.</p><p>“Actually a good idea, Tommy. I'll leave as well” stood Zayn up now.</p><p>“So, we got the band's name. Today's goal is achieved. We've all got to go home” suggested Liam hurriedly.</p><p>“If you say so, maybe that's better” shrugged Harry unchanged.</p><p>“See you tomorrow at school and remember, we need a battle plan for the trip to the 4D Cinema on Wednesday” reminded Liam his friends.</p><p>“We can think of something” tapped Niall him on the shoulder.</p><p>“Thanks for allowing us to be here, Harry. Was nice, see you tomorrow” said Niall goodbye happily, but he just couldn't get Harry's father out of his head. That worried him.</p><p>“Of course. Always again. Um … um … Maid, bring the boys to the door, preferably without my dad noticing it. He's not in the best of moods” ordered Harry and Niall wondered why he suddenly seemed so undressed. Probably because of his father.</p><p>“Of course, Sir” she assured him and stood waiting at the door.</p><p>“Bye Harry,” said Liam goodbye, Zayn followed him wordlessly. Niall hopped behind them.</p><p>“Bye, Sarah, it was a pleasure to meet you. Maybe we will meet again” said Louis goodbye with a smile to Sarah.</p><p>“Was a pleasure” she smiled back as Louis left the room.</p><p>“Wait a second” hold Harry Sarah back as she also wanted to leave.</p><p>“What else do you need, Sir?”.</p><p>“Sarah, right? Wow, why do I not know that? Whatever. What do you think of the boys?” asked Harry a little uncertain.</p><p>“They're really nice and very accommodating, especially this Louis guy. He is really something special, a very kind-hearted person” she told him. Harry had to smile at these words. Something special.</p><p>“Okay, thanks. You can go” he let her go.</p><p>His mind rattled and he wondered why every word about Louis made him feel so strange. Almost as if he was glad that everyone found him so special and noticed how great he was from the first second on. Before he could think further about that, was really new to him, his father burst into his room.</p><p>“You're not so bad. I can work with that” he stated firmly.</p><p>“What do you mean?” Harry didn't understand.</p><p>“I mean, I will not forbid you to be in this band. It could even be to our advantage, but you need a lead singer, best you. And this ginger guy should sing less and stand still on stage. This jumping is ridiculous. And this other guy, the short one, should really shut up and sing the least” he told Harry and then left the room again.</p><p>Did he just say Niall and Louis shouldn't sing? Louis? Harry was confused. His voice was so special and so angelic. Like pure harmony and peace. Why should he shut up?</p><p>His father really gave him a headache. Why was he even questioning that? A while ago he thought exactly the same. Sighing, Harry dropped onto his gigantic bed and looked out of the window. When had his life become so complicated?<br/><br/><br/><br/>---&gt;</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Calmly, Niall was walking along the beach alone in the evening sun. He let his thoughts wander and looked over the ocean. The breeze and waves made beautiful sounds and he just enjoyed the moment. After a while, he walked into the nearest forest part and hopped around. He loved being in the nature. That's why it made so much sense to him that his element was earth, after all.</p><p>A strange sound caught his attention. He listened into the wind and heard that sound again. Quickly, he walked in the direction of that sound, which led him deeper into the forest. As he was looking around for the cause his gaze fell on a trapped animal next to a bush. It was a little bunny. His paw was injured and he looked frightened.</p><p>Carefully slow, Niall stepped closer to the scared animal and knelt down in front of it. Out of instinct, the bunny flinched back but as soon as it looked at Niall it seemed to relax. Niall tried not to think about it too much and just focused on freeing the poor thing from the trap. When he had loosened the trap he expected the bunny to run away immediately but he didn't. The bunny just sat there, staring Niall into the face.</p><p>“You're okay, little guy. You're free. Run home” encouraged Niall the bunny.</p><p>To his utter surprise, he heard a voice inside of his head and this voice was thanking him. Shocked, he stared at the little bunny. Did that animal just talk to him in his mind?</p><p>“Did you just talk to me?” gasped Niall. The bunny actually nodded his head.</p><p>He heard that voice again. The bunny told him that he had sensed that Niall wasn't a normal human being and he could trust him, unlike other people. That made Niall frown.</p><p>“Other people? What do you mean? Do you know who set the trap?” asked Niall worried.</p><p>The bunny told him that two men and a woman set different traps all along the forest and near the beach at some parts. Apparently, they captured all kind of animals brutally and all forest animals were scared of them and would stay in their hide-out as long as possible. Niall hated those people automatically. Who would do something like that?</p><p>After he made sure the bunny was okay he immediately sprinted off and called up his friends. He had to tell them about this. When they met up at the beach he was surprised to see Kida's friend Hope was there with them.</p><p>“Before you ask, I met her right before you called me, and she asked if she could come along. She has something for you. So I simply agreed” explained Zayn before anyone could ask.</p><p>“What happened, Niall?” Harry wanted to know.</p><p>“I was in the forest and stumbled over a bunny” started Niall.</p><p>“Really? That's not very unlikely” grinned Zayn.</p><p>“Can you shut up? As I said I stumbled over a bunny. The little guy was trapped and a bit injured, so I helped him. But then something strange happened. He talked to me. I could hear his little voice in my head” told Niall them excitedly.</p><p>“What? Really? That's sick” gasped Zayn shocked.</p><p>“Yes, it was so strange, but it felt right” confirmed Niall.</p><p>“Is that normal?” addressed Louis Hope in question.</p><p>“For him it is. Earth Fairies can talk with animals through their minds” revealed Hope to them.</p><p>“Why did nobody tell me that?” wondered Niall astonished.</p><p>“You had to find out yourself,” said Hope simply.</p><p>“What about us? Is there something we don't know yet?” frowned Harry.</p><p>“A lot actually. You barely know the surface of it all. Have you been practising your powers at all?” asked Hope knowingly.</p><p>“Not really, I guess” mumbled Harry.</p><p>“And that's it. You have to practise them to improve and to understand them better. You will never find out what you're really capable of doing if you don't try it out. The moon gives you hints sometimes but you have to do something about it” advised Hope them.</p><p>“Now it makes sense. The boys told me there were animals all around the house and stuff at my full moon night. I talked with them in some way, right?” concluded Niall now. Hope nodded simply.</p><p>“Is that why you wanted to come along?” wondered Zayn still a bit puzzled.</p><p>“No. I have something for you, Niall. But first, did the bunny tell you anything else? I have a feeling there's more” checked Hope interested.</p><p>“He told me about three people who kinda hunt the animals and scare them away. But no idea why though” let Niall them know.</p><p>“That's horrible” gasped Liam, who has been silent until now.</p><p>“We should keep an eye on that” decided Zayn determined.</p><p>“I think so, too” agreed Louis directly.</p><p>“You said you have something for me?” turned Niall now around to Hope.</p><p>“Right. It's time for you to get it now. Here, it belonged to an old friend and now it's reunited with its family” handed Hope him the same necklace, the other boys already had but with a green stone.</p><p>“Thank you so much” breathed Niall out.</p><p>“You should have it. Now they're all together again. And keep in mind, the necklaces help you control your powers easier, but you have to train them first. Find out what your real power is. Niall already knows more now” reminded Hope them.</p><p>“We will. It's a promise” smiled Louis at her.</p><p>“Was that all? I really have to go now” urged Liam untypically.</p><p>“Why?” frowned Zayn deeply.</p><p>“I'm starting that new job close to yours by the park, remember? My team is waiting for me and you shouldn't let those important people wait” reminded Liam him.</p><p>“Now I remember” slapped Niall his forehead.</p><p>“See you later, guys” waved Liam goodbye and left quickly.</p><p>“Zayn, what's wrong?” asked Louis, who noticed Zayn's deep frown.</p><p>“I don't know. I just have a weird feeling when I think about Liam working with those scientists. I can't explain it” answered Zayn sadly.</p><p>“Always trust your feelings, Zayn” patted Hope his shoulder. The boys just looked after Liam in worry now. <br/><br/><br/><br/>---&gt;<br/><br/><br/></p><p> </p><p>Here he stood, completely nervous and sweaty. The other students around him babbled wildly with each other and looked forward to the upcoming one. Well, all but the oh-so-cool idiots. They were too cool for a 4D cinema. Zayn got more and more nervous with each step in and just wanted to run away, but it would be too noticeable if they were all missing today so they had to go now. They didn't have a real plan, but a possible precaution for possible water splashes. Actually, only the chairs will jerk or wind from the back, but there was also the possibility for small water splashes. That's what Zayn did once in Sydney two years ago.</p><p>“I'll go to the front with the girls as far as we can, so they will not ask any questions and you sit down in the back-seat. That'll only be four anyway. But you'll have to be faster than Sean. Use the new popularity bonus for once” whispered Liam to the guys when they entered the cinema.</p><p>“Okay, but make sure the girls don't ask any questions. Vilu is too suspicious since the last full moon” whispered Niall back before the boys made the quickest way to the rear seats.</p><p>The people they passed by let them through without comment and waited for the boys to sit down before sitting down themselves. Zayn didn't like this behaviour, but today he was fine with it. He sat down against the wall and Louis sat next to him.</p><p>“Harry, you shouldn't sit outside. If something goes wrong, you can better get to where everyone is from here” said Niall, letting Harry through so he could sit next to Louis and then Niall sat on the edge.</p><p>Zayn wished he hadn't realized how Louis twitched automatically as Harry sat down next to him. That broke his heart every time. He wanted so much to do something to help him, but unfortunately, there was nothing he could do. The only one who could prevent this reaction was Harry himself, but that wouldn't happen. For this, Harry would have to worry about it and be careful about the topic. Something he will never do; Zayn was almost certain.</p><p>When the light was dimmed and it was getting dark in the hall, all four brought a small towel out of their pockets as if by cue. They had packed them this morning to prevent a transformation. After all, they had thirty seconds to wipe the drops of water away. It was so dark, but not dark enough to hide everything. From his seat, Zayn searched for Liam, who was sitting somewhere in front with Nikki and Violetta. After a brief search, Zayn recognized Liam's head four rows in front of them. He whispered something in Nikki's ear. Zayn felt his jealousy seething again, but he knew he had no right to. Liam and she were just friends.</p><p>He didn't notice how the show or movie, whatever it was, started because he was so focused on Liam. Each of Liam's reactions watched Zayn with pleasure. It was so nice to see him in a normal environment as he had fun with normal people who didn't have to dodge every drop of water. Every now and then Zayn felt the jerking of the seats and felt the fake wind at the nape of his neck, but he paid no attention to all of this. He only saw Liam.</p><p>After a while, he didn't know how long it really was, he suddenly felt something wet on his hand. But he didn't pay any attention to that at first. He easily noticed the movements of his friends and then felt a hand on his arm.</p><p>“Joey, what are you doing? You're running out of time” whispered Louis in horror.</p><p>Only then did Zayn awaken from his kind of trance and realized that he had water on his hand. On both hands. Panicking, he felt for his towel, which had fallen down, picked it up and started wiping the drops of water, but it was already too late. Zayn already felt the familiar tingling everywhere and a few seconds later his symbols appeared. Wide-eyed, the other three looked at Zayn, who just sighed loudly and leaned his head back. <em>Well, bravo.</em></p><p>“Harry, quick. Do something” implored Niall him, looking nervously back and forth to see if anyone had noticed. Luckily, everyone was focused on the screen.</p><p>Immediately, Harry leaned over Louis, who inhaled sharply and held his breath, over to Zayn and immediately let his clenched fist wander over his legs. It started steaming and in Zayn, the panic arose that someone would notice it now. The steam wasn't exactly unremarkable. After a few seconds, Zayn's legs went back to normal again and Harry leaned back in his seat, panting. Louis beside him breathed out in relief, causing Harry to frown.</p><p>The steam was still visible, moving through the row and row in front of them and on and on. Great, now it was remarkable. A few students in front of them waved their hands lightly to keep the steam from their faces. Others cleared their throat slightly and coughed. The film was coming to an end, which made the students restless. Remains of the steam now moved across the front rows, whereupon Liam immediately turned around in panic and looked at them. Zayn shot him a look that let him know that everything was alright. But Violetta turned around too and the boys looked away quickly. It didn't feel right to lie to her or act like that, but they just couldn't tell her.</p><p>When the movie was finally over there was still steam left in the room. Their classmates looked around in wonder until their gaze fell on the boys, who now had to improvise quickly. Sean's nasty smirk could Zayn see all the way back. No idea what he thought, but it was no good. Niall and Harry suddenly started waving the steam away and looking around confused. Louis looked at Zayn and they both understood without words and started to do the same.</p><p>“Where does that come from?” asked Niall convincingly confused.</p><p>Their classmates began to leave the room with the teacher and seemed to forget about it. Liam joined the boys with Victoria, Nikki and Violetta. Sean and Ethan were also on their way. The boys picked up their school bags and headed for Liam.</p><p>“There must be something wrong about the technology. That was a lot of steam” tried Liam to find a convincing explanation that their friends would believe.</p><p>“Yes, something seems to be out of order. Something like that can happen” agreed Niall credibly.</p><p>“Not even technique likes you. It should give you food for thought. All the other seats were alright. Well, losers are always losers and the others will notice that” laughed Sean before leaving the hall.</p><p>“Such an idiot” hissed Nikki annoyed.</p><p>“Let's go. That was enough steam for a lifetime” tried Harry to joke, but Violetta and Nikki just looked funny at him.</p><p>Liam shook his head and Niall just stared at him. Zayn wondered how that should be funny, but apparently, there was one person who found it funny. In fact, Louis had to try to suppress his laughter, which meant that he had to laugh even more, and Harry also started to laugh.</p><p>“Let's just go, otherwise the two of them will be laughing on the floor in a minute” smirked Zayn and pushed Louis slightly forward. Still chuckling, Louis and Harry followed Niall and Liam outside. Nikki and Victoria followed them grinningly.</p><p>“Why is there a towel on the floor?” asked Violetta Zayn confused, pointing to the floor in front of his seat where he had dropped the towel. Again.</p><p>“No idea. It was there before” lied Zayn not convincingly and pulled Violetta outside.</p><p>They had to be more cautious and Zayn had to learn not to block out everything when Liam was in the same room.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. 15.2 Pizza And A Movie</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>After the Maths lesson on Friday, Louis nearly sprinted to the bathroom. Maybe he shouldn't have had to drink camouflage on every question the teacher asked that he couldn't answer. Had kept the teacher from asking him, but now he had the feeling his bladder could explode any second.</p><p>When he was finished, he went to the sink and was relieved that he was alone. Over the last few months, he had developed a routine for how to wash his hands and quickly dry himself without it going wrong. But that was too risky at school. This time, everything went well and he made his way to his locker afterwards.</p><p>Niall should already be in the cafeteria and get the food. Zayn would also have to leave the classroom at the time. Louis opened the locker, put in his Maths book and got out his sports gear. In his head, he already went through today's training of his kids and pondered what he could do on the weekend.</p><p>When he closed his locker, he suddenly felt a strong hand on his back which threw him against the locker and then on the floor. He dropped his sports gear and landed hard on his wrist but could prevent himself from falling face down. This scenario was too well known to him. Louis knew exactly what was coming. He didn't even try to get up again because it would be pointless anyway.</p><p>He should be right because the next moment someone kicked him in the stomach and Louis pulled his legs whimpering to his body. This reaction elicited only a nasty laugh from his bully. Louis knew that laugh. He knew it too well.</p><p>Before he could think about this realization, he felt more kicks and punches against his back, his legs and then again his stomach as he had to let go of his legs in pain. Louis tried to crawl away, but that only resulted in more kicks. He felt every single one of them all over his body and he knew he would never be able to get up without help if the guy ever stopped.</p><p>A kick in his ribs made Louis moan a little, which the guy just laughed at. Louis tried to suppress the tears and whimpers. He wanted to stay strong and not give himself this nakedness, but that was damn hard. He hoped the others were okay.</p><p>Painfully, Louis curled up and his back leaned against a cool wall. He didn't dare to open his eyes. A single tear ran over his cheek and he wanted to sink into the ground. He felt the guy looking down at him. That was the last thing he noticed before he got a kick in the head and everything turned black.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>When he came back to his senses, Louis felt warmth around him. His head hurt like hell, and the sooner he got more awake the more pain started in his arms, legs and stomach. He wanted to lose consciousness again, then the pain would stop. He slipped sideways and immediately felt something on his arm. But that wasn't what he expected. It was a hand that stroked his arm lightly, which gave him Goosebumps.</p><p>“Louis, are you awake? Can you hear me?” asked a very familiar voice.</p><p>Carefully, he tried to open his eyes. The bright light in the room made him blink countless times, but eventually, he could open his eyes completely. He glanced around carefully, noticing that he was no longer on the floor of the school corridor. He was lying on a bed in the nursery room of the school. The school nurse had to be around. How had he gotten here?</p><p>“Oh my God, you're awake” was the same familiar voice happy now.</p><p>Louis glanced aside and to his surprise, Harry was sitting in a chair beside him, holding his hand. Still dazed by the pain, Louis tried to understand the situation. That was all too much for him.</p><p>“Harry, what ... I ..” croaked Louis out but stopped himself when he realized that he had no control over his voice. His throat felt as dry as a desert.</p><p>“Slowly. Don't worry. The nurse said you can't overstrain when you wake up. Do you need anything, water maybe?” explained Harry to him solicitously and got up to get him a glass of water.</p><p>This newly discovered care found Louis a bit strange, but that didn't matter to him at the moment. The pain was too strong to think of anything else. He certainly had bruises and scratches everywhere.</p><p>“Here, but be careful, not too fast” held Harry out a glass of water.</p><p>With a grateful smile, Louis took the glass and drank it carefully. The cool water did his rough throat well and he felt his energy coming back again. Harry picked up the empty glass, set it down and sat down again next to Louis, looking worried but somehow relieved. Strange.</p><p>“What happened? Why am I here?” asked Louis in an uncertain voice.</p><p>“I'm so sorry, Louis” whined Harry suddenly, burying his face in his hands.</p><p>“I don't understand a word”.</p><p>“It's all my fault. You're here because of me” wailed Harry and Louis just frowned in confusion.</p><p>“What do you mean? You didn't do that, did you?” Louis still didn't understand it.</p><p>He hadn't seen his bully. He came from behind and Louis had his eyes closed in pain. Could Harry really have done that? Had he just fooled them again? Was he palpable now? Louis didn't even want to think about it for a second. Suddenly, he heard the laugh in his head. This familiar laugh. That wasn't Harry. Why did he think it was his fault then?</p><p>“Oh God, No. I would never do that. You have to believe me. Do you really think I could do that to you?” panicked Harry brokenly.</p><p>“I know you wouldn't do that and I know it wasn't you. Why do you say it was your fault? You can't help it” reassured Louis him.</p><p>“But it was my former friends who did that, and it wouldn't have happened without me” explained Harry, and now Louis realized why this laugh was so familiar to him.</p><p>“Just because you've been friends it is far from your fault” replied Louis reasonable.</p><p>“Yes, it is. Aidan said that's their revenge for you ruining me or something like that. He said that was just the beginning. I told him how cocky that is and that he should leave you alone. I hope so much that he falls down a flight of stairs. Unbelievable that I thought we were friends or something like that” told Harry him in doubt and pure anger.</p><p>“Harry, you can't help it. They're idiots” said Louis, but it didn't help.</p><p>“Idiots I belonged to. I'm not any better than that. It's just because of me that happened to you. Sean has always offended people and destroyed their lives, but that's new even for him. Just because I left him for your friendship, well we're not even friends. Oh God, you have to ignore me from now on. We must never become friends, not that that would ever happen, but it's too dangerous. He could h ... “.</p><p>“Harry, now listen to me. Stop blaming yourself, it's not your fault just because Sean decided to be vindictive and to blame us for anything. That could have happened without you. It's not your fault, you understand?” cut Louis him off and looked deep into his eyes so he really understood.</p><p>“I ... okay. I got it, but if that happens again you should just marginalize me. Are you feeling better?” sighed Harry and gave in.</p><p>“We will not do that, never. And yes, a little better, but it hurts like hell” grimaced Louis in pain.</p><p>He had no idea where this certainty came from, or why he didn't take the chance to finally get rid of Harry. Seeing him so dissolved and hearing those words triggered something in Louis and he wanted everything but getting rid of Harry wasn't any of it. No way.</p><p>“I don't want to imagine what would have happened if I hadn't found you” mused Harry in fear.</p><p>“Wait, what?” blinked Louis astonished.</p><p>“I found you when Aidan started kicking you in the head and um … beating you. I stopped him and shouted at him. Seeing you lying there unconscious was terrible. Something inside of me snapped. Aidan didn't expect that. Then I brought you here and wanted to wait until you wake up. Well, no one else was there except for me ..” trailed Harry off embarrassed.</p><p>“Thanks, Haz” smiled Louis at him.</p><p>He didn't even question where the nickname came from or why the thought of Harry carrying him here made him smile. Louis could live with this nice side of Harry. Let's see how many times he got to see this.</p><p>Suddenly the door opened and Brandon and Luke stumbled inside. Luke had an arm around Niall and Brandon an arm around Zayn. Both were bleeding in the face and looked awful but were conscious.</p><p>“What happened?” asked Nurse Maria and ran around the room to make room for both.</p><p>“They were beaten for no reason” reported Brandon sourly and breathlessly.</p><p>“Oh, the poor boys. Drop them off here” the nurse pitied the two.</p><p>Harry got up and walked over to them. To Louis' astonishment, Brandon and Luke welcomed Harry instead of grimacing in disgust.</p><p>“Hey H. What are you doing here?” asked Brandon surprised</p><p>“Hey, Donny. I brought Louis here” replied Harry, pointing to Louis.</p><p>“Oh no, you too? Good that you've found him” sighed Brandon and smiled encouragingly at Louis.</p><p>“You two, tell me who that was” ordered Maria.</p><p>Brandon and Luke looked uncertain but then sighed. “Sean and Ethan” confessed the two and Harry's face changed directly.</p><p>“I'll report that to the Headmaster right away. We don't tolerate such behaviour at this school” announced Maria determined.</p><p>“No, please, no. It just makes it worse” tried Luke to stop her.</p><p>“But we just can't do nothing. They can't get away with it”. Suddenly, her gaze fell on Harry and her eyes darkened in anger. “You. Harry. Aren't you friends with them? Did you help?”.</p><p>“No, no, no. I didn't do anything. I was friends with them, but not anymore” defended Harry himself.</p><p>“Can you maybe talk to them then?” she asked him.</p><p>“I can try” lowered Harry his head. The answer was enough for her because she started to look after Niall and Zayn's wounds again.</p><p>“You're not really going to talk to Sean? You know that's pointless” raised Brandon an eyebrow at him.</p><p>“Maybe I can do something. I don't know” shrugged Harry his shoulders.</p><p>“Does one of you know where Liam is? Why isn't he here?” asked Luke confused.</p><p>Louis immediately fumbled for his phone and saw that he had a message. From Liam.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>From Lima Bean:</b>
</p><p>“<em>Where are you? Gradually, I'm starving. I'm going over to the girls”</em>.</p><p> </p><p>“Did Liam text?” asked Harry as he sat down next to him again.</p><p>“Yeah, he wanted to know where we are. He seems to be fine” answered Louis absently.</p><p>“Probably it wasn't so bad that I told half the school that he is boxing. Probably saved him” said Harry dryly.</p><p>“You could be right with that and then this betrayal even had something good” agreed Louis, not thinking about his words.</p><p>“Louis, I want to apologize again for that and for everything that happened to you before and after. I'm so sorry” avoided Harry any eye contact.</p><p>“I know, Harry. Forgive and forget” waved Louis it off.</p><p>Harry looked at him in surprise. “For real?”.</p><p>Louis paused and looked at Harry. Could he really forgive him? Forget everything and leave it behind? At least try it? Something inside of him wanted that, but part of him just couldn't. Forgetting and forgiving didn't mean trust and best friends, but it was a start.</p><p>“Yes, Harry, really”</p><p>A broad grin spread across Harry's face, bringing out his dimples. His eyes were beaming and he really looked like he had just won the lottery. Louis hadn't known his forgiveness was so important to him.</p><p>From the far corner of the room, Louis felt the gaze of Niall, Brandon, Luke and Zayn on him. Apparently, everyone had watched along. Louis didn't dare to look at Zayn. He could already imagine his face.</p><p>“Can you bring the three of them home? They can't go to physical education like this. They should rest for a while, then it's all going to be good again” turned Maria to Brandon, Luke and Harry. Brandon helped up Zayn, who surprisingly smiled at Louis while Luke helped Niall up.</p><p>“I'm fine. Really, you don't need to take me home. My Mum is ... “.</p><p>“It's okay, Niall. I got you” interrupted Luke quietly.</p><p>Louis realized immediately that Luke wanted to say that he knew exactly where Niall lived and that it made no difference. Apparently, Niall understood that too because he let Luke help him.</p><p>“Louis, before you go take these painkillers with you. You've got it the worst. Take good care of your head” said Maria goodbye.</p><p>Louis took the pills and sat up. The pain immediately shot into his stomach and legs. His head felt heavy and his arms were like lead.</p><p>“Slowly, let me help you” held Harry out a hand that Louis gratefully accepted.</p><p>He winced slightly as he got up, but tried to walk normally, which didn't work. Immediately, Harry was on hand and put an arm around him to support him. Slightly limping, the two left the room and made their way to Louis' home. Halfway, Harry decided that Louis couldn't go any further and carried him home from then on against Louis' protest. Louis tried to stare so hard at the floor and not look at Harry. Their faces were just too close for his liking and he tried to suppress that soothing feeling.</p><p>At his front door, Harry put him down and Louis went inside. He heard noises from the kitchen and sighed. Ironically, his mother was there when he came home today. That could be funny. He quietly tried to close the door and didn't ask why Harry was still there.</p><p>“Louis, is that you?” his mother's voice came from the kitchen.</p><p>“Yes, Mum” he called back.</p><p>“Why are you so early? Did something hap ... Oh my god! Louis, what happened? Who did that?” his mother started when she came out of the kitchen and saw his condition.</p><p>“It's all right, just a misunderstanding. No need to worry” he tried to reassure her.</p><p>“Louis William Tomlinson, you'll tell me now who did that” she ordered sternly. He winced at the rumble of his second name. That's what she did only when she was deadly serious.</p><p>“Just such idiots from school. Really, it's all right” he wanted to finish the topic.</p><p>“It's not all right. Look at your head” she said, running her hand over his wounds.</p><p>“That heals again”.</p><p>“Buttercup, not again. We have to do something about that” she sighed sadly.</p><p>“Mum, please. Don't call me that. I'm not three anymore” groaned Louis, trying to cover up that she had mentioned that this wasn't the first time he had come home like this. After all, Harry was still standing next to him.</p><p>“Okay. Fine. What am I going to do with you? Rest and call if you need anything. Oh, hi Harry” greeted Jasmine Harry now too.</p><p>“Hello, Jasmine. I'll make him rest” assured Harry her.</p><p>“Thank you, Harry,” she said thank you and let the two go upstairs. Once in his room, Louis lay down on his bed and buried his face in his pillow.</p><p>“William, huh?” smirked Harry and sat down on the bed.</p><p>“Shut up” laughed Louis into his pillow.</p><p>“Could be worse. My second name is Edward” told Harry him.</p><p>Now Louis turned to face him and looked at him. “Like a Vampire?”.</p><p>“Hey, I'm not some psycho vampire” pouted Harry and it was so cute.</p><p>“Sure you're not hiding dead bodies under your bed?” grinned Louis cheekily.</p><p>“I'm not a part-time vampire” clarified Harry.</p><p>“Maybe a wizard?”.</p><p>“Not that either. I think witch is quite enough” laughed Harry carefree.</p><p>“Yeah, that's weird enough. You don't need to drink blood, too” mocked Louis him and Harry hit him with a pillow.</p><p>“Tell me, what did your mother mean by again? Did it happen before?” Harry wanted to know curiously.</p><p>In his mind, Louis cursed his mother and sought a suitable excuse, but he couldn't think of anything credible. “You know, not every school likes to see new people”.</p><p>“Who beat you up? When? Why? I could …”</p><p>“Harry, it's all right. This is the past. Let's just not talk about it” stopped Louis his rambling, hoping Harry would understand he didn't want to talk about it.</p><p>“Okay, alright. You should rest and get some sleep” advised Harry him.</p><p>“But I must not fall asleep or I'll sleep up training” pointed Louis out.</p><p>“You want to go to the training like that? You can't. You just hurt yourself more” was Harry scared.</p><p>“But I have to go and besides, I only have to yell after children what they should do” joked Louis.</p><p>“Well, you stubborn, but then I'll come with you to help. Try not to talk me out of it. I'm also very stubborn” told Harry him.</p><p>“Fine” gave Louis in and lay on his side. Harry did the same.</p><p>“Try to get some sleep. I'll wake you up in time. I promise” smiled Harry and stroked a strand of hair from his face. Louis closed his eyes and enjoyed the touch a little too much.</p><p>“But woe, you don't wake me, then God save you” threatened Louis jokingly and lay down comfortably.</p><p>“Leave God out of it, but don't worry. I'll be right here when you wake up and you'll be back on time for training” assured Harry him in a calm voice and a short time later Louis fell asleep.<br/><br/><br/><br/><br/>---&gt;</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>After Zayn had told his boss that he can work normally today, he made his way to the turtle pool. As always, he fed the turtles and chatted with them for a moment. Today it was very cloudy which meant that there were hardly any people in the park and Zayn had hardly anything to do. For the first two hours, Zayn just stood around staring into the void. He tried to suppress his thoughts and forget the day's events, but his aching head had other plans.</p><p>A split lip, a still slightly red cheek and a large scratch on the forehead now adorned his face. He had scrawny ribs and a scraped elbow. That was not easy to forget. Ethan had simply taken him by surprise on the way to the cafeteria. He hardly had a chance to defend himself.</p><p>Luckily, Luke and Brandon just came by, wondering where Zayn was because they wanted to discuss something during the break. The two had stopped Ethan and helped Zayn. He was very grateful to them.</p><p>Just one question left him no peace: Where was Liam at the time and why hadn't he noticed? Or did he and he just didn't care?</p><p>Just when he asked himself, he saw Liam's face a few feet away from him. A dark-haired girl was with him and they seemed to have fun. Zayn had to remember again that he had no right to be jealous because he felt again how much he would like to strangle her. Slowly, the two came up to him and Zayn put on his best smile.</p><p>“Hi Zayn, how's it going?” asked Liam in greeting without really looking at him.</p><p>“All pretty extinct today, so very boring” shrugged Zayn carelessly.</p><p>“That's stupid, but at least you're off soon. Oh Zayn, this is Lauren” introduced Liam his friend.</p><p>“Hi Zayn, I'm glad” she smiled at him. Mentally he rolled his eyes, then turned completely to them and greeted them as well.</p><p>“What happened to your face?” drew Liam in a sharp breath.</p><p>“Wow, thanks. Now I feel really great” said Zayn sarcastically.</p><p>“How did this happen?” asked Liam unimpressed.</p><p>“Oh, you know, I like to run against walls and fall down some stairs. The usual” joked Zayn sarcastically.</p><p>“Zayn” admonished Liam him.</p><p>“You sound like my mother. What do you think how this happened? Do I really have to go into that?” replied Zayn annoyed.</p><p>“Why do I not know about it? When did this happen? Was that why you weren't in physical education? Oh god, are the others okay?” realized Liam the dimension of it all.</p><p>“Yes, Liam, all right. We're still alive. Don't worry. And what are you two doing here?” waved Zayn it off.</p><p>“My mother is the Deputy CEO. I had to bring her something over. So I picked him up from his new job. Now we want to go to my house and later to a party” informed Lauren him.</p><p>“I know” muttered Zayn, referring to the post of Lauren's mother.</p><p>“Do you want to come later?” asked Liam casually.</p><p>“I had enough action for a day” declined Zayn curtly.</p><p>“Maybe that's better,” said Lauren to Liam, who only nodded in agreement.</p><p>“We have to go then,” told Liam him.</p><p>“Then don't let me stop you” muttered Zayn bitter.</p><p>Liam looked at him once more and then left the park with Lauren. Zayn looked after them for a while and wondered how that happened.</p><p>A tapping on his shoulder tore him out of his thoughts. He turned around and looked into a friendly and very familiar face.“Hello Kida, what are you doing here?” he asked her in surprise.</p><p>“I wanted to know how you're doing” she answered, realizing by the sound of her voice that she was alluding to the full moon.</p><p>“I'm okay. I'm a bit confused and hurt, but it could be worse” he told her.</p><p>“Why are you confused, my dear?” she asked worriedly.</p><p>“I just don't understand the moon. Why does he do that? What's the purpose of it? Is he trying to torture us?” whined Zayn in despair.</p><p>“The moon does it all with a purpose, but we may not always understand it right away. There's a reason behind it all. It will make sense over time” she let him know.</p><p>“But I don't understand. How can all that make sense? Louis and Harry's full moon; mine. That was just cruel and messy” frowned Zayn without understanding.</p><p>“You're connected to the moon, so he knows your hidden feelings and fears that you may not even know about. The moon only wants to help you in the end. Sometimes in a strange way. At some point, you'll understand it better and interpret the signs of the moon. With each new moon, the impact is stronger, but don't be afraid. He is your friend” she told him in the secrets.</p><p>She smiled at him briefly and Zayn knew that was her sign to leave. Knowingly, he nodded to her before she left and he tried to understand it all. Would it get worse?</p><p> </p><p><br/><br/>---&gt;<br/><br/><br/><br/><br/></p><p>“You made me lose” asserted Harry sulkily next to Louis.</p><p>“It's not my fault you can't hit a ball, Harry” laughed Louis cheerily.</p><p>“You've conspired against me, admit it” niggled Harry.</p><p>“You caught me, that's what we did. I got together with little kids to annoy you” grinned Louis cheekily.</p><p>“I knew it!” exclaimed Harry triumphantly.</p><p>The laughter of the two could still be heard as they entered Louis' house and took off their shoes.</p><p>“Louis, Louis, Louis” called Stella as she came down the stairs before she jumped into his arms.</p><p>“Hello, Princess, how is my favourite sister?” he grinned at her.</p><p>“Hey, I heard that” protested Luna.</p><p>“Did I say favourite sister? I meant favourite twins” he corrected before taking her on the other arm. Both girls were each sitting on one of his hips. He gave both a kiss on the cheek and both giggled. “Where is Mum, you sweet ones?”.</p><p>“In the kitchen” answered Stella shortly.</p><p>“She wants to make pizza herself today” added Luna happily.</p><p>“You get hungry right there” walked Louis into the kitchen, followed by Harry.</p><p>“Louis Darling, how was the training? Did everything go well or was it too much?” his mother asked worriedly.</p><p>“Everything went well. It was fun and Harry was trying to help, even if that wasn't the best idea” chuckled Louis wickedly.</p><p>“Hey, I did my best. A little more appreciation, please” snorted Harry offended.</p><p>“Oh, I am sorry”.</p><p>“Louis, be nice. Thank you for being with him, Harry. Will you stay for dinner?” she offered to him.</p><p>“I don't want to bother you” mumbled Harry.</p><p>“Don't be silly. I would be glad. You can help Louis make his pizza. Maybe he'll even get something to eat today”.</p><p>“I feel deeply offended” huffed Louis pouty.</p><p>“Shall I remind you of your last pizza?” raised Jasmine an eyebrow.</p><p>“That was funny” chuckled Stella.</p><p>“Come down, you two. Louis is hurt. You are too heavy” said Jasmine and immediately Stella and Luna let go of Louis and he dropped them off.</p><p>“That was alright. The two fairies aren't that heavy” clarified Louis.</p><p>“Maybe, but you must not strain yourself. I know you. It wouldn't be the first time that you ignore that and make it worse” she reminded him.</p><p>“I know and that will never happen again” he assured her sincerely.</p><p>“Well, now I'll take you two upstairs to the bathroom. You need to take a shower before you eat. Can you put the finished pizza in the oven and then make yours and Harry's?” she asked him.</p><p>“Yeah, no problem” smiled Louis at her and pushed the pizza into the oven. As he leaned down, he felt a slight tug in his stomach but tried to ignore it.</p><p>As his mother walked upstairs with the twins, Louis stared helplessly at the ingredients for the pizza. The dough was ready, so he just had to put a topping on it. Almost. That couldn't go wrong.</p><p>“Let me guess, vegetables aren't on your pizza?” stood Harry suddenly next to him.</p><p>“Why do I think you want vegetables?” countered Louis with a sly grin.</p><p>“Unfortunately, you're right” confessed Harry.</p><p>“Then everyone takes a half. Deal?” suggested Louis happily.</p><p>“Deal, I'll take right” claimed Harry the right-hand side.</p><p>“Very grown-up” grinned Louis and started to spread the tomato sauce on the pizza. Even that looked funny to him.</p><p>He heard Harry laugh softly next to him. “Hey, don't laugh. Not all of us are masters in the kitchen”.</p><p>“You don't have to be a master of that Louis. It's just sauce” laughed Harry amused.</p><p>“That's why I only buy ready-made food” noted Louis pouty.</p><p>“Another way to say you can't do it” shot Harry back.</p><p>“I can do other things instead of that” countered Louis cockily.</p><p>“For example?” checked Harry.</p><p>“I know my way around with balls, unlike you,” told Louis him with a nasty smile. Louis was aware of how dirty that sounded and judging by Harry's face he understood it exactly as he should.</p><p>“Oh yes, that's true. But it doesn't help you if you're hungry” claimed Harry weirdly.</p><p>“Sure about that? You can eat something else too” insisted Louis. He didn't know where that came from, but he didn't want to know that either.</p><p>“Do you want to eat something else?” countered Harry and looked at him. Louis hadn't expected that answer. He was almost impressed.</p><p>“Nah, the pizza probably tastes better,” said Louis as he began to finish his pizza.</p><p>“I'm not so sure about that, but pizza is enough for now” stated Harry, taking his half as well.</p><p>Louis didn't want to admit it, but he enjoyed Harry's company a lot today. Maybe a bit too much and he, unfortunately, hoped that Harry would stay after the meal and that maybe the two of them could watch a movie or just talk. Louis tried to suppress this desire with all his might. He wasn't allowed to think like that. What was different today, that he suddenly wanted it and wasn't angry anymore?</p><p>A few minutes later, Harry's phone vibrated. He took it out of his pocket and read the message. Louis couldn't interpret his expression.</p><p>“All good?” asked Louis curiously.</p><p>“Yeah, that was just Lauren. She asked if I'm going to the party later” told Harry him.</p><p>And there went Louis' hope for an evening with Harry straight out of the window. Bad enough that he had to admit that he wanted it so much.</p><p>“You can go. I'll tell my mother” tried Louis to sound indifferent.</p><p>“You don't have to. I won't go” turned Harry back to the pizza.</p><p>“What? Why not?” asked Louis way too fast.</p><p>“I've got something better to do” replied Harry, concentrating on the pizza.</p><p>These words warmed Louis' heart, whether he wanted it or not. “You know, the pizza isn't going away. That shouldn't stop you”.</p><p>“Do you want to get rid of me?” questioned Harry Louis' behaviour.</p><p>“You're right. Actually, I wanted to get rid of you because I want to do some naked yoga afterwards” joked Louis sassily.</p><p>“You can do that even when I'm there. Someone has to take care of you. You could pull a finger” ignored Harry Louis' joke.</p><p>“Maybe something could happen to you if you stay” warned Louis him with a mischievous smirk.</p><p>Before Harry had time to understand the words, Louis smeared sauce on his nose and tried to suppress his laughter. Harry gasped in surprise. “You did not do that”.</p><p>“Oh, but I did. What do you wanna do about it?” challenged Louis him, smearing more sauce on Harry's cheek.</p><p>“You’re gonna regret it” glared Harry at him playfully and the next moment Louis had flour in his face. He coughed slightly as he almost inhaled the flour and felt with his eyes closed for the sauce.</p><p>“Oh, it's on, Styles”.</p><p>And that was the beginning of the war. Louis took more sauce and spread it over Harry's entire face while Harry dropped flour over Louis' head. Both laughed loudly and Louis tried to run away. Harry grabbed Louis by the waist and pulled him back. They turned in a semicircle laughingly and the flour flew through the air.</p><p>“What are you doing in here?” came Jasmine's voice from behind them. Immediately, Harry let go of Louis and he missed his touch. It felt cold.</p><p>“We're making pizza” laughed Louis happily.</p><p>“I can see that. Maybe it would be better to make the pizza on the plate instead of yourself” tried Jasmine not to laugh and left the kitchen again.</p><p>“I guess she thinks we're crazy now” grinned Harry unashamed.</p><p>“She's my mother. She already knew that” said Louis, poking Harry into one of his dimples.</p><p>“Hey!” exclaimed Harry, picking Louis in the side whereupon Louis jumped to the side.</p><p>“Is someone a bit ticklish?” smirked Harry evilly.</p><p>“Ticklish? Me? Certainly not” asserted Louis squeaky.</p><p>But the next moment Harry started tickling Louis, who then bent and curled in Harry's arms with laughter, gasping for air. “Harry, please stop. I can't breathe” he gasped between laughter.</p><p>“Come on, we have to finish a pizza” laughed Harry as he let go of him.</p><p>“First we should clean ourselves maybe” grinned Louis and Harry nodded.</p><p>With a dry napkin, Harry cleaned his entire face while Louis shook his head and ruffled his hair to get the flour out of it.</p><p>“Am I clean now?” asked Harry unsure, causing Louis to smile. He still had a little bit of sauce left on his bottom lip. Louis wiped the rest off Harry's lip with his thump without thinking about it.</p><p>“Now” he cleared his throat as he realised what he has done and turned back to his pizza.</p><p>As Louis put his topping on the pizza, his cell phone vibrated. Quickly, he took it out and saw a message from Zayn.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>From Joey:</b>
</p><p>“<em>Kida was with me today, she said the moon would only help us in its own way, she said something about hidden fears and feelings. Liam was also here with Lauren, he's going to a party with her, he just started asking what happened today but totally uninterested. What happened to him and since when is he partying?”.</em></p><p> </p><p>Louis frowned. These were really good questions but he couldn't answer them.</p><p>“Everything okay?” asked Harry attentively.</p><p>“It was just Zayn. Kida was with him today and said the moon was just helping us and said something about hidden fears and feelings. I don't know” summarized Louis, pushing the tin into the oven and taking the other out.</p><p>“What kind of hidden feelings? That makes no sense” Harry didn't understand.</p><p>“No idea. Zayn also said Liam was there with Lauren. He's going to a party with her today” told Louis him.</p><p>“Really? I thought he would be with Zayn after what happened” wondered Harry baffled.</p><p>“I thought so too, but apparently he prefers to party with strange girls. Sounds totally like him” said Louis sarcastically.</p><p>“What is it, Louis?” Harry wanted to know.</p><p>“I just don't get Liam at the moment. He is behaving so strangely. In these last days, he is uninterested and always hanging around other people he never knew. Since when does he go partying and since when is he friends with Lauren and her girls? He is acting so strange since the full moon thing” sighed Louis desperately and wondered what was going on inside Liam's head.</p><p>“What happened at the full moon anyway? I was kind of distracted and have no idea what happened” hooked Harry hesitantly.</p><p>Louis had completely forgotten that Harry didn't know anything about it. Should he tell him? After what Harry had said at the party it could mess up the evening or hurt Zayn. Maybe it was better that he didn't know it. Maybe that's how it should be. But when Louis looked at Harry and he realized that Harry had noticed his hesitation, Louis felt terrible. Harry looked hurt and Louis wanted to change that. At some point, you had to start small and now was the moment.</p><p>“Zayn kissed Liam. Liam was frozen and just disappeared in the morning. He ignored his calls, but I thought the two clarified that shit. Zayn said he talked to him and that Liam said it was all right between them because it was just the moon and he knows that he overreacted. No idea what his problem is now” informed Louis him honestly. He looked at Harry and saw that he hadn't expected to get an honest answer. These baby steps on each other made Louis somehow happy. He thought that was an anachronism but didn't question it.</p><p>“He kissed him? Can it be that the moon is lonely? Just forget that. But um … Liam just disappeared? In which way?” asked Harry with a frown.</p><p>“Well, when I woke up Liam was gone, but he didn't wake us up. The school key with a note was lying by the door. I don't know why he left or how he opened the doors. That wasn't his handwriting” told Louis him more closely.</p><p>Now Harry looked down and played with his ribbons on his arm. “That was me. I thought, if I let you down so selfishly, I can take advantage of it and get the key for you, at least” confessed Harry. Louis didn't know what to say. He never thought Harry would do that.</p><p>“And just fucking Mrs. Stewart was no use enough?” questioned Louis, but once again regretted the question. No idea why this incident was such a thorn in the eye for him and he had to keep talking about it.</p><p>“Sorry, that was stupid of me. Thank you, Harry. You helped us a lot. I didn't expect that” apologized Louis when Harry didn't say anything.</p><p>“No problem. I had to do something” he shrugged his shoulders.</p><p>“Maybe I should talk to Liam and find out what's going on. After all, he said it would be all right. Why is he suddenly partying? We're talking about Liam. That's not normal for him otherwise that wouldn't be a problem” changed Louis the topic.</p><p>“Maybe he just enjoys the new attention he gets from the band. It looks like it for me. Liam believes too fast what you tell him and doesn't ask why they want to hang out with him. Not everybody means well” pointed Harry out.</p><p>To hear such a statement from him totally surprised Louis. He sounded seriously thoughtful and worried about Liam's well-being. Throughout the day, Harry had surprised Louis with statements or things he did that were atypical of what they knew about Harry. He behaved so differently. He was so open, happy and almost nice. Louis just wanted to accept and enjoy it, but the broken part of him found it all suspicious and had problems trusting the peace.</p><p>“You could be right” agreed Louis anyway.</p><p>“I smell pizza” called Emily as she came into the kitchen.</p><p> </p><p>Together, they set the table and then sat down to eat dinner together. The pizza had turned out really good and Louis really enjoyed eating next to Harry. Only a question from his little sister almost killed him.</p><p>“Are you Louis' boyfriend?” asked Stella innocently. When Louis heard these words, he choked on his food until he almost cried. He coughed and got ready for the worst.</p><p>“No. Unfortunately, I'm not. Louis and I are just friends” answered Harry sweetly. Louis felt like he was in the wrong movie. Did Harry really just say that?</p><p>“That's Zayn anyway” laughed Sophia amused.</p><p>“Very funny” rolled Louis his eyes.</p><p>After that, there were no further incidents. Everyone ate their pizza and helped to clear away. Even Harry, who insisted, though Jasmine said he was a guest. When they were done, Louis and Harry went upstairs into Louis' room and sat down on the bed.</p><p>“That was a fun evening,” said Harry with a smile.</p><p>“Yeah, my sisters seem to like you, whatever” grinned Louis and Harry pushed him aside.</p><p>“Your mother loves me” exaggerated Harry.</p><p>“Oh, sure. She would love to adopt you and replace me” joked Louis.</p><p>“She would never do that. She loves you too much” said Harry suddenly deadly serious. Louis wondered if there was more behind it.</p><p>“And what do you want to do now?” changed Louis the subject.</p><p>“We could watch a movie” suggested Harry hopefully.</p><p>“Good idea. What do you want to watch and remember, we're not at Liam's so there's no reason to watch Disney” laughed Louis.</p><p>“What have you got here?” asked Harry, scrambling to the DVD shelf.</p><p>“Anything. Would you like something scary?” questioned Louis interested.</p><p>“I'm not the biggest fan of scary” admitted Harry ashamed.</p><p>“No problem, neither am I,” told Louis him.</p><p>Finally, they decided on a romantic comedy because Harry wanted to see that. Louis pictured in his head how Harry had always watched those alone in his room if he had done that. Pretty sad. Did he always like those movies and never told anyone or was this one of the new things?</p><p>They started the film and sat down in the middle of the bed very close to each other. Louis enjoyed every second of the evening. It was like they have been friends forever. They laughed and talked and just enjoyed each other’s company. He so damn much hoped his past and its consequences wouldn't ruin that, or his crush wouldn't come back now that Harry was so adorable.</p><p>With that in mind, Louis fell asleep just before the end of the movie, followed by Harry. There was a smile on his face because he had gotten exactly the evening he had hoped for. A movie with Harry.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. 16. The Offer</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>Light sunbeams fell through the slit of the curtains on his face and made him nose up like a rabbit. Slowly, he opened his eyes and caught his surroundings. He wasn't in his room and wasn't lying in his bed. That wouldn't be the first time he woke up like this in the morning, but this time he couldn't remember a hook-up. Carefully, he turned in bed and saw a sleeping Louis beside him. That reminded Harry again. The beating up, the training, the pizza, the movie. They must have fallen asleep during the movie. Harry decided not to wake Louis up yet.</p><p>Next to the pillow, Harry found his phone and saw that he had one message. From his father. His friends' parents would probably have asked where he was since he hadn't come home in the evening, but his father just wanted to make sure he brought the forgotten files over and brought them to dinner this evening. No questions, just commands. How could Harry endure that for so long and be called good and be carried away without realizing how wrong it was?</p><p>His father treated him like an employee sometimes and not like his son. He just wanted a cheap copy of himself to secure a deal, but Harry didn't want that anymore. He didn't want to be his father's Mini-Me. He wanted to become an independent person with his own goals and ideas. With a better way to live life. Harry decided not to answer his father and just ignore the orders. That will not please his father, but he didn't care. He wanted to live his own life as he wanted.</p><p>Wow, those thoughts made him stunned. He would never have expected such a thing, but now it was impossible not to imagine. Since Liam, Niall, Zayn and Louis had played an important role in his life without Harry noticing it. Now it wasn't possible without the boys. They had become incredibly important to him and he realized that now. He didn't want to spend a day without having them as friends. The others around him have been right the whole time. These guys were really special. Every single one of them. They saw the world with better eyes and tried to approach and help people without prejudice or judgement, whether they liked the person or not. Selfless and helpful. Unbiased.</p><p>A warm, comfortable feeling spread through Harry's mind. When he was lying there and thought about it, he realized what it was. He was happy. For the first time really happy. Don't get him wrong. Before, he was satisfied with his life and thought he wouldn't miss anything. But he was wrong. There was more than just satisfaction. Being happy was the goal and you couldn't buy or force that. Luck came to you when you didn't expect it at all. And you were happy if you allowed it to happen. If you look below the surface or behind the walls. Yes, Harry was happy, thanks to his new unstable friendship. He was aware of that. Friendship was something very fragile. He understood that now. But it was also the most precious thing in the world. He would protect it from that day on. God, Harry was sentimental today.</p><p>Shaking his thoughts aside, he turned to the side facing Louis, who was still asleep. Harry studied his features as he slept, so peaceful and carefree. Louis had a really sweet nose and protruding cheekbones. His skin looked so soft in the morning light. His feathery chestnut brown hair was ruffled by the night but still looked beautiful.</p><p>Carefully, Harry brushed a few strands of hair from his face, lightly brushing against Louis' forehead, which gave him Goosebumps. Harry's gaze went from his closed eyes down to Louis' lips. They were so thin and pink and looked so soft. For a moment Harry's head played off memories of the full moon. He had actually kissed those lips against his will and instead of thinking about how Louis felt because of it, he had only worried about his reputation and tried to threaten Louis so he wouldn't say anything.</p><p>Now that he was lying here looking at Louis or staring at him without consciously noticing it, he wondered how Louis had dealt with it or was still dealing with the full moon night. He had already noticed that there was something that nobody wanted to tell him and it was related to Louis. With Louis and fear of contact or something like that. Harry couldn't imagine what it was.</p><p>Before he could think about it, Louis moved slightly and tentatively opened his beautiful ocean blue eyes, into which Harry immediately unconsciously got lost. When Louis got used to the light, he looked at Harry confused.</p><p>“Harry?” he asked sleepily in a deep morning voice which sent shivers down Harry's whole body.</p><p>“Good morning, Loubear. Did you sleep well?” asked Harry, the nickname just rolling off his tongue before he could stop it.</p><p>“Yeah, I did. My neck just feels a bit stiff. I guess I slept weird” yawned Louis and didn't seem to have heard the nickname.</p><p>Shortly, he closed his eyes again and Harry stared at him again. Dark bruises from the kicks of Aidan were now on his forehead. Seeing that made Harry so infuriated again. How could you want to hurt this angel? How could he be so mean to him? From now on, Harry would do anything to make amends.</p><p>“Did we fall asleep while watching the movie?” asked Louis confused.</p><p>“Looks like it. I'll leave right away, then you can ... “.</p><p>“No, Haz, you don't need to. Just let's have breakfast” interrupted Louis him and Harry's smile widened as he used that nickname. Nobody called him that. Only Louis.</p><p>Grumbling, Louis stood up followed by Harry and went down to the kitchen. As it was, nobody else was awake or already gone. Harry watched how Louis questioningly looked into the fridge and remembered that Louis couldn't cook without setting the kitchen on fire.</p><p>“What do you think about pancakes?” suggested Harry hungrily.</p><p>“Always good, but only if I don't make them” grinned Louis sheepishly.</p><p>Shaking his head, Harry searched the cabinets until he had all the ingredients together. Then he started to prepare the pancakes while Louis watched him. He sat on the kitchen counter and let his feet dangle down. Harry didn't know why, but he liked this morning routine. He liked to see Louis' face first thing in the morning and have breakfast with him. How Louis looked at him and gave him credit for such pettiness warmed Harry's heart, which until recently he thought was ice cold and unusable.</p><p>“How on earth do you do this without messing it up?” wondered Louis as Harry turned the pancakes in the pan.</p><p>“The speed is the key. You have to turn them fast and not too slow. But actually, I'm just fantastic. You can't learn that” grinned Harry, turning his back to Louis.</p><p>“Oh, of course. You were born to cook. No one can do that as good as you” rolled Louis his eyes in amusement.</p><p>“You don't cook pancakes” corrected Harry.</p><p>“Shut up and make my food” laughed Louis playfully.</p><p>“On command, Bossy” grinned Harry happily.</p><p>“I smell food” sounded Jasmine's voice from the hallway.</p><p>“It's not me. The kitchen is still standing” called Louis over to her.</p><p>“Then it can only be Harry. Good morning, you two” she greeted the two smiling as she came into the kitchen.</p><p>“Morning, Mum”.</p><p>“Good morning, Jasmine” greeted Harry her kindly. He felt at home with the Tomlinson's even though until a while ago he didn't know what it felt like. But now he knew the feeling and didn't want to miss it anymore.</p><p>“How is your head, Darling?” asked Jasmine, stroking Louis' hair out of his face.</p><p>“I'm fine. No need to worry” he assured her.</p><p>“I'm your mother. Of course, I'm worried. That's my job” insisted Jasmine concerned.</p><p>“I know, Mum and I love you for that, but I'm fine” he smiled at her.</p><p>“You always say that and we both know that's not always true. You just want me to not worry, Sweetheart” countered Jasmine.</p><p>“I can't deny that, but this time I'm really fine. It was taken care of” clarified Louis honestly.</p><p>“And thanks to Harry. Thank you again” thanked Jasmine Harry.</p><p>“I didn't do anything. I was just trying to help” waved Harry it off.</p><p>“And that's the big miracle. My Louis is stubborn and reluctant to help. Anything you t ...”.</p><p>“Mum, does that have to be?” interrupted Louis her pleadingly.</p><p>“I'm already quiet” laughed Jasmine.</p><p>Harry repeated her words in his head again. Louis was stubborn. Harry already knew that. He was himself, too. But that Louis was reluctant to let someone help him but let Harry help him was a piece of information that made Harry think. Unintentionally, he had to remember that Louis once had a crush on him. He still didn't know what he should think of it and how he should handle it. That a guy could have feelings for him was something he had never considered, especially not Louis. He was nothing but mean to him and yet it happened. He said it was a kind of confusion and not anymore, but Harry wondered if this crush would come back now that he was nicer and there was no reason to hate him and make it any more complicated.</p><p>He didn't want Louis to have feelings for him. That was still a funny idea for Harry. Friends but not more. Louis was too important to him. He didn't want to lose him for such primitive things as feelings. He had to know that for sure, but how was he supposed to do it without being suspicious? However, Louis had said it was over, so maybe Harry should just believe him and that's it.</p><p>After breakfast, Louis and Harry got ready and left the house. Before the game, they wanted to go swimming again. They put their things on the hidden rocks and then ran into the water. The two had never done that alone before, but Harry felt good about it. He enjoyed spending time with Louis. They challenged each other for a race that Louis won. Gasping and laughing, the two arrived on an island and sat down to rest.</p><p>Harry's eyes wandered from the surroundings back to Louis. Water drops ran down his chest and over his face. He had his eyes turned upwards, giving Harry a good look on his neck, over which Harry wanted to brush his finger. Louis leaned his arms against the edge and leaned out of the water. Harry's eyes were fixed on Louis' strong and tensed biceps. Louis also had a light six-pack, which Harry now stared at. Louis, with drops of water on his muscles, his well-trained body and wet hair, was beautiful. His blue eyes sparkled brightly in the sunlight. Harry had never seen such a shade of blue before. Louis didn't even notice how Harry was looking at him any more than Harry did himself. Harry was also wondering what Louis was thinking about.</p><p>“Let's go or I'll be late” jumped Louis back into the water.</p><p>“You mean we” corrected Harry.</p><p>“Why we?” Louis didn't understand.</p><p>“I'm coming to the game, you fool. Let's go” said Harry with a chuckle.</p><p>“Are you my shadow now?” raised Louis an eyebrow at him.</p><p>“Don't you want me with you?” asked Harry a little bit sad and almost hurt.</p><p>“I didn't say that. I just thought you'd have something better to do on a Saturday than go to a kids football game. Maybe you'll reject some girl for it and I don't want that” explained Louis his doubts.</p><p>“Don't worry about that. One thing doesn't get in the way of the other” assured Harry him.</p><p>“If you say so” shrugged Louis and then disappeared.</p><p>Harry followed him and together they swam back to the beach. Harry quickly dried them without setting them on fire and then they made their way to the game. Meanwhile, they talked about everything and Harry realized once again how much he liked to listen to Louis talk. But he also noticed that Louis liked to listen to him, no matter what crap he told him. Sean had told him years ago not to talk so much because it made him seem crazy, but Louis didn't seem to care. He gave him his full attention the whole time.</p><p>On the football field, Louis rushed briefly into the locker room while the first children arrived. When Louis was done, he came back to Harry and then prepared everything with Sam. Something about the familiarity and closeness between Sam and Louis disliked Harry, but he didn't know what it was. He couldn't put his finger on it yet, no matter how hard he tried.</p><p>By and by, all children came to Louis and the opposing team was finally there. Louis' kids were really good and took the lead after a short time. Louis cheered the kids on vigorously and motivated them whenever he could. He was a great coach. During the half-time break, he brought everyone to him and knelt down to them. It looked like he was telling them how great they were and gave them one or two tips.</p><p>Harry watched all of this in awe. How Louis beamed when his kids had made it or when one of them was happy. That was indescribably nice to watch. He kinda admired Louis with kids.</p><p>“He's good with kids” tore Sam's voice Harry from his thoughts.</p><p>“Yes, he is” he replied curtly. Sam wasn't a bad guy, but he got on too well with Louis for Harry's liking.</p><p>“How come you're here today? I thought that wasn't your thing” asked Sam curiously.</p><p>“I'm here for Louis” answered Harry firmly.</p><p>“So, you are friends now?” chimed Sam in as if he knew something that Harry didn't know.</p><p>“Yeah, I think we are,” said Harry, looking back at Louis, who smiled at him from a distance. Harry returned the smile.</p><p>“I see. I'm so glad for you. I see a strong connection between you and it's great that you don't ignore that any longer” smiled Sam contently.</p><p>“Connection?” turned Harry his head to him in confusion.</p><p>“Yeah. The way you look at each other, how you interact, how you talk about each other. That's special”.</p><p>With that, Sam left and Harry was left wondering what he meant by that. He turned back to Louis, who was fully focused on the game. But Harry couldn't stop looking at Louis for a second. How he laughed, how he beamed. Yes, Louis was an angel. Too good for this world. A selfless good-natured helpful angel without wings.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>---&gt;</p><p> </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“Sorry, I'm late. Harry and I got nonsense” apologized Louis, gasping for air as he arrived finally at the ice cream parlour.</p><p>“No problem. Otherwise, I'm always late” grinned Violetta smugly.</p><p>“Why on earth were you with Harry?” asked Zayn in surprise.</p><p>Louis dropped himself exhausted in the chair and took the ice cream card. “Well, after the incident yesterday he brought me home and then stayed to make sure that I'm fine or something. Then he came to the training, so I don't overwork and then we made pizza or more like a flour war. In the evening we watched a movie where we fell asleep and this morning after breakfast he came to the game. No idea why, but it was nice”.</p><p>“Uhh, you and Harry? I never expected that, but Harry has changed quite a bit in a short while” cooed Violetta.</p><p>“Shut up. It's not like that” blushed Louis.</p><p>“You spent time with Harry? Voluntarily? That doesn't sound like you at all, but I've seen you two make peace. To be honest, I wouldn't have expected such a big change so soon” wondered Zayn sceptically.</p><p>“Believe me, Zayn, me neither. Until yesterday I didn't think I could forgive him in the near future, but something happened yesterday. This sudden care, the worry and all that, no idea. It was all too real. I just realized he was really trying and we really had a lot of fun. He's different than I expected. It just kinda happened” told Louis him.</p><p>“It's good when Harry finally comes to his senses. If you've forgiven him I can do it now as well. But are you sure it's good for you to spend so much time alone with him? Don't you fear the feelings might come back?” gave Zayn reason for concern.</p><p>“I knew it. You have a crush on Harry!” exclaimed Violetta palmy.</p><p>“Thank you, Joey” snorted Louis.</p><p>“Sorry, but I had to ask that”.</p><p>“First of all. No, Vilu, I don't have a crush. I had an inexplicable crush, but that's over. Just because he's not an asshole anymore it's not coming back right now. Over is over” clarified Louis. Zayn studied Louis closely and saw the uncertainty in his eyes. He was as scared as Zayn. He just didn't want to admit that to Violetta.</p><p>“Fine, if you say so” finished Zayn the topic, but threw a look at Louis saying that they were going to talk about it again alone.</p><p>The three ordered their ice cream and talked about God and the world. Violetta told them what she had planned for the band page and got the guys’ approval. Her ideas were great. Then they told her everything about the incident at school with Ethan, Aidan and Sean. She just couldn't believe that the boys had really become violent. When they finished eating Violetta went to the bathroom while the boys paid.</p><p>“Is everything okay, Joey?” tilted Louis his head aside to look at Zayn. He had noticed how absent-minded his best friend was today.</p><p>“Not really. I'm worried about Liam” sighed Zayn worriedly.</p><p>“Still because of that kiss?” hooked Louis.</p><p>“No, although he still acts weird around me. It's his job at the park” told Zayn him.</p><p>“What about it?” Louis wanted to know.</p><p>“You know he's working there with that group of three scientists right now and I just have a bad feeling about it. He's already too deep into it and seems to change. They treat him badly, but he is totally obsessed and not very careful. I'm scared” opened Zayn up to him.</p><p>“I understand. That he is working so closely with such people makes me nervous too and he is definitely changing. We should talk to him to make sure everything is good” could Louis understand Zayn's fear. He had a weird feeling, too.</p><p>“Yeah. We should do that” agreed Zayn and then fell silent. “Are you sure about Harry?”.</p><p>“I just don't want to be still unforgiving and hold it against him again and again. Yesterday and today I've seen how he can be and that's enough for me to start afresh” assured Louis him.</p><p>“If you're really sure then I will do that too” smiled Zayn at him.</p><p>“And if I said no?” Louis wanted to know curiously.</p><p>“Then I would continue to be dismissive of him until you are ready,” said Zayn determined.</p><p>“But why?”.</p><p>“I totally have your back, support you. I'm here for you. Unless you trust him I will not do it. It's that simple” told Zayn him. Zayn's loyalty to his best friend was incomparable and he would do anything for him.</p><p>“Joey, you're incredible. I couldn't have a better friend” marvelled Louis happily.</p><p>“Thanks, but the same applies to you, Tommy”. Louis smiled at him but then looked down and played with his hands. “What's it?” Zayn wanted to know worriedly.</p><p>“You've just talked about trust. Just because I forgave him I don't trust him yet. Unfortunately, I can't do that even though I want it. You know I'm having trouble with it and I’m wondering if I can ever trust him fully” confessed Louis sadly.</p><p>“I know, Tommy. Take all the time you need. Trust is a tricky thing; he has to understand that. After all, there are reasons not to trust him completely. I do not” lay Zayn calmly his hand on Louis'.</p><p>“You're right, thanks. And hey, we were swimming today, who would have thought that?” changed Louis the subject, causing Zayn to chuckle.</p><p>“Who was swimming?” came Violetta back.</p><p>“Nobody. Let's go, my butt hurts from sitting” distracted Louis, but Zayn saw Violetta's face and knew perfectly well that she was suspicious. Again</p><p> </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Do you remember how you almost fell off the bridge?” laughed Violetta as they crossed a small park.</p><p>“Yes, but just because you were so dorky and didn't hold your purse properly” joined Louis in the laughter.</p><p>“That was the same day that Zayn nearly killed me” Vilu reminded herself.</p><p>“I will never forget that face”.</p><p>“Hey, it's your own fault when you try to take my hairspray. You really have a longing to die” said Zayn with a grin.</p><p>“Oh, sorry, Princess” she bowed.</p><p>“Do you remember how the librarian looked when Niall fell off the chair that one day?” asked Louis as he hopped on the path.</p><p>“That was unique” laughed Zayn sunny.</p><p>“Best of all, he just lay there and made no move to get up. So much I've never laughed in my life” commented Violetta with a grin.</p><p>“I think we have traumatized the poor woman” noted Louis to concerns.</p><p>“We can do that well” stated Zayn proudly.</p><p>“Oh, hey guys” greeted Nikki them as she crossed their path.</p><p>“My Nikki!!! We just talked about how Niall was lying on the floor of the library and was talking to the air” hugged Violetta her.</p><p>“I remember that. I almost fell off my chair laughing, too” reminded Nikki herself.</p><p>“Then I would have had to drag two laughing idiots with me” commented Louis cheekily.</p><p>“Hey, that was your fault alone. You made him laugh” countered Nicole.</p><p>“I just breathed, Nikki. I can't help it if he thinks it's funny” shrugged Louis.</p><p>Just when Zayn wanted to say something his phone beeped. He rummaged it out and saw a message from Liam.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>From Lima @Magical Freaks:</b>
</p><p>“<em>Hey what's up. I'm going to the beach with the guys and they want you to come along. Swing your asses out here”.</em></p><p> </p><p>Confused, Zayn looked at Louis, who apparently had received the same message. “Is he being serious?”.</p><p>“Seems like it” mumbled Louis in wonderment.</p><p>“What's happening?” Violetta wanted to know.</p><p>“Oh nothing, just Liam. He's probably hanging out with these guys again” answered Louis unimpressed.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <b>From Zaddy @Magical Freaks:</b>
  </em>
</p><p>“<em>Which guys and are you serious? The beach?”.</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <b>From Tommo:</b>
  </em>
</p><p>“<em>Liam, what's up with you?”.</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <b>From Nialler:</b>
  </em>
</p><p>“<em>Sorry, I'm with Harry and we don't want to destroy your party mood due to the freaks showing up and how daft avoid the water. Don't you think that would be a bit conspicuous?”.</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <b>From Harry:</b>
  </em>
</p><p>“<em>I see it like Niall”.</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <b>From Tommo:</b>
  </em>
</p><p>“<em>Ditto”.</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <b>From Lima:</b>
</p><p>“<em>You're so boring, you fools. Then wait, see you later .... maybe”.</em></p><p> </p><p>“Unimaginable. What's wrong with him?” groaned Zayn in disbelief.</p><p>“Does he want you to come to the others?” checked Nikki carefully.</p><p>“Yes, and because we said no, he says we're boring,” told Louis her.</p><p>“He just asked me, too, and Victoria, but I'm not keen on getting my hands on those fake people. I thought he'd be smart enough to realize how fake they are” let Nikki them know.</p><p>“Unfortunately not” sighed Louis disappointedly.</p><p>“We're about to lose him. We have to do something” moaned Violetta.</p><p>“We can't do anything,” said Zayn disappointed.</p><p>“Maybe you can talk to him” suggested Nikki.</p><p>“Believe me, it's no good. Right now he's not listening to anyone, especially not me” lowered Zayn his head.</p><p>“Then it must be really bad. I always thought you two were inseparable and would marry someday” remarked Nikki casually.</p><p>“Same here” agreed Violetta shortly.</p><p>“What? We? Never. Liam sees me only as a best friend” argued Zayn shocked. Nikki really believed they would marry? He has always been afraid she might like Liam, but he was probably too paranoid.</p><p>“Does that mean you see it differently?” raised Violetta an eyebrow at him.</p><p>“I did not say that. Let's go or people will think we're trees, too” distracted Zayn. Violetta and Nikki just smirked and Louis grinned knowingly at him.</p><p>“Let's go to the beach. We've never been there together” suggested Nikki.</p><p>“No!” Zayn and Louis exclaimed simultaneously.</p><p>“Why not?” asked Violetta suspiciously. Zayn couldn't think clearly so he said nothing.</p><p>“Um, cause, um ... because Liam is there with his new friends. We didn't want to go there” stammered Louis nervously.</p><p>“Oh okay, let's go to town then. I want to buy a book anyway” said Nikki and together they started walking into the city.</p><p>Zayn and Louis glanced at each other and both were relieved. But Violetta looked at the two suspicious and very sceptical. Zayn was sure she knew they were hiding something from her. Either they had to be more careful, avoid her, dish up a lie or tell her the truth before she found out on her own.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>---&gt;</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The ocean lay still at dusk and scattered stars sparkled in the sky. The water washed small stones to the beach. Suddenly, a tiny green plant rose from the ground out of nowhere into the darkness of the night. One second later the plant was on fire and a shocked gasp sounded through the silence.</p><p>“Hey, you destroyed my plant” complained Niall childishly.</p><p>“That was never on purpose” grinned Harry mischievously.</p><p>“That's unfair. One can't destroy your powers” grumbled Niall offended.</p><p>“Maybe but it's harder for me to control them and you can easily lose your supposed control” confessed Harry surprisingly.</p><p>“Really?” tilted Niall his head to one side.</p><p>“Yes indeed. My powers are activated when I don't realise it, or I might freak out suddenly. You think that's easy?” asked Harry seriously.</p><p>“I haven't thought about that before. It must be really corrosive” mused Niall.</p><p>“It's not nice, but it's okay” shrugged Harry unchanged.</p><p>Without further ado, Niall turned back to the sea. He would have never thought that Harry would have problems with his powers, or rather would admit it.</p><p>Niall focused again on a spot where the water touched the sand, stretched out his hand and let a new flower grow to practise his powers. Next to him, Harry created small flames and fireballs in the air. He studied it for a while and smiled satisfied. Suddenly, Niall saw his flower iced up. Surprised, he turned around and spotted Louis and Zayn on the rocks.</p><p>“Well, Niall, are you playing with magic?” shook Zayn his head in amusement.</p><p>“Says the one who just iced my masterpiece” countered Niall skilfully.</p><p>“Touché” was Zayn beaten.</p><p>Niall now noticed that Zayn had his arm around Louis' waist and Louis had his head on Zayn's shoulder. That looked very comfortable. The two sat down next to Niall. Still in the same position.</p><p>On the other side next to him, Niall felt Harry getting restless and squinted over at him. Harry's face was petrified and he stared at Zayn and Louis. If Niall didn't know better, he would say smoothly Harry was jealous of Zayn and would happily turn his back on him for daring to be so close to Louis. But Harry was straight, he mentioned that again and again and Niall didn't want to think about how many women he had seen naked. Why did he react that way then?</p><p>“Hi Harry, are you alright?” greeted Zayn Harry smilingly.</p><p>Where did this kindness suddenly come from? Niall thought Zayn hated Harry. Was that related to what Harry had told him about yesterday and today and that Louis had forgiven him? Was he just so repellent to Harry for loyalty and protection? Would suit Zayn.</p><p>“Everything's fine. What about you?” asked Harry a bit surprised.</p><p>“Well, for my part, I feel great. The day was awesome. We had a lot of fun with Vilu and Nikki, right Tommy?” turned Zayn to Louis, who still had his head on his shoulder.</p><p>“Yes, it was great. I love the two. If I wasn't gay I'd marry one of them, but in this life, I'll probably marry you, Joey” yawned Louis absently, probably not noticing what he said. Even Niall wasn't used to hearing Louis say he was gay. It was obvious that he was very tired.</p><p>“I'm honoured. That doesn't sound like I'm your last choice at all” snorted Zayn dramatically.</p><p>“You're my second choice, Zayn. You know that. Live with it” grinned Louis sleepily.</p><p>“You're my second choice, too” agreed Zayn weirdly.</p><p>“Naww, that would be almost sweet if it wasn't pathetic. Who is your first choice for whom you would leave each other?” cooed Niall exaggeratedly.</p><p>“That's my secret” put Louis a finger to his lips. When he was so tired he acted as if he was drunk.</p><p>“Well, don't tell me then. Does one of you know where Liam is?” changed Niall the subject.</p><p>At the mention of Liam's name, Zayn jerked slightly but tried to keep his composure. “No, I thought he was here”.</p><p>“And I thought he might come with you” frowned Niall deeply.</p><p>“We probably all thought wrong” concluded Harry matter-of-factly.</p><p>“You're really smart, Haz” giggled Louis cutely.</p><p>“And you are very tired, Lou” replied Harry endeared.</p><p>Haz? Lou? What had Niall missed? The two sounded as if they had been married for ten years and Louis would have come home drunk just for Harry to feed him and love and cuddle him. A funny idea that made Niall smile for some dumb reason.</p><p>“Niall, why did you want to talk to us?” Zayn wanted to know now.</p><p>“Actually, I wanted to wait for Liam,” remarked Niall unsure.</p><p>“He's not here, so it doesn't seem to matter to him …” trailed Zayn off.</p><p>“Well, I wanted you to come because I want to tell you something” began Niall to tell them and all three focused their attention only on him. “Phil, my boss in case you forgot, made me an offer today. He offered us to perform at the Sea Snack. He'd also give us a rehearsal room. It may not be perfect, but it's his way of supporting us. I told him I'm asking you today”.</p><p>“Niall, that's awesome. That's great news” said Zayn happily.</p><p>“Zayn is right, that's great. A great opportunity for us” agreed Harry with Zayn surprisingly.</p><p>“Really? I honestly expected you would say it's not enough” confessed Niall awkwardly.</p><p>“Maybe it would have been that way a while ago, but not anymore. I think that's great, it's a great start for us. Not everyone gets the chance. This way we can get into this band rhythm” declared Harry smilingly.</p><p>“That's right. Like this, we gain experience and can find out where this band is going” agreed Louis with Harry. That there were no discussions and the three agreed, Niall had to register first.</p><p>“Glad you like the idea” smiled Niall with satisfaction.</p><p>“Why shouldn't we? Everyone starts off small. Your boss is really great. We can't refuse this offer” said Louis wearily.</p><p>“At least we can stay true to ourselves and don't get pushed into a wrong image” muttered Harry barely audible.</p><p>“What do you mean by that?” checked Niall baffled.</p><p>“Oh, nothing important” tried Harry to distract, but Niall just looked at him piercingly. “Fine. My Dad saw the videos as well and said something like it could be useful for him and made terrible suggestions for changes to the band. He works in the business, but his support would be rather … let's say negative. Probably fame overnight, but at what price?! Rather small but free than big and enslaved”.</p><p>“That doesn't sound very nice. What kind of people is he working with?” asked Niall concerned.</p><p>“Well, he works for a big music company here in Australia. I can't remember a name, just a lot of women in far too short clothes and a lot of discussions about oppression and stuff like that. The business can be tough” went Harry into more detail.</p><p>“Since when do half-naked women disturb you?” raised Zayn his eyebrows.</p><p>“Just because I like to sleep with them doesn't mean I'm okay with selling them below value” defended Harry himself.</p><p>“That's surprising. Wow, I didn't expect that. I'm really impressed” admitted Zayn overwhelmed.</p><p>“Um, thank you” scratched Harry the back of his neck.</p><p>“You said something about changes, which ones?” Louis wanted to know.</p><p>“Nothing helpful. Just stupid stuff. Not worth mentioning, Lou” Harry didn't want to answer the question.</p><p>“It feels more like you just don't want to tell us” pointed Niall out.</p><p>“Believe me, you don't want to know that. I'm still mad because of that and I don't want you to take this to heart. My dad just likes mainstream shit” Harry almost begged them to drop the subject.</p><p>“So bad?” looked Louis at him with wide big sleepy eyes.</p><p>“He said Niall should sing less and stand still instead of hopping around and we need a lead singer, which is total nonsense” gave Harry in, half at least.</p><p>It hurt quite a bit to hear that, but Niall knew that not everyone could handle his overjoyed and loud way. A music professional found him too overactive. That made him think, but that's exactly what Harry didn't want to achieve. That's why Niall tried to forget that because Harry didn't seem to share his father's opinion.</p><p>“Was that all?” inquired Louis as if noticing that Harry was holding something back.</p><p>“No, but I don't want to repeat that. It made me the maddest and it's not true” replied Harry, meaning that Niall knew he must have said something bad about Louis.</p><p>“You can tell me. I can handle it” tried Louis to sound convincing but failed.</p><p>“Louis, why do you want to know that? I said ... urgh, he doesn't like your voice, okay? He said it sounds terrible and you should sing the least. But Louis, that's nonsense. Do you hear me?” exploded Harry and Louis' face fell at those words just like expected.</p><p>“But you said that too, so there must be something in it” voiced Louis concern.</p><p>“I wasn't objective then. I wanted to make you look bad, but you're not. Your voice is special, unique. It's very rare and beautiful. No one should ever silence you; do you understand?” assured Harry him.</p><p>“Understood” nodded Louis hesitantly, looking Harry deep in the eyes and Harry returned that look.</p><p>“Well, since that's clear, I guess we all agree with the offer?” asked Niall again to cut the tension.</p><p>“Definitely”.</p><p>“One hundred per cent”.</p><p>“Of course”.</p><p>“Good, then only Liam is missing” concluded Niall and was happy about these answers. Just bad that Liam wasn't there. Where was he?</p><p>As if on cue, Liam appeared on the rocks in the dark. He climbed down to them and dropped beside them. “Here I am. I had something to do” gasped Liam exhausted.</p><p>“And you couldn't have said something so we wouldn't worry?” asked Zayn tense. Louis had now taken his head off Zayn's shoulder and Zayn had his arm back with him.</p><p>“I didn't have time for that and I didn't think about it” replied Liam, not realizing how angry the others were.</p><p>“What was so important?” Zayn wanted to know impatiently.</p><p>“At first, I was on the beach with Lauren and the other guys and we had so much fun that I forgot the time. After that, I immediately rushed to the harbour to catch them” let Liam them know.</p><p>“Lauren and the other guys?” grimaced Zayn.</p><p>“Who did you have to catch?” Niall wanted to know.</p><p>“Dr Baker and her team. They’re getting a new member for the team and I was told to meet them today to get introduced. I almost forgot, so I had to rush down there” explained Liam excitedly.</p><p>“You were with some doctor and you couldn't even write shortly before that you're coming late?” Zayn just didn't want to understand Liam.</p><p>“I was already late because we were at the beach for a long time, so that wasn't really important to me. I'm here now. What's up, Niall? What did you want to say?” shrugged Liam.</p><p>“Not important?” was Zayn surprised but Louis tried to calm him down by putting his arm around his shoulder and whispering something in his ear. It seemed to work, though Harry tensed directly. Liam didn't seem to care.</p><p>“Um ... Phil offers us to perform at the Sea Snack weekly. Every Saturday if it works out” repeated Niall the offer.</p><p>“Really? This is really great. This will please Lauren and the girls. Then they can hear us sing again” said Liam happily, causing Zayn to stare at him stunned and Louis tried to distract him desperately.</p><p>“Well, then everybody agreed. The first gig would be next week and we can rehearse before that” told Niall them, trying to fight against the tension.</p><p>“Great. Was that all?” clapped Liam into his hands.</p><p>“Do you have to go already?” asked Niall disappointed.</p><p>“I want to prepare for work, best today. They're in some very important studies” bristled Liam with motivation.</p><p>“By Dr who was that?” had Niall forgotten the name already.</p><p>“Dr Baker. She's great, just awesome. It's an honour to work for her” enthused Liam.</p><p>“I've heard of her before. Does she not do something kinda fishy?” tried Harry to remember concerned.</p><p>“Definitely not. Strictly studies. She was in America for a few months and since she is back her team focused more on the studies she did there. That's why we have Dr Walter now in our team” defended Liam Dr Baker and her supposedly legal work.</p><p>“Dr Walter? I read about him and his work about sea animals” threw Louis in.</p><p>“Sea animals? Like with water?” blinked Niall shocked.</p><p>“Of course, Niall. That's why they are sea animals” shook Liam his head as if they were stupid.</p><p>“Wait, what exactly is this Dr Walter by profession, Liam?” asked Zayn a little anxiously now.</p><p>“Marine biologist”.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. 17.1 Berry Cold</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>Satisfied and carefree, Zayn and Niall slid through the sea. They swam through the coral reef and watched the colourful fish in their natural habitat. Instead of directly disappearing like with divers, the sea creatures carefully approached them and took them into their midst. Fish of any kind, rays, jellyfish and even dolphins swam with them. They accepted them as part of the sea. Swimming with dolphins was an incredible feeling.</p><p>All of a sudden, everyone was scared off and fled in different directions. Niall and Zayn looked around and saw in panic how three big sharks approached. But instead of paying attention to them, they just swam past the boys straight away. Amazed, the two looked at each other and then looked after the sharks. Startled, they realized they were moving to the island circle with someone floating in the water of the coast.</p><p>Quickly, the two boys shot in the direction of the sharks and were right under the person and the surfboard. The sharks came closer and closer. Niall and Zayn had to come up with something soon, otherwise, it was too late. Around the islands, the sharks were somehow always particularly aggressive. No idea why.</p><p>Without thinking, Zayn used his powers and created a layer of ice in front of them in the middle of the ocean. Niall understood immediately and did the same with some water plants in which one shark got caught. Zayn froze the fins and Niall released them from the plant a bit. As if stung by the tarantula, the sharks fled and let go of the surfer.</p><p>Zayn and Niall gave each other a high five and watched as the windsurfer climbed back onto his board with difficulty. Apparently, he had fallen down. Who was so stupid and was windsurfing around those islands?</p><p>As the surfer moved away, Zayn and Niall swam to the surface and looked after him. That could have ended badly but they could prevent the worse. That was a strong feeling.</p><p>They gave the island circle a quick glance and then disappeared back into the sea. Their path led them both back to the secluded beach and after they were dry, to Louis. They absolutely had to tell him what had happened. Niall and Zayn had just saved someone's life and ducked sharks.</p><p>At the house, Niall pressed the bell. After a few seconds, the door opened, but instead of Louis, Harry stood in the doorway.</p><p>“Harry?” breathed Niall out in confusion.</p><p>“That's my name” he grinned, letting the two in.</p><p>“Where is Louis?” asked Niall perplexed.</p><p>“I'm here. Who's asking for me?” shouted Louis at Niall from the kitchen.</p><p>“Is he alone in the kitchen?” raised Zayn an eyebrow.</p><p>“If you hadn't rung, he wouldn't be alone in the kitchen. Hey, keep your hands off the pan or you will not get any ice cream!” grouched Harry into the kitchen.</p><p>“That's still my house” stamped Louis his foot.</p><p>“But I have permission to use the kitchen, not you” countered Harry skilfully.</p><p>“You somehow bewitched my mother” asserted Louis childishly.</p><p>“Or she knows I'll leave her kitchen in a whole when she's gone” contradicted Harry pleased.</p><p>“I just touched the pan. The kitchen doesn't fall apart because of that” rolled Louis his eyes.</p><p>“For sure?” looked Harry crookedly at him.</p><p>“Just be quiet, Harold” hissed Louis in amusement.</p><p>“Whatever you say, Lewis” grinned Harry, putting the pots and pans in the cupboards.</p><p>“Did I miss anything?” asked Niall perplexed again, who had been watching everything in the doorway and didn't understand the world anymore.</p><p>“What exactly do you mean?” Louis didn't understand the question.</p><p>“Forget it. We need to tell you something. Alone” changed Niall the subject, emphasizing the word alone.</p><p>“Emily and Sophia are still on the road and ..”.</p><p>“Stella and Luna are on the beach with my mum, so we have the house to ourselves” finished Louis Harry's sentence, something that made Niall even more confused. The two looked as close as if it had always been a routine.</p><p>“Maybe we should still go up to your room, so no one hears us when they come back” suggested Niall for safety’s sake.</p><p>“Good idea” agreed Louis and together they went upstairs.</p><p>Niall dragged a completely perplexed Zayn behind him, who looked at Harry and Louis very strangely. Apparently, Niall wasn't the only one who found that very strange.</p><p>“So, what's so top secret?” dropped Louis onto his bed next to Harry, who immediately leaned against Louis' shoulder as if automatically.</p><p>“Zayn and I were just swimming, with dolphins to be exact. That was amazing” tried Niall to focus on the reason they were here and not his strange acting friends.</p><p>“Really? With dolphins?” marvelled Harry in awe.</p><p>“Yes. It was as if they would accept us as part of their world, which has never happened to me before” enthused Niall dreamily.</p><p>“That sounds fairy tale” gushed Louis.</p><p>“That's true. It does” agreed Niall with him.</p><p>“But we didn't want to tell you that. In front of the island circle was a windsurfer” came Zayn back to the real thing.</p><p>“Wait, a windsurfer? Who is that stupid? It's teeming with sharks” wondered Harry confused.</p><p>“Exactly. And that's what the problem was. The windsurfer fell off his board and the sharks swam straight towards him, chasing away all the fish” informed Zayn them.</p><p>“That sounds awful. How did you get away?” asked Louis horrified.</p><p>“We didn't,” said Niall bluntly.</p><p>“What?” Harry and Louis asked synchronously. Some things never change apparently.</p><p>“We were totally scared, but the sharks didn't pay any attention to us, as if we were equal. But they wanted the surfer, so we went over there and protected him and drove the sharks out, which was exciting” continued Zayn.</p><p>“You drove the sharks out?” put Harry his head to one side.</p><p>“Yes, with our powers” explained Niall curtly.</p><p>“That's so cool. Now you're like superheroes” joked Louis giggly.</p><p>“Hey, that was very nerve-wracking, Tommy” pouted Zayn fakely offended.</p><p>“Naww, don't be offended, Joey. You were my hero before anyway” cooed Louis and leaned over to Zayn to tap his nose, which Zayn then wrinkled.</p><p>Harry grimaced slightly and ruffled Louis through the back of his hair as if to call his attention back to him. Louis sat down right back and Harry leaned against Louis satisfied and just smiled. Niall looked at Zayn, who was already looking at him confused and shrugged cluelessly.</p><p>“Who wants to watch a movie?” asked Niall his friends as a form of distraction.</p><p>“Always” Louis and Harry shouted at the same time, which made them giggle. Yeah, Harry fucking Styles, the I'm cool and straight and callous, just giggled. Really weird.</p><p>“Which movie?” hooked Zayn.</p><p>“No Disney or I jump out of this window” sighed Niall dramatically.</p><p>“But Disney is great” pouted Louis like a little kid.</p><p>“That's true” agreed Harry with him.</p><p>“And I thought Liam was the freak” joked Niall.</p><p>“Louis, why do you have this movie here?” wiggled Zayn his eyebrows strangely at him, showing off a random DVD of a vampire movie.</p><p>“I told you before, you look stupid when you do that” laughed Louis, dropping into Harry's lap, who immediately put an arm around him.</p><p>“That wasn't an answer” protested Zayn as he regarded the two with a smirk.</p><p>“That was actually for my sister, but it turned out that she already has it” explained Louis casually.</p><p>“That's a sign!” exclaimed Niall energetically.</p><p>“For what?” cocked Harry an eyebrow at him.</p><p>“That we should watch it”.</p><p>“I'm not a big vampire fan,” told Louis them.</p><p>“But you do like Edward, don't you?” looked Harry at him wide-eyed.</p><p>“No, young Harry, not really” Louis had to disappoint him.</p><p>“There's this really pretty girl for Niall and a really good-looking coach for you, Tommy” let Zayn him know.</p><p>“Can it be that you know the movie?” concluded Louis smartly.</p><p>“My sister watched it with me” claimed Zayn way too fast.</p><p>“Of course” rolled Louis his eyes.</p><p>“Let's just watch it. I'll put it in” decided Niall and jumped up to the DVD player.</p><p>“As you wish, you red Spanish devil” laughed Zayn and lay on his stomach with his face towards the TV.</p><p>“Louis, let's get some drinks” glanced Niall over at Louis, which he luckily understood.</p><p>Together they went down into the kitchen. Louis really did get glasses and drinks first, but Niall just looked at him.</p><p>“Do I have something on my face?” asked Louis bewildered.</p><p>“What's that with you and Harry?” came Niall straight to the point.</p><p>“I don't know what you mean” knitted Louis his eyebrows together.</p><p>“You two are suddenly so close with each other and all that” stated Niall the obvious.</p><p>“We get along pretty well. That's exactly what you wanted, Nialler” Louis didn't understand the point.</p><p>“Yes, but I … Louis, we both know it was different a few days ago. How can you be like this that fast?” stammered Niall helplessly.</p><p>“As far as I remember you two were laughing right after five minutes as if you were old friends. So ...” trailed Louis off.</p><p>“I'm not you. I don't want you to get hurt. Is it really good for you? To be so close to him?” revealed Niall his real concern.</p><p>“So, that's the point,” said Louis as he understood.</p><p>“Of course. Louis, you had feelings for him that you didn't want when he was still an asshole. Don't you think they'll come back and stronger this time, now that he's changing and you get along so well?” objected Niall worriedly.</p><p>“I don't think so. These were just confused and desperate hormones, that's all. Harry is just really nice. I don't want to destroy it just because I'm overcautious. I don't have a crush on him. And even if, I would not change anything. He is and always will be straight. Both my heart and mind know that, so don't worry” clarified Louis determined.</p><p>Niall studied him briefly and realized that Louis was telling the truth. “If you're sure”.</p><p>“I am” he assured him.</p><p>“Good, then I'm really glad that you two get along so well. Was about time” grinned Niall and went back upstairs with Louis and the drinks.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>...</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>At the same time, Zayn took Harry aside and wanted to talk to him. Instead of sitting in silence until the other two came back, Zayn turned slightly to Harry, who played nervously with his pants. Zayn knew that Harry knew how suspicious Zayn was towards him.</p><p>“Okay, to make one thing clear: I don't hate you, Harry. I probably never have and I never will, but I don't trust you yet. Sure, all that crap is in the past, but it happened. The trust is gone, but that doesn't mean it can't change. I guess Niall already trusts you even if he doesn't even know it. Liam is a mystery right now, as you know. No idea what he is up to at the moment ... Even though I shouldn't tell you that, but trust is a difficult topic for Louis, so don't expect too much. I see how well you get along, but don't confuse it with trust. It will take time, a lot of time. I'll protect Louis like a hawk. Don't hurt him or I'll personally throw you off the highest bridge” told Zayn him without a single breath. Harry looked at him speechless. Zayn didn't talk that much normally.</p><p>“I assure you, I'm not going to hurt anyone ever again, especially not on purpose, especially not Louis. I don't understand how I could be so mean to him even though he's such a great person. I deeply regret what I did, Zayn. I'm not going to hurt him” reassured Harry him.</p><p>“That's good to hear. Then we can now make peace and start afresh. But just so that's clear. I'm always, whatever happens automatically on Louis' side” held Zayn out his hand.</p><p>“I got it. For a fresh start” shook Harry his hand.</p><p>“Perfect. Where are they? Did they fell up the stairs or what?” wondered Zayn amused. It was good to talk to Harry or rather to clarify things to finally let the past rest.</p><p>“Zayn, can I ask you something?” asked Harry uncertainly.</p><p>“You just did but ask away” grinned Zayn and returned to his previous position.</p><p>“Is there more than friendship between you and Louis? And just to make that clear, I don't have a problem with it. I totally support that. I don't know why it was different” Harry wanted to know.</p><p>Zayn turned his head to Harry perplexed. On the one hand, he was surprised to hear that Harry had seemingly dropped his homophobia and on the other hand, shocked him with the actual question. Not just because it was so stupid, but because he sounded almost pleading and desperate as if he wanted Zayn to say no.</p><p>“Well, first of all, I'm surprised to hear that, but of course it makes it all easier. And the question, no, we're just best friends. Of course, we often joke about it, but that's our way of handling things and it's funny. Especially when somebody believes this. Clearly, I can't deny that Louis is very good-looking and is a great person, sometimes I almost wish we had feelings for each other. That would make things a lot easier, but unfortunately, that's not the case. Why?” told Zayn him, wandering to Liam in thoughts. How gladly he would just like Louis and really marry him, but his heart wanted something else.</p><p>“I don't know. Sometimes it seems like you are very close to each other and well, if you think it would be practical why not then?!” stammered Harry weirdly.</p><p>“Because you can't control emotions. I can't choose who's going to conquer my heart. Just because we're both gay, doesn't mean we have to be together, but that's the part of the feelings that might be still hard and new for you. You don't have to understand it. You might be better off without it anyway” replied Zayn and blurted the last bit out unintentionally. Zayn had noticed how Harry at the word gay no longer flinched in disgust or twisted his face. That was an advance. Well, there was a reaction, but he was working on it. That was the most important thing.</p><p>“Why do you think that?” hooked Harry confused.</p><p>“Well, then nobody can break your heart” answered Zayn sadly.</p><p>Just then, Niall and Louis came back. “Who breaks the heart of whom?” laughed Niall brightly.</p><p>“You would have broken mine if you didn't finally come back” joked Zayn and pushed Niall on the bed.</p><p>It felt good to not have tension between them and just have fun. Zayn really liked that even if he never thought Harry and he could ever be friends again. How wrong he was.</p><p>Harry, just like Louis, leaned against the headboard close to him while Niall lay down next to Zayn. He hit play and the movie started. During the movie, Zayn and Niall had a playful discussion on who is hotter while Louis just admired that coach in his fight scenes. Harry probably had a thing for the blonde girl but always tried to distract Louis when his favourite was on the screen.</p><p>At one point near the end, Zayn looked back at Louis and Harry and saw how Harry was pressed into Louis' side with his eyes glued to the TV. Louis didn't seem to mind. He stroked his hand lightly over Harry's back up and down while still watching the movie. Zayn nudged Niall and pointed to them, causing Niall to smile happily. It seemed like they both did it without realising it, which made it really cute even for Zayn's liking. He just hoped this wouldn't end badly with a broken heart again.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>---&gt;</p><p> </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>The next morning Niall and Louis had to throw Zayn out of bed so that he woke up, a bit. Harry stood sleepily beside them and watched the happening since he didn't know yet how he should act normally with the boys in the everyday life. After getting dressed, they went to the kitchen and had breakfast with Louis' mother and sisters.</p><p>Jasmine and the girls were used to having the boys with them in the mornings, as they were very common. When they weren't at Louis', they were at Liam's, and rarely at Zayn's, whose mother liked to rest in the evening. They talked about this and that until it was time for Sophia and Emily to go.</p><p>“How I hate Mondays” grumbled Zayn sleepily.</p><p>“You hate every morning no matter what day” laughed Louis cheekily.</p><p>“Not if the morning would start later” snorted Zayn.</p><p>“That makes no sense whatsoever” chuckled Niall cheery.</p><p>Zayn crossed his arms and looked out of the window, offended, but his mischievous anger vanished instantly as he spotted the grey clouds in the sky. “Guys, look outside”.</p><p>Somewhat confused, they came over to him and looked outside. At that moment it started to rain or rather to pour like from buckets. How should they get to school like this?</p><p>“What do we do now?” asked Niall in panic.</p><p>“No idea, but we can't go out there” replied Zayn scared.</p><p>“And just today my mother is here longer in the morning” sighed Louis in despair.</p><p>“We think of something, Lou” tried Harry to comfort Louis.</p><p>“And what?” asked Louis helplessly.</p><p>“I don't know but Hope knew this would happen. Remember how she voiced the thought of rain a few days ago? There has to be a way” remembered Harry darkly.</p><p>“Don't you have to go?” came Jasmine’s voice from behind them.</p><p>“Oh yeah, of course, we um …” stuttered Niall helplessly.</p><p>“We just wanted to leave but Niall and Louis aren't feeling so well. They are way too warm. That can't be healthy” lied Harry, hiding his hand behind his arm.</p><p>Before Louis could ask what he was up to, he felt a tormenting heat rise inside of him and felt his head glow. He looked at Niall, who was slightly red in the face and also looked overhasty. Then Louis realized what Harry was trying to do. That wasn't so stupid.</p><p>“Let me see” demanded Jasmine, putting her hand against Louis' forehead.</p><p>Worried, she grimaced and then put her hand on Niall's forehead. When his mother turned away briefly, Zayn reached out his hand, eyes narrowing, and the next moment Harry started to shake violently. Hopefully, their powers would stay in control as long as needed.</p><p>“Guys, you don't look healthy, neither of you. Harry, you're terribly cold. And Zayn, your cough doesn't sound right. Is anyone home with you?” Jasmine wanted to know what all three shook their heads no, which wasn't a lie.</p><p>“Then you stay here. Go to bed upstairs. I'll call you in sick today and check on you” she told them.</p><p>“But Mum, that's really not necessary. We'll probably just sleep anyway” whined Louis.</p><p>“Forget it, Louis. I can't leave you alone. Somebody has to check if it gets worse. I don't know what virus you've caught there”.</p><p>With these words, the boys went up to Louis' room and fell onto the bed. The rain was getting more and more outside and their fear continued to increase. They weren't allowed to overdo it, otherwise, Jasmine would take them to the hospital, after all, she was a nurse, but they weren't allowed to be fully recovered. What were they getting themselves into?</p><p>After about ten minutes, Jasmine came into their room and brought them a cup of tea. Then she measured fever with Niall and Louis and handed Harry another blanket. She had brought Zayn throat painkillers and cough syrup.</p><p>“I'm in my room if you need me. Try to sleep. Maybe it'll go away as fast as it came” said Jasmine as she walked out of the room, and Louis saw how odd she was in the situation. After all, they were still doing great at breakfast and now they looked like they were going to die soon.</p><p>“What do we do now?” asked Harry thoughtfully.</p><p>“Just what she said, sleeping,” said Zayn tiredly.</p><p>“You know we're not really sick?” looked Niall at him crookedly.</p><p>“Feels like it” muttered Zayn.</p><p>“He's right” agreed Harry wearily.</p><p>“That's because of the use of our powers. We just need to get our normal body temperature back” reminded Niall the two boys.</p><p>“But not now. If we recover too quickly, my mother will notice that. She's a nurse, already forgotten? Playing her something isn't that easy, believe me. I've already tried” reminded Louis them.</p><p>“Then maybe we should just sleep” suggested Niall logically.</p><p>“That's already taken over by Zayn anyway” grinned Louis, shaking his head. Niall and Harry laughed softly and then lay down too, and after a short while they fell asleep.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Louis was torn from his dream by a cell phone ringing, which was a salvation because in his dream he had met his Ex again. A horrible idea. He heard a moan and rumble beside him and then saw Zayn fumbling for his cell phone.</p><p>“Yes?” he mumbled sleepily. “Aye, God Liam, can you be quieter? My head is about to explode”.</p><p>Niall and Harry were awake now, trying to find out what Liam was saying. Harry, who was sitting behind Louis, had his head on Louis' shoulder while his eyes kept dropping. Louis tried to suppress the shudder that tried to escape him. Harry shouldn't notice such a reaction and Louis didn't want to have such a reaction. What was happening to him?</p><p>“No, you don't need to. We're fine. We only had a tiny problem this morning with the rain and had to improvise and now we're lying in bed with tea” explained Zayn to Liam and winced as Liam's voice seemed to grow louder.</p><p>Louis decided to look for his cell phone. He lay Harry back on the bed and leaned over him to get to his phone. This position wasn't unpleasant at all. Nope, not in the slightest.</p><p>“Nice view” he heard Harry comment underneath him.</p><p>“What?” frowned Louis, but then realized that his t-shirt had slipped up and his stomach was bared as he hovered directly over Harry.</p><p>Embarrassed, Louis sat down next to Harry with his phone and pulled his shirt down. He shouldn't be embarrassed as they were friends now, but Louis couldn't help his natural reaction. Harry had that effect on him. To distract himself, he looked at his phone and a message popped up.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>From Vilu:</b>
</p><p>“<em>Louis, where are you? Are you alright? Why aren't you all four here? What happened? Talk to me”.</em></p><p> </p><p>Even if it was just a message, Louis could hear Violetta's sceptical under-tone in his head. It wasn't the first time she had noticed something. How much he would like to tell her the truth, but that wasn't just his secret, so he wouldn't do that.</p><p>“Is Violetta worried?” asked Harry next to him.</p><p>“Yeah, I just text her we're sick, even if that doesn't sound believable that we're all sick at the same time” replied Louis and typed in his answer.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>To Vilu:</b>
</p><p>“<em>Sorry, we're at mine and we're in bed, we probably caught something. My Mum is taking care of us, very corrosive, probably be back tomorrow … &lt;3 :* X”.</em></p><p> </p><p>“Even with kisses and hearts” chuckled Harry mischievously.</p><p>“She's my best friend, so why not?!” shrugged Louis.</p><p>“Guys, Liam is coming over after school. He said he wants to help us out of this situation” told Zayn them as he hung up.</p><p>“And how?” asked Harry curiously.</p><p>“I don't know that either”.</p><p>“Great, but at least he cares now” sighed Niall. Nobody commented on that, but everybody thought the same. Niall was right.</p><p>After another hour, more health checks from Jasmine and more tea, there was a bell ringing downstairs, which had to be Liam. The boys sat up in bed and barely a second later the door was opened.</p><p>“Look who's here” announced Jasmine a visitor.</p><p>“Hi, how are you?” asked Liam in greeting.</p><p>“A little bit better, but I still feel miserable” described Zayn his situation.</p><p>“First he sleeps too little. Then too much” joked Niall lightly.</p><p>“What are you doing here, Liam?” asked Zayn and tried to sound surprised.</p><p>“I just wanted to see how you're doing” responded Liam casually.</p><p>“I wonder where that came from” knitted Jasmine her eyebrows together.</p><p>“That just seems to be going around. At school, they call it berry cold. Three students were sent home today” told Liam her believably.</p><p>“Really? That doesn't sound good. I've never heard of it” wondered Jasmine.</p><p>“We only call it that. Came from the weird berries” tried Liam to sound believable.</p><p>“Oh, we had foreign berries yesterday in class” came Louis to the rescue for Liam.</p><p>“Yeah right. And you even brought some back to lunch for the rest of us” supported Niall the lie.</p><p>“That explains it then,” said Liam gratefully.</p><p>“That was all very sudden. And now you're feeling better?” checked Jasmine worriedly.</p><p>“Yes, a bit, Jasmine. But I think that will take a while until it is completely gone” nodded Zayn his head.</p><p>“Vilu also suddenly broke down in the middle of class and ... “.</p><p>“Wait, Violetta is sick too? Were you not together yesterday?” interrupted Jasmine Liam.</p><p>“Um, yes, we were” stammered Louis overwhelmed.</p><p>“She was sent straight home” winked Liam at Louis.</p><p>“Hopefully she is getting better soon. Rest yourselves further. Liam, are you making sure they really drink their tea?” turned Jasmine back to Liam, stepping out of the room.</p><p>“Yes, of course” he assured her.</p><p>“That was unbelievable. Even I almost believed you” said Niall as Jasmine had disappeared downstairs.</p><p>“People believe me. What have you done this time?” sighed Liam almost disappointed.</p><p>“We just did what was necessary” crossed Zayn his arms over his chest.</p><p>“But you really don't look good” commented Liam, completely ignoring Zayn’s comment.</p><p>“Wow, thanks, Liam” snorted Louis sarcastically.</p><p>“You know what I mean” rolled Liam his eyes.</p><p>“Gradually, we should probably let the disease disappear and slowly get well” suggested Niall motivated.</p><p>“Good idea. Harry, heal yourself. Zayn, cool us down” agreed Louis with Niall.</p><p>“Why do I have to do this myself?” complained Harry whiningly.</p><p>“Because Zayn has chilled you. Now you have to get hot again” retorted Louis without thinking about his choice of words.</p><p>“I'm always hot” winked Harry at him.</p><p>“Oh, of course, Harold. Whatever lets you sleep at night” mocked Louis him.</p><p>“Does that mean you don't find me hot? Shall I be offended now?” hooked Harry indignantly.</p><p>“Um, no and yes absolutely” laughed Louis amusedly at how cute Harry looked when he pouted.</p><p>“Hello, concentration here please” waved Liam his hands in the air.</p><p>“Please Zayn, don't freeze me” implored Niall afraid.</p><p>“I can't promise anything” grinned Zayn and then used his powers to get Niall’s normal temperature back.</p><p>Next, he did the same to Louis. He felt his body cool down and he could breathe normally again. “Thanks, Joey”.</p><p>“No problem, Tommy” winked Zayn at him.</p><p>“So everything is back to normal?” asked Liam for review.</p><p>“Yeah, all right” gave Niall him a thumbs up.</p><p>“With me too, Louis?”</p><p>“All right, Harold?”.</p><p>“Couldn't be better” smiled Harry, resting his head in Louis' lap. No matter how new this was, Louis had already gotten used to it and there was nothing better than the feeling of Harry so close to him.</p><p>“Then you just have to get plausibly healthy. The rain has stopped and according to the weather forecast, it shouldn't rain anymore. God bless Australia for so little rain” told Liam them matter-of-factly.</p><p>“Yeah, imagine we would be in England or Germany or Asia. That would be problematic” laughed Niall amused.</p><p>“Old jokester again” shook Zayn his head in amusement.</p><p>As the others conversed, Louis felt slightly dizzy. He touched his head briefly and then everything was fine again. But he didn't feel that good if he was being honest with himself. Something was wrong, but he tried to ignore it and put it to the aftermath.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. 17.2 Personal Nurse</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>The next few days were very stressful and hectic but also exciting. The boys had slowly become accustomed to the interest of their classmates and tried to deal with it as well as possible. While Niall, Louis and Zayn just wished to go back through school unnoticed, Liam seemed to enjoy every second of it. To their great surprise, even Harry seemed annoyed and he was used to so much attention. Maybe it was the wrong people or maybe it annoyed him to be watched everywhere.</p><p>To top it all, Sean didn't like the whole thing. He didn't like not being the sole number one anymore. Louis feared Sean would become more violent from now on, but every time he looked over at them and he spotted Harry, Louis could see fear in Sean's face.</p><p>Tuesday, Louis had only the second lesson, nutrition, with Harry. He had Maths with Zayn and Niall while Harry had Maths with Liam and Sean. Whether Liam was nice to Harry meanwhile Louis couldn't assess. Lately, you never knew what Liam would do next.</p><p>During lunch, Liam seemed very absent-minded, constantly looking over at Lauren and her friends and completely ignoring his friends.</p><p>“If you want to go there so badly then just go” grumbled Zayn sourly as he couldn't stand Liam anymore.</p><p>“Come with me. You always have fun with them” was Liam almost demanding them.</p><p>“Oh, and not with us?” challenged Zayn him.</p><p>“Zayn, what's your problem?” asked Liam annoyed.</p><p>“You're my problem. If you prefer them over us, you should go” said Zayn flatly.</p><p>“Do you also see it like that?” turned Liam to the other three who sat silently at the table.</p><p>“Liam, we just want you to ...”.</p><p>“I see. No reason to seek an excuse, Niall. You don't begrudge me that and I thought we were friends” interrupted Liam him before Niall could even really say something.</p><p>“What exactly? That they only take advantage of you and aren't interested in you but only in the fame of our band? Then yes, we really don't begrudge you that” was Zayn totally horrified.</p><p>“You don't even know them. They're really nice and always want to have you with them. Don't be so boring and narrow-minded” got Liam angry.</p><p>“Zayn is right. They didn't care about you before the band. Do you really think that changes all of a sudden?” wanted Harry to make him think.</p><p>“Nobody asked you. You also claim you have changed, so why can't they be nice to me? At least, they never offended me, unlike you” countered Liam hatefully.</p><p>“Now let Harry out of this. That's something completely different” intervened Louis now.</p><p>“You out of all people are defending him? I really expected more from you, Louis. Were you honest with him? Does he know everything?” snapped Liam at him. Louis avoided his eyes and stared at his hands. He couldn't believe that Liam had really said that. “I thought so. It seems more hypocritical than you want to admit”.</p><p>“Liam, that's enough. Do you even listen to yourself? Why are you like this?” became Niall very angry now.</p><p>“If you can't handle the truth, that's your problem. I'll be gone. See you at the rehearsal” said Liam callously, getting up.</p><p>“Zayn?” listened Niall carefully.</p><p>“I'm fine. He can do whatever he wants” said Zayn quietly.</p><p>After that, it was quiet at the table. Everyone was just poking distractedly in their food and didn't know what to say. Louis tried to hide from Harry's eyes. Thanks to Liam, Harry knew now for sure that he was keeping something from him and as Louis knew Harry, he wouldn't let up until he knew what it was. But he couldn't tell him. That was still a difficult topic for Louis. Presumably, that would always stay that way. You don't just forget something like that. It was hard enough to tell Zayn, Liam and Niall and he trusted them blindly. How should that ever work for Harry?</p><p>“What on earth happened to Aidan?” asked Niall in surprise and Louis looked confused into the direction of Sean's table. There sat Aidan with a fading black eye still visibly present on his face. That looked very painful.</p><p>“Since it has already faded that would have happened a few days ago” puzzled Zayn on closer inspection.</p><p>Harry beside him suddenly became restless and looked everywhere except to them. “Harry, what's going on?” asked Louis worriedly.</p><p>“Nothing. All good” he said way too fast.</p><p>“Do you know what happened?” raised Niall an eyebrow at him.</p><p>“Well, it could be that my fist slipped when I pulled him away from Louis on Friday” admitted Harry stammering and visibly nervous.</p><p>“What?!” exclaimed Niall and Zayn.</p><p>“You did that?” Louis couldn't believe it.</p><p>“I know that's not the way to handle it, but I just snapped. I'm sorry, violence is not a solution. Please, don't be angry” pleaded Harry sheepishly.</p><p>“There's no need to apologize. Thanks, Haz. I'm speechless” said Louis calmly, lying his hand on Harry's shoulder, smiling at him.</p><p>“You aren't mad?” wondered Harry stunned.</p><p>“Why should I? You fought for me even though we weren't really friends. Harry, you opposed your former friend ... for me. How could I be mad?” smiled Louis at him.</p><p>“So, you are not angry?” asked Harry again, perplexed.</p><p>“No, I'm stunned, overwhelmed. Nobody has done that for me” assured Louis him.</p><p>“I would if I was stronger” clarified Zayn like a child.</p><p>“I know, Joey,” said Louis amused.</p><p>After that, they had to go to class. Niall, Zayn and Louis to Biology and Harry to Mandarin. Louis had learned that Harry had only taken the course because his dad wanted it. It would be good for his business future or something. Louis didn't really want to meet him any time soon or ever actually.</p><p>Later, the boys had their first rehearsal in Phil's new rehearsal room. There were instruments and enough room to jump around. Saturday night they should perform with four songs. They decided on <em>Rock Me</em>, <em>Simple Moments</em>, <em>Just Words</em> and <em>Way Back Home</em>. No one had written any new songs yet, but it was only a few days ago. Despite Liam's strange behaviour, the rehearsal went well and they made good progress with one or two jokes in between.</p><p>The next day, they managed to avoid the water quite well in chemistry, because they had become real professionals. The only sad thing was that Liam didn't want to work with Zayn, so Harry worked with Zayn, who actually had Nikki as his new partner, who then worked with a different girl for that day, one of Lauren's friends. Violetta and Victoria just looked at the boys questioningly, but they just shrugged helplessly. What a mess.</p><p>During English, they almost fell asleep, even Liam, who looked unusually tired. He didn't sit with them while eating again, but this time their mood was still good. Liam would come to his senses. But Louis could see clearly how much Zayn suffered. Unfortunately, Louis knew the feeling only too well.</p><p>Music was no longer the same without Mrs. Stewart, but the new teacher was fine. Luckily, you couldn't influence him and he really only went for skill. At the rehearsal, they decided how the performance should be and rehearsed until late in the evening. Liam had asked them to let the girls watch, but they rejected that unanimously. Very much to Liam's misfortune. When Louis lay in bed in the evening, he realized that he was dizzy lying down, but he pushed it to the strain of the last days.</p><p>On Thursday morning, Louis didn't feel good at all but pushed the feeling aside. As usual, he went to school; got bored in chemistry; tried not to fall asleep in Biology; ignored Sean's insults at lunch and enjoyed every second of drama. Harry, Violetta and Louis were a good team and the teacher was very happy with the development.</p><p>When Louis arrived home he was greeted by his mother, who was free today. “Hello Darling, how was school?”.</p><p>“Quite dull, but that's the way it should be” replied Louis exhausted.</p><p>“Are you hungry?”.</p><p>“No, not really. I just wanted to rest for a while before training starts” declined Louis wearily.</p><p>“Do you have a rehearsal today?” asked Jasmine with interest.</p><p>“No, not until tomorrow evening” shook Louis his head, feeling his head spin at that again.</p><p>“We will be there by the way and support you on Saturday” she informed him proudly.</p><p>“For real?” Louis couldn't believe it. His family would come to support him. He was really lucky with his family.</p><p>“Yeah, we're really excited”</p><p>Just when he wanted to go over to his mother, everything began to turn around him and he was black in front of his eyes.</p><p>“Louis?” he heard his mother ask before he lost his balance and overturned.</p><p>Everything went black and he lost consciousness for a few seconds. When he opened his eyes again he looked into the worried face of his mother. “Louis, can you hear me?” she asked concerned and Louis just nodded. “We need to get you up to your bed. You need to rest”.</p><p>With difficulty, he picked himself up with her help and stumbled up the stairs to his room. He went to bed and his mother sat down next to him. “Has that happened before?”.</p><p>“Not directly, but I'm constantly dizzy in the last few days” confessed Louis.</p><p>“I thought so. That's probably the aftermath of your head injury, but that will soon stop if you rest. You're not going to training today. I'm going to report you sick and no argument, young man” she let him know and Louis didn't even try to contradict her.</p><p>“And tomorrow you're not going to school or training either. Sam can do it alone for two days. Now rest” she kissed his forehead and left the room.</p><p>He sighed heavily but then snuggled into his blanket. Louis closed his eyes and fell asleep after a few seconds. When he woke up in the evening he saw a new message on his phone. Sleepily, he took his phone and opened it.But he was too tired and absent-minded to write an answer. So, he just dropped his phone and went back to sleep with a dizzy mind and horrible nightmares that didn't seem to ever stop haunting him.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>From Haz (: :</b>
</p><p>“<em>Louis, is everything alright?”.</em></p><p> </p><p>The next morning, Louis awoke dizzy with tear stains on his face. He seemed to have cried while sleeping. No wonder with his dreams. Slowly, he went into the bathroom and made himself fresh, then put on a pair of sweatpants and a loose t-shirt and went back to bed. After a short time, his stomach grumbled just as it rang at the door. Louis decided to wait a moment and then go down to get something to eat. He waited about five minutes but when he wanted to get up he heard someone coming towards his room. The door opened and Harry appeared with a tray in his hand with tea and pancakes.</p><p>“Good morning, Sunshine” he winked at him.</p><p>“Harry, what are you doing here?” blinked Louis in confusion.</p><p>“I'm bringing you your breakfast, as you see” grinned Harry, closing the door behind him and sat down on the bed.</p><p>“I didn't mean that” niggled Louis childishly.</p><p>“I know. We were worried. Sam wrote to Zayn yesterday that you didn't come to training and that never happened before. He wanted to know how you're doing, but we didn't know anything. So I texted you, but I didn't get an answer, so I just decided to come over and see how you're doing” explained Harry with concern in his eyes behind the blinding laughter.</p><p>“Wait, Sam asked Zayn how I’m doing? Since when does he have his number?” wondered Louis confused.</p><p>“No idea, but that doesn't matter. You're important now. What happened?” asked Harry again.</p><p>“Um, it's possible that I fainted yesterday” stammered Louis, blushing with so much concern from Harry.</p><p>“Oh God, are you feeling better? Can I do something?” questioned Harry way too fast.</p><p>“All right, I'm fine. My mother just won't let me out of the house today. Maybe it's better that way” soothed Louis him.</p><p>“Jasmine's just off to work and left me in charge,” told Harry him proudly.</p><p>“She did what?” Louis couldn't believe it.</p><p>“That was really weird. Your sister let me in and I went straight into the kitchen where your mother was standing with her back to me. She knew immediately that it was me like she saw it coming and told me directly where you are, handing me your breakfast. She wasn't even outraged that I'm not in school but thanked me for looking after you and then left” informed Harry him still in amazement.</p><p>“Yeah, that sounds like her even if that's really weird. She seems to trust you” mused Louis. When he spoke of trust he could see something flash in Harry's eyes for a brief moment and Louis knew immediately what that was.</p><p>But instead of responding, Harry turned to the breakfast. “You are certainly hungry”.</p><p>“I am starving” groaned Louis and finally began to eat.</p><p>“Don't you have to go?” wondered Louis after a while when Harry was still sitting there.</p><p>“Where to?” asked Harry caught off guard.</p><p>“To school” clarified Louis muddled.</p><p>“I'll stay with you today and keep you company until you feel better” announced Harry determined.</p><p>“I um ... I ... thank you” stuttered Louis embarrassed and then continued eating.</p><p>After breakfast, Harry brought the dishes down, then came back upstairs and they just listened to music for a while and lay on the bed. It wasn't unpleasant that they hardly talked. It was good to know that Harry and he could spend so much time together even in silence.</p><p>“Can you give me my phone? It should be on the floor” asked Louis Harry after a while.</p><p>Harry leaned over, his shirt sliding up and Louis did NOT stare at Harry’s bare skin, picking up the phone and handed it to Louis. As expected, he had several messages from his worried friends.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <b>From Joey:</b>
  </em>
</p><p>“<em>Tommy, where are you? Sam said you're sick”.</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <b>From Zaddy @Magical Freaks:</b>
  </em>
</p><p>“<em>You're not at school, are you alright?”.</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <b>From Nialler @Magical Freaks:</b>
  </em>
</p><p>“<em>Harry is not here either, what happened, is he with you?”.</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <b>From Zaddy:</b>
  </em>
</p><p>“<em>Tommy, say something that I know you're alive”.</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <b>From Nialler:</b>
  </em>
</p><p>“<em>Zayn, don't be so dramatic, he is alive. Harry is with him”.</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <b>From Zaddy:</b>
  </em>
</p><p>“<em>And that should calm me?”.</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <b>From Nialler:</b>
  </em>
</p><p>“<em>You can talk to me, I'm standing right next to you, you idiot”.</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <b>From Vilu to Louis:</b>
  </em>
</p><p>“<em>Louis, is everything okay with you, you're not at school, are you sick? Harry isn't here either and Zayn and Niall don't know anything. I'm worried”.</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <b>From Nikki to Louis:</b>
</p><p>“<em>Please answer V, she is almost going crazy because she doesn't know what's going on. Oh and Zayn too please, he's already crazy, you don't want to see that”.</em></p><p> </p><p>“Wow, I'm not there one day and the world is ending. Can you not live without me?” asked Louis in surprise about so much concern for him after such a short time.</p><p>“Not really, Lou. You are the heart and soul of our group. We are nothing without you” confessed Harry honestly.</p><p>Completely stunned and surprised, Louis stared at him. That couldn't be serious. “You're exaggerating. I'm not that special. Everyone's interchangeable, especially me”.</p><p>“No one can replace you, Lou” whispered Harry, but Louis heard it and blushed.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>From Tommo @Magical Freaks:</b>
</p><p>“<em>I'm good. Slept the whole day yesterday. No need to freak out. I'm alive. Just lying in bed with Harry and drinking tea. Feeling dizzy but it's okay”.</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <b>From Louis to Vilu:</b>
</p><p>“<em>Don't worry Vilu. I'm good. Just a little dizzy. Didn't saw your text cause I was sleeping”.</em></p><p> </p><p><b>From Zaddy @Magical Freaks</b>:</p><p>“<em>Thank God you're alive. Do you need something?”.</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <b>From Nialler:</b>
</p><p>“<em>In Bed with Harry? When did that happen (;?”.</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <b>From Tommo:</b>
</p><p>“<em>Shut up Nialler, that's not what I meant at all. Zayn, I'm okay. Harry is here. He takes care of me ...”.</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <b>From Zaddy:</b>
  </em>
</p><p>“<em>And you let him?”.</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <b>From Tommo:</b>
  </em>
</p><p>“<em>No choice here”.</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <b>From Nialler:</b>
</p><p>“<em>You're so married :D“.</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <b>From Tommo:</b>
</p><p>“<em>Joey, slap Niall for me. I'm going back to bed”.</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <b>From Nialler:</b>
</p><p>“<em>NOOOOOO”.</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <b>From Zaddy:</b>
</p><p>“<em>With pleasure ;)”.</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <b>From Vilu to Louis:</b>
</p><p>“<em>Good to hear. Is Harry with you or is he also sick?”.</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <b>From Louis:</b>
</p><p>“<em>He's with me”.</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <b>From Vilu:</b>
</p><p>“<em>Should I ask?”.</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <b>From Louis:</b>
</p><p>“<em>No, please no. Niall said enough”.</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <b>From Vilu:</b>
</p><p>“<em>Okay, see you tomorrow?”.</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <b>From Louis:</b>
</p><p>“<em>Yeah, Love u :*”.</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <b>From Vilu:</b>
</p><p>“<em>Love u too &lt;3”.</em></p><p> </p><p>Louis put his phone aside and sighed. So much stress for nothing. He was simply sick for a day. No big deal. Harry sat next to him and also looked at his phone and frowned. That made Louis feel kinda weird.</p><p>“Everything okay?” asked Louis concerned.</p><p>“Yeah, all right. It's just Niall. Sometimes he's really weird” answered Harry distractedly.</p><p>“You can say that aloud” grinned Louis, but Harry didn't respond. “Are you really alright?”.</p><p>“Sure, Niall just said that Zayn hit him and um … that we're married … How does he get that? Crazy guy” shook Harry his head.</p><p>“That's Niall for you” waved Louis the matter off. Niall really shouldn't write that to Harry. He couldn't handle that, even if it was just fun.</p><p>“Really stupid that I can't go to training” sighed Louis disappointedly.</p><p>“That wouldn't be a good idea or do you want that to happen again?” put Harry his phone aside.</p><p>“No, but it's weird not to see my kids, not yesterday and not today. They're missing me and I'm missing them” said Louis eagerly.</p><p>“You really like them, right?” smiled Harry down at him.</p><p>“Yeah. I don't know. I just have a certain connection to kids” whispered Louis fondly.</p><p>“I noticed that. Ruth really loves you” agreed Harry relaxed.</p><p>“I like her too, but I like all my children. Her the most though” admitted Louis cheekily.</p><p>“And what about Thomas, your little admirer?” smirked Harry cheekily.</p><p>“Hey, we handled that. He moved on thanks to Niall, I think. Brave little guy” exclaimed Louis but then his voice got softer in the end.</p><p>“Why brave?” put Harry his head to one side.</p><p>“Well, he's only twelve, but he just accepts it. That's not normal” stammered Louis a bit nervous.</p><p>“What exactly?” Harry didn't understand.</p><p>“Your first crush being a boy and not a girl. It's just admirable to admit that, especially for this age” explained Louis a little more closely.</p><p>“Oh okay. But what's so special about it? Sorry, I just don't know anything about this” checked Harry sheepishly.</p><p>“You don't have to. It's like that: You're growing up normally and learn that to be straight is the norm, even if your parents support LGBT. So, when you realize that you're different that's more of a shock and you hope that you aren't. Not everyone realizes that so early, some live their entire lives with the faith of being fully straight, sometimes you just don't meet the one person that makes you notice. That's pretty complicated, this process of discovery, all the way to your own acceptance. That would be easier if it was just normal for everyone and you didn't have to justify yourself” tried Louis to explain to Harry but it was hard to put it into the right words.</p><p>“That sounds pretty frustrating, but then it's really admirable how Thomas does that. Was that different with you?” Harry wanted to know understandingly.</p><p>“Um well, I've noticed that somehow all of the boys in school have been checking out girls, except for me. But I didn't really understand that until I met my first crush with 15. I um ... yeah, that just happens sometimes” remembered Louis and almost started to stutter and just really wanted to replace this memory.</p><p>“So, if you think you like women your whole life, that doesn't mean you're straight?” tried Harry to understand that new bit of information.</p><p>“You could say that. You can hide behind it or just don't notice it, or the right person wasn't there. There is also bi and stuff like that, like with Liam. You can't generalize that. At the same time, you can of course be fully straight, too. I mean, yeah” wrestled Louis for words.</p><p>“Ah okay. I think I understand what you mean” knitted Harry his eyebrows thoughtfully together. Louis was surprised by this sudden interest and it was weird to talk to Harry about it but at the same time, it felt good. Like Harry was learning something and finally understood.</p><p>Then they let the topic rest and watched another movie. Later, his mother came back and made sure that Louis was feeling better. Sam texted him that everything went smoothly and Louis just enjoyed the shared time with Harry.</p><p>In the evening they were lying on the bed, Harry with his head on Louis' chest and Louis had his arm around Harry. His heart was beating faster and he tried not to misinterpret this couple's position. He couldn't afford that his feelings for Harry came back. They were just starting a friendship. Louis didn't want to destroy that directly because he always fell in love with the wrong ones. If he allowed it, it would only end in a total disaster.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Saturday morning, Louis hopped a bit sleepily down the stairs to look for Harry. When he woke up, Harry wasn't lying next to him although he had fallen asleep there. Maybe he was in the kitchen.</p><p>When he reached the bottom, the doorbell rang suddenly and almost startled Louis.</p><p>“I'll open!” exclaimed Louis to no one in particular and walked to the door with a smile on his face because he felt a lot better than yesterday, which was weird, but he didn’t question it.</p><p>This smile faded as soon as he opened the door and was replaced by sheer horror and pure fear. He felt transported into one of his nightmares. In front him stood a person whom he believed and hoped to never see again. He swallowed hard and was petrified. Totally shocked and frozen.</p><p>“Hello, Louis”.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. 18. Shadow Of The Past *</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Trigger Warning!!!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>With a pale face and a racing heart, Louis was staring at the person at his front door. His whole body had turned to shock and his throat was dry.</p><p>“Kyle?” breathed Louis out breathlessly.</p><p>“Well, you still know my name. Remember it so you can scream it later” he smirked evilly.</p><p>Louis wanted to slam the door in his face and hide in the basement forever, but he was frozen. His hand was gripping the doorknob tightly. Kyle reared up in front of him and pushed him roughly back into the house, causing Louis painfully to let go of the door, slamming against the partition wall with his back. Loudly, Kyle closed the door behind them. Now Kyle was right in front of him, looking down at Louis with those evil eyes, that had haunted him for so long in his sleep. He was so much taller than Louis and incredibly intimidating.</p><p>“You're surely wondering why I'm here, you cunt” hissed Kyle. Louis didn't trust his voice. He was helpless and totally lost.</p><p>“I've seen your little videos on Triple Tube together with this ridiculous band. People seem to like you for some reason, maybe just because you're new. That will subside. But when I saw you there, I remembered we still have an open issue that we should settle, don't you think? “came Kyle even closer to him. His voice was cold and grassy, sending a shiver down Louis' back. “We have to finish something and this time without any interruptions. So, be glad that I'm spending so much time on you, little pussy. You don't deserve that much attention. You're worthless but for one day you could be good for something, even if only for a minute”.</p><p>In Louis, the panic rose. He felt his whole body tremble and his heart was beating faster than ever. He knew exactly what Kyle wanted to do next and Louis couldn't help it. His body no longer obeyed him. It was as if he had fallen into one of his nightmares, only that this time it was reality and not an awakening as salvation.</p><p>Kyle pushed him against the wall and pressed his whole body against him. Louis didn't dare to look at him. His hand moved from Louis' side down to his hip until he grabbed his butt and groped him hard, making Louis squeal.</p><p>“How cute. You're really a little pussy, you little worthless piece of shit” laughed Kyle amused by Louis' reaction.</p><p>Louis tried to ignore the words but in his head, he heard the same words as someone else said them. Harry. He had said it and now Kyle again. Louis felt more worthless than ever before. Dirty and ashamed. He felt tears forming in his eyes and tried to hold them back, which was hard because Kyle was still gripping his ass. He was trapped in his own rigidity and this time there was no escape.</p><p>“What's going on here?” a voice came from their right out of the hallway.</p><p>Louis knew that voice. He had been looking for him. Apparently, he hadn't disappeared. Immediately, Kyle released Louis' arse, took a step back and looked at Harry.</p><p>“We just talked and clarified some open issues. How rude of me, I'm Kyle” pretended Kyle politely. Harry just looked at him crookedly.</p><p>“And you know this little bitch? Are you a <em>'friend</em>'? Or are you forced to be here? I'm guessing the latter. Looking at you I guess the ladies are lying at your feet. Aren’t you in that pathetic band with this cunt? But what do you want from the ugly faggot alone? Oh, don't tell me you just wanna have some fun, too? Quite my taste. He may not look like a lot, but his ass isn't bad” taunted Kyle Louis in the weirdest way possible and slapped his ass, causing Louis to flinch.</p><p>“I was actually here to have fun on my own, but I would share with you. What do you think of it? We both can do a lot of damage here” suggested Kyle cruelly to Harry to divide Louis against his will. Louis could feel Harry's eyes on him, but he didn't dare to look up. Any new word from Kyle has completely shattered the pathetic remnants of Louis' self-esteem, even though none of his words made sense in a normal mind.</p><p>That would be his one chance to run away. Kyle was distracted, but his legs wouldn't obey him. He was rigid with fear. Fear of Kyle. Fear of what could happen and fear of Harry's answer. An irrational fear spread through him and he could already see in his head how Kyle and Harry joined forces and together they destroyed Louis' life and existence.</p><p>“What's your name, my friend?” asked Kyle curiously now as Harry still didn't say anything.</p><p>“I'm Harry and I'm his boyfriend” introduced Harry himself and made himself big.</p><p>At the word boyfriend, Louis looked up and confusion was written on his face. What? Did he just say that? Louis had expected everything but not that. His psyche was a miserable wreck without a reset button.</p><p>“What? You can't be serious. You're also one of those disgusting fags and then of all the perversions, you chose him? Look at him. You let yourself be kissed by that ugly worthless little dwarf? I'm going to be sick. Does he at least let you in? He is probably a grenade in bed and to fuck him senseless makes you briefly forget the rest that you have to endure. My condolences. But the offer is still open. Once you could share him with me. That'll give you a kick. I'm sure that it must be very dull normally, right you piece of shit?” Kyle still didn't stop.</p><p>“If I were you, I'd think twice about saying something bad about my boyfriend in my presence again! What's wrong with you? If I were you, I'd go and never come back” told Harry him sourly.</p><p>Kyle's eyes widened and he looked disgusted and annoyed from Harry to Louis. “You’ve got yourself a great protector there, did you? Hopefully you revise yourself decently. It must be a blessing to fuck you if he doesn't want to leave you to me”.</p><p>“Get out of here, now!” demanded Harry, glaring maliciously.</p><p>Visibly pissed off and annoyed by Harry's resistance, Kyle sighed loudly. He ran his finger over Louis' cheek again and down his neck and over his chest until he was over his waistband, which gave Louis unpleasant Goosebumps. One last time Kyle hit him hard on the arse and then turned away.</p><p>“That's not over” he whispered menacingly and then Harry grabbed his arm and dragged him to the door. “You're missing out on a unique opportunity,” told Kyle Harry one last time before he slammed the door in his face and locked it.</p><p>When Harry turned around, Louis wasn't there anymore. He went down the step and found Louis sitting huddled on the sofa with his legs pulled to his chest and his head buried in his arms. He could see from his point that Louis was sobbing softly. Carefully, he came closer and sat down next to him. Immediately, Louis stopped crying and froze.</p><p>“Louis?” said Harry quietly, wanting to put his hand on Louis' back, but Louis flinched and slid sideways. He couldn't help it, especially not now, but of course, Harry didn't know that, and Louis knew that as well. He hated himself so much right now.</p><p>“Louis, talk to me. I thought we were over this. Who was that and how do you know him? What was that all about?” tried Harry to understand all this.</p><p>Louis was still paralysed. The events hadn't helped his soul and psyche. “T-Th-a-t w- was K- K- Kyle” stuttered Louis, but then his voice broke.</p><p>“I know, he introduced himself. How do you know him? What did he want? Why did he treat you like that? What did you do?” asked Harry endless questions and Louis didn't have the time to work it all out.</p><p>“Nothing. I ... he ..” stammered Louis but couldn't bring out a whole sentence.</p><p>“Louis, with words that we all understand” was Harry frustrated by now.</p><p>“He's from the US. We were at the same school. He's an idiot. That's all” managed Louis to say four short sentences before reality caught up with him. Kyle was here and he planned to finish it. This time right. His nightmare had come true.</p><p>“That looked like more to me. Come on, Louis. This isn't a movie. Just tell me. No one needs that tension” urged Harry him impatiently.</p><p>That was when Louis remembered why Harry didn't know. He just wouldn't understand. He wasn't ready yet and Louis couldn't tell him. Not now. No way. This impatience and the lack of understanding and the presumption that Louis did anything wrong were enough reasons not to trust him. Louis just wanted to disappear.</p><p>“That's all. Some people are inexplicable as they are” said Louis distantly.</p><p>“Do you mean me? Unbelievable. I'm telling this stranger I'm your boyfriend, risking everything and for what? Now talk to me” ordered Harry stupidly, causing Louis to flinch even more.</p><p>“I didn't mean it like that, and no one asked you to do it. I want to be alone” told Louis him, pulling himself even closer together until he was a small ball in the corner of the sofa.</p><p>“Louis, what ... Well, if you really want that, then I'll go. Have fun with your secrets” spat Harry insulted.</p><p>Louis just whimpered softly and let the tears run down wild. His life seemed so useless and he felt dirty and completely worthless. Every spot where Kyle had touched him was burning like fire and was burning more invisible scars into Louis' heart. The pain was unbearable.</p><p>“Joey” cried Louis quietly and wished he was here with him now to be there for him. He was the only one who could help him now.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>---&gt;</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Zayn was sitting in his room and went through everything important for the performance again. He was pretty nervous and didn't know why. His clothes were already ready and Louis had written to him this morning that he can perform. Everything was perfect.</p><p>“Darling, do you still need something for tonight?” his mother asked as she came in.</p><p>“No, I have everything. I'm a bit nervous, but that'll be fine” replied Zayn casually.</p><p>“I'm so sorry I can't be there, but I'll be there next week” she apologized sadly.</p><p>“This isn't a problem, Mum. Really. The business lunch is important to you. Of course, you have to go there” he assured her that everything's alright.</p><p>“Nevertheless, I feel bad”.</p><p>“You don't have to” he smiled at her.</p><p>“Alright, I'll go now. It takes some time to get there” she said goodbye.</p><p>“See you tomorrow” he called after her.</p><p>Zayn didn't know why, but he suddenly felt the need to pack his clothes for later and make sure he could start right away. He had a bad feeling in his stomach and wondered what that meant. A rush of cold and something that almost felt like loneliness and despair and fear rushed through his body and left him frozen for a moment before he stuffed the last things into his bag.</p><p>When he had just packed everything his phone started ringing. He picked it up and saw Harry's name. He hesitated for a moment but then he answered. “Hi Harry, what's up?”.</p><p>Zayn winced when Harry started to talk and heard the frustration in his voice. What was the problem exactly? “Harry, again please. I can't understand a word”.</p><p>“Louis is driving me crazy. I thought that was over. There was a guy at the door who was literally hovering above Louis when I got in. Louis was leaning against the wall, saying nothing. He said mean things about him and something about an open issue and whether or not I want to join in. Zayn, what does all this mean? Louis doesn't want to talk to me. He just sits huddled on the sofa for no reason. I don't get this drama. He's crying and said your name. Maybe you know how to bring him back to his senses and behave normally again. I'm seriously frustrated” told Harry him at the other end of the line.</p><p>Zayn stood frozen in his room, letting the words sink in on him. Not only was Harry an incomprehensible idiot but Louis had just gone through his worst nightmare and only Harry was there. Nobody who knew what he was going through was with him. A mixture of different emotions was bubbling in Zayn. Anger, hatred, compassion, pity, sorrow, sadness, disgust. Without answering, Zayn grabbed his things, stumbled down the stairs and put on his shoes.</p><p>“Zayn, what's going on? What's that all about?” asked Harry aimlessly.</p><p>“I'm on my way. I'm running over to you. Don't let Louis out of your sight but don't talk to him. Do you understand? I'll be right there” ordered Zayn almost screaming as he ran out the front door.</p><p>“What? Why should I ..” asked Harry Zayn but he ended the call.</p><p>Now wasn't the time for stupid explanations and excuses. His best friend needed him more than ever. At the race, Zayn opened the group chat and quickly typed in a message.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>From Zaddy @Magical Freaks:</b>
</p><p>“<em>S.O.S, HE was with Louis, He's here. Get your weapons ready, we're going on a death train. I'm on my way to Louis. See you at the soundcheck”.</em></p><p> </p><p>Before he could figure out if it was smart to write that into the group chat, he got an answer.</p><p> </p><p><b>From Nialler</b>:</p><p>“<em>WHAAAAAT??? How can that be? I'll kill him. Should I come too? Does Louis need something?”.</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <b>From Zaddy:</b>
</p><p>“<em>A fucking bodyguard, but no. I'll fix it. Just um ... Harry is there”.</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <b>From Nialler:</b>
</p><p>“<em>Oh no, does he know? What did he do?”.</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <b>From Zaddy:</b>
</p><p>“<em>Louis didn't say anything as far as I know. Harry called me annoyed and frustrated, this idiot”.</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <b>From Nialler:</b>
</p><p>“<em>Maybe better. Now it's all about Louis, I'll forge the murder plan”.</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <b>From Zaddy:</b>
</p><p>“<em>Do that and make it painful. See you later”.</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Read by Harry at 11.28.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>With the last few letters, Zayn arrived at Louis' house and abused the bell until Harry finally opened the door. Instead of greeting him, he ran past him into the living room where Louis was still sitting on the couch like a pile of misery. He sat down next to him carefully and didn't move. He knew that now he had to be careful not to make it worse. Apparently, Louis had noticed his presence because only a second later, Louis was in Zayn's arms and began to sob. It was heart-breaking.</p><p>“Shh, everything will be fine. I'm here now” reassured Zayn him and gently stroked over his back.</p><p>The crying became a little less and Louis' breathing calmed down a bit. He still didn't look up. He had buried his face in Zayn's chest. Zayn felt Harry standing behind them, looking at them in confusion.</p><p>“Did you already eat something?” asked Zayn. Louis just shook his head.</p><p>“Harry, could you make something to eat?” turned Zayn his head slightly to him and looked into a questioning face.</p><p>“Why not, I had already started” shrugged Harry and went into the kitchen. That was the perfect distraction.</p><p>In that state, Zayn couldn't let Louis deal with himself. So with one arm, he reached under his legs and with the other, he propped his back up and lifted him up. Louis made no move to fight back. Zayn carried him bridal-style up the stairs into his room, ignoring Harry's puzzled look on the way. An explanation for him they could search later. Now it was time to help Louis. Zayn gently lay him down on his bed and then hugged him protectively. He said nothing for a while but gave Louis the time he needed.</p><p>“Why, Zayn? Why me, why now, why again? How did he find me? I deserve it” wailed Louis in Zayn's shirt.</p><p>“Don't say that. You don't deserve it, nobody does. You can't help it” retorted Zayn solemnly.</p><p>“It's my destiny. It'll happen until there's no one else in it to save me” sniffled Louis wryly.</p><p>“That's not true, do you hear me? This guy's a sick bastard. He belongs behind bars” huffed Zayn sourly. His lust for murder grew more and more.</p><p>“I'm so ashamed. I didn't do anything. I just stood there stunned and frozen. If Harry hadn't been there ...” trailed Louis off.</p><p>“Louis, it's not your fault. You didn't deserve this. This time I'll make him pay” growled Zayn darkly.</p><p>“No, Zayn. It's not worth it. We can't do anything. It's just like it is. I have to live with that” sighed Louis sadly.</p><p>“But we have to do something. He can't get away with it. That's terrible” countered Zayn horrified.</p><p>“I wouldn't stand it mentally. I just need you. That's enough” confessed Louis sheepishly.</p><p>“Oh, Tommy” sighed Zayn, hugging him closer.</p><p>At that moment, Harry came in with the late breakfast. When he saw the two of them he frowned but said nothing for which Zayn was very grateful. He put down the food and turned back around. “I'll go then”.</p><p>“No, Harry. You don't need to. It's all right” told Louis Harry to Zayn's astonishment.</p><p>“Sure? It looked different a second ago” wondered Harry unconvinced.</p><p>“Sure. I overreacted. I'm sorry. It's all good, right Zayn?” wiped Louis away his tears and faked a smile.</p><p>“Um, of course” cleared Zayn his throat.</p><p>“Okay. Well, we should go to soundcheck soon. Niall and Liam will be there before us” changed Harry the subject but Zayn didn't listen at all.</p><p>He watched Louis staring at the food as if it was attacking him every second. He didn't really eat, but Harry didn't seem to notice. Zayn nudged Louis and pointed to the food. He nodded slightly and then nipped at the food tentatively. Zayn sighed sadly but that was better than nothing.</p><p>When he looked at Louis, he was terribly worried about him. He was so frightened that he could do something to himself. Once was bad enough, but a second time it would completely destroy the psyche. He was looking for a way to show Louis that he didn't deserve this and it wasn't his fault and that he was always there for him. Zayn had read a lot about the mental effects when Louis had told them back then. Fear of contact, trust issues, self-loathing and self-punishment. Zayn couldn't just watch Louis break more and more. He had to do something. But what?</p><p>After about ten minutes, Louis and Harry started to get ready for the soundcheck. On the way, Zayn didn't leave Louis' side, Harry walked beside him aimlessly. When they entered the Sea Snack and went backstage Niall came running to them and pulled Louis directly into his arms. He didn't flinch but wrapped his arms around Niall as well.</p><p>“Oh, God Louis, how are you? Are you alright?” asked Niall directly.</p><p>“All good, Niall. He's gone” whispered Louis into the back of his neck. Before Niall could speak, Zayn glanced at him and pointed to Harry. Niall understood immediately and was silent.</p><p>Four of them did the soundcheck because Liam just didn't show up. Phil was talking to Niall about the final details as Louis suddenly inhaled sharply and turned pale in the face.</p><p>“Louis, what's up?” asked Zayn worriedly.</p><p>“K- Kyle, he's-s here” stammered Louis in panic.</p><p>Zayn turned around and saw a tall blonde guy enter the café. He looked very arrogant and radiated bad energy. Zayn still didn't know what Kyle looked like until this point. He even heard the name for the first time today.</p><p>“I can't perform. Not when he's here” shuddered Louis hastily.</p><p>“Louis, calm down. Take a deep breath. Look at me. We're still here, too. Nothing can happen to you. Let him suffer” put Zayn his hands on Louis' shoulders and looked deep into his eyes.</p><p>“I can't do that”.</p><p>“What can't you do?” asked Harry but nobody answered him. “Wait, isn't that this guy?”.</p><p>“It's going to be okay” assured Zayn him.</p><p>“What's wrong? Is he here? May I kill him now?” asked Niall as he stared at Louis' pale face.</p><p>“Niall, nobody is killed here” rolled Louis his eyes.</p><p>“Why would you want to kill him?” Harry didn't understand.</p><p>“Louis, let's go backstage” suggested Zayn and Louis immediately went with him, followed by Niall. Harry decided it wasn't worth it and went to a couple of girls waiting for the gig.</p><p>In the rest of the time, Louis recounted every detail of the morning to Zayn and Niall. Every feeling. And they listened and tried to tell him that he wasn't to blame. Both were worried about Louis and feared that the performance could go terribly wrong. Liam still hadn't turned up and Harry was spending his time with the girls. With one he even disappeared for a short time. Zayn asked no further questions. That was his business.</p><p>Five minutes before the gig, Liam ran into the café and quickly got ready. “Sorry, I spent extra hours in the lab, forgetting the time”.</p><p>“You're here now,” said Harry unbothered.</p><p>“Guys, there is a small change. We're singing <em>Here we Are </em>instead of <em>Simple Moments”</em> informed Zayn them.</p><p>“What? Why? It's so sudden!” exclaimed Liam shocked.</p><p>“It's better this way,” said Niall, looking anxiously at Louis, who was standing beside them absently.</p><p>“Did I miss something?” asked Liam clueless.</p><p>“If you looked at your phone from time to time, you would know that” snapped Zayn at him.</p><p>“Whoa Zayn, calm down. No one died, it's all good. Nothing happened” intervened Harry stupidly.</p><p>“Just amazing” muttered Zayn, leaving Harry and Liam standing there. He saw Kyle looking over at them and stood so that he couldn't see Louis.</p><p>“Hey Harry, are you hiding your little sex god from me?” called Kyle over to Harry. Zayn wanted to jump over and just punch Kyle, but he had promised Louis to do nothing illegal.</p><p>“Sex God?” looked Liam at them in confusion.</p><p>“Don't ask” sighed Harry out.</p><p>“Oh wow, Harry, how sensitive of you. You started this lie. Would be nice if you thought about something that doesn't cause Louis any more trouble” snapped Zayn at Harry. He was in a very snappy mood today.</p><p>“What do you mean?” looked Harry at him crookedly.</p><p>“You told this arsehole that you're together. God knows why. If you go out there and ignore Louis or whatever and that ass gets that it was a lie, what could have serious consequences, then I swear, you will not be able to walk or sit for one week straight” threatened Zayn him to piss him off.</p><p>“Shall I play his boyfriend in front of all these people? They ship Larry anyway. I don't need that bullshit” grimaced Harry.</p><p>“Selfish as ever. Why am I even trying?” sighed Zayn and walked over to Louis, who looked deathly pale.</p><p>Zayn hugged him to calm him down and fixed his gaze on Kyle. He had another chicken to pick with him. Should he just enjoy the show, after this, it was over with funny Zayn.</p><p> </p><p>...<br/><br/></p><p> </p><p>During the performance, Louis caught Kyle's gaze every few seconds. With every movement, every note. He tried to focus his attention on Zayn and Niall, who shot Kyle murder glances again and again. They started the show with <em>Rock Me</em> followed by <em>Here we are</em>. Both songs let Louis relax a bit, but only a bit.</p><p>Louis also noticed how Harry sought his closeness and looked at him again and again, but he looked very forced and rather annoyed. Then it occurred to him that Harry had introduced himself as his boyfriend to Kyle and he probably tried to keep this lie alive while Kyle was here. No matter how grateful he was to him, it saddened him how tormented Harry looked as if it was the worst thing in the world. He did it so reluctantly. Louis really thought they would build a good friendship, but then it wouldn't be so hard and bad to be tender or affectionate and show interest or pretend. You'd better believe that Niall or Zayn was his boyfriend.</p><p>During <em>Way Back Home</em> Louis focused only on Zayn, but out of the corner of his eye he saw Violetta, Nikki and Victoria also sitting in the audience. It was good to know that their friends supported them. Max, Patrick, Luke and Brandon as well as Evan, Jim, Sam, Maya and Bailey were there, too. That warmed his heart.</p><p>When Zayn and Louis sang their part, some of the girls began calling <em>Zouis</em>, whereupon Niall started clapping and Zayn and Louis grinned widely. But after that Louis felt Harry even closer to him and realized how he was being stared at. From Harry, but also from Kyle, who eyed the action with angry glancing eyes, because his plan had failed.</p><p>They ended the performance with <em>Just Words</em>, whose text at the time everyone knew, and said goodbye for the evening. Phil came over to them afterwards and raved about how good everything had gone. Louis' attention wandered to his mother in the audience, who was surrounded by his sisters. He hoped she hadn't seen his condition on stage. His soul felt scarred and every spot touched by Kyle felt like his fingerprints were branded as an eternally agonizing reminder of his failure. He had to leave.</p><p>Phil went on stage and announced a new attraction in the café. “You know the guys are going to sing for you every week now, but the fun goes on. Afterwards, there'll always be the opportunity for each of you to come on stage and sing something. I call it the <em>Open Stage Night</em>. So, who wants to be the first? “.</p><p>People clapped and cheered about the new change that seemed to please everyone. Evan stood up, took the guitar and started to play a song. Louis saw his mother beckoning to tell him that they were leaving now because it was too late for the younger pair of twins. He nodded to her and watched as they left the café.</p><p>“Louis, are you alright? Do you want to go home?” asked Zayn sympathetically.</p><p>“I think so. Maybe it would be better” mumbled Louis quietly.</p><p>“Good, I'll come with you,” he told him.</p><p>“Me too. I will not leave you alone again” tagged Niall along with them.</p><p>“Guys, we still have to clean up and then dismantle everything” held Liam them back.</p><p>“Since you were neither at the soundcheck nor build-up you can do it alone” turned Zayn to his best friend.</p><p>“All alone?!” exclaimed Liam in shock.</p><p>“Zayn, that's not fair. That's really a lot” agreed Harry with Liam.</p><p>“I don't need your help” snorted Liam.</p><p>“If you think that so unfair, you can help him. I'll take Louis home for my part and Niall will come along” announced Zayn unbothered.</p><p>“What? Why?” wondered Harry confused.</p><p>“Just because!” replied Zayn shortly, then led Louis outside before anyone could ask.</p><p>They fell silent over the way home and enjoyed the cool evening air and the sparkling stars in the sky. When they arrived at Louis', he turned to Zayn and Niall. “Thank you for everything, you two are the best” thanked Louis them.</p><p>“Not for that, that's self-evident” waved Zayn the matter off modestly.</p><p>“What are friends for?!” agreed Niall with Zayn.</p><p>“You two are more than just friends. You are my brothers, my family” smiled Louis at them and then they hugged each other.</p><p>“Are you good alone or should we come in?” checked Niall concerned.</p><p>“I want to be alone. I need that now. Don't worry. I'm fine” assured Louis them little believable because it was a lie. He wasn't feeling well.</p><p>“You're not feeling well, but sleep can't hurt. Text me tomorrow, will you?”.</p><p>“Sure Zayn, until then,” said Louis goodbye and disappeared into the house.</p><p>As Niall and Zayn went back, Louis crept quietly into his room, threw himself on the bed and sobbed silently to himself. He had to let it out or it would eat him up.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>...<br/><br/></p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Niall and Zayn went back to the café, lost in thoughts, and saw Liam starting to take things down. Many guests had already left but Kyle was still sitting there, watching Harry amused. Zayn had promised Louis not to kill Kyle, but that didn't mean he couldn't speak to him. Niall seemed to have the same idea and together they approached Kyle.</p><p>“Look what we have here. Two of the bitch’s little friends. What do you want?” rolled Kyle his eyes as he noticed the two.</p><p>“We want you to leave our friend alone. Don't you dare come close to him or you'll regret it” came Zayn straight to the point.</p><p>“And what do you two want to do about it? Sing me to death?” he only mocked them.</p><p>“Don't underestimate us. That was the mistake of other people. We know no limits when it comes to our friends” was Niall intimidating Kyle now.</p><p>“Shouldn't his boyfriend threaten me and not you two clowns?” questioned Kyle the matter.</p><p>“Be glad it's not Harry. I wouldn't mess with him in this city. The city is basically his” told Zayn him.</p><p>“One more reason why I don't understand what he wants from the pussy. He's supposed to be gay? Not believable” stood Kyle up now.</p><p>“He has a name, you bastard” snarled Zayn at him.</p><p>“LOU - IIIIS. Sounds like a girl. He probably fucks like a girl, but only one of you knows that” mocked Kyle the boys and Louis.</p><p>“Say that again and you'll wish to have never been born” threatened Zayn him.</p><p>“Sure you're not his little boyfriend? Harry doesn't seem to care, but you do” eyed Kyle Zayn pejoratively.</p><p>“We know everything and if I were you, I'd disappear and best today. We promised Louis to do nothing to you, but some promises are meant to be broken” loomed Niall Kyle firmly.</p><p>“What's going on here?” came Harry over to them questioningly.</p><p>“Oh, we're just talking. Right, you bastards?” laughed Kyle nastily.</p><p>“Just make sure you leave. I don't have a problem with going to jail for assault if I protected my friends for it. What about you? Maybe you want to get a foretaste of your future?” was Zayn fed up.</p><p>“Are you threatening me?” glared Kyle at him.</p><p>“You don't deserve anything else” replied Zayn coolly.</p><p>“Leave and never come back. Breathe again in his presence and you'll never see the sun again” threatened Niall to piss him off now.</p><p>There was a loud bang behind them and as they turned around they saw Liam standing in front of a wooden box he had seemingly thrown to the ground. The box was completely shattered and Liam was breathing hard. Somebody probably had aggression problems. Kyle's face went pale at the sight and he swallowed hard.</p><p>“You won't always be there” tried Kyle to sound convincing.</p><p>“Come on, get out!” kicked Niall him out finally and exhaled more relieved when he was gone.</p><p>“Did I miss anything? What was that? Did you threaten him with violence? Are you insane?” asked Harry with his hands on his hips.</p><p>“Insane? Us? Not at all. He deserved it. Actually even more than that. He can be lucky that he is still free” grumbled Zayn stunned.</p><p>“Free? What are you talking about?” Harry didn't understand a word.</p><p>“You're really asking this? You were there this morning and you saw it. Did you not understand what happened there?” asked Niall horrified.</p><p>“Should I? Louis said everything is alright” replied Harry flatly.</p><p>“And you believe him?” gaped Niall at his dumb friend.</p><p>“Leave it, Niall. If he doesn't get it himself he shouldn't know it. That's better” retorted Zayn before Niall could say too much. Harry had already seen and heard too much anyway.</p><p>“That sounds so reproachful again. I thought you wouldn't expect anything from me” complained Harry insulted.</p><p>“We don't. Don't worry. We expect nothing” clarified Zayn done.</p><p>“Except maybe some sense and empathy, but that's probably not human anymore” added Niall, getting quieter with every word.</p><p>“Hey guys, where is Louis?” came Violetta over to them from behind.</p><p>“At home. You’re still here?” answered Niall in question.</p><p>“Yes, the girls and I helped Bay and wanted to say goodbye to you” she explained.</p><p>“Ah okay. Did you like it?” checked Niall curiously.</p><p>“Yes. You were great, but Louis looked downcast. He looked intimidated and scared, but not because of the gig. I just know it. Is everything all right?” was Violetta worried.</p><p>“At the moment, but you should call him tomorrow” advised Zayn her. She understood immediately.</p><p>“That's so damn confusing” sighed Harry out and Zayn only rolled his eyes.</p><p>“It's all done, we can go. Where is Louis? Did I miss something?” asked Liam when he came to his friends.</p><p>“Incredible” sighed Zayn and left the café without any comment with Niall and Violetta and the girls. Too many stupid questions for a day full of grief and sadness.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>---&gt;</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Louis spent the entire Sunday in his room isolated from the outside world. His mother had asked him if he wanted to go to the park, but he had refused. His phone vibrated countless times, but he simply threw it away. He didn't want to hear anything, see nothing, feel nothing. In his pain and frustration, he surprisingly wrote two songs. The inspiration came whenever he didn't expect it. On the one text, he was working at the moment and wrote the last words. That sounded all too positive for that he was so miserable. Pure irony.</p><p>Sighing, he lay down on the bed and stared at the ceiling. Unconsciously, he stroked and rubbed his wrist and the faded scars. As if in a trance he shuffled into the bathroom and locked the door. He leaned against the sink and looked in the mirror. His face was sunken in and his eyes were dull. He had reached another low point and was angry with himself. Angry because he had allowed it. Angry because he wasn't strong enough to continue as normal. Angry because he was sinking into self-pity and angry because he realized he was pathetic and worthless just as Kyle had said.</p><p>He grabbed the familiar silver blade and held it for a while. His thumb stroked the metal. His hands were shaking and he felt the pulse throbbing in his veins. But instead of breaking and doing it again, he stayed strong and threw the blade away. Tears ran down his face and he sank to the ground. He almost did it again and all his strength would have been in vain. He would have failed, but he didn't. But only this brief moment of weakness shamed Louis very much. He felt useless and pathetic.</p><p>He padded back to his room and threw himself on the bed. Again his phone vibrated, but this time he took it and was killed by countless messages. He sighed and read them all.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>From Joey:</b>
</p><p>“<em>How are you today? Were you able to sleep?”.</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <b>From Nialler:</b>
</p><p>“<em>Louis, how are you? All right?”.</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <b>From Zaddy @Magical Freaks:</b>
</p><p>“<em>Do you want to come over or should I come over? We could talk or watch a movie”.</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <b>From Nialler @Magical Freaks:</b>
</p><p>“<em>Feel like football?”.</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <b>From Zaddy:</b>
</p><p>“<em>Louis?”.</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <b>From Zaddy:</b>
</p><p>“<em>Louis, say something, give a sign of life from you”.</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <b>From Nialler:</b>
</p><p>“<em>I'm worried because you don't answer. Is everything good?”.</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <b>From Zaddy:</b>
</p><p>“<em>Louis????”.</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <b>From Zaddy:</b>
</p><p>“<em>????”.</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <b>From Zaddy</b>
  <em>:</em>
</p><p>“<em>Say Something!!”.</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <b>From Nialler:</b>
</p><p>“<em>We'll calm down, but please get in touch”.</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <b>From Lima:</b>
</p><p>“<em>Louis, for god's sake, answer them immediately. My phone is exploding with all these texts”.</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <b>From Zaddy:</b>
</p><p>“<em>Wow, you're still here”.</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <b>From Lima:</b>
</p><p>“<em>What is that supposed to mean?”.</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <b>From Zaddy:</b>
</p><p>“<em>Do you have any idea what's going on?”.</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <b>From Lima:</b>
</p><p>“<em>Should I?”.</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <b>From Nialler:</b>
</p><p>“<em>What is going on with you?”.</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <b>From Lima:</b>
</p><p>“<em>I don't have time for this crap. I have to do something for Dr Walters and then Lauren is waiting for me”.</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <b>From Zaddy:</b>
</p><p>“<em>Then go”.</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <b>From Harry:</b>
</p><p>“<em>Louis, are you there?”</em></p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>From Vilu to Louis:</b>
</p><p>“<em>Louis, how are you? You were great yesterday, but you looked worried. What happened? Zayn said I should ask you”.</em></p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>From Zaddy @Magical Freaks:</b>
</p><p>“<em>Louis, if you don't answer right away I'll stand in front of your door in three minutes”.</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <b>From Nialler:</b>
</p><p>“<em>Me in ten”.</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <b>From Tommo:</b>
</p><p>“<em>Calm Down. I'm fine. I was just busy and didn't have my phone with me, no need to worry”.</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <b>From Nialler:</b>
</p><p>“<em>You’re alive!!!!”.</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <b>From Zaddy:</b>
</p><p>“<em>Do you need anything?”.</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <b>From Tommo:</b>
</p><p>“<em>No, all good, see you tomorrow”.</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <b>From Tommo to Vilu:</b>
</p><p>“<em>I was with my thoughts somewhere else, should occur. I'm fine”.</em></p><p> </p><p>Gradually, Louis didn't feel like telling anyone he was fine. They should stop asking every three seconds, but the care of his friends made him happy. He was really important to them. Louis knew that for sure now.</p><p>Just when he wanted to put the phone away, a new message came in. Harry's name appeared on the screen but not in the group chat. Louis didn't know how to deal with Harry now after yesterday. He couldn't tell him, but Harry didn't really want to know anyway. He had understood that yesterday. This made him sad and happy at the same time. Harry's lack of interest should be a good thing because he wouldn't be able to tell him, but it also kinda hurt him.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em><b>From Haz (: to Lou</b>:</em>
</p><p>“<em>Hey Lou, I see you're fine. I wanted to apologize in case I said something wrong yesterday. Zayn seemed to be so angry and Niall too and then they threatened that Kyle dude and I don't understand the world anymore, but you're alright?”.</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <b>From Lou to Haz (: :</b>
</p><p>“<em>Yeah, I'm alright. You didn't do anything wrong. A lot of drama about nothing”.</em></p><p> </p><p>Louis was overwhelmed. Zayn and Niall had threatened Kyle. For him. The love of his friends was indescribable.</p><p>Suddenly it rang downstairs. He hesitated a second for what had happened last time, but then he went down. Timidly, he opened the door but there was no one there. He looked left and right but no one was to be seen.</p><p>As he was about to close the door, he noticed a note on the door. He took it off and closed the door. In familiar handwriting, his name was written on it. He opened it with trembling hands and read the written words. Every word struck him in the heart and in the soul. He crumpled up that piece of paper, felt the tears running down his face and ran into his room. He threw the note into the corner and cried himself to sleep, swarming with terrible nightmares.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Enjoy it for as long as you can. They'll leave you someday because you're a weird freak, you nasty bitch. He'll realize you're worthless sooner or later, fuck you half dead and then just leave when you have done your good. More you aren't worth, you little miserable pussy. Remember my words, you fag. Better end yourself right away, bitch. You're just a little worthless piece of shit. See you again”.</em></p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. 19. Mixed Up Views</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>“No, I'm telling you, it really happened. And then the crocodile came on” told Niall them out of breath. Liam, Louis, Harry and Zayn just looked at him amused.</p><p>“A crocodile?” raised Harry an eyebrow.</p><p>“Yes, and I almost missed the fireworks” exhaled Niall dramatically.</p><p>“Sure that really happened and you weren't on drugs?” questioned Zayn this strange story.</p><p>“Unlike you, I don't take drugs, or intend to” was Niall offended.</p><p>“Hey, what is that supposed to mean? I'm not taking drugs” huffed Zayn snappy.</p><p>“I'm reluctant to interrupt this vital conversation, but I have something to ask you for” intervened Liam seriously.</p><p>“And what?” asked Louis uninterested.</p><p>“I need DNA samples from you. That would be of some great use” revealed Liam to them.</p><p>“And for what?” hooked Zayn with mistrust. He didn't want to distrust Liam, but lately, he was behaving so strangely and the work with this stupid cow didn't make it any better.</p><p>“I want to investigate how the whole thing happened and how to control it, but no experiments work without a test object. You know I already have lots of documents about it, but I need proof” continued Liam neutrally.</p><p>“Do you think it's a good idea to experiment with us? Couldn't that go wrong and make things worse?” expressed Niall concerns.</p><p>“What's going to go wrong there? It's just me. I've helped you before, didn't I? Just trust me. I only want the best for you, you know that” assured Liam them.</p><p>“Do we know that?” asked Zayn hurt.</p><p>“What do you mean? Of course, I only want your best” said Liam clearly.</p><p>“That seemed different lately” stated Zayn neutrally.</p><p>“Just because I have other friends besides you and hang out with them doesn't mean that you don't matter to me. Why can't you accept that?” was Liam defending himself.</p><p>“When did you last see Nikki and I don't mean in school?” asked Zayn a counter-question.</p><p>“No idea, two weeks ago or something,” thought Liam.</p><p>“Wasn't she your best friend?” questioned Zayn provokingly.</p><p>“And weren't you always jealous of her?” countered Liam skilfully.</p><p>That hit Zayn unexpectedly. How had Liam noticed that? He never noticed anything else. He was the most oblivious person in the whole world. Did he know about his true feelings? “What? Why do you think that? Of course not. Why should I?”.</p><p>“I don't know. You tell me” shot Liam back.</p><p>“Guys, enough now. Calm down” interposed Niall now. Zayn and Liam both pouted with folded arms but stopped.</p><p>“Let's just give Liam the fucking DNA samples. What's in it? He just wants something to play with” threw Louis in completely indifferent. Zayn studied him, hopefully inconspicuous. Louis seemed absent and thoughtful to him and he was far too quiet. Something was wrong.</p><p>“What if someone else sees them?” expressed Harry doubt, but Louis just shrugged.</p><p>“It won't happen. You're doing that at home, right Liam?” checked Louis.</p><p>“Yeah, of course. Where else?” clarified Liam.</p><p>“See. S'all right” said Louis, continuing to poke around in his pristine food.</p><p>“As long as it stays in your room, I have no problem with that” commented Niall on the subject.</p><p>“We'll just give it to you at the rehearsal” announced Harry somewhat confidently.</p><p>“I can't come to the rehearsal today” informed Liam them.</p><p>“Let me guess, Lauren wants to go shopping?” mocked Zayn him.</p><p>“No, I have to go to the lab. Dr Baker needs my help. Lauren and the others aren't thrilled with the work. More precisely, she finds it corrosive” let Liam them know.</p><p>“Help sweep the floor?”.</p><p>“If they find it corrosive rather than seeing how important this is to you, they're not your friends” noted Niall seriously.</p><p>“Not everyone likes science. They don't have to like that and weren't you against it?” defended Liam Lauren.</p><p>“No, we're happy for you. We're just scared that it's too risky, but if you're sure, we're too” clarified Niall matter-of-factly.</p><p>“Niall is right. We know how important this is to you and would never talk you out of that” agreed Harry surely.</p><p>“Anyway. I definitely cannot come by today. Sorry. Bring it to me tomorrow” suggested Liam. “I don't know why we should rehearse so much anyway. We all know the songs. There are no new ones. Why the effort?”.</p><p>“I really can't think of anything to say” sighed Zayn and with that, the topic was finished.</p><p>For the rest of the day, his thoughts drove Zayn half insane. During music class, Zayn couldn't concentrate one bit. His eyes kept wandering to Liam, who didn't pay attention, to his surprise. He wrote some things in his folder and seemed to be deep in thought. That was so untypical for Liam. If nobody was paying attention in school you could always say with certainty that Liam was the exception. School was incredibly important to him. He liked to learn new things and always tested his limits. But this version of Liam was far away from that.</p><p>Zayn was wondering if this was due to Lauren and the others, whose names he just didn't know at all, or if this stupid work thing was to blame. Sure, they had told him they would be happy for him, which was true, but the mistrust of Dr Baker, Dr Walters and their team and the panic that Liam carelessly said too much because they influenced him was simply bigger than the joy for his friend and his success if you could call it that. He often didn't see them and he didn't work with them at all, as far as Zayn knew.</p><p>The rehearsal was also different than expected. The songs worked perfectly, that wasn't the problem. It was rather his friends who worried him. Niall seemed to be somewhere else with his thoughts. He was still careless at school, but now he seemed ten times more depressed. He barely smiled and didn't jump around. He was like a substitute.</p><p>Louis, on the other hand, didn't look much happier either. He looked like seven days of rainy weather and that was nicely expressed. The funny, flamboyant sassy angel he was normally seemed introverted, reserved and listless today. As if he would imprison his true self and put on this cold shell.</p><p>The only one who was normal was Harry. He enjoyed singing and didn't seem to notice a thing. Either he really didn't get the obvious problems, or it just left him cold. Zayn couldn't ignore the hanging faces of his friends. He wondered what the trigger was. With Louis, Zayn was certain what the reason was. And that reason had four letters.</p><p>With Niall, Zayn wasn't so sure. It was uncharacteristic for him to let his problems show. Usually, he hid it and was always a happy goblin, but of course, they had long since seen through this facade, which is why they always made unnoticed sure that Niall was fine. But this time something seemed to be totally bad.</p><p>Worrying about his friends drove him crazy. All his thoughts were on Liam, Niall and Louis, but also on Harry's inattention and stupidity. Zayn wasn't doing so well himself. The thing with Liam bothered him. He could hardly suppress his feelings any more than his jealousy or pain when he saw Liam with Lauren. She stole him from Zayn and he didn't like it, but the worst part was that Liam didn't notice. The played friendliness dazzled him and his work kept him from thinking. Zayn was afraid they would lose Liam. He couldn't be without him no matter how much he bothered Zayn at the moment or drove him crazy. He loved Liam. He certainly knew that even if he didn't want that and wished he could only see him as a friend.</p><p>At the end of the rehearsal, Zayn decided not to speak to Niall and Louis about it and just give them some time. Talking about problems and feelings was good and important, but sometimes you just needed some time for yourself. Time to get over things. Time to think. Time to cry. Time to hate the world. At some point, the moment would come to spend time with his friends to distract themselves or leave it behind. Or to talk. When that time came, Zayn would be there for them both, listening to them and helping out with words and deeds because there was nothing more important to him than his friends.</p><p>Until then he would need the time alone to forget Liam and get his insecurities under control. Then he would talk to his friends and they would help each other and cry like the girls they were inside and then start the new morning with new strength.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>---&gt;</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p> </p><p>The city was packed. Why were so many people in town on a Thursday afternoon? Niall, Harry and Zayn had just bought an ice cream and were still waiting for Liam. He was supposed to be here twenty minutes ago, but he still hasn't shown up.</p><p>“Do you think he will come?” asked Harry thoughtfully.</p><p>“Of course. Liam doesn't just leave you hanging without calling” answered Niall somewhat uncertainly.</p><p>“I used to say that, too” murmured Zayn sadly. He had barely seen Liam the whole week. He was always busy, with Lauren or late to get to the lab. Zayn wasn't used to spending so much time without Liam.</p><p>“Did you notice that he only pays attention in chemistry and biology and nowhere else? That's kind of weird” questioned Niall.</p><p>“It's like he suddenly doesn't care about what's important to him thanks to Dr Baker or Lauren” confirmed Zayn mournfully.</p><p>“I would like to deny it, but I noticed that too” confessed Harry meekly.</p><p>“You used to be that way. Do you know why he's behaving like that?” turned Zayn his head to Harry.</p><p>“Like what?” furrowed Harry his eyebrows.</p><p>“Like Liam now. Surrounded by fake people who keep you away from what matters to you without you realizing it” went Zayn into more detail.</p><p>“Oh, um ... I can't help you either. I don't know why Liam is like that. It's hard to recognize and admit it, so ...” stammered Harry awkwardly. Zayn didn't want to achieve that. He hadn't expected to unsettle Harry so much.</p><p>“Sorry, I didn't mean to ... um... Well, we still have to decide when to go to the game tomorrow” cleared Zayn his throat and changed the subject.</p><p>“I would say half an hour earlier so we have plenty of time and can choose places” helped Niall him to cover the tension.</p><p>“Well, um, we should ask Liam if that suits him too” reminded Harry the two, a little embarrassed.</p><p>To see Harry other than completely arrogant and confident was still unusual for Zayn. Even when they were kids Harry was more confident than when they said something wrong now. Zayn never thought that was possible and wasn’t sure if he liked that.</p><p>“Oh, yes. We'll let him know when he comes by” said Zayn weirdly.</p><p>“Can I ask you two something?” shifted Harry his foot nervously across the ground.</p><p>“You don't have to ask for permission, just ask” grinned Niall at him.</p><p>“Right, um. Did you both notice something unusual about Louis?” cleared Harry his throat.</p><p>“In what way?” hooked Niall, though he knew exactly what Harry meant, but he didn't want to say too much.</p><p>“Well, he's so quiet and withdrawn in the last few days. He seems listless and sad during the rehearsals, and during drama, he doesn't say a word. He loves drama more than anything else, it's his favourite subject. Is something wrong with him?” was Harry obviously worried.</p><p>Neither of them knew what to say. Sure, they had noticed that, how could you not, and of course they knew why he behaved that way, but they couldn't just tell Harry in the middle of the city without Louis. Maybe Niall trusted him almost a hundred per cent again, but Zayn didn't and Louis didn't either. This wasn't their past, it was not their right to interfere and just spill everything.</p><p>“Um, yes. I've noticed that. He probably just has a bad week. Something like that should occur” tried Niall to downplay the problem.</p><p>“Just a bad week? He looks like someone has brutally murdered his dog!” exclaimed Harry in horror.</p><p>“He doesn't even have a dog” dead-panned Zayn.</p><p>“Are you serious? Something's wrong and you put it on a bad mood? You two aren't believable one bit. What's going on here? What ... “.</p><p>Harry was interrupted by a phone ringing. Zayn quickly rammed his phone out, avoiding Harry's piercing gaze, and picked it up as he saw Liam's name on the screen. “Liam, where are you? You should have been here half an hour ago”.</p><p>“I know, that's why I'm calling. I'm not coming. I'm needed here” informed Liam him.</p><p>“For what and couldn't you tell us earlier?” got Zayn angry in an uncontrollable way.</p><p>“I wasn't able to make a call earlier. My work is important to me and I don't want to lose it just to let you know” replied Liam unfazed.</p><p>“Oh, sorry that we don't just want to stand around dumbly” rolled Zayn his eyes.</p><p>“My team wants to let me in on some important things. Dr Walters has seen some of my documents and realized my potential. I will not miss that” said Liam annoyed.</p><p>“What kind of documents?” Zayn wanted to know sceptically.</p><p>“Just records and notes of experiments I had with me. By the way, in the next few days, I'll check your samples in the lab. It's much better and bigger than my stuff” told Liam him casually.</p><p>“WHAT??? You can't be serious, Liam. That's far too risky!” exclaimed Zayn stunned. Harry and Niall looked at him questioningly.</p><p>“No reason to lash out. I know what I'm doing. I gotta go. Bye,” Liam simply ended the call. Completely puzzled, Zayn stared at his phone and couldn't think straight.</p><p>“Zayn, what's up? What did Liam want?” asked Niall curiously.</p><p>“He wants to test our samples in the lab and has some highly important things to do with those scientists. Oh, and he isn't coming” informed Zayn them, still shocked.</p><p>“Whoa, wait a second. In Dr Walters’ lab?” Niall couldn't believe it.</p><p>“Exactly there”.</p><p>“How can he do that? He said he’d only do it at home. That could be our downfall” panicked Niall directly.</p><p>“We have to stop Liam from doing that. We'd better talk to him tomorrow” agreed Harry with Niall.</p><p>“Hopefully that changes something” mumbled Zayn desperately.</p><p>“We should inform Louis. It affects him too” suggested Harry, searching for his phone.</p><p>“I'll do it” stopped Zayn Harry quickly. “But after the game. We don't have to stress him even more. He has enough on his hands”.</p><p>“If you say so” shrugged Harry.</p><p>“Hello, guys. What are you doing here?” they heard Violetta asking behind them.</p><p>“Just a city stroll and you?” replied Niall interested.</p><p>“I'm looking for a present for my mother, but it looks like I have to order it online” she answered honestly.</p><p>“Will you join us?” offered Niall her.</p><p>“Gladly, if that's alright for everyone” she looked at Harry.</p><p>“Sure, why not. The more the better” grinned Harry happily.</p><p>Together with Violetta, they continued to stroll around the city and talked about everything possible. Zayn really liked her and liked to have her as a friend. With her, you could have a lot of fun. She and Louis were both very sarcastic and cheeky. That's why they were such good friends. In addition, you could rely on both if you had problems. That's why it was so hard to lie to her.</p><p>Zayn was just afraid it might be uncomfortable between Violetta and Harry, as the two weren't really on good terms. Like Zayn, Violetta was very protective of Louis and she knew that Harry had hurt him a lot, even though she didn't know everything due to the magic thing. She had always been suspicious of Harry and trusted him zero since the thing in the cafeteria before the holidays. After all, she had punched him in the face when they were all four frozen on the spot. She was always there for the boys.</p><p>But she had also noticed Harry's changed behaviour and she has been sceptical at first but gradually, she also saw that he was serious. Nevertheless, Zayn was surprised to see how well the two got along. They laughed a lot and talked like old friends. Somehow Zayn was glad about it. Apparently, they all had left the past behind. Finally.</p><p>“Well, Harry can be really nice. Who would have thought that?” turned Violetta to Zayn after a while as Niall and Harry did crazy things while walking through the city, earning weird glances from strangers, but they didn't care. This carelessness of Harry surprised Zayn and made him very happy.</p><p>“He certainly doesn't” watched Zayn Niall and Harry, smiling fondly. The friendship of the two lads had really gotten stronger and it seemed to be doing Harry really good.</p><p>“How is Louis doing with it? I saw that the two are closer than before, very close. But can he handle it? Can he forget it?” asked Violetta worriedly.</p><p>“Not at the beginning. No one could do it. We both had it the hardest, he especially. But he forgave him. Still, trust is another problem. Louis and I are both unwilling and unable to trust him. Time may change that” let Zayn her in on his thoughts.</p><p>“I understand. He hurt you all deeply and misused your trust more than once. He'll understand it takes time, but you seem to have fun” said Violetta understandingly.</p><p>“Yeah, we do have some fun. He's really making a change. I just don't want to expect too much and have my hopes up. He'll always be Harry” mused Zayn thoughtfully.</p><p>“And that's a good thing. He's not supposed to be a completely different person. Just getting the best out of himself” patted Violetta him on the shoulder.</p><p>“You're right. Wow, so many wise and deep words in the middle of the street” chuckled Zayn lightly.</p><p>“You're an idiot. I'll go home now” she shook her head laughingly.</p><p>“Okay, get home safely,” he said goodbye to her with a hug.</p><p>“Guys, I'm going home. See you tomorrow” called Violetta over at Niall and Harry.</p><p>“Okay, see you tomorrow” called Niall back.</p><p>“Bye Vilu” waved Harry goodbye with a smile.</p><p>“Bye H” she waved back and then walked her way.</p><p>Yes, Zayn could see it. It got better. They were on the right track, but he had a bad feeling in his guts. Something was about to happen and no one could say what it was.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>---&gt;</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Everyone was nervous right before the football game. Zayn, Niall and Harry were already sitting in the front row of the grandstand, watching the warm-up. Niall and Zayn were worried about Louis. The last few days he wasn't himself, which was understandable after what had happened, but they didn't know how to help him. Louis always forced a fake smile onto his face and pretended to be fine, but his eyes betrayed him. Even Harry had noticed that.</p><p>Now the two were easily afraid that he was too distracted to get through the game. While warming up, he was repeatedly asked by his teammates, Max and Luke, if everything was good, which he always answered with a grumpy yes. Zayn could see from afar how much Louis was annoyed by this question. Also, a sign that something was wrong.</p><p>Harry next to Zayn was watching the team. His eyes were fixed mainly on Louis and each of his movements. How his biceps tensed with the push-ups. How his ass moved while running. How his beautiful blue eyes didn't shine with happiness when the game started. Instead, he looked scared like a baby deer taking his first steps. What was wrong with him?</p><p>For the first few minutes of the game, Louis was super nervous and was scared to ruin everything because he was a total failure and only did damage to the team. He couldn't prevent himself from feeling worthless and useless as in the last few days and wandered away with his thoughts. He doubted his way of life. Kyle's words never left him. Maybe he should have just let it happen while it was still possible. Maybe Kyle was right and he really didn't deserve his friends and love. What could he really offer them or a significant other? He was a nobody with deep complexes that prevented any kind of relationship. Maybe he should become exactly what Kyle always said he was. A nasty bitch who sleeps around because he didn't deserve any further attention. Nobody could love him with all the problems. Nobody would ever love him.</p><p>When the game came closer to the end in the first half and Louis had still done very little as to sink into self-pity, the ball was played to him. It was so sudden and unexpected that Louis simply started running with the ball without thinking. The opposing defenders wanted to stop him, but he dribbled around them and aimed at the goal. The goalkeeper didn't see that coming and missed the ball. 1:0 for their team.</p><p>And that was the moment when Louis awoke from his stupor and felt his old self coming back again. Kinda. An honest, open smile spread across his face and he felt joy inside of himself. The crowd cheered and his teammates fell into his arms. Maybe he was good for something, even if it was only football.</p><p>Harry immediately saw the difference in Louis' eyes and felt relief and joy spreading through him. He cheered at him loudly. Such a reaction was new to him, but he had never felt better. Seeing Louis feeling better made Harry happy and he didn't know why Louis caused all those emotions in him.</p><p>“That was a perfect goal” was Niall excited.</p><p>“I'm so relieved he seems to be back in business” sighed Zayn out, relieved.</p><p>“He looks happy to me. That's better than this morning” stated Violetta happily.</p><p>“Yes, he is smiling again” agreed Nikki with her.</p><p>“There's nothing better in the world” gushed Harry without realizing he had said it out loud.</p><p>“What?” asked Victoria and Zayn in surprise.</p><p>“Um, I mean there is nothing better than friends who support each other” cleared Harry his throat as he cursed mentally and wondered what he really meant. He couldn't have meant Louis' smile, could he?</p><p>“Um, okay, the second half starts. Where is Liam?” changed Violetta the subject with an amused look towards Harry.</p><p>“He wanted to come with us, but he didn't show up” explained Niall curtly to her.</p><p>“Again” added Zayn grumbling.</p><p>He was really disappointed with Liam and his current behaviour. He has never been so unreliable and uninterested. Zayn didn't want to admit it, but deep down he believed it was his fault. That Liam had enough of this magic thing and wanted normal friends who were more popular and liked to be the focus of attention, with whom he could go to the beach and the moon wasn't a taboo topic. Normal people.</p><p>But most of all, he believed Liam knew that Zayn had a crush on him and was disgusted and appalled about it. Therefore, he avoided them as often as possible, like today when he didn't show up in school for the first time in years and gave them no reason. He had scared Liam off with his fucking feelings and now he let them all down. And that was Zayn's fault alone, he was sure.</p><p>The final score was 2: 0 thanks to Louis, but instead of going partying with the team Louis persuaded them to go home and that was exactly what they did.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>...<br/><br/></p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Hungrily, they put some pizzas in the oven and then went up to Louis' room. They had decided to just hang out and chill for a bit. Zayn leaned at the end of the bed while Harry sat on the floor cross-legged. Louis had just disappeared into the bathroom and Niall was still in the kitchen. He didn't want to leave the pizza alone.</p><p>“Do you think you could live on Mars someday?” asked Harry randomly.</p><p>“Mh, I don't know. It might be possible, assuming the aliens don't kill us” thought Zayn way too serious.</p><p>“Just because movies make aliens look evil, they're not” protested Harry.</p><p>“Probably not green either. Do you think the NASA knows more?”.</p><p>“I'm pretty sure, Zayn,” said Harry firmly. He played with his phone that he dropped when Zayn and he started to laugh.</p><p>“Maybe we should offer the aliens pizza. Then they would certainly spare us” laughed Zayn unweighted.</p><p>“Probably they'll idolize us and make us their kings” joked Harry.</p><p>“This is my new goal in life: King of the Aliens” cackled Zayn overjoyed.</p><p>Harry couldn't stop laughing but still groped for his phone. But instead of his cell phone, his hand bumped into a crumpled piece of paper lying in the corner. He glanced briefly at the paper and badly recognized Louis' name on it. Sceptical, he picked it up and unfolded it so that he could read what was written on it. When he read the few sentences, all laughter died down and he didn't know what to feel. That was absolutely cruel. That somebody wrote such words horrified Harry until he realized he had said such things himself. Now he felt even worse.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“<em>Enjoy it for as long as you can. They'll leave you someday because you're a weird freak, you nasty bitch. He'll realize you're worthless sooner or later, fuck you half dead and then just leave when you have done your good. More you aren't worth, you little miserable pussy. Remember my words, you fag. Better end yourself right away, bitch. You're just a little worthless piece of shit. See you again”.</em></p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Zayn, you should check that out,” said Harry quietly.</p><p>Confused, Zayn stopped laughing and leaned towards Harry. He took the note and read the writing. Immediately, his face hardened and worry filled his eyes. “Where did you get that?”.</p><p>“It was on the floor, crumpled in the corner. I was just looking for my phone. I didn't want to …”.</p><p>“Harry, keep calm. You don't have to justify yourself. I just wanted to know where it came from. No one's mad at you. I'm sure I know who wrote that” interrupted Zayn his rambling.</p><p>“Who? Who could be so mean?” Harry wanted to know worriedly.</p><p>He saw Zayn hesitating before answering. Once again he realized that he wasn't trusted. Harry didn't understand why. Although, if he was honest with himself then he somehow understood it. To some extent. But slowly they should really trust him. It was over two weeks ago.</p><p>“Kyle” hissed Zayn shortly and immediately regretted it when he saw the question marks on Harry's face.</p><p>Before Harry could ask, the door opened and Louis came in. He has been in the bathroom for a long time, Zayn thought. He saw how Louis scratched his wrist and immediately panicked. Was Louis cutting himself?</p><p>“Is Niall not back yet? I bet you, he'll stick to the oven until the pizza is ready and ...” joked Louis until he spotted the note in Zayn's hand. Immediately, he stopped and looked at the floor, ashamed.</p><p>“Louis, why didn't you say anything to me?” asked Zayn carefully.</p><p>“About what?” played Louis stupid.</p><p>“You know what I'm talking about. The note?” became Zayn clearer.</p><p>“Oh, that's nothing. Just ignore that” waved Louis the matter off.</p><p>“Nothing? He insulted you very badly, Lou. That's not nothing” contradicted Harry indignantly.</p><p>“Nothing I haven't heard before. I'm getting used to it. Don't worry, it's not serious” replied Louis and Harry couldn't help but stare at him. How could Louis just accept this? Did he believe those words?</p><p>“No word of this is true, Louis. Kyle is a heartless arsehole. He didn't deserve you. He never did” told Zayn him as Louis sat down on the bed with his head down.</p><p>“But he's not the only one who said that. They have to come up with it somehow” contradicted Louis, stroking his wrist.</p><p>“Louis” sighed Zayn.</p><p>“No, Zayn, it's all good. Don't worry about me all the time” demanded Louis desperately.</p><p>For a reason that Harry didn't understand, Zayn grabbed Louis' wrist and stroked it carefully. His eyes seemed sad as he looked at Louis, who had tears in his eyes. But Harry couldn't see anything.</p><p>“Oh Louis, tell me it's not that bad again, please?” pleaded Zayn at him.</p><p>“It's not. I stay strong, though sometimes it's hard” assured Louis him as a tear ran down his cheek.</p><p>Harry didn't understand a word, but it had to be serious if Louis cried and Zayn looked that broken although he was still in the same room with them. Sometimes Harry wished he understood more about humans and their psyche or little hints. But he had never been interested in sentimental matters before and that was now doomed to him. He urgently needed to allow his emotional side to come through and get rid of the fact that feelings and tears were only for girls. That was nonsense. Crying was manly and feelings don't make you weak. He understood that now.</p><p>“Pizza is ready” announced Niall joyfully when he came into the room, pizza in hand. Zayn immediately released Louis' wrist and Louis wiped the tears from his cheek.</p><p>“Did I miss something?” asked Niall confused. Harry handed him the note and Niall had exactly the same reaction as he and Zayn.</p><p>“Niall, don't say anything. I'm tired of hearing that. Let's just eat” implored Louis frantic.</p><p>“But ...”.</p><p>“Of course, Tommy. Niall, give me the pizza” cut Zayn him off.</p><p>Niall handed him the pizza while Zayn nodded at Louis' wrist. Realization could be recognized directly in Niall's face and he sat down without another word on the bed and ate his pizza. He pushed Harry's pizza over to him without a comment. Dazed, he began to eat. How could the two just eat and ignore what this guy had written? Did they just want to pretend that nothing happened? And why did it seem like Harry was the only one who didn't understand something? As soon as Zayn had Louis' wrist in his hand he stopped to ask and Niall gave in as well. Why?</p><p>Oh, wait a second. No, this couldn't be true. He never wore long sleeves or bracelets. That just couldn't be. But the harsh reality rattled down on Harry. Was Louis hurting himself?</p><p>“Louis, what's that?” asked Niall in confusion, pointing to the floor.</p><p>“Oh, just my notebook” shrugged Louis unbothered.</p><p>“And why is that on the floor?” checked Niall confused.</p><p>“Because I threw it there” replied Louis monotonously.</p><p>“Why?”.</p><p>“That's a lot of questions, Nialler” grinned Louis.</p><p>“Oh, you wrote something new. May I read it?” realized Zayn as he picked it up from the floor.</p><p>“What? No, I ...” stammered Louis hastily.</p><p>“Too late” laughed Niall evilly and grabbed the notebook.</p><p>“Niall!” Zayn and Louis shouted in horror.</p><p>“That's very deep” enthused Niall as he finished reading the lyrics, which was difficult because Zayn tried the whole time to snatch the notebook out of his hand.</p><p>“Um, thanks” turned Louis slightly red and became nervous.</p><p>“May I read it too?” asked Zayn for permission.</p><p>“Why not. Niall knows it already” shook Louis his head defeatedly.</p><p>“Me too? You don't have to show it to me if you don't want to. I just love your lyrics” rambled Harry shyly. He was never shy. What was wrong with him?</p><p>“Don't hesitate yourself” said Louis indifferently.</p><p>“Louis, I ... I don't know what to say, this is ... did you write this the other day?” wrestled Zayn for words.</p><p>Louis took the notebook and handed it to Harry. When Harry took it, he stole a quick glance at Louis' wrist. There were three faint lines, small scars, but nothing more. Nothing fresh. This realization shocked and relieved him at the same time. He hadn't cut himself in the bathroom today, but he had done it before. A while ago.</p><p>Harry swallowed the lump in his throat and opened the notebook. He stumbled over the page with the single sentences again and that one sentence that made him shudder like the first time. Now the phrase got even more meaning, even though Harry thought it was about even more.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Fading Scars across my skin. A bruised heart cause of where I've been. Burning pain along the way ...</em>
</p><p> </p><p>But the reality was: Louis had been cutting himself and no one had known. It took Harry too long to finally understand that, unlike Niall and Zayn. Why did they understand it so fast? Then Harry remembered that they knew more about Louis than he did. Presumably, they also knew the reason.</p><p>Harry thought about it for a second. Was this Kyle the reason? Who was he really and what did he really have to do with Louis? Was it that bad? His words were cruel, so Harry didn't want to imagine how bad he could be away from the paper.</p><p>Harry flipped the page and found the one new song.<em> Fool For You.</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Silly me was naïve enough to trust</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Let me be played, let me be fooled</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Never noticed I have always been out ruled</em>
</p><p>
  <em>You’re the reason for my newfound mistrust</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>My betrayed feelings were just a game for you</em>
</p><p>
  <em>You ignited a fast-burning flame</em>
</p><p>
  <em>But all you ever cared about was the fame</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Lied to me from the start and never cared about breaking </em>
</p><p>
  <em>my heart</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Yeah, I was a fool your you, fool for you</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Your lies deceived me and kept me from being free</em>
</p><p>
  <em>But maybe I still want you to lie to me</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Yeah, Baby, I’m a fool for you</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Your soul is as dark as the Caribbean sea</em>
</p><p>
  <em>You took me down with you</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And made me believe I have to be glad</em>
</p><p>
  <em>But none of your words has ever been true</em>
</p><p>
  <em>One day you’re gonna realise what you had</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And regret you ever left me</em>
</p><p> </p><p>The text of the song made him thoughtful. Especially this one sentence that didn’t quite fit in. It was completely out of context but at the same time seemed like the most important lyric of the whole song. What was the meaning behind all of this?</p><p>
  <em>One day you're gonna realise what you had and regret you ever left me.</em>
</p><p>Have Kyle and Louis been together? Was he his ex? That just couldn't be. Kyle made his hatred of Louis, wherever that came from, and his antipathy to gays very clear. Besides, Louis had better taste. He would never go out with such a dick. Harry was sure of it. Louis deserved more than that. That was impossible. Louis was an angel and Kyle was the devil in person. Louis would never go out with somebody who offended and insulted him that badly.</p><p>But Harry had done exactly that and still, he was sitting here now. Not that the two would go out. Oh God no, he was straight. But Louis had forgiven him. That took a long time but at least ... Wait, was Kyle the reason that had taken so long? Oh no, that couldn't be. He was not his ex.</p><p>Suddenly he remembered that Louis had said he had regretted kissing his ex. That would fit into the theory. But Louis would never kiss that greasy guy right? The thought made him sick. No, that was completely impossible, right? Kyle was not his ex and that was it.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. 20. The Sample *</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I'm not sure if this needs a trigger warning, so just in case you do this is your trigger warning.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>For the millionth time, Zayn tried to reach Liam, but he just didn't answer the phone. Restless, he paced up and down his room. When he woke up he had a bad feeling in his stomach as if something terrible was about to happen and his first thought was Liam and that stupid scientist group that could be dangerous to them. Not that Lauren and the rest were annoying enough. No, there had to be a bigger danger in the form of a pretty angel that swept Liam off his feet.</p><p>He checked his watch and found he had to leave for work in twenty minutes and Liam still didn't answer. The bad feeling became stronger and he worried slowly. One last time he dialled Liam's number and held the phone to his ear. The familiar ringing sounded and Zayn was already on it to get no answer. But suddenly a click sounded and Liam's voice came through his cell phone.</p><p>“Hi, Zayn, what's up? Why are you terrorizing me? Did anybody die?” laughed Liam amused.</p><p>“You don't joke about that” blunted Zayn.</p><p>“It's alright. What's so important?”.</p><p>That was exactly the problem. What should Zayn answer? That he had a weird feeling and wanted to make sure that he hadn't betrayed them yet? Definitely not. What did Zayn want to know? That Liam was okay? Unfortunately, yes. Was he in the lab? Also yes. Whether he had a thing for Dr Baker? Oh, hell no. Did he have the samples with him? Of course yes. That was the most important one.</p><p>“Um ... I ... err ...” stammered Zayn helplessly.</p><p>“Let me guess, you want to know if I'm in the lab with your samples?” guessed Liam the reason for the call.</p><p>“Umm yes somehow” confessed Zayn caught.</p><p>“The answer is yes. I'm in the lab right now. I'm using the time they’re gone to examine your samples” told Liam him honestly.</p><p>“What? Liam, you can't do that. There are a lot of science freaks around you who would do anything for a big discovery!” exclaimed Zayn in horror.</p><p>“Now don't overdo it and hey, I'm not a freak” joked Liam unimpressed. Zayn heard sounds ringing and recognized the clink of glass on metal.</p><p>“Liam, please don't go there. Please leave. Do it for us” he begged him tearfully.</p><p>“I'm doing this for you. All of it. I want to help you, just trust me” became Liam angry.</p><p>“I don't trust them, however” avoided Zayn the question of trust.</p><p>“But I do. They are great people who love their work. Everything they do they’re doing it with respect for the creature or the plant. They wouldn't do anything forbidden to harm anyone” defended Liam them.</p><p>This admiration in Liam's voice almost made Zayn surrender. He knew Liam was mostly talking about Dr Baker. She had really wrapped him around the little finger. If she wanted something from him now, he would give it to her without hesitation. And that was what Zayn was scared of. She only had to blink once with her eyelashes and he would hand them over.</p><p>“That's bullshit. If she finds out what you are doing she definitely wants to know everything and w .... “.</p><p>“You don't know her at all. Stop talking about her that way” cut Liam him off angrily.</p><p>“Liam, don't get mad. I don't want to argue with you every time we talk, especially not because of them” begged Zayn him.</p><p>“But we don't do anything else anymore. We argue over any crap. Just admit that you're envious and you don't begrudge me all that. Neither Lauren nor Dr Baker or ...”.</p><p>“Envious? Me? Don't be stupid. You're just a character in their chess game and Lauren just uses you as long as the band is up to date. We're your friends and want only the best for you” was Zayn negatively stunned. How could Liam even think that?</p><p>“You are great friends. I'm trying to research your weird anomaly and you're mistrusting me. Be glad I'm helping you. Everybody else would have run away screaming” snapped Liam madly at him.</p><p>“Nice to know what you really think. You don't need to do anything else for us when we are too awful” said Zayn hurt. Liam's words hit him deep in his heart. He had already lost him.</p><p>“Zayn, …”.</p><p>“Save it. Just bring the samples back, then you're rid of us” Zayn didn't let him speak.</p><p>Suddenly, Zayn heard the squeak of a door and Liam's sharp intake of air. A clinking sounded and footsteps were heard. “What's going on in here?” Zayn heard a female voice ask. He knew immediately who that was.</p><p>But instead of listening to the conversation, the beeping of the line was the only thing he could hear. Liam had hung up on him. Panicked, Zayn looked at his silent smartphone and tried to process all this. Liam thought they were all strange and saw himself as a kind of saint because he helped them and to make matters worse, Dr Baker had caught him in the lab. Now Liam had a big problem and Zayn shouldn't care. But he did.</p><p>Oh, God. Liam got caught. Ironically by her. Now she will kick him out for sure. Liam will be mad at him forever, claiming it was his fault for distracting him. Oh shit. The samples. He hoped she hadn't seen them. What if she kept Liam captive now until he told her where he got the samples from? What if she hurt him to get her information? Next, she would come after them and hunt them until she had them all. She'll put them in labs in white tunics and straitjackets. She will experiment with them to find out how it happened. And if she didn't find a solution, she would use harder methods. He will never see his family again.</p><p>His family! Would she do something to them? Did she think they knew something? Would she also examine his mother or sister against their will until Zayn told her what she wanted to know and he told her about the islands? Then she would explore the islands and maybe destroy them in the process. Then there was no longer a place of retreat for the boys. No way to find any answers. No safe place.</p><p>But they wouldn't experience that anyway because they would probably succumb to the experiments someday. Niall would never see his mother again and could never live up to his promise to give her a better life. Harry would never have the chance to find out who he really was and would die before he found a purpose for his life. Louis would lose his sisters and any opportunity to ever experience love and leave his trauma behind. And Zayn would never see Liam again and could never tell him the truth, not that he would want to hear it anyway. She would probably torture Liam, but then recruit him to help her and he would. He saw his life passing by.</p><p>His breathing got faster and faster until he couldn't breathe. It all turned; he felt dizzy; his vision became blurry and he lost his balance and fell to the ground. Panting and gasping, he leaned against his bed. Everything crumbled together in him and he soon thought he was suffocating. He barely noticed when his bedroom door opened and his mother came in. She let out a panicked scream when she saw him lying there and immediately ran over to him.</p><p>“Zayn, can you hear me? You have to breathe. In and out” she explained slowly.</p><p>Blurred, he saw her face and nodded to her barely visible. He tried to breathe, but as soon as he inhaled he had the feeling of drowning.</p><p>“In and out. Slowly and carefully. Listen to my voice, Zayn. It's going to be all right” she said in a quiet, reassuring voice.</p><p>Gradually, he calmed down and his breathing became normal again. He felt his hands still shaking when he could see normal again.</p><p>“Here, have a drink” she handed him his glass of water from the bedside table. Greedily, he swallowed the water as if he hadn't been drinking for days.</p><p>“What was that?” he gasped breathlessly.</p><p>“You had a panic attack. Your father had these too. Was that the first time?” she explained to him. Why didn't he know about that?</p><p>“Yes, it was. That was horrible” he whined in shock.</p><p>“I know, but it's over now. Will you tell me what triggered it?” she listened.</p><p>“I don't know myself. I talked to Liam on the phone normally. That's all” he told her.</p><p>He really didn't know what triggered it. Of course, he was worried about his life since those bastards were in their life and Liam juggled with it but was that enough to suddenly get a panic attack? He never had had one before.</p><p>“Something could have been the trigger, but that's not important now. Are you feeling better?”.</p><p>“Yes, a little bit. Will that happen again?” Zayn wanted to know scared.</p><p>“You can't say for sure, but I'm afraid it will, Darling. But could have been a one-time thing” she told him sympathetically.</p><p>“Thanks, Mum. I have to go now” he said thanking and tried to get up.</p><p>“You can't go to work like this” she wanted to stop him as he swayed slightly to the side and was still trembling.</p><p>“I have to. I'm feeling better. I'm going very slowly and I'm not exaggerating. I just have to feed turtles” he assured her.</p><p>“Alright, but I'll drive you and no argument” she decided and left the room.</p><p>Zayn watched her, shaking his head. He loved his mother and her caring. It was probably better if she drove him. Like this, he could recover from it before he started to work. Great, now he had one more problem. Could it get any worse?</p><p>At that moment his phone rang and Liam's name appeared on the screen. Anxiously, he swallowed hard and then picked it up. “Liam, is everything alright?”</p><p>“Yes, everything's alright. I'm standing in front of the lab. I'm supposed to do something for her. So nothing new” he told Zayn casually and Zayn was relieved. Liam was fine.</p><p>“She didn't throw you out?” checked Zayn.</p><p>“No. She wasn't even mad. She admired my zest and was interested in my stuff. She said it was rare to find young people who are so devoted to science. But I had no time to finish my stuff. It's all still in there, but I'll get it later when she is done with it. First I need to find Dr Walters now” confessed Liam unbothered.</p><p>“Wait, did you just say all your things are still in the lab and she's in there?” asked Zayn in shock.</p><p>“Of course. It's her lab” said Liam neutrally.</p><p>“What exactly?”. Zayn had closed his eyes and was afraid of the worst.</p><p>“Everything. My documents and the samples. I was just working on it when she came in. I didn't have time to finish anything though. I asked her to close up my work and she said we’re gonna talk about the results later, but now I have to go and fetch Dr Walters first” tried Liam to explain it to Zayn without him freaking out.</p><p>“Liam, that's awful. She has my DNA. I'm almost dead” moaned Zayn in total fear.</p><p>“No need to worry. It's my sample. She will not do anything with it that I don’t want. She’s just helping me” marked Liam confidently.</p><p>“Helping you with getting us killed or with your science boner?” checked Zayn knowingly.</p><p>“Geez, calm down. No one’s getting killed. I have to go now” downplayed Liam the problem and his betrayal.</p><p>“She suddenly sends you to go and get Dr Walters, a marine biologist, after you let her work on your or more like our samples. Isn't that suspicious to you?” Zayn wanted to make him think.</p><p>“You're watching too many crime series. I have to go, see you” stated Liam and hung up.</p><p>Zayn groaned in despair. For someone so smart, Liam was pretty stupid. Why didn't he see the danger? Zayn had to do something. He heard his mother downstairs shouting that she was done. He took his jacket, went down the stairs and followed his mother into the car.</p><p>On the ride, he pondered what he could do. Liam didn't see the problem and wouldn't retrieve the sample. Zayn had to do it himself. The labs were by the park, fittingly, so Zayn could mingle undetected among the people and retrieve the sample itself and then destroy it. He just had to get to the lab somehow without losing his job.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>---&gt;</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>To say he was surprised when he came home and his mother told him that Harry was waiting for him would be the understatement of the century. Louis was … he didn't know exactly what he was. Sure, Harry was always here and they did simply enjoy the time, but even when Louis came home from the game he was already there. He found it strange.</p><p>He quickly went up the stairs and opened his door. Harry was sitting on Louis' bed with his smartphone in his hand. At first, he didn't seem to notice him. Only when Louis put his bag on the ground did Harry turn to him.</p><p>“Oh hi, I was waiting for you. I hope that's okay. Oh, maybe you have something else to do. I didn't think about that. I'm just gonna go. Forget that …”.</p><p>“Harry, it's all alright. I'm glad you're here” interrupted Louis his panicky rambling.</p><p>This insecure side of Harry was still unfamiliar to Louis. When they first met, Harry was arrogant, self-loving and bursting with self-confidence. There was nothing left of it. Louis found that almost a pity. They didn't want to destroy him, just show him that there was more.</p><p>“Okay. How was um ... the game?” found Harry his voice again.</p><p>“It was just fine. We ended in a tie and now I'm tired” sighed Louis dramatically.</p><p>“Tired of standing around?” teased Harry Louis smirkingly.</p><p>“Ey, you don't have to run ten kilometres to power yourself off, Harold” he shoved him aside.</p><p>“Oh, I know” wiggled Harry his eyebrows.</p><p>“Eww, spare me the details” grimaced Louis and Harry started to laugh.</p><p>“What? No kinky experiences?” laughed Harry merrily.</p><p>“I will not tell you that” crossed Louis his arms over his chest.</p><p>“Uhh, that means yes. I knew that. Somewhere I read that gay sex can be a lot kinkier than straight sex. It's almost too bad I'll never know that for sure” Harry didn't stop.</p><p>“You're really something else. I'm here for not even five minutes and you're talking about sex. What's wrong with you?” wondered Louis amused. If he was humorous about it, he could talk about the subject almost normally. Sexual innuendos and sarcasm have always been his way out of the trauma, but that didn't work out that way completely.</p><p>“Okay, I admit it. I wanted to seduce you to tell me all the filthy details. I'm so desperate and needy that I want to imagine the craziest things in my head that I've never considered, but what am I supposed to do? I'm a guy and sex is great” exaggerated Harry tremendously. Louis threw a pillow in his face and tried not to laugh.</p><p>“Hey, that's bodily harm” laughed Harry in protest.</p><p>“And what you do is sexual coercion of the unwary” countered Louis kiddingly. But as soon as he had said the words, he thought of Kyle again. The words. His deeds. Louis should have let it happen then it would all be over by now.</p><p>“Do you feel constrained?” looked Harry at him funny.</p><p>“Never of you” tried Louis to cover his thoughts. Apparently, Harry had forgotten that they had such a moment before.</p><p>“Is that supposed to be an insult?” hooked Harry cockily.</p><p>“That's supposed to mean shut the fuck up. You're driving me crazy” pushed Louis Harry off the bed and spread out.</p><p>“Ouch. That was very unnice of you. No idea why they all call you an angel, you're more of a devil” rubbed Harry his arm and lay his head on Louis' chest. The position was already too familiar.</p><p>“You're one to talk. And by the way, unnice is not a word” huffed Louis amused. Louis certainly didn't see himself as an angel. Angels were pure beings, but Louis was dirty. He felt worn out and used. Yes, devil suited him better, because he deserved it.</p><p>After that, it was quiet between the two for a while. They simply enjoyed the moment and sank into their own thoughts. Louis tried to think of something else and finally let it rest. He couldn't always depress himself on his own.</p><p>Instead, he thought about Harry. He liked having him around, more than he wanted, but why was he always here? He had been with Louis almost every day since the incident with Aidan. At first, he had a reason but lately, he was just there. Don't get him wrong, he thought it was great. That way they built up a friendship, but it was still funny. Harry also had other friends or the other boys, his home, where he was barely anymore. He also barely hooked up with girls he didn't know. The last time was before their latest performance. That was a week ago. What was going on in his head? Why was he never home?</p><p>“Harry?” listened Louis carefully.</p><p>“Mm” hummed Harry in confirmation that he was listening. <em>Okay, here goes nothing.</em></p><p>“Tell me, why don't you ever go home? You're always here or with Niall. Don't get me wrong, I like having you here, it just surprises me” asked Louis what was on his mind.</p><p>Harry stiffened noticeably at the question. First, he didn't say anything and Louis thought he had crossed a line and thus destroyed everything. Just when he wanted to tell Harry he didn't have to answer he heard Harry starting to explain.</p><p>“I just want to be as little as possible there right now. I can't explain it, I don't understand it myself. I used to like being there. I've always boasted about it and was so proud of all the wealth, but now I want to be everywhere except there. The last few weeks have been nerve-wracking for me. I've never felt so many emotions before. I know something has changed and that's good, but it's still so unstable. I'm scared that if I'm home for too long my father will destroy everything. I want to find out who I am and what is important to me without his influence or anyone else I once knew. That's why I'm doing nothing I would have done before and take time for myself. I've done a lot wrong and just want to forget it”.</p><p>Louis had his arm around Harry and started stroking his arm lightly. “Is that why you're always afraid to ask us something or say something wrong and you hold yourself back?” inquired Louis. Harry barely nodded.</p><p>“You don't have to. We know that you're trying and we don't want more. So don't lose yourself over this. Not everything about you was bad, Haz. I would have liked to have your self-confidence. You can't change the past. It's a part of you. It's important to rebuild your past so you can enjoy the here and now. Finding yourself is not easy but seeing the past as an enemy doesn't help” told Louis him because he knew what he was talking about. He couldn't do that.</p><p>“This makes sense, it's just so hard. I don't want to lose you just because I say something stupid” confessed Harry scared.</p><p>“You always say stupid things” joked Louis to ease the tension.</p><p>“Hey, I'm serious” poked Harry Louis' ribs.</p><p>“Me too. But really, stop worrying. Just say what you feel, what you really want to say. Be yourself and don't be scared. We will not judge you, no matter what comes out of it. Even if you choose to walk around in dresses” Louis simply couldn't stay serious. Now he imagined, against his will, Harry in a dress and shit, that actually turned him on.</p><p>“I probably will not, but thank you, Louis. It's good to know you have my back. That's a first” said Harry happily.</p><p>“Sean is an idiot. He didn't deserve you. He just brought the worst out of you for his own benefit” stated Louis, knowing that was what Harry had hinted at.</p><p>“And I liked that. I liked it that way. How could I? It feels so wrong now but so right back then. And um, I miss him somehow. I know he's a bastard but he was always with me. Even though this may not have been good but we have experienced a lot together” admitted Harry meekly.</p><p>“I can understand that. Sometimes you miss someone even if that makes no sense” agreed Louis with him.</p><p>“I just want to be happy and I am when I'm with you guys. With you, Lou. I want to find my way. I have to do something for myself, make me happy” told Harry him resolutely.</p><p>“That's the spirit. It's almost the best thing you can do for yourself and all by yourself” grinned Louis dirtily.</p><p>“And I am the dirty one?” raised Harry an eyebrow.</p><p>“I am so fucking sorry that I haven't matured past the point of making everything into sexual innuendos just for the mere fun of it. It's just really freaking hard” sighed Louis dramatically.</p><p>“And you make me hard if you don't stop,” said Harry flatly.</p><p>Louis turned his head to Harry and looked down at him. “What an honour. I turn the womanizer on”.</p><p>“Don't be so sure of yourself. Dirty talk is very seductive, no matter who it is and I have one week of withdrawal through this self-discovery trip” grinned Harry nastily.</p><p>“That doesn't mean you have to give up everything. How do you want to find out who you are?” said Louis more seriously than expected.</p><p>“Are you just advising me to have sex? You? I think I'm dreaming” exclaimed Harry dramatically.</p><p>“Oh dear and gone is the innocence” rolled Louis his eyes.</p><p>“That was long gone” chuckled Harry.</p><p>“I didn't want to know that” choked Louis fakely.</p><p>“Oh, but you do. I can see it in your great eyes. You are very kinky” mocked Harry him.</p><p>Louis just looked at him confused. Did he just say great eyes? Louis must have misheard or he meant that meaninglessly. But above all, it should not trigger a tingling in him and he should suffocate the hope that he had meant it seriously before it grew. His phone vibrated to save him. He quickly grabbed it.</p><p>“Uh, the vibration was pretty strong. Do you like it rough?” joked Harry like the nasty little shit he really was.</p><p>“More than you think and you?” countered Louis unexpectedly.</p><p>“Then I should probably text you more often. If you have it deep in the pocket, the vibration could make you satisfied” tried Harry to reply coolly but failed.</p><p>“I certainly can't wait for it” winked Louis at Harry, who blushed slightly. Interesting reaction.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>From Joey:</b>
</p><p>“<em>Liam left his stuff in the lab and she's in there. Best part: He asked her for help and now she’s working on it while he gets Dr Walters. He doesn't see the problem. I find that suspicious. After work, I'll go looking for the shit if I'm still alive”.</em></p><p> </p><p>Louis read Zayn's message again and his breath caught. That couldn't be true. He could feel Zayn's fear through the screen. That's what they were afraid of. Liam was careless because he couldn't think near her. Louis felt guilty for asking his friends to give Liam what he wanted just because he wasn't sane. Now they were in danger because of him.</p><p>“Louis, what's up?” asked Harry worriedly. He silently handed him the phone and waited for Harry to read the message. “What? How could that happen?!” he exclaimed in horror.</p><p>“Liam can't think straight anymore” sighed Louis out helplessly.</p><p>“And we have to pay for it now,” said Harry angrily.</p><p>“It's my fault alone” wailed Louis disappointed in himself.</p><p>“What makes you think that?” wondered Harry bewildered.</p><p>“I said you should just give him the samples and nothing would happen. Without me, he wouldn't have DNA from us that he could have forgotten there” was Louis close to tears. Damn emotions.</p><p>“That's not your fault. We would have given it to him anyway. We couldn't have known anything like that would happen” tried Harry to make him feel less guilty.</p><p>“Zayn knew it. He guessed it, but I just ignored that. I'm so stupid” scratched Louis his wrist brutally.</p><p>Harry stopped his hand, wrapped his own around Louis' and looked him in the eye. “It's not your fault. Stop putting yourself down. Believe me if I tell you, it's not your fault. And now it's done with the blame question. We should inform Niall”.</p><p>“Yes, you're right. He is at work. Let's go” sniffled Louis lightly. Something about the way he said it worked because Louis believed Harry every word and didn't feel guilty anymore.</p><p>Both boys got up, went down, put on their shoes and made their way to the Sea Snack. Meanwhile, they didn't talk much. Both were lost in thought. Louis couldn't get this one question out of his mind though.</p><p>“If you don't want to go to your father, why don't you go to your mother? What's up with her?” blurted Louis out before he could stop himself. Harry stopped dead in his tracks and stared at the ground. After a few seconds, he went on normally.</p><p>“Nothing's up with her. She's not there, lives somewhere else, left sometime when I was little. I had more of a connection to my dad anyway” told Harry him monotonously.</p><p>“Just gone? But why?” Louis wanted to know.</p><p>“Parents break up. This is not the end of the world. You're living with only your mother, duh” snapped Harry suddenly.</p><p>“Maybe, but I know where my father would be if I wanted to see him, which is not the case. What about you?” tried Louis not to be hurt.</p><p>“I don't know where she is. She just left one morning with my sister. My dad never said anything to anyone and nobody else knew stuff” mumbled Harry.</p><p>“And you don't think that's weird?” inquired Louis astounded.</p><p>“Why should I?” shrugged Harry nonchalantly.</p><p>“Don't get mad, but your dad doesn't seem to be very nice. Very manipulative and evil even. Don't you think he's keeping something about your mother from you? Do you really think she just ran away without saying goodbye? Doesn't sound like the woman Zayn told us about” told Louis him.</p><p>“He has told you about her?” wondered Harry surprised.</p><p>“Yes, when he talked about your former friendship. He described her as nice, honest and caring. And he also said that she always wanted you to be a good person but she could do nothing. I think there's more to it. Do you really believe she just left with only your sister on her own?” informed Louis him thoughtfully.</p><p>“Mh, you could be right” confessed Harry as they arrived at the café. Louis saw the doubt in Harry's face clearly.</p><p>Inside they told Niall everything as soon as possible and he panicked right away. But they decided to trust Zayn and confront Liam tonight after he tried to get the stuff back.</p><p>“Until then we can still hangout” proposed Niall when he was finished.</p><p>“Love to. We could go to yours. We just came from Louis', so w ...”</p><p>“No. That's impossible. It's too full today” cut Niall Harry off.</p><p>“Again? Niall, that can't be. Slowly I'm thinking you don't want us to know where you live. What's so bad about that?” became Harry sceptical.</p><p>“If he says it doesn't work, it doesn't work” supported Louis Niall automatically.</p><p>“You know where he lives. You know it and don't say anything. I'm the only one again” realized Harry disappointed.</p><p>“Harry, it's not ...”.</p><p>“I understand. I'm not trusted. I'm not worth it” Harry didn't let Louis speak.</p><p>“Please, try to understand us. Trust can't be controlled. It has been destroyed and building takes longer than breaking it” tried Louis to make him understand desperately.</p><p>“But that's weeks ago” Harry simply didn't see it.</p><p>“Might be. But, as Louis said, we can't control that even if we want to. Trust comes with time and eventually we will be able to trust you again, maybe even sooner than we think right now. Anything can cause that, but any situation can show that it's not working yet, just like right now. Give us time, Harry. We're giving it to you” showed Niall him what it looked like inside of them.</p><p>“I have no choice, I guess” sighed Harry without understanding.</p><p>“We don't mean bad, but we can't change it” noted Louis softly.</p><p>“Louis is right. That doesn't mean that we don't like being with you. And now enough drama. Let's have fun before the soundcheck” clapped Niall into his hands and Harry and Louis followed him outside.</p><p>Louis had to admit that Harry didn't know much. He knew nothing of Zayn's crush, Niall's living conditions or Louis' past. But trust was a tricky business. It took less than a second to completely destroy it, but sometimes it took years to get it back. Harry just had to understand that. Louis didn't like the pain in Harry's eyes, but it was only when he would finally understand it that it could get better. But Louis had a good feeling about it. They were close to a big step. He could sense it.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>---&gt;</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>With each passing second, Zayn became more nervous. Time just didn't pass. Every second could be too late. This woman could have already unmasked them and his life could be over in a second. Zayn felt his hands starting to tremble again. Fearfully, he tried to calm down so as not to get another panic attack like this morning. When a little boy bought a stuffed dolphin, Zayn nearly dropped it because he was shaking so much. That couldn't go on like this. He had to do something about it. This was the worst.</p><p>“Hi, Zayn. Is something wrong?” came Kida towards him.</p><p>“Just a bit nervous” answered Zayn trembling.</p><p>“Zayn, I can see you're not okay. Sit down. I'll take over for a while and you can tell me what's wrong. Maybe I can help you” took Kida his place.</p><p>“You remember my friend Liam?” asked Zayn as he sat down.</p><p>“Of course, I do. What's the matter with him?” started Kida working for Zayn.</p><p>“As you know, he started working in the park next door and right now is closely involved with that scientist's group around Dr Baker and Dr Walters. So much that he ignores his actual work. He is careless at the moment and trusts them blindly but I have a bad feeling about all of them. Do you know anything about them? You work here longer” told Zayn her honestly.</p><p>“I know some stuff but there's no evidence at all, so I can't say much without getting us into trouble. Just know, you're right with your feeling. There is something fishy about them and they know more than they want all of us to know. Zayn, whatever your friend is doing you have to stop him. She can be very manipulative and convince people even though she is wrong. Always trust your feeling. Especially you, Zayn” let Kida him know.</p><p>That information didn't help his worry but he didn't ask more questions. He knew if she could tell him more she would. Now he knew for sure he was right and he needed to stop Liam from doing something extremely stupid.</p><p>When his shift was over, he closed off the souvenir shop and then went to get his things. He took off the uniform and then left the room. He entered and crossed the park as fast as he could until he reached the main building with offices and laboratories. He stopped in front of it and took a deep breath. He had to come to their lab undetected and hoped she wasn't around.</p><p>With a throbbing heart, he went inside. Carefully, he looked around but no one was to be seen. In his mind, he already considered an excuse, if anyone saw him, why he was still there. After all, he was not forbidden to be here, only the labs were taboo.</p><p>Quickly, he searched the labs and when he was there he was looking for number 5, their lab. Just before the end of the hall, he found the door with the big black five on it. He put an ear to the door to listen. The room was dead quiet. Nobody was inside.</p><p>Trembling, he gripped the door handle and pushed it down. Noiselessly the door opened, which meant that she had just been in here and probably came back soon. He quickly closed the door again and headed for the lab tables. On them stood microscopes, strange devices that Zayn couldn't name and countless test tubes. The sight made him feel sick. Soon his DNA could be in there.</p><p>He suppressed the thought and scanned the microscopes because Liam had the sample on it, Zayn had recognized the noise. But all slides were empty. He also searched all the cabinets accessible to him with as little noise as possible, but even there he couldn't find the sample but at least Liam's documents. Sighing, he looked around and scanned the room. Where could that freaking sample be?</p><p>Absent-mindedly, he ran his fingers over the tabletop and broke his head due to too much thinking. Suddenly, he touched the PC on the table and the screen jumped on. Surprised, Zayn took a step back. He didn't want to read it but the large letters in the headline caught his attention.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Magical Creatures by Dr Alfred Walters, Dr Caroline Baker and Liam Payne</b>
</p><p> </p><p>He stepped closer and scrolled through the typed report. It seemed to have been written today and the last change was ten minutes ago, just before Zayn had arrived. He scanned the words and felt himself getting dizzy. They had full copies of Liam's documents. Everything was there and even more. Words and words about magical happenings around the world, specifically in America. They burnt his cornea like a tattoo. Like a reminder of how his life ended.</p><p>These terrible people had written a complete report of Liam's stuff and Liam himself had helped them. They had curiously and unbothered experimented around with all of Liam’s stuff. They were on the trail because they had the boys’ DNA and all of Liam's notes.</p><p>This fact immediately struck his head and he began to stumble. He quickly clawed at the edge of the table. He couldn't afford to get an attack here and now. With a blurry vision, he scrolled back to the beginning of the document and searched for the delete function. With these special science PCs, it was more hidden so it couldn't accidentally get deleted.</p><p>Just when he had found it, the door opened. Startled, Zayn jumped back from the PC and stared at the door. To his relief, Dr Baker wasn't standing in the door frame but his boss Paul with a key in his hand.</p><p>“Oh God, Paul. You scared me” exhaled Zayn with relief. His heart was beating up to his neck.</p><p>“Sorry, I didn't know anyone was here. What are you doing here, Zayn? You shouldn't be here” asked Paul in confusion.</p><p>“I was looking for Liam. I thought he might be here and you?” countered Zayn skilfully.</p><p>“Same reason, but I'm supposed to find Liam for Dr Walters. He's asking for him. So you don't know where he is?!” he explained to Zayn, who simply shook his head. “Then we should probably leave the room”.</p><p>Sighing, Zayn followed him and watched as he locked the door. The report was still open on the table. Zayn had failed.</p><p>“See you then, Zayn” waved Paul goodbye to him.</p><p>“Bye” waved Zayn back and pulled out his phone.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>From Zaddy:</b>
</p><p>“<em>The sample is untraceable, but they have written a complete report. I'm looking for Liam to finish it, wish me luck”.</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <b>From Tommo:</b>
</p><p>“<em>Hopefully you can persuade him, we'll see you before the show”.</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <b>From Harry:</b>
</p><p>“<em>Good luck, only you can do it”.</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <b>From Nialler:</b>
</p><p>“<em>He only listens to you. I keep my fingers crossed, otherwise we'll soon be fish food”.</em></p><p> </p><p>Niall's reply actually made Zayn laugh. Niall always made a stupid joke out of brutal situations, but that's what they needed to keep their heads open and don't lose their minds. Sometimes he wondered if there was more to that overly happy behaviour of Niall. Like a sad side.</p><p>Zayn went down the hall and looked for Liam everywhere. He had to find him before they could do even more damage. As he passed a small room, he stopped abruptly. He heard her voice and to his horror, she was speaking to Liam.</p><p>“Liam, you're a good worker, the best I've ever had. Your diligence and your thirst for knowledge make you special. You appreciate a good discovery and you recognize extraordinary things with the naked eye” she praised him in the highest tones. Zayn had to choke and stood in a corner so no one saw him listening.</p><p>“Wow, thanks. It's an honour to hear that from you. I just do what I love” said Liam thank you to her completely starstruck.</p><p>“I want to be honest with you. You're really special to me, Li. It's not just about your work or your impressing documents we talked about. It's you in general. I know I can always count on you. Even when I asked you about the documents. You told me the truth, right?” she revealed to Liam. Now Zayn was listening. Liam had betrayed them already. Could it get worse?</p><p>“Of course. Umm ... I told you everything I know” lied Liam, but Zayn knew that tone. Liam had hesitated. He had already told her presumably everything apart from their names and he didn't sound determined at all. The chance was given that he would give in soon and hand them over without a second thought or any regret.</p><p>“What a blessing. I knew you wouldn't lie to me, no matter what this is about” she pretended to believe him, but every stupid guy could hear that she was just pretending something to him. Apparently not Liam.</p><p>“Thanks. I should go now though” Liam wanted to go, sounding sad.</p><p>“One more second. We haven’t talked about your suggestion” she held him back. What suggestion was she talking about?</p><p>“Oh, you know about it already?” asked Liam curiously.</p><p>“Of course. Alfred told me about it immediately. At first, he wasn’t too keen on taking you with us to America for our next studies” she began to explain.</p><p>“At first? Means he changed his mind?” checked Liam hopefully.</p><p>“Yes, he did. I knocked some sense into him and convinced him to agree. Personally, I think this is a great idea. Thanks to you we made big progress in our original studies and it’s your merit we can keep working on them now. You have done so much for us and I made that clear to him. And I’m here now to officially offer you to accompany us on our trip to America“ she lay the cards open on the table.</p><p>“Wow, I don't know what to say” stammered Liam overwhelmed.</p><p>“Just say yes. It was your idea after all” she suggested.</p><p>“Yeah. Well, I talked to the school already and they’re okay with it as long as I continue to be taught in some way and um …”.</p><p>“That’s not a problem. We can hire a private teacher for you for the time being. Don’t worry about it. You’re a genius, Liam. But you still have to ask your parents, though I think this won't be a problem. So what do you say?” she took away any counter-arguments and Zayn could hear how she walked closer to Liam.</p><p>“Of course, how could I say no. I wanted to come with you so badly. Thank you very much for giving me this opportunity” accepted Liam his own offer without hesitation. Zayn couldn't believe it.</p><p>“Great. I am looking forward to our cooperation. I'm sure we're going to be the perfect team” Zayn could hear her grin through the door. That was her only intention.</p><p>“Yeah, maybe” agreed Liam starstruck.</p><p>“But there is still one thing. We talked about this earlier when we worked on your stuff and the report. Did you find another sample for us?” approached Dr Baker Liam and Zayn didn't trust his ears. Zayn felt the need to cry.</p><p>“I did” was Liam's short answer and that was all Zayn needed to lose all hope.</p><p>“Can you give it to me?” asked Dr Baker in a flirty whisper.</p><p>“Sure. Here” said Liam in an unsteady voice. “But be care …”.</p><p>Liam's words were interrupted and he fell silent. The next second Zayn could hear sounds he wished to never hear again in his whole life. He didn't need to see it. Those sounds could only be caused by kissing roughly. Dr Baker was kissing Liam and he didn't stop her. Everything about this was wrong.</p><p>That was too much for Zayn to handle right now after everything he had heard. Zayn gasped and ran outside. The cool evening air slapped his face. But it didn't help him one bit. His entire world was crumbling at his feet. Not only had Liam agreed to work with the enemy. No, he was going to leave them too and it was his own freaking idea. He will leave Zayn. He will be away with her. Zayn didn't want to imagine what could happen. And not to imagine what will come afterwards. Maybe he never came back because he was showered with new offers all around the world.</p><p>Zayn literally ran to the Sea Snack. He needed a clear mind, but it was only Liam on his mind. He would leave him tomorrow. Not even one whole day anymore and then the love of his life was gone forever. Now he had really lost him. That could only be a great performance tonight. Was probably the last one for them in many different ways.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. 21.1 Vote Of Confidence *</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Here's your all trigger warning.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>No one in the audience noticed the obvious tension between the guys, but there was no denying it. They started the gig with <em>More</em>. There was the inseparable trio in the middle and one lonely son by each side. Harry demarcated himself from them. Even though it didn't look that way from the outside, he was deep in thought.</p><p>On the other side, stood Liam and was deliberately ignored by the others. Not only was he late again for no reason, but he also didn't say a word to them either. No hello, no word about the offer or about the samples. The betrayal. Nothing. To say they were disappointed didn't quite feel like it.</p><p>Zayn's eyes fell on his mother, who was sitting in the audience tonight. She looked at him worriedly. She realized that something was wrong. Zayn gave her a forced smile and then looked away. As promised, she had come and especially today where everything was falling apart. But it was good because it could be the last time. They all knew that.</p><p>Next, they sang <em>Just Words</em>, but they didn't get the usual joy. They tried to cover it up as good as possible and it seemed to work out. Around the second refrain, Zayn saw Sean and Ethan in the doorway. He glanced directly at Harry, who didn't seem to notice the duo. He was too absent-minded. Zayn wondered what he was thinking about. Was it the case with Liam or more than that? He hadn't had it easy lately, Zayn knew that. He also didn't miss how Harry looked at Louis again and again. Quite inconspicuous, of course.</p><p>The next song was <em>Simple Moments</em>. The light was dimmed and the first notes sounded. Zayn focused on a spot on the wall instead of looking at Liam, which was particularly hard in this song.</p><p>When Louis sang, Zayn looked at him, but he wasn't the only one. Harry watched him with that indefinable look. Zayn had watched this many times before, and as always, Harry didn't realize he was doing that. As if he was in a trance state or his subconscious would control him.</p><p>When Harry sang, Louis looked at him too. Zayn cleared his throat softly to get his attention. Louis looked at him and he knew immediately that Zayn had seen him. Zayn gave him a questioning look but Louis only shrugged and looked at the floor. Really strange.</p><p>They finished the gig with <em>In The Moonlight</em>. This time, Louis' voice trembled slightly in the beginning, no wonder with the stress, and immediately Harry was at his side, laying a hand on his back. That seemed to calm him down because the trembling stopped directly. Zayn frowned at the sight. He was glad that Louis was calmer now, but it totally confused him. So much that he almost forgot to sing himself. Niall next to him looked more depressed than usual. He barely hopped across the stage and didn't laugh. What was wrong with the otherwise happy goblin?</p><p>The concern for his friends ate Zayn inwardly and he felt like he started to shake again. He quickly fixed his eyes on his mother, which immediately calmed him down. Her presence was good for him. Her support was very important to him and he appreciated nothing more than that. Louis' mother was sitting next to her. It was nice to see how well their mothers got along with each other. Liam's parents were on business once again and Harry's ... well, that's complicated.</p><p>After the gig, they went backstage and sat silently side by side for a while. From the stage, they heard Maya sing. She was really good but couldn’t blend out the dead silence in the room. Gradually, Zayn was tired of it. They had to talk about it.</p><p>“Do we want to continue playing silent monks now or are we finally talking?” exploded Zayn.</p><p>“I don't know about what” replied Liam indifferent.</p><p>“Oh, I don't know. Do you know that scientists have our DNA and you willingly gave it to them?!” shot Zayn at him.</p><p>“I don't see the problem. We wanted to explore it” waved Liam it off.</p><p>“Are you serious?” got Zayn madder and very angry.</p><p>“Liam, that's not okay. We entrusted that to you, not her or anyone else” said Niall madly.</p><p>“Where is the big difference?” Liam didn't understand the problem.</p><p>“If they find out what that really is, do you really think they let us live normally?” asked Louis him.</p><p>“You are not living normally already” countered Liam flatly.</p><p>“That's not the point” despaired Louis, tearing his hair.</p><p>“For someone who is that smart, you're pretty hard of the gut” snorted Niall.</p><p>“Just because you don't understand that. She's great, a fascinating woman. She's devoted to science and ...”.</p><p>“Oh my god. You have a crush on her!” exclaimed Niall horrified.</p><p>“Stop talking such a crap. I love her work” denied Liam everything, just making it worse.</p><p>“One thing doesn't exclude the other” noted Niall knowingly.</p><p>“Liam, you wrote a complete report on the sample, which wasn't your right” returned Zayn to the topic. He tried to forget that he heard them kiss and the thought of what might have happened afterwards.</p><p>“She just tries to understand it with me” defended Liam her and their antics.</p><p>“That's none of her business” stated Zayn strongly.</p><p>“Delete it” ordered Harry him.</p><p>“Why should I?” asked Liam coolly.</p><p>“That's our secret, our decision. Not yours. Not hers” explained Louis in despair.</p><p>“Don't act like toddlers” rolled Liam his eyes.</p><p>“It's our damn DNA, Liam! It's not your right to decide just because you fucking sucked off her face and smashed her!” shouted Zayn at him.</p><p>“Zayn,” said Louis quietly, putting his hands on his shoulders. He was trembling all over and he became dizzy. He let Louis put him on the chair and looked at him thankfully.</p><p>“When did you actually plan to tell us that you're leaving us?” asked Niall disappointed.</p><p>“How do you know that?” wondered Liam sceptically.</p><p>“I told them. Thought it wasn't a secret” breathed Zayn heavily.</p><p>“Are you stalking me now?” grew Liam louder.</p><p>“You were hard to miss” snorted Zayn irked.</p><p>“That sounds wrong” chuckled Niall nastily.</p><p>“It was wrong,” said Zayn plainly.</p><p>“If you already know, why should I say something?” crossed Liam his arms.</p><p>“I'm so done with telling you everything. If you don't understand then that's just it” sighed Zayn defeated.</p><p>“I'm sorry that I can't read your mind” huffed Liam.</p><p>“So you're leaving tomorrow?” asked Harry, though he knew the answer.</p><p>“Of course,” said Liam confidently.</p><p>“Would you have said goodbye?” Harry wanted to know.</p><p>“Why shouldn't I?”.</p><p>“At least something” muttered Harry.</p><p>“This is a great opportunity for me. You have to understand that” he implored them.</p><p>“We do. We just wish you had said something and it was for the right reasons, but what the hell” admitted Niall defeated.</p><p>“Right reasons?” checked Liam alarmed.</p><p>“She is just using you; she doesn't mean it honestly. When she has what she wants she will send you back” revealed Louis to him.</p><p>“Just because you have trust issues you don't have to make everything bad for me. Not everybody is like him, not everybody exploits you. You don't mess with me. I'm leaving” defended Liam himself and Zayn pulled Louis closer protectively, who buried his head in his chest.</p><p>“Liam, what's that all about? Do you have to hurt every one of us before you leave?” glared Zayn at him.</p><p>“Don't be like that. You're just jealous. I'm not Harry. I'm not going to expose you all with your secrets. I'm dignified” mocked Liam the boys.</p><p>“Looks like it. Just go, have fun with her. Don't come back crying when she does exactly what we said” spat Zayn, deeply hurt.</p><p>Louis patted Harry's knee with his hand to signal that they didn't think like Liam. In response, Harry put his hand on Louis' hand and squeezed it.</p><p>“Liam, delete the report and wait if they still want you then” demanded Niall.</p><p>“Forget it. I'm leaving” refused Liam and left the room.</p><p>“That was great” sighed Niall out.</p><p>“What do we do now?” asked Harry helplessly.</p><p>“I have no idea but we have to get this report. Otherwise, this is our end” said Zayn desperately.</p><p>With drooping heads, they all went home. At noon tomorrow at twelve, Liam would go and the report and the samples with him. It was a race against time.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>---&gt;</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>His clothes were spread on the floor and the room was dark. Louis had his head on his pillow and felt a warm big hand stroking down his back. At his bum appeared someone, who played with his boxers. He lifted his hips slightly so that the boxers could be better taken off. Hot breathing was felt over his bum, causing him to shudder. Plump lips pressed a kiss on his ass cheek.</p><p>“Beautiful” whispered Harry against it. His voice caused indescribable feelings inside of Louis.</p><p>“Haz please, do something” implored Louis him.</p><p>“What do you want, Lou?” asked Harry seductively, leaning against his ear.</p><p>Louis easily turned his head towards him and looked into his beautiful green eyes, which were a bit darker than usual. An idea popped up in his head and he smirked at Harry. “Are you hungry?”.</p><p>At first, Harry looked at him in surprise but then his eyes were almost completely black and lust-filled. “Very kinky” smirked Harry.</p><p>“You like that” laughed Louis temptingly.</p><p>“You know me too well, Lou” mumbled Harry.</p><p>Slowly, he crawled back to the end of the bed and let his hands wander over Louis' sides until he cupped Louis' great arse and massaged it slightly. “And you say I'm the tease” complained Louis impatiently.</p><p>“Just be patient, Lou” chuckled Harry, but could hardly wait for it himself.</p><p>He pressed two more open-mouthed kisses on Louis' ass cheeks and then approached his hole. Louis raised his arse so that he leaned on his knees and his arse was in the air and Harry had better access. Harry drew small patterns on Louis' bum, causing him to shiver under his touch.</p><p>“Spread your legs a little, Love” whispered Harry close to Louis' arse cheek. His hot breath was fanning over his bum. Slowly, he spread his legs a little, still not used to any of these touches. He had Goosebumps everywhere.</p><p>“Oh my fucking god!” cried Louis out and bucked his hips up even more as Harry spread Louis' cheeks and licked lightly just above his tight hole.</p><p>“Language” chuckled Harry into Louis' bum. This vibration made Louis feel like he was flying.</p><p>“Please, Haz” pleaded Louis full of pleasure.</p><p>As Louis wanted, Harry licked on Louis' entrance. Slowly, he kitten licked on Louis' bum and then went round and round in circles on Louis' rim while squeezing Louis' perfect bum with his strong and big hands. Louis' soft whimpers were all he was able to bring out. The feeling of Harry so close to him was overwhelming.</p><p>Lightly, Harry nipped with his teeth at the rim, licked and twirled his tongue around. Under his touch, Louis squirmed a bit. He let out moans of pleasure due to the tingling feeling in his stomach. Finally, Harry pressed his tongue slightly into Louis' hole and buried his face in between his cheeks. Harry's sinful moans were heard as he slid his tongue in and out of Louis' body, his tongue fucking Louis roughly.</p><p>“Oh fuck ... more, Haz” whined Louis as Harry's tongue twirled around inside of his bum.</p><p>The feeling of Harry's wet tongue so dirty inside of him made him feel amazing. He enjoyed the vibrating sensation of Harry's moans he felt every time he buried his face in Louis' cheeks. He wanted to be fucked by Harry's tongue into oblivion.</p><p>Eventually, Louis was trembling from the pleasure that was over rolling him but he tried very hard to keep his knees from breaking in. Harry didn't seem to mind as he was continuing to eat Louis out. Louis loved the feeling of his tight hole around Harry's tongue. His fingers were digging deep into Louis' cheeks while he got rougher. Harry's one hand wandered from his cheek around onto Louis' dick. He grabbed it closely and started palming Louis while eating him out. Louis was so close but didn't want it to end.</p><p>Suddenly the door slammed open and Harry was roughly shoved away from Louis. Immediately, he felt cold and empty. Louis wanted to turn around and stand up but cold strong hands pinned him back on the bed. He turned his head slightly to see who was keeping him in place and was frozen in horror when he saw that face.</p><p>“Tzz, Tzz. You little bitch. No one is allowed to touch you as long as I am not finished with you. Playing all innocent but letting everybody touch and fuck you after a second except for me. That's not nice. Good for you I'm here now. I will wreck you completely” laughed Kyle evilly, causing Louis to shiver heavily.</p><p>“Please don't” pleaded Louis with tears in his eyes.</p><p>“You little worthless piece of shit. Be glad someone is actually paying attention to you for once. I'm gonna fuck you half-dead because he failed to do it in time. After that, I leave you alone so you can go cry in the bathroom and finally end yourself” threatened Kyle. He slapped Louis' bum hard, making Louis flinch and yelp in pain.</p><p>Harry was lying unconscious on the ground; he couldn't help him now. Louis tried to wiggle out of Kyle's tight grip but it was impossible. The tears fell down his face and his sobs were muffled by the pillow. This time there was no way out. Kyle grabbed him by his waist and pulled him closer, his naked hard cock touching Louis' bare bum. He lined himself up, while Louis closed his eyes, and shoved his big cock dry and hard inside of Louis.</p><p> </p><p>“AHHHHHHHH” screamed Louis as he woke up, sitting up straight in bed, tears on his face and panting heavily.</p><p>He looked around his room and realized he was alone. No Kyle. No Harry. He wiped the tears from his face and tried to normalize his breathing. That was cruel. Not only had he dreamt of Harry again, but Kyle was also back and finished it this time. Louis felt awful.</p><p>He could feel <em>his</em> cock on his bum even though he wasn't really there. He was still haunting him in his dreams and it got worse each time. That way Louis would never allow anyone to get near his bottom. Always, someone wanted to violently grope his butt or push his cock inside of him. No, no one was allowed to touch him again. He couldn't enjoy that one bit. Never again. Not even in his dreams.</p><p>Regardless of the bad part of the dream, Louis had to admit something. He had dreamt the part with Harry not without a reason. That wasn't the first time. He knew what that meant. Sure, he was definitely one hundred per cent sexually frustrated and horny.</p><p>In addition, unfortunately, he couldn't deny that the worst-case had occurred. The dream had shown him how much he wanted it. It was back. He has, again or still, an undeniable crush on Harry. That's exactly what shouldn't have happened. Fuck it.</p><p>Desperate, he dropped back onto his bed. With this knowledge and the dream pictures, he couldn't sleep anymore. Of course, he always had to like someone he couldn't have. Why like a nice jolly gay guy, if you can like a tough handsome straight guy? Love hated him.</p><p>Suddenly, his cell phone rang. He rolled over and picked it up. It was Zayn. “What's up?”.</p><p>Louis hardly understood a word as fast and panicky as Zayn talked, but he knew that it was about the samples. Had to be about time.</p><p>“Okay Zayn, calm down. Breathe deeply, try not to panic. Don't get an attack without me by your side, not before I'm there” tried Louis to reassure him.</p><p>Ever since he had learned of Zayn's panic attacks yesterday, he was worried about him. You didn't just get something like that for no reason. Zayn was too worried about them all, forgetting himself in the process. Then came this stupid woman and the DNA sample into the picture additionally. It was to despair.</p><p>“Got it. I'll get there, see you soon” ended Louis the call and jumped up immediately.</p><p>He put on new boxers, tight skinny jeans and a black tank top. Then he ran down to put on his shoes and denim jacket, ruffled his messy hair, put on a beanie and ran to the meeting point.</p><p>Panting and gasping for breath, Louis arrived there and Zayn was already waiting for him. “There you are, you look terrible”.</p><p>“I'm glad to see you too” replied Louis sassily</p><p>“Everything okay?” looked Zayn at him worriedly.</p><p>“Out of breath” gasped Louis, but Zayn didn't believe him. “Nightmare, nothing important. Let's go in. Where's Harry?” waved Louis it off. They could talk about it later. Now they had more important things to do.</p><p>“I could strangely not reach him. Niall is already waiting at the main building. Just a few people are here on Sundays” told Zayn him. Together they walked over to Niall.</p><p>“You just don't get in there unseen. All of their stuff gets loaded” reported Niall helplessly.</p><p>“And what are we gonna do now?” asked Louis in panic.</p><p>Suddenly, they heard loud voices coming out of a window that was ajar. Curious, they moved closer and ducked underneath it.</p><p>“How can that be, Richard? Five minutes ago everything was still there” a woman stirred.</p><p>“That's her. That's her voice” whispered Zayn. Louis understood immediately. It was Dr Baker. But what upset her?</p><p>“I don't know. I brought only a few boxes to the ship and when I came back everything was gone” said this Richard guy.</p><p>“But a report cannot delete itself and samples cannot leave the room alone” she snapped.</p><p>“I can't explain it either, but you can redo it”.</p><p>“No you idiot, this data was unique. Only he knows where it came from and he won't tell me. That’s for sure. It was all in vain. Pack it all away. The ship is waiting” she yelled through the room sourly. After everything he heard, Louis suspected that someone had deleted the report on their DNA and the sample was gone. Had Liam come to his senses and deleted everything?</p><p>A door slammed in the distance and they jumped. This was their sign to leave. When they wanted to go back to the exit, Louis' beanie flew away. It landed on the floor directly in front of the main building. He quickly picked it up, patted it clean and pulled it back on. Before he could turn around someone sneaked out of the building with a big grin on his face and a little glass container in his hand. To his surprise, it was Harry.</p><p>“Harry?” brought Louis out in confusion.</p><p>“No time for explanations” mumbled Harry, grabbing Louis' hand and dragged him with him.</p><p>They ran to the exit, where Zayn and Niall were waiting. “Harry ... what ...?”</p><p>“We have to get out of here” cut Harry Zayn off, pulling Louis still with him until they reached a bench by the water. Breathing heavily, Louis stopped and Harry released his hand. It was cold now.</p><p>“What's this all about? Explanation, please” gasped Zayn in confusion.</p><p>“Here, Zayn,” said Harry as he threw the little glass container over to him.</p><p>Clumsily, Zayn caught it and stared at it. “Is this …?”. Harry just nodded.</p><p>“Harry, did you really bring the samples back and erased the report?” asked Louis overwhelmed. Again, Harry nodded sheepishly. “Unbelievable, you saved our asses ... I um ... wow, thanks”.</p><p>“One second. How did you get in there?” Niall wanted to know curiously.</p><p>“I knew someone from old times who works for them now. Can be very helpful” expounded Harry sheepishly.</p><p>“That means you crept in, deleted the report, stole the samples and then sneaked out without being noticed?” asked Niall stunned.</p><p>Again, Harry only nodded and Louis wondered why he didn't answer in words. Was he afraid he did something wrong? He had just saved them all. He could be proud of that.</p><p>“You're a fucking ninja” grinned Niall enthusiastically.</p><p>“Wow thank you, Harry. I'm speechless” thanked Zayn him.</p><p>“Not for that. Was nothing special” said Harry modestly.</p><p>“But it was. Admittedly, I didn't expect that. You surprised me, Harry. I want to apologize for mistrusting you” held Zayn his hand out to Harry.</p><p>“You don't have to. You had every reason to do so. All of you. And I just hope one day I can prove to you that you can truly trust me” took Harry Zayn's hand.</p><p>“This day is today” smiled Niall, placing his hand on Zayn's and Harry's.</p><p>Louis was overjoyed. He couldn't describe that feeling at all. Harry had saved them all and proved without intending how trusting he had become. They could rely on him and he had finally understood what stood in the way of this. He really seemed to get better.</p><p>Instead of putting his hand on theirs, Louis fell into his arms and hugged him tightly. At that moment, he knew no fear of contact. At first, Harry was surprised but then he wrapped his arms around Louis' small body as well, pulling him even closer. Louis had closed his eyes; his chin was resting on Harry's shoulder and he was holding him tight as if his life depended on it. Harry had wrapped his whole arms around Louis while he squeezed his cheeks between his neck and shoulder with his eyes closed and buried his face into it. There was no room left between them.</p><p>Louis felt Zayn and Niall join in the embrace and all huddled together, but Louis smelt and felt only Harry. He felt Harry's fast-beating heartbeat and hoped Harry wouldn't feel his own. When Zayn and Niall let go, Harry and Louis were still stuck. Nobody wanted that moment to end. After a few seconds, they finally let go and looked deep into each other's eyes. Both couldn't suppress their smile.</p><p>Louis had to get these stupid feelings urgently under control so he didn't ruin this great friendship. Harry was important to him and their time together was precious. He didn't want to lose that just because he was so stupid and had a crush on his straight friend. Harry would always be that. Louis really needed Zayn's help to prevent him from doing something stupid.</p><p>“Do you think Liam has big problems now?” asked Niall suddenly.</p><p>“Why should we care? He didn't want to listen. We asked him to do the right thing but he didn't want to” snorted Zayn visibly hurt and disappointed by his best friend.</p><p>“Do you think they'll squeeze him out now to find out more and get a new sample?” sounded Niall panicky.</p><p>“Okay, that's possible but Liam will not tell her” tried Harry to sound confident.</p><p>“I wouldn't be so sure about that” sighed Zayn disappointedly.</p><p>“Let's go down to the harbour and say goodbye” suggested Louis.</p><p>“To him? Without me” crossed Zayn his arms sulkily in front of his chest.</p><p>“You'll regret it if you just let him go. He's your best friend” told Louis him calmly.</p><p>Zayn tried to stay strong but gave in after a few seconds. “Alright, even if he doesn't deserve it”.</p><p>And so they quickly made their way to the harbour. It was close to noon and they didn't want to miss Liam. Sure, they were angry and disappointed, but in the end, he had been their friend.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0019"><h2>19. 21.2 Waving At The Old Times *</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Triggers are not over yet.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>When they arrived at the harbour, the ship was already far away. Downcast, they looked after the ship. Liam was gone and they couldn't even say goodbye.</p><p>“He's gone” complained Niall disappointedly.</p><p>“We're too late” sighed Louis sadly.</p><p>“It's going to be okay, Buttercup” put Harry an arm around Louis, sniffling.</p><p>“Just gone” cried Zayn softly and sank to the ground. He stared longingly at the sea. His breath hitched and a lump formed in his throat. He had problems breathing.</p><p>Louis quickly broke free from Harry's arm and knelt down to Zayn. “Shhh Zayn, look at me, just me. Take a deep breath”.</p><p>“What's wrong with him? I mean, Liam's gone, but he looks like he's about to fall over” expressed Niall his great concern.</p><p>Louis first looked at Zayn, who nodded to him before answering. “Possible that Zayn kinda gets panic attacks, since newest”.</p><p>“What? Since when? Why do I not know that?” panicked Niall immediately.</p><p>“Since yesterday” answered Louis curtly.</p><p>“And how do you know that?” wondered Niall perplexed.</p><p>“He told me,” said Louis as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.</p><p>“Oh sure, just in between the drama” snorted Niall.</p><p>“Actually, yes” confirmed Louis as he tried to calm Zayn further. “And don't worry. He didn't mean to keep it from you. There was no opportunity to talk about something that important. And it takes a lot to overcome weaknesses so quickly, or at all”.</p><p>“Love you, but I don't feel excluded. I know that he always tells you everything first. Besides, it was only yesterday. When did you even have the time?” assured Niall him unchanged but grateful.</p><p>“On the way home after the gig. Before that, I noticed the trembling and the hitching breaths and I wanted to address him later, but then he mentioned it himself. I think I can calm him down quite well” informed Louis him thoughtfully.</p><p>“Why do you always notice something like that? I'd like to be so attentive” pouted Niall weirdly.</p><p>“Believe me, I know all about psychosis,” said Louis with a forced smile. “Is it okay again, Joey?”.</p><p>“I think so” he whispered cautiously and stood up slowly. His hands were still shaking. “Thank you”.</p><p>“No reason to blush. Everyone has their pack to carry” smiled Harry unexpectedly at him.</p><p>“There is something true about it” agreed Niall with him.</p><p>“He's really gone” looked Zayn out to the sea in pure sadness.</p><p>“Hopefully he has the time of his life” murmured Niall sadly.</p><p>“Probably not” sounded Liam's voice behind them.</p><p>Startled and surprised, they turned around and spotted Liam standing in front of them.</p><p>“Liam, what are you doing here? Shouldn't you be on the ship?” looked Harry at him crookedly.</p><p>“Did you decide against it?” asked Niall more hopeful than he wanted.</p><p>“You'd like that” glared Liam at them.</p><p>“What do you mean by that?” Louis didn't quite understand.</p><p>“I was ready to go but my parents didn't let me. They said someone told them fishy stuff about Dr Baker and Dr Walters and they were unsure if it would be a good idea to let me go while they’re gone before getting to know them personally beforehand. Now I'm stuck here and that's your fault alone” explained Liam visibly angry.</p><p>“Why is that our fault?” asked Niall hurt.</p><p>“I know for sure that you've deleted the report and stole the sample and talked to my parents about them. No one except for you ever said anything bad about my people. You messed me up. How could you do that?” Liam almost screamed the last words at their faces. The boys were taken back by this outburst.</p><p>“I'm sorry we've been trying to save our safety” rolled Zayn his eyes in annoyance. Louis had a reassuring hand on his back.</p><p>“I'm the most disappointed in you, Zayn,” told Liam him icily.</p><p>“Believe me, so am I,” said Zayn sadly.</p><p>“Are you at least so free and tell me who it was or was it all of you?” ignored Liam Zayn's condition completely.</p><p>“We will not simply expose and hand over anyone” stated Louis defensively.</p><p>“So it was just one” concluded Liam logically.</p><p>“Why is that so important? Can you not j …”.</p><p>“Let it be, Lou. It was me, Liam. Me alone” interrupted Harry Louis, referring to the report, and couldn't meet Liam's eyes.</p><p>“Didn't you destroy my life enough already?” snapped Liam harshly at Harry.</p><p>“I'm sorry” apologized Harry meekly.</p><p>“You should be! And I thought you wanted to change yourself” scolded Liam him.</p><p>“Liam, enough! Don't talk to him like that. He's changed and so did you” defended Louis Harry, which surprised Harry very much.</p><p>“Let's see what you say if he disappoints you again, especially you, Louis” warned Liam him and then turned around to leave.</p><p>“I just can't believe it” grumbled Niall pissed.</p><p>“Better believe it. Liam is gone” fought Zayn against his tears.</p><p>“Harry, you know that Liam is wrong, right? You didn't do anything wrong” faced Louis Harry deadly serious.</p><p>“M'not sure” sniffled Harry softly.</p><p>“But you can. You are the hero of the day” lifted Louis his chin up and looked him deep in the eyes. Harry smiled at him with teary eyes.</p><p>“Enough with tears and accusations. Who wants to eat at mine?” asked Niall surprisingly. Zayn and Louis looked at him questioningly and Harry had written confusion on his face.</p><p>“Are you sure?” hooked Zayn for safety's sake.</p><p>“Absolutely. I think that's the moment of truth” assured Niall him without a trace of doubt in his voice.</p><p>Niall and Zayn went ahead while Harry and Louis walked closely behind them. Harry didn't say a word. He was almost burning holes in Niall's head with his eyes.</p><p>“Harry, are you okay?” asked Louis uncertainly.</p><p>“I think so, just slightly surprised” confessed Harry honestly.</p><p>“I understand. When Niall first brought us here, it came out of nowhere, all of a sudden” recalled Louis that specific day.</p><p>“At first you didn't know where he lived?” asked Harry in surprise. Louis shook his head. “That surprises me now. I would have thought he told you everything”.</p><p>“He does, but we also had to get to know each other first and find out if we can trust each other” remarked Louis.</p><p>“Is it that bad?” got Harry scared.</p><p>“No, that's not it. But it's an uncomfortable topic for him and not exactly Beverly Hills. And since you're used to that, he's scared you'll judge him and treat him differently than before” let Louis him know.</p><p>“Oh, I see why he didn't want to tell me anything. Damn, I've really fucked up a lot” cursed Harry ashamed.</p><p>“Just a little” nudged Louis him.</p><p>“Tell me, why did you tell Niall right away that Zayn is not hiding anything from him?” Harry wanted to know curiously.</p><p>“Well, um, after this <em>thing</em> we had to rebuild Niall first and with we, I mean Zayn. Niall thought you were right and we wouldn't take him seriously or keep secrets from him. It took a while until he jumped around grinning like his usual self again, food in hand, but well”.</p><p>To explain this to Harry was very uncomfortable for Louis. They had left that behind, but it came up again and again. Gradually, it should be over for good.</p><p>“I didn't realize how much words can do to you and how long they can haunt you if you shout them so carelessly into the world. A tiny word can pursue you all your life and no one thinks of it. I was really stupid” sighed Harry out guiltily.</p><p>“But that's all over now. You know better. Don't feel bad about it anymore” smiled Louis at him.</p><p>“I hurt you the most with my words. How can you even talk to me normally without ever thinking about it? How could you defend me against Liam?” asked Harry himself more than he was actually asking Louis.</p><p>“That's over. Why shouldn't I? You're my friend” said Louis casually. Harry started to grin widely.</p><p>“What?” looked Louis at him crookedly.</p><p>“I never thought you would call me a friend” chuckled Harry adorably.</p><p>“Well, miracles happen. I still can't stand you, but the same goes for Niall” joked Louis.</p><p>“I feel the love,” said Harry dramatically.</p><p>“You're an idiot”.</p><p> </p><p>...</p><p> </p><p>In front of them, Zayn worried about Niall who was silently walking beside him, biting his lip. “Niall, are you sure?” asked Zayn again.</p><p>“Yes, I am. Harry is my friend. I have avoided the subject long enough” replied Niall resolutely.</p><p>“I hope everything will be fine” mumbled Zayn.</p><p>“How are you by the way?” listened Niall carefully.</p><p>“It feels like someone ripped my heart out but everything else is fine” grinned Zayn bravely.</p><p>“He'll see his mistake ... someday,” said Niall uncertainly.</p><p>“Doesn't make it better” exhaled Zayn.</p><p>“Is it because of your crush?” questioned Niall warily.</p><p>Shocked, Zayn stared at him. “How do you know?”.</p><p>“I'm not blind, you know. I see how you look at him” grinned Niall. “But don't worry. He doesn't know anything. Probably better at the moment”</p><p>“He'll never know” clarified Zayn decisively.</p><p>“Why not?” Niall didn't understand.</p><p>“Because he has no feelings for me. He made that very clear. I don't have to make it worse” explained Zayn shortly.</p><p>“Makes sense. But hey, if you want to talk I'm always here” he let Zayn know.</p><p>“Likewise” assured Zayn him.</p><p> </p><p>...</p><p> </p><p>“Here we are” announced Niall anxiously when they reached his home. The sun fell on the roof and the sea roared in the background.</p><p>“That's beautiful” awed Harry unexpectedly.</p><p>“Do you really think so?” wondered Niall surprised.</p><p>“Yes. It looks comfy, loved. And the view from here is one of a kind” described Harry his thoughts.</p><p>“We always tell him that” grinned Zayn and went with Niall on the terrace to turn on the grill. Perfect barbecue weather.</p><p>“Who wants sausages?” asked Niall the boys and everyone raised their hands like at school.</p><p>“I'll help you, Nialler” stood Harry by the grill while Zayn sat down on the bench with Louis.</p><p>“Incredible, isn't it?” Zayn couldn't believe it.</p><p>“You can say that out loud. That surprised me” agreed Louis in shock.</p><p>“I never thought it's possible to grill at Niall's home with Harry here and now” admitted Zayn candidly.</p><p>“Me neither, Joey,” said Louis agreeingly.</p><p>“All good?” asked Zayn observingly.</p><p>“Yes, it's just ... err …” stammered Louis.</p><p>“What is it?” checked Zayn.</p><p>“I had another dream of Harry and unfortunately had to realize that my crush is probably back. Absolutely fantastic. I'm really lucky” confessed Louis sarcastically.</p><p>“Unfortunately, I know how hard it is to get rid of a crush that you always see, especially if, like Harry, he suddenly becomes nice. I'll help you as best as I can” understood Zayn him too well.</p><p>“Thanks, Zayn. We'll suffer together now” smiled Louis thankfully.</p><p>“What kind of dream?” Zayn wanted to know now.</p><p>“Oh, don't ask” buried Louis his face in his hands.</p><p>“Uh, you had another wet dream” mocked Zayn Louis.</p><p>“That's not funny” sulked Louis.</p><p>“Was it very dirty?” wiggled Zayn his eyebrows.</p><p>“Don't ask” sighed Louis out.</p><p>“Kinky one!” exclaimed Zayn loudly.</p><p>“Zayn!” admonished Louis him.</p><p>“What on earth are you talking about?” screamed Niall over to them.</p><p>“Dreams, nothing more” shouted Zayn back.</p><p>“Sounds like fun dreams,” remarked Niall nastily.</p><p>“Grill the damn sausages” hissed Louis at him, whereupon Niall only laughed loudly. “Great job, Zayn”.</p><p>“What exactly happened?” Zayn didn't let up.</p><p>“Do you need it so much?” questioned Louis the questions.</p><p>“Damn much” grinned Zayn like an idiot.</p><p>“Alright, but I say only one word” gave Louis in. Spellbound, Zayn looked at him.</p><p>“Rimming” mumbled Louis barely audible, but in Zayn's face, he realized that he had heard it.</p><p>“Oh my god, very kinky! Not so innocent, eh?” cracked Zayn up laughing.</p><p>“I can't help my dreams and it wasn't that great” complained Louis embarrassed.</p><p>“Was he bad?” mocked Zayn him.</p><p>“Oh that certainly not, but the pleasure turned into horror when Kyle turned up” became Louis serious.</p><p>“Wait, what?” asked Zayn in surprise.</p><p>“He um shoved Harry away and prevented me from getting up and well ... um …”.</p><p>“Oh Louis, I shouldn't have asked” apologized Zayn quickly.</p><p>“You couldn't know that. It's not very normal in your intimate moment to have the ex with you” failed Louis' joke.</p><p>“Do you often dream about him?” Zayn wanted to know worriedly.</p><p>“Constantly, but I got used to it,” said Louis with a shrug.</p><p>“You shouldn't” sighed Zayn helplessly.</p><p>“I can't change it. I have to live with it. I have you to talk about it so I don't do anything stupid”.</p><p>“I know you are strong enough not to do it again. I wish we had known each other before” smiled Zayn sadly.</p><p>“I know you now” hugged Louis him.</p><p>“So, you have to admit that Harry was good?” Zayn suddenly remembered.</p><p>“Not good, fantastic” smirked Louis smugly.</p><p>“Ew” squealed Zayn.</p><p>“Your own fault, Zaddy” he shoved him aside.</p><p>“Sausages are ready” called Niall over to them. Both got up and took their food.</p><p>“Let me guess, Harry did it alone?” raised Zayn an eyebrow.</p><p>“How did you notice that so quickly?” asked Niall horrified.</p><p>“They are not burnt” laughed Zayn eccentric. Niall directly thumped his shoulder.</p><p>“He was a good observer” intervened Harry fast.</p><p>“You don't have to make him better than he is. You've got the trial period behind you” assured Zayn him.</p><p>“If that's the case, Niall was really a plague and always wanted to eat everything away” grinned Harry light-heartedly.</p><p>“Ey, traitor!” exclaimed Niall offended.</p><p>“You know I love you” winked Harry at him.</p><p>“Who doesn't?” threw Niall his non-existent hair back cockily.</p><p>“After dinner, we should disappear inconspicuously and call the psychiatry. He has delusions” suggested Zayn to Harry.</p><p>“Good idea” agreed Harry overjoyed.</p><p>“I heard that!” exclaimed Niall from the bank.</p><p>“Was intentional” called Zayn back.</p><p>“So Louis, you're kinky and not innocent?” squinted Niall at him with food in his mouth.</p><p>“Zayn is a liar” asserted Louis him childishly.</p><p>“Says the liar” came Zayn over to them with Harry.</p><p>“Spill it” demanded Niall impatiently.</p><p>“Just an interesting dream” shrugged Louis.</p><p>“Uh” cooed Harry exaggeratedly.</p><p>“A dirty dream of Ryan Gosling?” nudged Niall him.</p><p>“Innit” grinned Louis and exchanged a look with Zayn.</p><p>“I knew it” rejoiced Niall as Harry began to eat in silence.</p><p>The rest of the evening was filled with good humour, laughter, bad jokes and Niall's farts. The worries were forgotten for an evening.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>---&gt;</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The sea was lying calmly in front of them and the sky was starry. Harry and Louis sat down on a rock and just enjoyed their closeness. The moonlight danced over Louis' face and Harry couldn't help but stare at him.</p><p>“Do you think it was fate that we met?” asked Louis without looking at him.</p><p>“I think so, Lou. After all, we're sitting here now” mused Harry thoughtfully.</p><p>“And it was a long way to this point” sighed Louis almost sounding sad or devastated.</p><p>“Yeah, and that's all my fault. I've made so many mistakes and hurt you. I don't deserve you” the guilt ate Harry alive again.</p><p>“Of course, you deserve me. I don't deserve you. You are way too beautiful and, not forgetting, straight, so I can never have you” contradicted Louis him.</p><p>“But we are here. What are you talking about, Lou?” Harry didn't understand.</p><p>“Yes, we are, but that doesn't mean anything. You don't know anything about me” stated Louis.</p><p>“Then tell me more” suggested Harry stubbornly.</p><p>“I can't do it, though I want to” admitted Louis timidly.</p><p>“Why not? What's so bad that you can't tell me but the others?” Harry finally wanted to know.</p><p>“I'm scared Harry, scared of more scars. I've had enough” whined Louis helplessly.</p><p>“Also because of me?” Harry hardly dared to ask. Louis didn't answer. “I already guessed that. Louis, give me your arm”.</p><p>Nervously, Louis handed him his arm. Harry pulled up the long sleeves and lay a fresh big wound open, surrounded by many scars. It was barely bleeding but bleeding his heart.</p><p>“I'm so sorry. I'll try to make amends every second of my life” assured Harry him, wrapping a cloth to cover Louis' arm around the spot.</p><p>“I know, Haz” stroked Louis his cheek.</p><p>Suddenly Harry found himself in his bed with Louis above him. He kissed his neck sensually while sliding his hands over Harry's chest. As Louis loosened from his neck, Harry simply stared at him. His eyes wandered all over his face to his dream body and Harry felt his throat going dry. Slowly, Louis kissed down Harry's stomach until just above his cock.</p><p>Louis took Harry's length in his tiny hand and started palming him while licking lightly over it, causing Harry to release heavy and loud moans of pleasure. He never felt like this in his life before. Panting heavily, he looked down at Louis. He looked so gorgeous kneeling there with red lips and flushed cheeks. He looked like a freaking sex god but on the other side still so innocent and like an angel.</p><p>“Lou, look at me” pleaded Harry breathlessly.</p><p>Louis looked up at him with these big blue eyes behind these long eyelashes. He licked the tip of Harry's cock, making Harry go crazy with pleasure. Such small touches from Louis made him lose his mind completely.</p><p>Louis broke the eye contact and unexpectedly took him in his beautiful mouth, causing Harry to let out a rather loud moan. Louis looked so sinfully innocent with his lips wrapped around Harry and his cheeks hollow. His eyes were fluttering shut when he started to take him in completely without gagging, moaning in pleasure and picking up the pace. The vibration of Louis' moans sent tingles down his whole body and he moaned as well.</p><p>Louis looked up at him as he sucked at Harry's tip. “Come for me, Baby” whispered Louis and that was all Harry needed to come hard down Louis' throat who swallowed it all while keeping eye contact with him. Harry was riding out his High but he wanted more. More of Louis. Wanted to feel complete. Wanted Louis to fill him up.</p><p>Carefully, he grabbed Louis' dick and stroked it slightly. “I want you, Lou. All of you” whispered Harry.</p><p>“You sure, Haz?” asked Louis concerned.</p><p>“Was never so sure in my life” he smiled at him and wanted to kiss him so badly, but instead of kissing him, going slow or prepping him, Louis just lined himself up in front of Harry's entrance.</p><p>“Ready?” he asked once again, hovering over him.</p><p>“Yes” he breathed out nervously, but he wanted that. It was his idea. He already felt Louis' tip against his hole, sending electricity through his body. Yes, he wanted all of him. Now.</p><p>Suddenly, the door opened and his father stormed in. He stared at his son with flaming anger and pure hatred in his eyes, scaring the shit out of Harry. “Harry, what's going on in here?” he asked in shock. Harry was missing the words.</p><p>“No, my son is not gay. Stay away from my son” he shouted, pulling Louis away from Harry.</p><p>“No, stop” croaked Harry out.</p><p>“Shame on you. You'll never touch him again, fag” he slapped Louis in the face as he dragged him out of the door, still naked.</p><p>“Haz” whimpered Louis.</p><p>“Buttercup” cried Harry after him.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The next moment, Harry sat up straight in his bed panting and gasping. That was a weird dream. He made sure he was really alone before trying to understand it all. He looked down and realized that he had a boner. His first reflex was to take his phone and call some random girl for distraction sex, but he stopped himself from doing exactly this. That was not a solution. The dream didn't want to achieve that.</p><p>Fuck, he had a sex dream of Louis. He couldn't believe it. How could that happen? Was he so needy after over a week without sex that he dreamt of a boy now? Of Louis? <em>Shit</em>.</p><p>He tried to remember important details. Only the beach and their conversation. Did the dream want to tell him that it was destiny to meet Louis so that something would change in his life? Then he remembered the secret. Louis said he was scared. Scared of what? He could tell him everything. He wanted to be there for him. To finally know what he didn't know as the only one. Maybe he wanted to know it for the wrong reasons.</p><p>The big red wound and the scars now appeared in his head. That was horrible. He hadn't been able to let this thought go since he discovered it. Louis had cut himself earlier. But why? And why did Harry notice that so late? He had to admit that he didn't understand much about people. Their feelings, motivations or small signs that revealed everything about them. He wouldn't know who was anorexic or depressive. At least so far. Zayn had recognized it immediately, even Niall didn't take long, although unlike Louis he hadn't noticed Zayn's new anxiety. How could Harry not see all of this? It was so obvious and he saw nothing. He felt stupid.</p><p>In the dream, he had healed Louis' scars and promised to be there for him. Then suddenly they were in his bed and d ... fuck, that felt so real and good. Better than any real sex Harry ever had. Except for the one with Louis, which wasn't yet sex, just a BJ, as in the dream. Why did it feel better than any full-on sex with all the girls who he had fucked or had ridden him or whatever?</p><p>He still felt Louis' touch on his skin. His voice echoed in his head. These big innocent blue eyes behind those endless eyelashes. Beautiful. Those soft lips he wanted to feel on his own, not just around him. He wanted to taste his tongue, but that hadn't happened. He desperately needed other thoughts.</p><p>Just before Louis could fill him up, which he wanted too much in the dream, that was oblique, his father came in. Why did his dream-self know how gay sex works anyway?</p><p>The feeling as his father pulled Louis away from him and hit him would never be forgotten by Harry. It was as if his entire world was collapsing. But had his father hinted that Louis had made him gay and that was abominable? Well, first of all, that was not abnormal and second, Harry was not gay. He liked girls.</p><p>This dream didn't let him go. His head exploded almost as much as he was thinking. It raised so many questions in the middle of the night. Harry wanted to let his sensitive side out and understand more about feelings. The dream had evoked memories of how he had asked Louis mockingly if he would cut himself now that he had lost himself back then when he had changed his clothes because of Harry and mentioned that long sleeves would be noticeable. He had made fun of self-harm without realizing it. That could never happen again.</p><p>He also wondered if he would ever be able to develop a crush. Was he able to allow feelings and show them to someone and be worthy of their feelings? Would he then learn how different sex was with feelings? Was he wrong about that, too? Was it really better if you loved the person? Could he love at all? Was love worth fighting for?</p><p>He let himself fall into his pillow, groaning. Here he was now with his boner and no salvation in sight. He had to do it himself and, thanks to this great night, try hard not to imagine Louis. That would be gross. After all, they were just friends. A wet dream about Louis and all these questions came up. How was this related? It wasn't possible that the dream should mean more? Correct?</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0020"><h2>20. 22.1 Remorse?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>In short, Monday was awful. Not only because everyone hated Mondays and the weekend was over, but also because Liam acted as if the others had betrayed their country and ruined his life forever. When Zayn came to class with Louis in the morning, Liam sat laughing happily on the other side of the room with Lauren and the others. He had actually swapped seats. The two tried to ignore him and behave normally as if they didn't care, but that wasn't so easy. Shortly before the lesson began, Niall and Harry came in, who immediately noticed it.</p><p>“What is that supposed to mean?” whispered Niall as he sat down next to Louis.</p><p>“I have no idea” sighed Louis helplessly.</p><p>“Harry, sit here” offered Zayn Harry the seat next to him. Slightly surprised, Harry sat down next to Zayn as the lesson began.</p><p>Over and over again, the boys glanced over at Liam. Lauren was almost sitting on his lap while the others didn't really pay attention to what their teacher was saying. They were like the female ineligible counterpart to Sean, Ethan and Aidan. Except that they only were dealing with girls like Tiffany, Cecilia or Chloe. Actually, they would have to join together in a large group and then drown in the sea. It was a mystery to them why this hadn't happened yet.</p><p>At lunch, he didn't sit with them either, which did not surprise them, but hurt all of them even if no one wanted to admit it. It hurt to see how quickly you could be replaced and how much a good friend could betray and disappoint you.</p><p>“Hey guys, why is Liam here? I thought he was gone” asked Nikki as she sat down at the table with Victoria and Violetta.</p><p>“His parents kept him here, otherwise he would have disappeared without a word” reported Zayn neutrally.</p><p>“One second, how do you know that?” frowned Niall alarmed.</p><p>“Everyone knows it. Half of the school is talking about the offer, but everyone's wondering why he's here even though he should be gone” explained Victoria informatively.</p><p>“But how do they know that?” asked Harry confused.</p><p>“There is a lot of talk and apparently there was someone who knew about it and has probably told everyone” let Violetta them know.</p><p>“Probably someone who is popular and has enough range, but what is in it for them?” mused Niall confused.</p><p>“Gossip is always interesting. You know how they are” sighed Nikki.</p><p>“That's unfortunately true” agreed Louis with her.</p><p>“Oh man, so the whole school will puzzle over what happened” concluded Harry horrified.</p><p>“Probably yes, but unplanned problems can happen. There's no reason for all the buzz” mumbled Victoria upset.</p><p>“They will exploit that until something more interesting happens” tried Violetta to sound positive.</p><p>“And we can pay his bad temper” rolled Zayn his eyes.</p><p>“Why you?” checked Victoria irritated.</p><p>“The Lord believes it is our fault” grumbled Zayn.</p><p>“Why?” she didn't understand.</p><p>“He can't think straight at the moment. He probably accuses anyone except himself. I would be interested in who told this around” Niall quickly changed the subject.</p><p>“I bet you it was Lauren” hissed Zayn bitterly.</p><p>“Could be. After all, her mother works in the lab where Dr Baker has been” thought Harry out loud.</p><p>“Wasn't she against all this?” wondered Louis perplexed.</p><p>“Yeah, until it helped her” shook Niall his head.</p><p>“What good is that to her when he's gone?” Louis didn't understand a word.</p><p>“It's all about attention. They used it anyway because of the band and hate you because you don't fall for it” began Violetta to explain.</p><p>“They hate us?” looked Harry at her crookedly.</p><p>“I thought you knew that”.</p><p>“We had suspected something like that” noted Niall.</p><p>“Anyway, what's better than to tell everyone about your friend who works with famous scientists? He doesn't even have to be there” continued Vilu.</p><p>“But he's here. Why is she still talking to him?” inquired Louis without understanding.</p><p>“No idea. Hopefully, the band will do it, otherwise, Liam will soon have a rude awakening” pointed Violetta out.</p><p>“We warned him about that before. Self-guilt” snorted Zayn. Questioningly, the girls looked at Zayn.</p><p>“Marriage crisis?” whispered Victoria to Louis.</p><p>“Would be nice if that's just it” replied Louis softly.</p><p>“Marriage crisis? Did I miss something?” wondered Harry with a frown.</p><p>“Oh, Harry” shook Violetta her head grinningly.</p><p>“Hello, guys” greeted Max them cheerfully.</p><p>“Hey, guys” greeted Nikki back.</p><p>“The whispers about Liam are beginning to get annoying. They are in desperate need of a hobby” complained Brandon as Luke leaned against him and took his hand.</p><p>“Blasphemy is a hobby in this world” noted Victoria matter-of-factly.</p><p>“But we don't need that” snuggled Luke closer to his boyfriend.</p><p>“Niall, stop staring” laughed Brandon as Niall stared at the two as if in a trance.</p><p>“Sorry, but you are so cute. Nice that one of my ships is alive” gushed Niall like a fangirl.</p><p>“Which others are dead?” Brandon wanted to know.</p><p>“Not dead. Rather problematic” grinned Niall like the little devil he was.</p><p>“Now I'm curious. Who are you talking about?” Luke wanted to know.</p><p>“Ziam and Larry” revealed Niall shamelessly.</p><p>“Ziam was never a thing” grumbled Zayn dryly.</p><p>“In my world, it was” smiled Niall sheepishly.</p><p>“You picked two great ships, Niall. Stay with us. We're at least real and not so unrealistic” grinned Brandon in amusement.</p><p>“Hey, what's so unrealistic about Larry?” protested Harry fakely offended.</p><p>“You said Larry is bullshit” reminded Luke him.</p><p>“Thanks for the reminder” mumbled Louis and glanced at Zayn for help. Harry looked guiltily at him.</p><p>“Well, Harry, some of that is unrealistic. But when I think about it ... The way you look at each other, how you talk about each other, how close you are, how much time you spend together, how you rave about and stare at him. That's all pretty cute and not so unrealistic, don't you think?” enumerated Zayn strange observations demandingly. Harry had turned pale and had no eye contact with anyone.</p><p>“Oh wait, the boy is as straight as the wall; completely slipped my mind. He says so often enough” slapped Zayn his hand dramatically against his forehead.</p><p>“Yes, I am” pouted Harry.</p><p>“If you think so” stopped Zayn now.</p><p>“You have great ships” chuckled Brandon amused.</p><p>“They just need some love and affection and time” claimed Niall snapped.</p><p>“Sure you're not talking about a plant?” mocked Luke him.</p><p>“Both take some time” clarified Niall.</p><p>“What did you want by the way?” cleared Louis his throat as he sunk down in his seat, not looking at Harry.</p><p>“Actually, we wanted to ask if we can attend the rehearsal today” let Patrick them know.</p><p>“If you even rehearse, well, because of Liam” added Max hastily.</p><p>“We will not let him destroy the band. After all, that's all he has left to get attention” said Zayn pissed off.</p><p>“Just come by past five” suggested Niall.</p><p>“Okay, see you later. Thanks” the boys said goodbye.</p><p>Shortly thereafter, the others got up and went back to class, all with their thoughts elsewhere. Zayn against his will thought about Liam. Louis thought of a way to hide and forget his feelings. Harry didn't get Zayn's words out of his mind but pushed them aside to solve the mystery of Louis' secret. And Niall worried about his mother, who worked double shifts and was hardly home.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>---&gt;</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Niall and Louis were clearing away a few boxes as Max, Patrick, Luke and Brandon came into the room. Liam had actually come by but didn't say a word to them.</p><p>“The room has style” marvelled Max as he looked around.</p><p>“I'm in it” winked Harry at them, standing by the door.</p><p>“Still has something of old garage bands, nicely home-made” added Patrick.</p><p>“That sounds more like food” commented Zayn grinningly.</p><p>“Did anyone say food?” appeared Niall suddenly behind him.</p><p>“Zayn, how can you say that word?! You know what happens then” exclaimed Harry playfully.</p><p>“It's not my fault if he ... Well, sorry” rolled Zayn amused his eyes.</p><p>“What are we starting with?” asked Louis expectantly.</p><p>“How about something new? Rehearsing the old songs is unnecessary” proposed Liam bored.</p><p>“Oh, you think so? What do you think how other bands get better?” shot Zayn back.</p><p>“Has anyone written anything?” Liam simply ignored him.</p><p>Immediately, the tension was felt. Zayn was annoyed by Liam's behaviour and the others also had to hold back from kicking him in the guts. Louis nervously played with his sleeve, avoiding eye contact. He was a bad liar.</p><p>“No, nobody,” said Harry. Niall and Zayn nodded their thanks and Louis stared at the ground.</p><p>“No one? Really?” wondered Liam disapprovingly.</p><p>“You know, you weren't the only one who had other things in mind. Songs don't write themselves. You need inspiration for that. It's not always there when you want it” grumbled Niall peeved.</p><p>“I had important things to do” boasted Liam.</p><p>“We too, Mister important” hissed Niall annoyed.</p><p>Liam's cell phone rang at that moment. Bringing it out of his pocket, he picked it up and walked outside.</p><p>“We'll just start with <em>Just Words</em> or something,” said Zayn absently.</p><p>“We c-co-uld als-so si-ing umm <em>F-Fool For You</em>” stuttered Louis. To say he was ashamed that he was holding back songs from Liam was still nicely expressed.</p><p>“We don't have to” rushed Zayn out sympathetically.</p><p>“Exactly. Lou, you didn't even want to show them to us. We don't have to sing them, not yet. Only when it feels right” assured Harry him. Louis just nodded in agreement.</p><p>Behind them resounded the sound of a drum kit. Apparently, Brandon had sneaked past them. “Sorry, it was so tempting” he grinned sheepishly.</p><p>“Go ahead. We have to wait for Liam anyway” let Zayn him play.</p><p>Brandon kept playing and it sounded really good. Suddenly, Patrick got up and picked up the guitar. At the same time, Max took the other guitar and Luke went to the bass. It was like in a movie. One by one, they got into the song and sounded perfect together. Like a real band.</p><p>“Guys, that was awesome” praised Niall them.</p><p>“Thanks, but that was just so played” blushed Luke.</p><p>“That sounded great,” said Zayn enthusiastically.</p><p>“Ever thought about starting a band?” asked Harry the boys.</p><p>“We, um, I mean, we're friends, but ...” stammered Brandon overwhelmed.</p><p>“I think that's a great idea” stated Louis excitedly.</p><p>“Really?” wondered Max surprised.</p><p>“Really. You have the vibe and a connection. Something like that doesn't happen for no reason” was Harry sure of it</p><p>“Who would have thought you would ever say that kind of thing?” chuckled Patrick joyfully.</p><p>“Not me” laughed Harry carefree. “But it's true. We're the best example of that”.</p><p>“He's right” agreed Louis with him.</p><p>“Just play it again,” told Niall them.</p><p>And that's what they did. They played the same tune again, with Luke standing right next to Brandon. They both just looked at each other with a fond smile. Zayn, Louis, Niall and Harry watched them.</p><p>“They're really cute” commented Niall.</p><p>“Yes, they are. It's great that it's going so well between them” agreed Zayn happily.</p><p>“I cannot imagine them without each other” confessed Louis sincerely.</p><p>“Can anyone look at me like that?” whined Niall dramatically.</p><p>“Now you sound desperate” laughed Louis exhilarated.</p><p>“I'm desperate. Where do you find that? That's where I'm going right away” exclaimed Niall dramatically.</p><p>“You'll have to change the team for that” giggled Zayn.</p><p>“Why that?” Harry didn't understand.</p><p>“I've noticed that it's more likely someone will stay together if they are the same sex. Preceded you find someone. That's hard enough” replied Zayn thoughtfully.</p><p>“I actually noticed that, too. It also makes sense” agreed Niall with him.</p><p>“In which way?” asked Harry curiously.</p><p>“Men and women often just don't get along. They don't understand each other. They talk past each other because their brains work very differently. That doesn't happen to the two of them. I mean, I'm not saying straight couples don't work out. I personally just know more gay ones that stayed together” explained Niall, gesturing to Luke and Brandon, who were just whispering by the drums.</p><p>“But unfortunately that's generally hard to find, almost impossible. Whether boy or girl” doubted Louis softly and looked at the two longingly.</p><p>“Whom do you say that?” sighed Zayn out.</p><p>“Well, looks like I have to marry you” put Niall an arm around Louis.</p><p>“Why me? Why not Harry or Zayn?” protested Louis.</p><p>“Zayn belongs to Liam and Harry is straight” replied Niall calmly.</p><p>“But you’re too” countered Louis, ignoring Zayn's face.</p><p>“I'm flexible. I want to be happy. With whom doesn't matter” announced Niall surely.</p><p>“Wait, are you saying ...”.</p><p>“Okay, see you tomorrow then” came Liam back in and Louis fell silent. Later he could talk to Niall about it.</p><p>“Are we rehearsing now?” asked Liam impatiently.</p><p>“We were just waiting for you” mumbled Niall. Max, Patrick, Luke and Brandon made room and Liam went straight to the microphone.</p><p>“And only for the record, I'm marrying Louis” whispered Zayn to Niall as he walked past him.</p><p>“Can you believe that? Liam should quickly get his man or we'll soon have a fraternal Zouis wedding” joked Niall but Harry didn't laugh.</p><p>“Oh no. That will not happen” stated Harry surely.</p><p>“Maybe. But Liam should still do something and Louis needs a boyfriend. He deserves it. Are you helping me?” asked Niall resolutely.</p><p>“Um, I don't know if he wants that” cleared Harry his throat nervously.</p><p>“Sure <em>he</em> doesn't want that?” looked Niall at him crookedly.</p><p>“Fine, I'll help you” grumbled Harry defeated.</p><p>“Great. I wonder if Sam maybe ... oh, or this guy from our music .... or Luke, the other Luke from the basketball team. That would be perfect. He is never straight. Maybe we should go to training and then improvise a little bit” counted Niall, merging into his Louis dating plans. He totally missed Harry's changing mood.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>---&gt;</p><p>
  <br/>
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</p><p> </p><p>No idea what happened to Liam since yesterday, but today he almost behaved like himself. In Chemistry, he didn't dubiously exchange his partner like he did last time. Zayn didn't know what he should think about it. On the one hand, he was happy to work with Liam again as he used to. But on the other hand, he was still angry and disappointed and very sceptical. He didn't understand what that all that meant.</p><p>In English, he didn't sit down next to Lauren but also not next to Zayn, there was sitting Harry again. No, he sat down alone at Harry's old place from when he had just left Sean behind before sitting diagonally next to Niall and Louis. The four looked confused, but no one could relate to the behaviour. During the break on the way to the cafeteria, Liam was the main topic of conversation.</p><p>“What is he up to?” wondered Niall bewildered.</p><p>“Someone like him doesn't make plans. Presumably, Lauren dumped him” guessed Zayn.</p><p>“Dumped him? Wouldn't they have been together for that?” questioned Harry mussy.</p><p>“You can also dump friends or play pieces in your plan” enlightened Zayn Harry.</p><p>“Doesn't exclude a little smooching” chuckled Niall.</p><p>“Shut up” nudged Louis him in the ribs as they sat down at the table.</p><p>“What?” rubbed Niall the hit spot. Louis gave him a warning look and Niall was immediately quiet.</p><p>“Do you think he's coming to the rehearsal today?” thought Harry out loud.</p><p>“He wasn't there yesterday. Why should he suddenly change his mind today? You heard it, as long as we have nothing new, which of course we have to write, rehearsals are unnecessary” repeated Zayn Liam's words from the previous day.</p><p>Behind them, someone cleared their throat. They didn't need to turn around to know who that was. Nevertheless, Louis turned around slightly and saw a nervous-looking Liam. “What do you want?” he asked coolly.</p><p>“May I sit?” asked Liam for permission to sit down at the table.</p><p>“Don't force yourself” replied Louis uninterestedly. Reluctantly, Liam sat down next to Louis, opposite Niall and Zayn.</p><p>“Before anyone comes up with the clever idea to start small talk to release the obvious tension, forget it immediately. We can get straight to the point” clarified Niall from the outset.</p><p>“I guess then I should start” stammered Liam nervously.</p><p>“Good idea,” said Niall icy.</p><p>“Well, I want to apologize, just for everything. I haven't been very fair or nice lately” started Liam his apology.</p><p>“That's all?” asked Zayn disappointedly.</p><p>“I should never have treated you like this. You're my friends, not Lauren and the others” continued Liam.</p><p>“Where did the sudden change of heart come from? Did she have enough of you?” checked Niall sceptically.</p><p>“Yesterday, Nikki talked to me and showed me how wrong and blind I was. Believing every word and neglecting you was silly of me. She doesn't like me, just the fame around it” informed Liam them sheepishly.</p><p>“That's what we told you, but you didn't want to believe us” reminded Niall him angrily.</p><p>“I know. I was stupid. I can see that now” admitted Liam ashamed.</p><p>“It's nice that Nikki has finally enlightened you, but do you really think a simple apology makes you all right?” snapped Zayn angrily at him.</p><p>“I had hoped …”.</p><p>“What? That we just pretend nothing has happened?” cut Zayn Liam off.</p><p>“I know you're mad and rightly so ...” muttered Liam.</p><p>“We aren't mad, not only. Most of the time we are disappointed. You were our best friend, Liam. You are the only one who knows everything, the one we trusted blindly and you left us behind. Not only have you dumped us since the beginning of the second term for Lauren and replaced us. No, you reproached us we wouldn't begrudge you anything and be jealous of you. Jealous of the attention, the interest. Jealous of your work and the success, the offer”.</p><p>“And the worst of all was that you played ruthlessly with our lives and you didn't even notice it at all. You betrayed us. We could be in the circus without Harry and you have nothing better to do than tell us we ruined everything. They just wanted more information. She never wanted you, but you believed her everything. You chose them over us, you trusted them more than your best friends. You insulted Harry unnecessarily, even though he was the only one who tried to support you when everyone was against you. And you didn't care about certain things. It didn't interest you at all. So, I'm sorry that we're disappointed” told Zayn him all the reasons why they were angry and disappointed and nodded at Louis at the last point. Liam had let him down completely when he needed him the most.</p><p>“I didn't see all of this. I was blind, but now I realised I made a horrible mistake. I'm ashamed of myself for that and I assure you ...”.</p><p>“Please, spare me this crap” cut Niall Liam off.</p><p>“If that aren't the little losers. Liam, back to the scum now that those doctors didn't want you anymore? Must have something to do with your loser friends. They're pulling you down a bit” popped Sean up at their table.</p><p>“We just agreed on a different way. There have been complications and ...” stammered Liam helplessly.</p><p>“Complications? Didn't you wipe the floor fast enough? And was there any complication with Lauren or why are you back with <em>that</em>? Liam, once a loser, always a loser” mocked Sean him.</p><p>“Just shut up, leave him alone. Not everyone is as low level as you” hissed Zayn at him pissed off.</p><p>“How sweet. Still, the protector, huh Jonah? He left you and you still love him. That's pathetic” derided Sean Zayn disparagingly.</p><p>“Just leave, Sean” was Louis fed up.</p><p>“Your sayings have also been better, Dwarf. Did your little boyfriend shag your brain out or why are you such a joke?” countered Sean disgustingly.</p><p>“Leave him alone or I forget myself” stood Harry up angrily and towered in front of Sean.</p><p>“Don't tell me you're the new boyfriend of this dwarf? I thought it was this weird, way too cool guy from the Sea Snack. He has to be awesome to shag, if you suddenly fancy little fat ass guys” smirked Sean darkly at him. Louis looked around in shock. How did Sean know about Kyle? His eyes fell on Liam, who immediately looked ashamed to the ground. That couldn't be ...</p><p>“Now listen to me. You can't confuse me, Sean. I know your scam, remember? I was just like you. I wouldn't mess with me if I were you. Bother my friends again and you'll regret it” stood Harry up to Sean.</p><p>“I knew that would happen. Now you're just as much of a failure as that. Feelings and loyalty and friendship, bah, disgusting. Why are you defending that? You had everything and you gave it up. For what?” Sean just couldn't understand him.</p><p>“For something better, something more genuine. For true friends who take you as you are and have your back no matter what time of day” said Harry proudly, making the others smile.</p><p>“I think I have to puke right here and now. Since when do you have feelings? That's disgusting. You prefer them over us? Look at him, Harry. He's an ugly, tiny, gay loser who gets fucked by anyone. And what are you protecting?” shook Sean roughly Louis' arm, causing Louis to flinch.</p><p>“Don't fucking touch him. Don't even look at him or I swear to you ...” grabbed Harry Sean by the collar.</p><p>“What are you gonna do then? Beat me up like Aidan? Just do it, Harry. The headmaster is on my side, as you know. I'm not giving away all the prairies for a bunch of failures” challenged Sean him.</p><p>“You” glared Harry at him angrily.</p><p>He clenched his fist and Sean winced knowingly. But the fist was stopped. Louis had jumped up and stood between them, holding his fist. “That's not worth it. Haz. Don't get provoked or you'll get in trouble”.</p><p>Slowly, Harry dropped his fist. That could have gone wrong. If Louis was just a little weaker, Harry would have beaten him without wanting it. He would never have forgiven himself.</p><p>“Yeah, listen to your little fat ass. One could really make an exception for that. Is it fun to push your cock in his ass and see him suffer?” Sean didn't stop. At those words, Louis closed his eyes desperately and tried to block them out. Again and again, everybody had to say something like that.</p><p>“Shut up. I will not spare you” wanted Harry to strike again, but Louis stopped him. He was stronger than Harry had assumed.</p><p>Suddenly, Louis felt something wet on his back and felt Sean fall forwards against his back. Someone had jostled him.</p><p>“Sean, leave now and don't make yourself anymore ridiculous” intervened Niall now to distract Sean.</p><p>“You know all about it” hissed Sean as Louis disappeared from the cafeteria with Harry.</p><p>He quickly ran to the well-known broom closet and rumbled into it. Shortly after, his transformation started and he sat down on the floor.</p><p>“I almost forgot” shook Louis his head at the sight.</p><p>“I'll do it quickly” knelt Harry in front of him and let his hand wander over his legs.</p><p>“Thanks, Haz” brought Louis out while he endured the heat.</p><p>“No problem, not the first time,” said Harry without looking at him.</p><p>“I mean for the thing with Sean,” told Louis him.</p><p>“Oh” looked Harry at him now.</p><p>Incomprehensibly, he found it difficult to look Louis in the eyes in this small and tight room when he was sitting on the floor shirtless. The muscles everywhere explained the unexpected strength. Harry had forgotten about that. So often he didn't see Louis that bared. He quickly looked up again into these fascinating eyes.</p><p>“He just annoyed me” added Harry while staring into Louis' eyes.</p><p>“You just showed us loyalty out there, especially to me. Thank you” thanked Louis him.</p><p>“You helped me not to get in trouble” smiled Harry at Louis.</p><p>“Beating up Sean is no solution, even if I would like to do it myself” replied Louis as his legs turned back to normal.</p><p>“It just made me angry to hear how Sean or other people keep coming back to how great it has to be to fuck you as if that's your only purpose. As if you were just an object of lust for assholes. How can people be like that? People aren't just amusement mattresses that you use until they're exploited and worn out and then they move on to the next one. They have feelings, it's not all about sex. Not everybody wants to shove their cock in your ass, some people want more. Sean is so disgusting” stirred Harry. He clenched his fists and let steam emerge.</p><p>“Haz, calm down. He's a jerk. He's not worth it” tried Louis to reassure him and at the same time, release that depressing feeling.</p><p>Whenever someone said something, he felt it on his bum and saw it in front of him like a movie. Sure, Harry didn't want to trigger that, but unfortunately, that was exactly what happened. Still, Louis thought it was amazing what Harry had just said. Ironically he was the one being upset about something that he himself had done. That was a big step and Louis was stunned.</p><p>“Oops, sorry. Are you alright?”. The steam disappeared again and Harry sat down on the floor. Louis just nodded.</p><p>Suddenly, the door jumped open and Liam came in. “Oh God, is everything all right with you? Did everything work out?”.</p><p>“No need to worry. We're used to it. The storeroom and I are like old friends” joked Louis to ease the mood.</p><p>“That's my fault alone” closed Liam the door and sat down to them.</p><p>“Nonsense. Sean's always doing that, you know that” waved Louis the matter off.</p><p>“Zayn and Niall have already gone to the music room. They really don't want to talk to me. I'll leave you two alone now, too” said Liam defeatedly.</p><p>“Wait, don't go” stopped Harry him. Liam looked at him in confusion. "I forgive you. You should know that I know what it's like to be in your place. That's why I give you a little vote of confidence. Now I know kind of how you felt about me, but I also know that everybody makes mistakes. You realised yours. I don't want anything more than that”.</p><p>“Really? But I was especially mean to you” wondered Liam dumbfounded.</p><p>“And I was mean to you until a while ago. Forgive and forget” retorted Harry nicely.</p><p>“Thank you” fell Liam into his arms with relief.</p><p>“I don't want to be vindictive either. Everybody makes mistakes, so do I. I forgave Harry, sorry Haz, so why not you?! Sure, that's different, but I don't feel like drama anymore. Besides, I miss you, Lima” confessed Louis sentimentally.</p><p>“I miss you too, Louis. I'm so sorry. I wasn't there when you needed me the most and was dumb enough to mention him to Lauren. I'll never forgive myself” whined Liam into Louis' neck as he hugged him.</p><p>“Zayn was there. I'm fine and it’s okay. No harm done. I’m good” patted Louis him on the back.</p><p>“No, you're not. I can see that. I'll never let you down like this again” promised Liam him.</p><p>“This room is too small for emotionalism. Let's make love confessions later” joked Louis and kissed Liam on the cheek.</p><p>“Ha-ha, let's go, you crazy chicken” laughed Liam and also gave him a kiss on the cheek.</p><p>“Get a room” gagged Harry playfully disgusted.</p><p>“Later” winked Louis at him.</p><p>“Zayn will not like that. Cheating before marriage is the worst thing” replied Harry playfully.</p><p>“Zayn or you? You can still dramatically storm the wedding” grinned Louis on the way to music class.</p><p>“Now you have ruined my plan” pouted Harry insulted.</p><p>“Then I'm probably doomed to marry Zayn. Well, it could be worse” hopped Louis through the hallway.</p><p>“Niall has other plans” muttered Harry under his breath.</p><p>“What did you say?” inquired Louis.</p><p>“Not so important” waved Harry it off when they arrived in the room.</p><p>“Everything okay, Harry?” whispered Liam as they both sat down.</p><p>“Sure, what shall be? I never felt better”</p><p> </p>
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<a name="section0021"><h2>21. 22.2 Another Moon</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>For the next few days, Liam would toss countless books, downloaded foreign software and explored ways to better protect the boys so that nothing would go wrong on that next full moon. Niall appreciated Liam's hard work but he wasn't sure what to think about it. He still felt disappointed and let down by him and couldn't just forget everything.</p><p>Before they went over to Liam's, the boys all met up at the Sea Snack and talked for a while. Louis and Harry tried to reason with Zayn and Niall and convince them that Liam regretted his mistakes and deserved a second chance. Niall was a bit torn but Zayn was simply stubborn and still totally hurt. He couldn't forgive him and Niall understood why. To be honest, he was really surprised that Louis and Harry had both forgiven him already and agreed on that point even.</p><p>When the boys all arrived at the same time it was very tense. Liam's surprise that Niall and Zayn had even come by was written on his face. The two still barely talked to him, only when needed. Luckily, Harry and Louis were there to release the tension. Which was weird for Niall but right now it wasn't important. He felt the fear creeping back into his body. The moon was scary and it messed up a lot of things all the time. No one knew what was about to happen and not even Kida or Hope had talked to them or warned them. Could be a good sign or the worst.</p><p>While the others sat on the couch and talked, Liam sat down at the table in front of his laptop and was working on some important things for his workplace, that he still had somehow after abandoning it for that shitty team of scientists. When a frown spread across his face Niall felt the need to go over to him. So he slowly walked into the kitchen to get a drink and it looked like Liam really wanted to say something to him, but he didn't know what to say, so he said nothing.</p><p>“What are you doing there?” asked Niall interested. That Niall approached him caught him off guard apparently.</p><p>“Um, I'm working on some work stuff I have to do. We’re working on some possible <em>‘cure’</em> for people with a water allergy. Oh, and I prepared everything for you before you arrived so nothing could go wrong and yeah” reported Liam shortly.</p><p>“Wow, that's great. I reckon on what you're doing here for us today, though you have no reason to help Zayn and me” admitted Niall overwhelmed.</p><p>“You need help one day a month. That's reason enough. The other things don't matter for a moment” clarified Liam friendly.</p><p>“I realised that you're trying and I see your despair. And the two forgave you and um … I do, too. Yes, you have disappointed me and hurt me, but you are trying to make it right again. Just don't let me down again, okay?” let Niall him know. He really wanted his best friend back and end this fucking drama.</p><p>“Never again, Niall. Thank you. You will not regret it” was Liam positively pleased. Then his laptop beeped and startled Niall a bit. “Exactly at 9:23 pm the moon is rising. That gives me one hour to get my missing stuff. Would you come with me or just stay here and wait?”.</p><p>“I'm coming with you. I'm hungry anyway. Hey, will you come with me to buy a burger?” shouted Niall to the others.</p><p>“Why not” shrugged Harry and the five of them left the house together.</p><p>They walked through the late evening air towards Liam's destination. They entered the building of the animal shelter and walked through a long hallway. With his key, Liam opened the door to one of the labs and stepped inside.</p><p>“I hate labs so badly” shuddered Louis at the sight.</p><p>“Me too, Tommy. Hopefully, we won't get locked inside here” agreed Zayn with a nasty look at Liam.</p><p>“Zayn, please” pleaded Harry in a whisper. Zayn just grumbled quietly but nodded at Harry.</p><p>“I want my burger. Wanna go get some?” whined Niall like a five-year-old kid.</p><p>“Liam, we're gonna get some burger for little Niall before he eats one of us. We'll meet outside in ten minutes. Then we have enough time to get back before the moon rises” told Louis him.</p><p>“Yeah, yeah, okay,” said Liam absent-mindedly as he rummaged through his stuff.</p><p>Meanwhile, the other four boys went down the hallway again and towards the front door. Niall felt his stomach grumble so he sprinted forwards impatiently. When he opened the door a bright beam of light hit his face.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>...</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The sun was shining in his face and he crinkled his nose. Blinking, Niall opened his eyes. When he got used to the light, he looked around in confusion. Beside him, Zayn was slightly snoring. Niall sat up and spotted Louis and Harry lying on the bed, both sleeping and cuddled up together. If Niall weren't so confused, he would enjoy the sight longer.</p><p>He shook Zayn roughly until he woke up and looked at him sleepily. “Do you have any idea what happened last night and how we got here?”.</p><p>“I only know that I have a headache” grumbled Zayn surly.</p><p>“Sorry sleeping beauty, but we have a puzzle to solve and we have to go to school” reminded Niall him.</p><p>Slowly, he got up and went over to the bed. Louis had Harry in his arms and Harry was snuggled up to Louis. They looked so peaceful. A pity that Niall had to wake them up now. He gently shook Louis' shoulder until he looked at him. “Sorry, but we have to get up” apologized Niall pitiful.</p><p>Louis looked sleepily at Harry and was visibly startled. Carefully, he tried to pull his arm back, but Harry held him tight and wanted to pull him closer. “No, warm” he mumbled sleepily.</p><p>“Hazza, we have to get up” whispered Louis softly.</p><p>Slightly, Harry turned in Louis' arms. When he opened his eyes and noticed their position his facial expression changed directly. “Sorry, Lou. I um ...”.</p><p>“All right, Haz. Warm is just fine with me, but we should get up before Liam pulls us out of bed” chuckled Louis with a sunny smile.</p><p>“Oh yeah, yes” stammered Harry, pulling himself out of Louis' arms.</p><p>Both got up and noticed at the same time as Niall that they were wearing their clothes from the day before. “Zayn, get up” kicked Niall him in the back.</p><p>“Does one of you know what happened? Why are we dressed and where is Liam?” began Louis to panic.</p><p>“I can't remember anything. Not how we got here, nor anything up to after our departure to buy burger” tried Harry to remember.</p><p>“This typical emptiness can only mean one thing” started Niall scared.</p><p>“Moonstruck” gasped Zayn, still half asleep.</p><p>“How could that happen? We have to find Liam, it's his house. He has to be here somewhere” decided Louis and left the room.</p><p>Niall and Harry followed him directly while Zayn stood up slowly. They searched in the kitchen, in the living room, in the bathrooms, even in the guest room, but nowhere was Liam to be found.</p><p>“I'll call him now” dialled Niall his number. Shortly after, a mobile phone rang from the living room. Liam's phone was next to the open laptop. No matter where he was, he didn't have the phone with him.</p><p>“I don't like that at all” noted Louis timidly.</p><p>Niall could only agree. He didn't like it either. They had no memories of last night and Liam was gone. He had a bad feeling about it.</p><p>“You should check this out. These are the news of this morning. Yesterday there were unusual natural disasters around the island circle. Thunderstorms, an Earthquake, a Tornado and a fucking Blizzard. You all know what this means” came Zayn to them with his phone in his hand.</p><p>“Liam was out there. Something bad might have happened to him because of us. He just wanted to help us and we probably did something terrible” worried Louis about Liam.</p><p>“We have to find him,” said Niall firmly.</p><p>“And school?” asked Zayn dumbfounded.</p><p>“Since when are you interested in school? Liam is gone, so it's not hard for me to decide what's more important” bitched Niall at Zayn.</p><p>“It's alright, let's go” gave Zayn in.</p><p>“I'm texting Vilu on the way that we're not coming in. I'm figuring something out. The last time I wasn't there without saying anything, you almost knocked my house down” told Louis them amused.</p><p>“We were worried. You can't hold that against us” moaned Zayn.</p><p>The four of them walked to the harbour, which was mostly empty at this time of day. No one was here and the fishermen were gone long ago. They jumped into the water and swam as fast as they could to the islands. This was actually the first time that all four of them were swimming after all this crap. They haven't been swimming lately. The stress had spoiled their fun.</p><p>Arriving at the water island Lacusio, because Zayn had had a feeling that's where they should head to, Harry quickly dried the other ones, which almost went wrong several times in between because it was too hot and too fast and the fire was everywhere and he somehow couldn't control it.</p><p>“I have a strange feeling we should head to the grotto first,” told Zayn them.</p><p>Nobody questioned it. They had learned by now that Zayn's sudden feelings were always right. Quickly, they made their way to the cave entrance and almost ran to the grotto. On the edge lay Liam with his head down and didn't move. Immediately, they all felt immensely guilty.</p><p>“Liam?” listened Niall carefully as he approached.</p><p>Liam stirred a bit before he slightly opened his eyes and looked up at his friends. Something like fear flashed through them but then it was gone the next second. He looked around and his gaze turned upwards to the opening of the volcano.</p><p>“It's over” croaked Liam out with a raspy voice.</p><p>“What's over?” frowned Niall. He tried to overlook the dried blood on Liam's forehead.</p><p>“You can't remember, can you?” asked Liam knowingly. They shook their heads. “Last night you've been on the air island Caelia close to that water circle. I followed you there but when I arrived you were in some kind of trance. Typical for the Moon, I guess. When I tried talking to you, you became angry and threw me into the water and I ended up in the volcano due to your powers, which were much stronger. Those creations of you were violent”.</p><p>“We did this to you?” whined Louis ashamed.</p><p>“You were not yourselves; I know that. Still, it was scary” shuddered Liam at the thought.</p><p>“I'm so sorry, Liam. I feel terrible” apologized Louis shamefully.</p><p>“Please, don't blame yourself. You can't help it” asked Liam of him.</p><p>“You said something about creations? What do you mean by that?” checked Niall sceptically.</p><p>“You created an earthquake and a mixed-up Blizzard. You couldn't do that before. That's for sure” reported Liam still a bit shaken.</p><p>“That would explain why my powers were so funny” concluded Harry cognizant.</p><p>“Great. So now we have stronger powers on a full moon” sighed Zayn annoyed.</p><p>“We can think about that later. First of all, we should take you home” turned Niall around to Liam.</p><p>He clumsily stood up and made his way over to the other island with the others back to his abandoned boat, which was still lying on the shore of Caelia.</p><p>“And school?” asked Liam when they were in the middle of the water.</p><p>“Back to the old” laughed Niall with Louis and Harry.</p><p> </p>
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<a name="section0022"><h2>22. 23.1 Earthquakes; Tornados and Blizzards</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>On Tuesday after Biology, Louis was on his way from the staff room to the exit. Niall was already on the way to the Sea Snack and Zayn had to go home quickly. Liam wanted to wait for him and where Harry was Louis didn't know. His head almost burst as full as it was. Worry about the next exam, the full moon they still couldn't remember and worry about Harry or rather his feelings for Harry. He had admitted that he still had a crush on him, but he was afraid of what might come out of it.</p><p>At the moment, it was just a crush, but what would that look like in a month? Harry made a change and became nicer and more understanding with each passing day. He became more and more the person Louis had always sought. Except for this tiny detail. Louis urgently needed to distract himself and maybe give someone else the chance to take Harry's place in his heart. That would be best for everyone.</p><p>He was just walking across the yard when he spotted the water dripping down from the roof of the school. Someone had been careless probably but this now caused him a huge problem. This was his only way but he couldn't get wet. Not even a tiny bit. He concentrated on the water and turned his hand. But the water didn't move in the direction as he wanted it to. Instead, it suddenly started to get pretty windy. Louis was still trying to move the water, but with every passing second the wind picked up and students were running around, screaming. It picked up so much that the wind huddled up in the middle of the schoolyard and turned into a little hurricane form. Like a baby tornado. Louis quickly dropped his hand at this sight and the hurricane baby disappeared.</p><p>Liam suddenly turned up next to him pulled Louis out of school with him. “What was that?”.</p><p>“I dunno. I wanted to move the dripping water away for safety's sake, but suddenly the wind got out of control” reported Louis confused.</p><p>“Sounds very much like Sunday night” mused Liam.</p><p>“Do you think there's a connection?” wondered Louis helplessly.</p><p>“It's possible. We should talk to the others. To the Sea Snack”.</p><p> </p><p>...<br/><br/></p><p>At the same time, Zayn went to the bathroom. His mother had just told him that they would spend the next two days in Sydney and that they as a family would be there for the holidays too with Zayn. At least, he came out of this town this way. He had to leave all the drama for a short time.</p><p>While he opened the bathroom door, he thought about Liam. Zayn knew the other three had forgiven him, but he just couldn't do it. Really angry Zayn wasn't anymore and he was glad to have Liam back with them and to have the old Liam back, but he felt still betrayed. The betrayal was probably worse if you loved the person, Zayn thought.</p><p>As he closed the door, he saw water on the floor like someone just had a water fight in here. He just knew who was behind this.</p><p>“Zara, why the fuck did you flood the bathroom? Some people need to use the loo” screamed Zayn through the house to his sister.</p><p>“Don't be such a pussy. I was just getting ready” screamed Zara back.</p><p>“For what? A competition for who can get wet the fastest?” groaned Zayn annoyed as his sister Zara came over to him.</p><p>“You're definitely not funny at all” crossed Zara her arms over her chest.</p><p>“How am I supposed to take a wee now, little one?” huffed Zayn, ignoring her comment.</p><p>“Just step over it or clean it up. I don't care. I have to go. I'm going to your boyfriend’s house. Anything you need?” put Zara her hands on her hips.</p><p>“Why are you going to Louis' house?” raised Zayn an eyebrow at her.</p><p>“So, you admit he's your boyfriend now?” smirked Zara at her brother. Zayn just slapped her shoulder. “Fine. I shut up. Well, you're not the only one who is welcome at the Tomlinson's house. I'm literally part of the family too”.</p><p>“Funnily enough I've never seen you there before” countered Zayn cockily.</p><p>“Because me and the girls, as in your boyfriend's sisters, are always staying here. We don't wanna see you jumping on each other” sassed his sister back.</p><p>“You're way too young to say something like that” snorted Zayn.</p><p>“Whatever, you pussy. I have to go now. We wanna talk about the storms on the foreign islands, so get out of my way” shooed Zara Zayn away.</p><p>“Foreign islands? Why?” frowned Zayn.</p><p>“Because they're hella interesting, duh. We're obsessed with them” tapped Zara his forehead and left. Zayn just looked after her. They should probably keep an eye on their sisters or they could get in trouble and no big brother would want that for their sister.</p><p>He closed the door and turned around to the toilet. Everywhere was water. With a quick hand, he froze it. He stepped over it and took his needed wee. Behind him, he heard a faint crunching and crackling. Warily, he turned around and startled at the sight. The bathtub was frozen from top to bottom in a thick layer of ice and little snowflakes were falling from the ceiling out of nowhere. Stunned, he stared from the ice to his hands. Did he do this?</p><p>Shortly after, he left the house and ran to the Sea Snack. He had to talk to his friends.</p><p> </p><p>...</p><p>
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</p><p>After the Mandarin class, Harry couldn't get rid of Sean. He talked to him almost all the way home. It was a mix of insults, reproaches and memories of the old days. But all attempts were in vain. Harry just ignored him and was glad when their ways parted.</p><p>When he entered the house, only silence came to him. His dad was still in the office, thankfully. Exhausted, he entered his room. There was always something going on. After not going to school yesterday, Harry spent all day looking for things from his mother but found nothing. Not even old photos. Slowly, Harry believed that Louis was right. How could Louis see this through so quickly and Harry overlooked it for so long? He felt pretty stupid. That was nothing new. He was a big disappointment for everyone.</p><p>Humming, he threw his school things on the table and then heard a clack. He approached the desk and saw the overturned glass, which now wet his sweatpants. He put the glass back down and held his hand over his pants. Suddenly, a flash of lightning flashed out of nowhere outside and there was the smell of fire. Terrified, he looked at his burning pants. He reflexively knocked them out to extinguish the flame and prevent the fire alarm from reaching the house and exposing him as a tuna.</p><p>Panting, he leaned against the wall. Where did the lightning come from? That was too much for him. He had just come home but immediately ran out of the room again.</p><p>“Sarah, I'm off again. Don't wait for me!” he called as he left the house.</p><p>After all, the staff seemed to take care of him and worry about him, more than he ever realised, and lately, they seemed to really like him. Harry didn't like the word staff anymore. It sounded so distant and cold. For him, people like Sarah have become family and all thanks to his new friends. The thought made him grin like an idiot while he ran to the Sea Snack.</p><p> </p><p>...</p><p>
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</p><p>Niall was mixing some smoothies and serving the customers at the moment. He liked his job but because of the band, he worked less here. At first, he didn't want that because of the money, but for the performances, the guys actually got money so it came out the same. He worked only Wednesday until Friday, but mostly only Thursday and Friday. Today he worked for a sick colleague because the rehearsal didn't take place anyway.</p><p>Niall's thoughts wandered to his mother. Every day, from morning to night, she worked in that dingy kiosk, double shifts at least, just to care for them and that Niall was fine, or for that he got not noticed in school and could be labelled as poor. He didn't care about that. He only wanted his mother to be fine, but this work ruined her. Especially the night shifts. He didn't want to imagine all those strange customers at night. Niall knew the money worries they always had. That's why he tried to help her as good as possible with this job or the band's money. But it wasn't enough. His mother was ill in the last few weeks, but she pretended that nothing was wrong. He needed an idea to help her. The darkness was trying to overcome him again.</p><p>Lost in thoughts, he cramped his hand whereupon the ground underneath his feet began to shake. Immediately, he stopped and looked up. Did he just make the earth shake?</p><p>“Phil, I'll take my break” called Niall to his boss, who nodded to him.</p><p>Niall threw the apron into the storage room and was about to leave when through one door Louis and Liam came in and through another Zayn, followed by Harry. That's called perfect timing. Five of them sat down at a table in the corner and just looked at each other. Everyone thought the same but nobody wanted to say it.</p><p>Finally, Zayn was tired of the silence. “Not only on a full moon”.<br/><br/><br/></p><p><br/>---&gt;</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The boys met in a place that was far away. At most hikers came here once over. Around them were sea, beach, rocks, meadow, bushes and a forest behind them. The perfect place to train or rather explore their new powers. Liam had a full backpack of funny things. Balloons, towels, snow globes.</p><p>“Well, I've thought it would be useful to first test your limits before we try to return to the small dimension,” told Liam them his plan.</p><p>“I don't understand a word” blinked Niall confused.</p><p>“Your new powers are opening up bigger dimensions for you. It's great, but we don't know how big and what that means. So, you should try it out. One after the other” spoke Liam words all of them understood.</p><p>“You mean just go for it?” became Niall quite restless.</p><p>“Oh God, that can be funny” sighed Harry out.</p><p>“Earthquake right? We should get under the trees” thought Liam logically but it made no sense.</p><p>Louis walked under a tree with Harry and Zayn and watched Niall closely. He looked down at the ground, stretched his hand out and curled his fingers. Immediately, the earth began to wobble underneath their feet. The more Niall bent his fingers the more the shaking increased. Experimentally, he turned his entire hand and suddenly a crack in the ground opened and Niall fell down on his bum.</p><p>“I think that's enough, Niall!” shouted Liam to him. Seconds later the shaking stopped and everything was back to normal.</p><p>“Who wants next?” turned Liam around to the other three. “Louis, you maybe?”.</p><p>“Yes, Lou, blow me away” wiggled Harry his eyebrows.</p><p>“Loving, but why don't you strike me with lightning?” winked Louis at him with a grin.</p><p>“Aye, lovebirds, you can flirt later. I will not summon a blizzard on the beach today” helped Zayn Niall to his feet.</p><p>Louis cleared his throat, avoiding Harry's gaze and focused instead on his powers. He made his usual hand movement and instead of the normal reaction, it became windy. Very windy. He turned and turned his hand and the wind became a big storm. With fear of his own strength, he dropped his hand and it stopped immediately. He wasn't keen on creating another tornado. He was still afraid of thunderstorms. That was pure Irony.</p><p>Nobody commented on what had happened and Harry went straight to work next. Dark clouds opened in which lightning flashed. Thunder rumble was heard and a lightning bolt after the next struck. After a few seconds, Harry stopped again. These forces could be quite dangerous.</p><p>“Great. Now we know the approximate extent. Next, we should practice your previous skills more targeted so you don't suddenly burn up the school” suggested Liam like a teacher.</p><p>“But that would be pretty cool” grinned Niall.</p><p>“Harry, try to dry this towel, but careful” held Liam out a wet towel to Harry.</p><p>Harry held his hand over it as usual, slowly fisting. First, it steamed as always, but then the towel suddenly started to burn. Startled, Liam dropped it and Harry jumped back. The disappointment could Louis clearly see in his face.</p><p>“Can happen. Niall, your turn now” handed Liam him the snow globe.</p><p>“A snow globe?” looked Niall awry.</p><p>“I didn't find anything else. There's a bit of earth in this one. That'll be enough” defended Liam himself.</p><p>Niall just shrugged and made his normal hand movement. A tiny flower rose out of the earth and Niall let out a sigh of relief. He turned his hand around until the globe suddenly cracked and burst into pieces.</p><p>“Oops. I'll buy you a new one” scratched Niall his neck awkwardly.</p><p>“It's okay. Zayn, now you. Freeze them” pointed Liam at the balloons.</p><p>Louis noticed how tense Zayn was. It was silly for him near Liam. That could only go wrong. Zayn put his hand on the balloons and froze one of them. A second later it burst and everyone jumped. Now the other balloons and the backpack were frozen and covered in snow with snowflakes falling from the sky.</p><p>“Next time, it works. I'm sure. You just have to …”.</p><p>“You have no idea what I have to do. Stop pretending you'd know what's going on here. Stop pretending that you're interested!” Zayn furiously cut Liam off. He picked up his bag and stalked away. The others looked after him. Liam looked very sad to the ground.</p><p>“I'll talk to him” sighed Louis and followed him.</p><p>“Thank you, Louis” called Liam after him.</p><p>Louis had soon caught up with him. Zayn was on his way home. Louis joined him, both said nothing. He knew that Zayn knew what he wanted and that they would talk as soon as they were in Zayn's room. As always.<br/><br/><br/><br/></p><p>...</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“I don't know. I just can't handle him normally” sighed Zayn desperately and dropped onto his pillow.</p><p>“I understand that, Joey. Better than anyone else. It's hard to digest a disappointment, especially if you care about the person” understood Louis his dilemma.</p><p>“It's ... I ... I just can't forget it. He said so many things to me, but the worst part was the breach of trust after everything that has happened to us” tried Zayn to put his feelings into words.</p><p>“You mean with Harry?” inquired Louis shrewd.</p><p>“Yeah. I never thought I would mistrust Liam” confessed Zayn sheepishly.</p><p>“I feel the same way. He was always the most trustworthy. But Zayn, everyone makes mistakes” he smiled at him as Zayn sat down normally.</p><p>“I know and I want to forgive him, really, but I just can't. I feel so betrayed, so …” cracked Zayn's voice as tears began to build.</p><p>“Let it out, Joey. I'm here” soothed Louis him calmly.</p><p>Slowly, tears rolled down Zayn's face and he fell into Louis' arms. “He simply didn't believe me. He thought I would hold him back”.</p><p>“He stepped on your already broken heart again, right?” Louis immediately recognized the main problem. Zayn just nodded. “You have to talk urgently”.</p><p>“That's what I want, but it doesn't look like he wants to. He doesn't look for a conversation with me. Just pretends it's nothing. It just makes it so much worse” let Zayn Louis go, rubbing his tear-stained eyes.</p><p>“You will find an opportunity. It's always harder to forgive someone if the person is very important to you” was Louis sure.</p><p>“Was the same with Harry, right?” changed Zayn the subject.</p><p>“At least similar” muttered Louis.</p><p>“How are you doing with that? Everything good?” asked Zayn anxiously.</p><p>“It works somehow. I'm happy when he's with me, but it's hard to keep the emotions in check. I think I should see other people, not limit myself to Harry because that's pointless” revealed Louis honestly what he thought.</p><p>“You mean go out with boys? Do you think that's a good idea?” expressed Zayn doubt.</p><p>“Others go out all the time, why don't I?” shrugged Louis unchanged.</p><p>“Well, first of all, it doesn't suit you. You're not a half-time guy or anything. And secondly, we both know that new people mean new trust and new problems, let alone heartbreak. Louis, you've already been through enough, especially in the last few weeks. Let's take it easy. You can end your crush differently” pointed Zayn out.</p><p>Louis knew that he was right. He couldn't let new people get close to him even if he wanted to, but he didn't want to do that either. He wasn't a guy for one night. This was a freaking mess.</p><p>“Maybe I should be able to do it all. I don't find love anyway. I don't deserve it. Why not doing what everyone thinks of me and just have fun? Harry does it or Sean or …” stopped Louis before finishing his sentence.</p><p>“Kyle?” knew Zayn exactly what he wanted to say. Louis nodded and stared at his fingers. “Louis, I never wanna hear that again, yeah? Forget what that bastard said. You deserve love, more than most, and you'll find it. You're not a bitch. That's what he says just to make you feel bad. He evaluates you. Sean as well. These are not people you can listen to. Trust me when I tell you, you're precious and special. They don't deserve you, Tommy”.</p><p>It was hard for Louis to believe that, but the sincerity in Zayn's eyes was undeniable. It was time for Louis to stop doubting that and to give Zayn's words even more credence.</p><p>“How did we get back from Liam and you to Harry and my quirks?” shook Louis his head.</p><p>Hearing that, Zayn stroked Louis' wrist and Louis simply nodded to him. He pulled up his sleeve and looked at the bare skin. The old faded scars reminded him of his low points, but new ones were not visible. Louis was very proud of that.</p><p>“It's gotten better and there's not much urge left to do it again,” said Louis contentedly to Zayn.</p><p>“I'm glad. I'm always here when it gets too bad” smiled Zayn at him.</p><p>“I know. What about you? No panic attack?” was Louis worried about Zayn's mental state.</p><p>“Not since the last one when you were there. Thanks again. That helped a lot” thanked Zayn him again.</p><p>“Oh, man. We are really two completely broken souls. We could only find each other” laughed Louis, dropping with his back on the bed.</p><p>“Yeah, and no solution in sight” added Zayn half-seriously, half-jokingly.</p><p>“No one will ever understand us” sighed Louis sadly.</p><p>“We have us. To the Zouis wedding” grinned Zayn bravely.</p><p>“To the Zouis wedding”.<br/><br/><br/><br/></p><p><br/>---&gt;<br/><br/></p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Okay. Does one of you know why we're here?” asked Harry as all four stood at the same spot at the edge of the water by the island circle, Circulus Ex Elementis.</p><p>“Dunno. Liam said we should meet here” replied Niall without a clue.</p><p>“And for what? Are we now in a crime movie where you have to go back to the scene of the crime?” whined Zayn impatiently.</p><p>“No, we're here to improve your ability to control your new powers” emerged Liam out of nowhere.</p><p>“And how do you know what helps there?” glared Zayn at him.</p><p>“I thought about some possible ways for you guys” ignored Liam Zayn's quivers and marched straight to the water.</p><p>“Are we back in nursery school now? I have a life, you know?” moaned Harry as Liam wanted them to line up next to each other.</p><p>“Yeah. Hundreds of girls are waiting for him while we're here” snickered Niall causing Harry to glare at him.</p><p>“Okay, now do what you normally do, just less” directed Liam to Harry.</p><p>“That's so boring” grimaced Harry.</p><p>“Just do it” ordered Liam sternly.</p><p>“Liam, are you sure about this?” asked Niall sceptically.</p><p>“Yes, I am” answered Liam too loudly and quickly as if he was snapped that they questioned his methods.</p><p>Harry stood at the edge of the island circle and studied the surface. Bored, he opened his hand, snapped his fingers and created a normal burning flame in his hand like nothing has changed. Then he spread his hand and slowly began to pull his fingers together. At first, the water began to tassel. Then he bent his fingers and it started to boil. When he had half-clenched his hand, the water suddenly caught fire. Startled, Harry backed away.</p><p>“Whoa, Whoa Stop. That's enough” screamed Liam and Harry withdrew his hand. Immediately, the fire disappeared again. Easily, Harry had to laugh. “That was not a good thing,” remarked Liam serious.</p><p>“Are you kidding? That was fantastic. I set water on fire” said Harry enthusiastically.</p><p>“Okay, next one” clapped Liam into his hands.</p><p>Zayn stepped forward and focused on the water surface. Slowly, he reached out his hand and part of the water froze. The first snowflake fell from the sky and the next second, the ice rose higher before it burst and shattered in all directions. Liam backed away and Zayn dropped his head in disappointment.</p><p>“Um, okay. Niall, now you” continued Liam motivated.</p><p>“I will not do that” clarified Niall stubbornly.</p><p>“Now don't act like that. Let's go!” demanded Liam.</p><p>“Certainly not. I'm not keen on burying all of us underneath rocks” gave Niall cause for concern.</p><p>“Alright. Louis, then you” grumbled Liam. Louis felt like he was cornered. “You don't have to worry. I'll be right behind you” assured Liam, pulling Louis forward.</p><p>“That's something” mumbled Louis uncertainly.</p><p>“Please Louis, just try. Just concentrate on your powers for me” asked Liam in a caustic voice as if he was talking to a small child. Niall and Harry just looked at each other weirdly and Zayn rolled his eyes annoyed.</p><p>“Okay. I'm trying, just stay back a bit”. Louis could feel a headache on its way.</p><p>“Of course” took Liam a step back.</p><p>Louis tried to shut him out and focus on the water, but Liam had other plans. “Zayn, you can try it again. You just have to do less and then it will work” whispered Liam to Zayn.</p><p>“If you think so” grumbled Zayn annoyed.</p><p>“You all just have to relax a bit more and really concentrate. Oh and Louis, shall I …”.</p><p>“Shut up” snapped Louis at him angrily with a raised hand that was supposed to be over the water.</p><p>Instead of a small breeze in the air, it got pretty windy now and Liam stumbled a bit before he fell over his feet and crashed hard into the water. Immediately, Louis pulled his hand back and the wind stopped. Harry, Niall and Zayn were now standing next to him, watching Liam in the water.</p><p>“That was probably planed differently” chuckled Harry, trying to stifle his laughter.</p><p>“Ey” pushed Louis him against the arm.</p><p>“I'd say it's over for today” was the only thing Zayn said while walking to the exit with Louis and Harry.</p><p>Niall stopped and waited for Liam, who stepped out of the water and dropped to the ground. “What did I do wrong?”.</p><p>“You didn't directly do something wrong, Li. It's just …” trailed Niall off as he sat next to him.</p><p>“What is it?” Liam wanted to know.</p><p>“Do it a little slower, let us breathe. Don't overdo it. You don't need to. Just be our friend like you have always been. You don’t have to forcedly prove that you’re here now” told Niall him.</p><p>“Maybe you're right” saw Liam his mistake.</p><p>“When am I not?” grinned Niall conceitedly.</p><p>“Should I really answer that?” raised Liam an eyebrow.</p><p>“Better not. Let's go, otherwise the three leave without us” got Niall up.</p><p>Together they left and went to Liam's boat to go home. It was pretty dark outside. At least nine in the afternoon. Luckily, tomorrow was Friday.<br/><br/></p>
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<a name="section0023"><h2>23. 23.3 Simplicity Is The Key To Everything</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Do guys actually read the chapter names and think about them? I'd really like to know that. <br/>Oh, and a trigger warning.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>As Zayn was sitting in his art class, all the burden and grief of the last days fell away from him. The conversation with Louis had helped him a lot and he knew he had to talk to Liam someday. But not now. Now he was waiting for his teacher, who was a little late. This advanced art class on Friday morning was Zayn's favourite lesson. Here he always learned something new. Different techniques that were helpful for the normal art class and will hopefully help him with his final term project.</p><p>Abruptly, his teacher came in and put her things on the desk. “Okay students, today we will go over some precise black and white drawing techniques. You have to make exact little movements”.</p><p>After her short announcement, she distributed the pencils and Zayn took out his papers. He took a fine pencil and put it on the sheet of paper. He thought of the sea and the many birds flying over it. Saw the clouds, the sun. He drew the details as precisely as possible. He had to move his hand very slowly and carefully and make many small movements.</p><p>“That looks pretty good, Zayn” his teacher praised him proudly.</p><p>“You have to work very closely. If you want to rejoice the whole you have to see it in the smallest way because the real magic is always in the detail. Only the simple way makes sure you can catch the typical“ she reminded the students.</p><p>This advice let Zayn falter and he lowered the pencil. He stared at his drawing, then back at the pencil. Slowly, he put the pencil back on the paper and carefully followed a few of the curved lines. Large dimensions could be achieved with art, but only the ability to work in the smallest dimensions made an amateur a true artist. Zayn now knew what he had to do.</p><p>“You can use this technique well for your project. On Monday you will learn what the task is, but let me tell you, it will please you” she gave them a hint.</p><p>As the class was over, Zayn quickly cleared his things away, picked up his bag and rummaged for his cell phone. The others should now also come from the choir, physics and football. He could just tell them, but for Maths their ways parted again. That's why he quickly typed a message and sent it to the group chat before he went to Maths class.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>From Zaddy:</b>
</p><p>“<em>I think I now know how to control our powers. Come to mine after my shift and be prepared to make your hands dirty”.<br/><br/><br/><br/></em></p><p>...</p><p>
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</p><p> </p><p>In the late afternoon, the five boys were gathered in Zayn's bedroom. Liam sat on Zayn's bed with a thick book and leafed through it. The other four found themselves in front of empty drawing pads and no longer understood the world.</p><p>“Zayn, why am I staring at an empty sheet of paper?” wondered Niall dumbfounded.</p><p>“I've given up trying to fathom your stupidity, but you're supposed to draw something right away. You'll get that, right?” answered Zayn very slowly.</p><p>“I hate you” hissed Niall.</p><p>“So, you have your stuff. Now draw something and only use the most precise and exact movements possible. The smaller the better” gave Zayn them the task from earlier.</p><p>“And for what?” Harry wanted to know.</p><p>“Just do it. Explanations will follow later” ordered Zayn stubbornly.</p><p>Without another word, Niall, Louis and Harry began to draw something. Zayn tried so hard not to laugh at the miserable attempts. They really were no artists. But actually, only Niall was a hopeless case. Harry's whatever it was didn't look bad at all and Louis only needed some help and it would even look good.</p><p>“Stop. You're gonna stick out someone's eyes. What did the paper do to you?” snickered Zayn, taking away Niall's pencil.</p><p>“That's not my fault if the pencil doesn't work. I'll give up. I can't fucking draw” claimed Niall strangely. Zayn shook his head while Niall sat down next to Liam with his drawing pad on his lap.</p><p>Now Zayn stood behind Louis and looked at his work. He<span> worked on a pencil drawing in black and white with different levels of brightness and shades of the surfaces. In order to achieve a good result, you had to draw very precisely and carefully and create the lines with verve. </span>Slowly, Zayn stroked Louis’ back. Immediately, he felt three glances on them. One amused and two overwhelmed.</p><p>“You have to do more precise movements, Darling. Fine lines. Do it like football. You have to prepare your passes precisely and you can't just shoot them. Slowly and carefully, with feeling. Think of football” whispered Zayn against his ear. He felt Louis grinning widely.</p><p>“Think of sex” someone called in between.</p><p>“Shut up, Harry” grumbled Zayn.</p><p>“That wasn't me” pouted Harry offended. Niall's loud laugh gave away that he said it.</p><p>“If you want to rejoice the whole you have to see it in the smallest way because the real magic is always in the detail. Only the simple way makes sure you can catch the typical” led Zayn Louis' hand with the pencil over the paper.</p><p>“Okay, now the gay artist is really coming through” cackled Niall and fell to the floor.</p><p>“I feel like we're in a cheesy movie but sadly not alone” chuckled Louis cutely.</p><p>“So, we are more like a live-action drama play? “hooked Zayn in amusement.</p><p>“That's so romantic, Zayn. The honeymoon can only be good” exaggerated Louis excessively.</p><p>“Always with you, Honey”.</p><p>“I have to vomit right now as cheesy as you are” laughed Niall while fake gagging.</p><p>Zayn now let go of Louis' hand and took a step away from him. “You know how to ruin the mood”.</p><p>“Oh, Love. We've got all the time in the world when we're alone” winked Louis at him.</p><p>A clink and drop of water caused Zayn and Louis to flinch, both looking at Harry. He looked ashamed of himself at his glass of water that he had turned over somehow.</p><p>“How did you do that?” chuckled Zayn amused.</p><p>“I was err ... shortly distracted um ...” cleared Harry his throat.</p><p>“I see this as a protest against this marriage. Harry, I'll help you. That must be stopped” threw Niall in.</p><p>“Weren't you a pro-Zouis?” wondered Zayn entertained.</p><p>“You are far too cheesy for your own good. Also, maybe other people want something from you, Zayn or from Tommo. Don't be so selfish” explicated Niall weirdly.</p><p>“Are you jealous? We can make three out of it” suggested Louis funnily.</p><p>“That's too much for me. Didn't you want to train your powers?” spoke Liam up tensely.</p><p>“He's right. What now, Zayn?” agreed Harry fast.</p><p>“Mood killer” grumbled Niall.</p><p>“You're one to talk” remarked Louis cheekily.</p><p>“Right, um ... I hope you all have a feeling for the small movements now. Just try it out with your powers” instructed Zayn.</p><p>He himself put his hand on a glass of water, moved his hand very lightly and froze the water as before. Niall behind him made a short movement and the next second a small flower appeared but no earth-shaking. Louis beside him created a small breeze without creating a tornado. He had gotten used to his air powers by now. Harry in front of him made the water boil without setting it on fire. Relieved and happy, they looked at each other.</p><p>“It worked” was Niall pleased.</p><p>“Wow Zayn, a great idea” confessed Harry impressed.</p><p>“Joey, you're amazing” grinned Louis, hugging him. Zayn was so overwhelmed that he staggered backwards and fell on the bed next to Liam with Louis on top of him.</p><p>“Nice view” sniggered Louis as he looked down on Zayn.</p><p>“Could say the same. Your biceps looked great when drawing, but even better now” replied Zayn seductively, stroking over Louis' biceps with his finger.</p><p>“Thank you, Honey Bee” pretended Louis to be flustered.</p><p>“Let's interfere with Zouis sex,” told Niall Harry and Liam and threw himself on top of them.</p><p>Louis was thereby pressed even closer to Zayn while Niall spread out on Louis' back. Harry threw himself on Niall and Niall pulled Liam into the pile. Zayn was almost crushed underneath their weight. His face was only inches away from Louis' now. That was pretty funny.</p><p>“Okay guys, get off my ass or you'll regret it” laughed Louis, breathing heavily.</p><p>“Is that uncomfortable for you?” grinned Niall evilly, wiggling his hip as best he could.</p><p>“Eww Niall, you're disgusting” gagged Zayn and started shoving the others away from him except for Louis.</p><p>“Hello there, Beauty” ruffled Zayn his hair.</p><p>“Always so touchy. But I don't really want spectators, Sugar Doll” rolled Louis his eyes.</p><p>“I like to show you off, Tiger” grinned Zayn brightly.</p><p>“Tiger? Don't exaggerate. He looks like a baby hedgehog” laughed Niall like he was crazy.</p><p>“Maybe, but he is a tiger anyway” marked Zayn when Louis finally decided to get up.</p><p>“I want details” urged Niall madly.</p><p>“I don't kiss and tell” sealed Louis his lips with an invisible key.</p><p>“Meh. What do we do now if the two don't want to tell dirty stories?” asked Niall Harry and Liam.</p><p>“I would like to change clothes at last. Feel like chilling at mine?” suggested Louis, still wearing his sports gear from training.</p><p>“Sounds like fun,” said Liam, staring at them weirdly.</p><p>“As long as you guys can hold yourselves back” added Niall warningly but still playful.</p><p>“No promises” winked Zayn at him as he got up.</p><p>“I need a camera!” exclaimed Niall excitedly.</p><p>“Louis, are you coming?” asked Harry, waiting at the door.</p><p>“Not yet, but I'm breathing fast” joked Louis, making Zayn and Niall laugh. Harry just opened his mouth but didn't say a word.</p><p>“Tommo, you're the best” Niall couldn't hold it in anymore.</p><p>“I know” sing-songed Louis as he hopped past them to the stairs.<br/><br/><br/><br/></p><p>...</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Niall, turn the music up” demanded Zayn cheerfully.</p><p>“Fortunately, my mother is in the cinema with my sisters, otherwise she would probably have us imprisoned” remarked Louis with amusement. Meanwhile, he had swapped his sportswear for comfortable grey sweatpants and a black t-shirt</p><p>“For you, I do everything, JoJo. You're the hero of the day” cackled Niall, turning the song louder. “Raphael, I love you. Please, keep me in hell with you” pleaded Niall at his phone.</p><p>“You already are” smirked Louis funny.</p><p>“Did you drink something?” Liam wanted to know.</p><p>“As far as I know, only energy juice” shrugged Niall.</p><p>“That explains everything,” said Liam with a grin.</p><p>“Come on, Nialler. Sing for us!” shouted Harry to him, his head resting on Louis' lap.</p><p>Niall began to sing loudly and after a short while the others joined in. And once again they wondered why Niall had so many questionable songs on his phone. He was probably not an innocent boy. For this one part of <em>In Hell With You</em>, Niall threw himself on the ground on his knees and literally pleaded with Zayn. Niall was really a funny bird sometimes. Next came a song from the rock band Snake Bed.</p><p>“I love that song!” exclaimed Zayn excitedly.</p><p>“Me too, ever since I'm little. Even though I had no idea of the text back then” gave Louis him a high five.</p><p>From the first word, Zayn and Louis sang along. Zayn was sitting next to Niall and Louis still had Harry's head on his lap. In the refrain, Niall sang along with them.</p><p>“Careful, Haz” whispered Louis as he pushed Harry's head off his lap because he knew that Zayn would now pull him over to him.</p><p>And that's exactly what he did. He pulled Louis to himself and together they threw themselves singing or rather screaming on the bed. Very close together, they kicked their feet in the air.</p><p>“Zouis, Zouis” cheered Niall again and again.</p><p>When the song was over, the two stayed there. They were too lazy to get up and lie down somewhere else. A song called <em>Closer To You</em> made them all look at Niall.</p><p>“Tell us, is it possible that you are desperate and have a little fun with the songs?” wondered Zayn seriously.</p><p>“Well, I just did NOT hear that. What can I do for the cunning world?” huffed Niall offended.</p><p>“He's right about that. Turn on the radio and you'll have sex” agreed Harry with him.</p><p>“But it's packed nicely. The song sounds good” said Louis to finish the topic.</p><p>“Yes Louis, come closer” laughed Zayn, pulling him close.</p><p>“What did we agree to? No sex while we're here” reminded Niall the two laughingly.</p><p>“That's a stupid deal” pouted Zayn. Louis hit him on the back of the head. “Ouch”.</p><p>“Really now?” Liam couldn't believe it when a certain slow song called <em>Lie To Me</em> of Niall’s guilty pleasure Elias Butler started.</p><p>“That's a great song” complained Niall sulkily.</p><p>“Very true” agreed Harry.</p><p>Louis visibly stiffened when he heard the text. He tried that one didn't notice, but Zayn noticed it immediately. Lying and toxic abusive relationships weren't a great song topic for him right now. Both boys sat up and Zayn caressed Louis' knee. Louis smiled weakly at him. Yes, it was a great song, but the lyrics pulled him down. Louis tried to laugh but noticed how Harry looked at him questioningly. <em>Great.</em></p><p>“Do you have anything else, Niall?” asked Liam, pointing slightly at Louis.</p><p>“Of course. How about a little upbeat again?” reacted Niall immediately and changed the song. The mood was a little easier, but Louis realized Harry was still just looking at him.</p><p>Liam started to sing and Niall grinned like crazy. It looked funny how he swung with the song. When Louis saw Liam, he couldn't hold back his laughter. He fell laughingly at Zayn, who tipped backwards. Niall took the female part and wiggled his hips. Liam pulled Niall over and together they finished the song.</p><p>“That was indescribable” laughed Louis, breathing heavily.</p><p>“Come on, Louis. Sing with me” handed Niall him a hand as the next song started. The two developed a proper dance routine for the song. On the left, the wave was to the left and the right rabbit jumps to the right. At the rap part, they stumbled hopelessly, which only made the mood even better.</p><p>“In fact, a good message” stated Harry wisely.</p><p>“Yes. Money doesn't make you happy” agreed Louis with him.</p><p>“Not really. I know that now” said Harry reasonably. Louis stroked his leg and rested his hand on his knee as the next song from Elias started. Everyone sighed synchronously.</p><p>“What? He's great” complained Niall again.</p><p>“I admit he has good songs” confessed Louis.</p><p>“Good songs? He's a God” exaggerated Niall massively.</p><p>“If you say so” grinned Harry amused.</p><p>“Then show us what you've got” demanded Zayn.</p><p>And that's exactly what Niall did. He was almost like an exact copy when he tried. They would never forget that again. Not in their entire life.</p><p>After that song, they let a few songs play in the background. They just lay there and talked about everything. Louis lay across Zayn while Harry had his head back on Louis' lap. Opposite them lay Niall leaning against Liam. Absently, Louis let his hand move into Harry's hair and twisted it between his fingers. As Harry moved his head, he realized what he was doing.</p><p>“Oh, sorry” pulled Louis his hand back.</p><p>“S'all right. I like it” wiggled Harry his head until Louis buried his hand in Harry's hair again.</p><p>“Louis, what's that?” asked Liam in surprise.</p><p>Louis looked at him slightly and saw that Liam had his notebook in his hand. He really had to learn to hide it better. “Oh, um, just two songs that I wrote um a while ago” stammered Louis.</p><p>“May I?” he asked for permission to read it. Louis nodded in agreement. He watched as Liam read the text and changed his facial expression. Sympathy and compassion were reflected in Liam's face.</p><p>“They are awesome” cleared Liam his throat and Louis knew instantly that Liam understood why he had written the songs. Zayn's grip on Louis grew stronger.</p><p>“Thanks. While we're at it. I actually thought we could sing it as a band” told Louis them.</p><p>Immediately, Niall and Zayn sat up, causing Louis to drop his head on the pillow. Harry sat down straight and looked at him questioningly.</p><p>“Really? Are you sure? We don't have to” prompted Niall surprised.</p><p>Louis had already had this inner struggle with himself. The songs were very personal and emotionally draining for him, but he had them written. In his opinion, he just had to let it out and was there a better way than with the band? No. He wasn't alone when he was so vulnerable then.</p><p>“I'm sure. That's a song's purpose” assured Louis them. Liam, Zayn and Niall immediately understood what Louis really wanted to say. “But it would be a bit late for tomorrow”.</p><p>“Not compelling. Remember our first song, which we only rehearsed once” reminded Liam them. Many memories are attached to the time. More bad than good.</p><p>“If we could do some rehearsals after your work tomorrow it might work out” was Harry looking for a way to do it.</p><p>“That sounds like a plan” nodded Zayn to him.</p><p>“I'm hungry” whined Niall suddenly.</p><p>“You're always hungry” shook Zayn his head.</p><p>Louis could only say “Cake's downstairs” before Niall jumped up and ran out of the room.</p><p>“I'll take care of him” laughed Zayn, following him.</p><p>“Some things never change” sighed Harry amused.</p><p>“Is that really okay, Louis? Don't feel pressured. We can write other songs” checked Liam to make sure.</p><p>“Stop worrying, it's okay. Difficult but okay” assured Louis him.</p><p>“I'm so sorry I wasn't there. I was so ignorant and let you down when you needed me the most” moved Liam closer and took his hands.</p><p>“It's okay. You're here now” whispered Louis softly.</p><p>“I feel so terrible because I was there but didn't notice anything. He was there and I ignored it” a tear rolled down his cheek.</p><p>“Oh God, Liam” sighed Louis, hugging him tightly. “You don't have to feel bad. I know you would change it if you could” whispered Louis.</p><p>“You're too good for the world” sniffed Liam as Louis let him go.</p><p>“Nonsense. How are you though? With Zayn?” Louis wanted to know.</p><p>“Horrible. It's terrible that he doesn't want to talk to me. I really disappointed him. He's so important to me and I hurt him. I'm at a loss” confessed Liam helplessly.</p><p>“Talk to him, but alone. Ask him to do it. Trust me, he wants that too. He misses you as much as you miss him” advised Louis him.</p><p>“I will. Thank you, Louis. What would we do without you?” thanked Liam him tearfully.</p><p>“Live without drama and unnecessary worry” mumbled Louis silently.</p><p>“Don't say that” sighed Liam. Louis looked at him and couldn't help but smile at him.</p><p>Only now did he notice how Harry was only watching the two. That he was sitting with them all the time Louis had completely forgotten. He was sure sooner or later Harry would ask again and Louis didn't know how long Harry still believed his excuses.</p><p>“We're back” announced Niall with cake in his mouth.</p><p>“It was awful” reported Zayn shocked.</p><p>“We should sleep. The music can stay on for a while though” suggested Liam. His eyes were still slightly red. Zayn looked questioningly at Louis and Louis gave him a look he directly understood.</p><p>“I'm sleeping next to Zayn” shouted Niall, throwing himself on one of the mattresses. Zayn lay down next to him while Liam lay down in front of the bed.</p><p>“Are you coming to me, Haz?” offered Louis Harry.</p><p>Beamingly, Harry nodded and lay down under the covers. Louis turned off the light and listened to the song in the background. With Harry next to him. Louis whispered the text softly. Harry turned to him, facing him. His eyes looked beautiful in the darkness of his room. The second verse whispered Harry softly and looked directly into Louis' eyes. At the refrain, both looked at the ceiling. Louis moved cautiously closer to Harry. His feelings got the best of him. Harry rested his head on Louis' chest and Louis wrapped his arm around Harry's back. He tried to calm his breathing and his heartbeat, but this closeness drove him crazy. He would never get closer to Harry than in this very moment and who knew if that would ever happen again. He sucked in every second as if it kept him alive.</p><p>So, he forgot the world when he lay there with Harry and fell asleep. <br/><br/></p><p> </p><p> </p><p>---&gt;</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>They rehearsed all Saturday, of course after work, until it was finally time for the performance. As always four songs, but this time two were especially emotional. They opened the show with <em>Perfect Liar</em>. It was strange for Louis to sing the song again now that everything had changed. But he couldn't really enjoy it, he was too nervous for that. When the song was finished he started to shake. This was it. Song number one.</p><p>“Today we have a new song for you, called <em>Fool For You</em>. I hope you like it” announced Liam cheerfully.</p><p>Harry opened the song and sounded rather nervous to Louis' astonishment. Presumably, he had transferred his nervousness to everyone.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Crying on the cold pavement cause of your ruthless </em>
  <em>statement</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Locking myself in the dark basement, missing your sweet </em>
  <em>fragrance</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Everything you ever did was for your pure entertainment</em>
</p><p>
  <em>You never gave a shit about me and already found a </em>
  <em>replacement</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Next came his part. His throat felt dry like a desert. He began to sing and suddenly felt alone. As if a big headlamp was just aimed at him and everyone was staring at him, just waiting for him to do something wrong or fail. Then suddenly he felt two familiar hands on his back, which encouraged him and gave him the feeling of not being lonely. It was Harry and Zayn.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>I was blinded by your innocent face</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And hypnotized by your spotless grace</em>
</p><p>
  <em>You whispered convincing words of endearment</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And were the first to make me feel good about my </em>
  <em>appearance </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Eventually, the refrain came in and a big load fell off his shoulders. The second verse was sung by Zayn and Liam. Niall had split the song but vowed he did not split it into ships. As if ...</p><p>But now came the really hard part for Louis. <em>Straight Faced Monster</em>. <em>Fool For You</em> was written out of the gut and sounded just like a normal heartbreak song of someone being fooled. On the other hand, <em>Straight Faced Monster</em> was emotionally much closer. It was about the cruelness of Kyle's actions and Louis' shattered heart.</p><p>Niall began to sing and Louis backed away a bit to disappear in the background. That his friends supported him so much made him very happy, but they couldn't take away all his worries. When Harry sang his part, Louis was frozen. Listening to the words, ironically sang by Harry who knew nothing, was strange, especially because he sounded as if he really felt it. Louis didn't sing very much alone because he simply couldn't trust himself with more.</p><p>It was hard for him to do that today but it felt right. It was a sensitive subject for him that gave him sleepless nights and brought forth many complexes but he didn't want to keep his mouth shut. He wanted to let his feelings out. To share them with the people. With people who might have been through something like that and whom he could help with. It was like a kind of liberation.</p><p>The only thing that worried him was that the gig would end up on the internet and Kyle could see it. He would know immediately what the matter was. Hopefully, that meant no new drama.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Burning fingertips all across my skin</em>
</p><p>
  <em>They’re a constant reminder of where you’ve been</em>
</p><p>
  <em>A painful memory of my failure</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Not worthy enough of a saviour</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Tried to rub you off of me</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Tried to wash me clean</em>
</p><p>
  <em>But no matter how hard I try to be free</em>
</p><p>
  <em>There will forever be traces of where I’ve been</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span class="u">Chorus:</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>I feel in love with a monster</em>
</p><p>
  <em>A cold straight-faced monster</em>
</p><p>
  <em>But maybe I’m a monster too for loving you</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Dirty; Insignificant; Misused; Broken and Bruised</em>
</p><p>
  <em>A broken heart and a shattered soul cause of all the pain</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Nothing left of myself, not more than a single crippled </em>
  <em>shred</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Worthless; Pathetic; Misplaced; Frozen and Disgraced</em>
</p><p>
  <em>A poor excuse of a human being, truly in vain</em>
</p><p>
  <em>How will I ever get these words out of my head?</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Can’t seem to let it all go</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Your words are ghosting around in my head painfully slow</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Loud and clear I can hear them just like when you said it</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Little Worthless Piece Of Shit</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>To lighten the sad mood they sang <em>Rock Me</em> at the end. A classic. Relieved and exhausted, the boys left the stage. That went not that bad. They went backstage and Phil opened the open stage night.</p><p>“Louis, I'm so damn proud of you” squeezed Zayn Louis and almost crushed him.</p><p>“Zayn. Air” breathed Louis out.</p><p>“Oh Sorry. I'm just so proud” repeated Zayn his words.</p><p>“Thanks. It feels good to carry it out into the world, somehow” confessed Louis meekly. He looked over to the stage and saw how their friends stepped onto the stage.</p><p>“We're <em>Boys Are Crazy</em> and that's our first gig, please be nice” introduced Max the band. Immediately, the guys turned their attention to their friends on stage.</p><p>“I hope you have fun” added Patrick and then they started to play.</p><p>They knew their friends were good, but shit, now they sounded even better. The song went straight in the ear and the people seemed to like it. The girls in the audience gave them heart eyes. If they only knew.</p><p>“They're damn good” whipped Niall to the beat.</p><p>“Oh yes, luckily they have listened to Harry” agreed Zayn rejoiced.</p><p>“They would have gotten that on their own” countered Harry humble.</p><p>“Don't be so modest. Doesn't suit you” grinned Zayn jokingly.</p><p>“Thanks, thank you. Wow, you are great” marvelled Luke Sebastian overwhelmed.</p><p>“Luke, we love you” screamed a couple of girls.</p><p>“Just so that's clear. This one belongs to me, just me” pulled Brandon Luke into his arms. The girls seemed to like it even better. “I'm Luke-sexual” announced Brandon proudly.</p><p>“Who isn't?” shouted Niall to the stage. All four had to laugh at that.</p><p>“There's something in it” Patrick had to admit.</p><p>“Good night,” they said goodbye and left the stage.</p><p>“You were great” congratulated Louis them.</p><p>“Thanks, we owe that to you,” said Luke gratefully.</p><p>“Sorry, I'm disturbing but you guys were great, just awesome” came Phil over to them. The boys turned bright red in the face. Abnormal because otherwise, they were always so crazy. “You must definitely perform again”</p><p>“Gladly” beamed Luke.</p><p>“One Direction and BAC. I'm a genius“ was Phil happy and left them alone.<br/><br/></p><p> </p><p>---&gt;</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Satisfied and in sweatpants and shirts, the five boys were lying on Louis' bed. Their heads formed a circle and their legs had stretched out or bent angled on the bed. They listened to music again. For an eternity.</p><p>“Slowly, I'm thinking about marrying Raphael myself, Niall” tittered Zayn like he was drunk.</p><p>“Forget it. I have the first rights” protested Niall.</p><p>“You allegedly had them with Louis too, and yet he belongs with me” countered Zayn evilly.</p><p>“You can't have both. That's unfair” pouted Niall outraged.</p><p>“Hey, I don't belong to anyone. Ownership is not cool” clarified Louis loudly.</p><p>“Maybe but when Donny told everyone that Luke was with him, it was really cute” objected Niall matter-off-factly.</p><p>“That was something different,” said Louis lightly.</p><p>“That was totally cute. Now everyone knows that if he only looks at Luke, Donny will kill him. I would not risk that” noted Zayn amused.</p><p>“Or her” raised Louis a finger.</p><p>“Right. It could also be a woman to steal Luke” agreed Niall merrily.</p><p>“But was Donny not clear enough?” wondered Zayn confused.</p><p>“You know, there are people who believe that the right girl could drive the gay out. She could fix us” hushed Louis his voice nasally.</p><p>“Oh right. We were cursed by the devil personally and need to be washed clean with holy water” laughed Zayn exaggeratedly.</p><p>“Stupid that it will not change anything” sing-songed Louis.</p><p>“A shame that unfortunately this type of therapy really does exist. Still. That should be forbidden” grumbled Niall suddenly.</p><p>“What therapy?” asked Harry confused.</p><p>“Conversion Therapy” replied Liam, saying the words like they were poisoned.</p><p>“And what is that supposed to be?” checked Harry unknowingly.</p><p>“Well, they're trying to fix you when you're gay. They are people who think you can drive it out, that you can turn somebody. Do it with violence” explained Liam in disgust.</p><p>“Why do they do that and how … I mean ...?” Harry could not believe it.</p><p>“You should google that. I will not put those words in my mouth” considered Liam Louis and Zayn but surprisingly, Louis spoke up.</p><p>“In this therapy, they talk to you, first of all. Tell you how wrong it is, how to heal you, how to fix it. They make you feel bad about yourself. Make you feel ashamed. In some cases they give you pills that make you throw up, showing you pictures of men. That way you connect it with something bad. If all else fails, they force you to um … please yourself, looking at pictures of half-naked women. To make a connection. And um, you have no choice, they force you. If you don't do it you are a shame for your family and who wants to be that?” reported Louis in a neutral voice. In the end, his voice started to shake and then broke completely. Zayn grabbed his hand and stifled his own tears.</p><p>“That's absolutely barbarian!” exclaimed Harry appalled.</p><p>“Nice that you see it that way” mumbled Zayn dazedly.</p><p>“How do you know that so well, Louis? Please, tell me these were not personal experiences” panicked Niall directly and sat up, which also made the others sit up and look at Louis.</p><p>“Oh God, no. My mother would never do that to me” denied Louis the awful guess.</p><p>“But how do you know it then?” asked Niall again.</p><p>“He's right. That doesn't sound like a definition of a website” Zayn had to agree.</p><p>“Um, I knew somebody. He told me about it before he …” looked Louis down at his hands.</p><p>“Before he what? What happened, Tommy?” worried Zayn, fearing the worst.</p><p>“He killed himself. He couldn't live with it. With his parents' hate, the loathing of the classmates, of the world. It was back in England when I came back for the second time. He was the only one I really talked to because of, yeah ... Anyway, somehow the thing with the therapy came out and the entire school knew about it. But instead of helping him, they made fun of him, ridiculed him. He knew that it wasn't me and he wished me a lot of strength and good friends like the wonderful person he was. The day after, he was found dead at home. It was too much for him. He had no one. He was all alone” told Louis them with tears in his eyes.</p><p>“Oh God, that's awful. Why didn't you tell us?” took Zayn him into his arms.</p><p>“That's not really something you just say randomly by the way, don't you think?” tried Louis to laugh.</p><p>“Damn it. Of course, I ... sorry” cursed Zayn himself.</p><p>“S'all right, Joey. You can't change it” reassured Louis him downcast.</p><p>“I just don't understand why that's not illegal already” got Niall angry.</p><p>“It's not?” wondered Harry. Niall shook his head. “It should be. It's inhuman”.</p><p>“I agree with you” agreed Zayn with him.</p><p>“How could I not know something like this all my life? Why don't we learn something like that in school? That's important and not this crap” complained Harry madly.</p><p>“You haven't had a reason to deal with it so far, Haz. You can't help it. There are many people who don't know that” soothed Louis him understandingly.</p><p>“It shouldn't be like this. It should be forbidden. Support is the key, not wanting to change your kids” huffed Harry still angry.</p><p>“A great topic for a Saturday night” shook Zayn his head.</p><p>“I liked the ravings about Luke and Brandon more” smiled Louis weakly.</p><p>“What are we listening to right now, Niall?” wondered Liam to change the topic.</p><p>“Anything from One Republic” read Niall on his phone.</p><p>“Why do we actually listen to your music every time?” relaxed Zayn the mood.</p><p>“Because you love to make fun of it” replied Niall neutrally.</p><p>“That's true” confessed Liam unashamed.</p><p>“Oh, there's my Raphael again” was Niall happy when another of his songs came on.</p><p>“Louis, this is our song!” exclaimed Zayn enthusiastically.</p><p>“Oh God, not again” sighed Liam, laughingly.</p><p>Zayn started singing the song ‘<em>Say I Do’</em> for Louis. Very overdramatic. Louis pretended to be touched.</p><p>“We change now because you're clearly the woman. I'm a Top and that's why I propose” laughed Louis as the second verses started.</p><p>“Should I be offended now?” asked Zayn, but Louis was singing for him already.</p><p>Niall was lying heavily laughing on the bed and barely got any air. Liam watched the two in amusement and Harry just sat there and couldn't take his eyes off Louis. The conversation was still too present in his memory. He wondered what Louis still had in his heart for secrets. He knew one thing was there for sure.</p><p>When the next song sounded Zayn tried not to look at Liam. Not too long ago, he had chosen this particular song to serenade Zayn at Truth or Dare. <em>Who You Are. </em>Zayn would never forget that and right now the memory came back up. Niall lay on his back and sang the lyrics. Such happy songs prevented him from thinking of his mother and getting caught up in reality.</p><p>Louis could see how undiminished Zayn was and he knew exactly why. Liam didn't seem to notice. That was good, maybe. The fact that Harry sat next to him and sang the lyrics quietly didn't make him nervous. No, not at all. It was just a song. That meant nothing. But his brain saved everything. How he sang every word and how the sound made Louis feel. Harry sang the last line changed up directly to him and smiled at him. Louis' heart bounced ten times faster, but he tried to stay cool. That was purely friendly. Like everything else.</p><p>While the other four talked and tried to talk positively again, Harry just listened to the lyrics of the next song. Unintentionally, he changed she into he and noticed how the text suited Louis. He had experienced a lot in his life. Much bad. And Harry barely knew a story of it. Actually, only those of today. After all, he hadn't said he doesn't want to tell him.</p><p>“What do you think where the band leads us to?” started Zayn a new topic.</p><p>“Good question. Maybe we'll be discovered and become world-famous” mused Niall excitedly.</p><p>“Yeah, you would like that” grinned Liam amused.</p><p>“Wouldn't you?” checked Niall curiously.</p><p>“Somehow, but only as long as it's about our music and not just the fame” answered Liam honestly.</p><p>“I see it the same way. The music has to stay in focus” agreed Louis with him.</p><p>“We could see the whole world. Where did you always want to go?” asked Harry curiously.</p><p>“Italy or France” replied Liam quickly.</p><p>“How lame. Hawaii is a lot cooler” cackled Niall.</p><p>“Maybe to Jamaica, you Tommy?” mused Zayn thoughtfully.</p><p>“I always wanted to go to Argentina. Please, don't ask why. I don't know” confessed Louis truthfully.</p><p>“And you, Harry?” hooked Liam interested.</p><p>“Mh, maybe America. New York would be cool. Or L.A. Or a city like Malibu. Sun, sea, beach” thought Harry out loud.</p><p>“Because you don't have that here” pointed Niall out cheekily.</p><p>At the mention of Malibu, Louis stiffened directly. Zayn, Liam and finally Niall also lost their laugh. Surely, Louis didn't want to go there.</p><p>“Could be interesting” said Liam tense.</p><p>“Been there. Done that” mumbled Louis to himself, got up and disappeared into the bathroom. Zayn looked after him worriedly.</p><p>“Why do you actually listen to this song?” tried Zayn to distract. Liam looked at him worriedly. With his eyes, Zayn pointed on his wrist and Liam's eyes grew large. He understood.</p><p>Harry had watched this interaction. That Liam understood so quickly hardly surprised him anymore. That Louis disappeared so suddenly more. What did he say? He just talked about America. From Mali ... Oh ... Was that it? Was this related to his secret of which he knew nothing? It had to be like this, otherwise, they wouldn't have reacted that way. All four. Instead of asking, as always, he decided to keep his questions to himself and to decipher the question marks in his head alone.</p><p>“We should go to bed. Niall is useless at this time” proposed Liam, walking to his mattress.</p><p>“Hey, I can still walk” protested Niall.</p><p>When Louis came in, only a small light was on. Zayn looked questioningly at him but Louis shook his head. Relieved, Zayn exhaled. Nothing happened. He should stop worrying so much, but Louis was his best friend. There was no other way. He had experienced so many terrible things. As Zayn was lying there, he wondered if they had all met because fate wanted those five broken souls to heal each other. Was that even possible?</p><p>Niall stared at the ceiling. Louis' story had brought back old memories. He had mastered it. This boy didn't. That saddened him. His mother would be alone. He would not have his friends now. Sometimes it was hard. After all, he was nothing special and wouldn't get far in life. But his friends were worth all of this.</p><p>Louis had gone to bed by now. Harry was already in there. Silently, a very slow song was playing in the back. Neither of them said a word. They just looked at each other. Louis lost himself in Harry's eyes. He had to stop himself from doing something stupid like kissing him or telling him how beautiful he was. That would be weird. And Harry would never look at him like he was doing now ever again.</p><p>When his eyes kept turning to Harry's lips, Louis closed his eyes. Everything about Harry he liked. Today he had touched him deeply with his words and the fact that he found these anti-gay things terrible. That made him smile.</p><p>On the other side of the bed, Harry just looked at Louis. His soft face. Like an angel. An angel who experienced a lot of bad things and life had left scars behind. Louis' little smile made him smile, too. He didn't question it. There were more important questions in his head.</p><p>What did Louis not tell him? Why didn't he tell him? Was it related to Kyle and America? What happened back then? All these questions made Harry mad as he didn't seem to get an answer. Not from Louis. The others would also keep their mouths shut. Although sometimes they said things that shouldn't be said. What were those things?</p><p>Harry had to remember urgently. He didn't want to be the only one excluded. He will get behind it and find out. On his own.</p>
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<a name="section0024"><h2>24. 24.1 Difficult Task</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>“Okay class, it's time to share your task for the exam” the teacher announced.</p><p>Louis sat nervously in his chair next to Harry and Violetta. He didn't care much about the other subjects, but he wanted to be good at this one. Hopefully, the task was well feasible in three weeks.</p><p>“You will prepare a scene in groups of three about a love triangle. How you do it and what the problem will be is up to you. You have a free hand, let your creativity flow” he told them.</p><p>Louis pondered thoughtfully what he could prepare for various scenes. There were enough of triangular relationships. Enough examples in films and books. Now the only question left was the group.</p><p>His teacher now came to him after he had already divided some groups. “After your great presentation last time and the development you've gone through, I'd love it if you three work together again, to see what's possible now” he pointed to Violetta, Harry and him. <em>Sure, of course.</em></p><p>“What do you mean by now?” asked Violetta confused.</p><p>“Well, I've noticed that you probably don't hate each other anymore. After all, you're always sitting together. The last time was good despite your hatred. I'm curious how good you are if you like each other” he explained logically.</p><p>“Ah, makes sense” Violetta understood.</p><p>“Remember, any constellation is possible. You have no limits. Just a triangle, no matter in which form” he repeated with a strange look and then left.</p><p>“What was that?” wondered Violetta perplexed.</p><p>“Who cares? We need to think of something good. He expects a lot from us” said Harry enthusiastically.</p><p>“Think, what's a good idea?” mused Louis thoughtfully.</p><p>“You could both fight for my love” cackled Violetta amused.</p><p>“How funny. As if that'll ever happen” rolled Louis his eyes.</p><p>“Ey” she punched him in the shoulder.</p><p>“Not the dumbest idea, but too undramatic. How about cheating?” suggested Harry.</p><p>“In what way?” hooked Violetta interested.</p><p>“I'm not sure. Maybe you cheated on one of us with the other” searched Harry for an idea.</p><p>“Great, then I'm the bad guy” was Violetta fakely offended.</p><p>“Does it have to be cheating? Can it not be more harmless and not so cliché?” threw Louis in. Of course, it had to be something that was unpleasant to him. How should it be different?</p><p>“No, that's good” based Harry his opinion. He looked at Louis in a funny way. Louis couldn't read his eyes, but he didn't like it.</p><p>“Mh, maybe not more harmless, but he is right with the cliché. He is definitely expecting that. We have to do something unexpected” suspected Violetta smartly.</p><p>“And what did you think of?” became Harry curious.</p><p>For a while, Violetta thought quietly. Louis and Harry looked at each other questioningly, but no one had an idea of what was going on in her pretty head. “I got it!! Cheating can stay that way but not so old-fashioned” she snapped her finger.</p><p>“Now you make me curious” leaned Louis closer to her.</p><p>“I'm not cheating on you. You're cheating on me” she hinted.</p><p>“What?” both asked at the same time.</p><p>“Guys, one of you, Louis, for example, is my boyfriend, but I found out he cheated on me with you, Harry. Nobody expects that” she explained more slowly.</p><p>“Wait, you want to make an LGBT scene out of this?” inquired Louis surprised.</p><p>“Do you really think Louis can convincingly play your boyfriend, who is also cheating on you?” expressed Harry some doubt.</p><p>Louis looked at him in surprise. That he had doubts was to be expected, but that this was his only concern, Louis was very surprised about. He had no problem with playing a gay man, but was worried that Louis couldn't play a cheater? <em>Weird.</em></p><p>“Good point. Louis, try convincingly to love me, but not too much because you're cheating on me because you're secretly gay” instructed Violetta.</p><p>“Please what?” was Louis confused.</p><p>“Forget it. Now act like you love me” she looked up at him.</p><p>“How do I do that?” asked Louis innocently.</p><p>“Good, Harry. We'll turn this around. You're cheating on me. Louis can't be straight if his life depends on it” giggled Violetta.</p><p>“Should I be offended?” raised Louis an eyebrow.</p><p>“No, Lou, you're just not a good liar. And besides, he's not a cheater, not even as a role, Vilu” turned Harry to Violetta.</p><p>“Yeah, you're right. Our angel would never do that. So, you're my boyfriend Harry, cheating on me with Louis, whether he knows that or not. Wow, never thought I'd say that” she summarized.</p><p>“That I cheat on someone with Louis?” asked Harry with a grin.</p><p>“No, that you're my boyfriend” laughed Violetta. That also made Louis laugh. That sounded really weird.</p><p>“It's more likely for you that I sleep with Louis instead of you going out with me?” hooked Harry astounded.</p><p>“Both unlikely” she winked at him and then looked at Louis knowingly.</p><p>Oh well, apparently she had noticed it too. Everybody saw it except for Harry. His Luck. Great, he was really not obvious at all.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>---&gt;</p><p>
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</p><p> </p><p>Zayn stood looking over at the sea on a small hill. In front of him his blank canvas. He had been staring at it for what felt like an eternity but had no idea. Today they had gotten the task for the exam. They should paint their own idea of a paradise. A peaceful place full of peace and silence.</p><p>But Zayn didn't find this place in his head. There was everything around him but no peace and silence. How should he paint a paradise with all the stress? His head was stuffed. With the exam dates in three weeks. With his new powers. With the worry that Dr Baker would come back and lock them all in like guinea pigs. And with his stronger feelings for Liam. Liam, he was still mad at. Whereby, hurt fit more likely.</p><p>The brush in his hand began to shake as Zayn trembled all over. His vision blurred and he had to lean against the canvas. His first thought was to call Louis because he could calm him down and said he could call him anytime. But Louis was rehearsing with Violetta and Harry, so Zayn didn't want to bother. Panting heavily, he felt for his phone anyway, but he didn't find it. He stumbled backwards and lost his balance. He fell to the ground and shamelessly seated himself. He could barely breathe and thought he was suffocating.</p><p>“Zayn!” he heard someone call. Then steps came towards him. Next, he felt a hand on his back. “Zayn, talk to me. What's the matter? Can you hear me? Zayn!”.</p><p>Zayn knew that voice. Better than anything else. It was Liam. Although he didn't want to see him, he was glad to hear his voice at that moment. It felt like medicine flew through his body. Slowly, his breathing became smoother and calmer. Zayn raised his gaze to the sky and saw his vision getting sharper and more normal again.</p><p>“Zayn?” asked Liam again.</p><p>“I'm fine” croaked Zayn out. He had forgotten that Liam didn't know about it.</p><p>“No, You're not. Don't lie to me” objected Liam worriedly.</p><p>“What do you want here?” distracted Zayn.</p><p>“I was looking for you” answered Liam nervously.</p><p>“And for what?” tried Zayn to sound uninterested.</p><p>“I wanna talk to you. Please, Zayn” he pleaded with him.</p><p>“Well, I'll listen to you,” said Zayn coolly. All the time he had hoped that Liam would talk to him alone, but now that the time had come he was very nervous.</p><p>“I'd like to apologize again. I was a total idiot. I should never have treated you that way. I shouldn't have hurt you like that. I know I messed up, but I hope you can forgive me” apologized Liam again.</p><p>“That's all? You have said that so many times, but do you really know why you're apologizing?” asked Zayn while trying not to get upset.</p><p>“I put your life on the line without realizing it and blindly trusted her and Lauren ...”.</p><p>“Yeah, you did but that's not the problem” interrupted Zayn him coldly.</p><p>“But what is it? Tell me, Zayn. I miss my best friend” begged Liam sadly.</p><p>“Best friend, yeah? I haven't noticed much of that lately. It's not just about Dr Baker or Lauren, it's about you. You've let us all down at the very best opportunity; you just preferred Lauren to us because we've seen through her game. You've favoured popularity, called us liars and imputed us terrible things. Dr Baker only made it worse, but the problem was there before. Because of your stupid crush you’ve let yourself be manipulated. And you mistrusted us. You reproached us we would not treat you right, we wouldn't have anything important in our lives. Even when she was away you blamed us”.</p><p>“You said you were the most disappointed in me, Liam. But I'm disappointed in you. You called me a liar. You better believed her than your best friend, let me down for Lauren, accused me of things although you know it isn't like that. You hurt me deeply, Liam. You broke my heart since that crappy full moon and now you're saying sorry?” was Zayn close to tears. He had now gotten up and looked down at Liam. His hands were shaking again but he tried to hide it.</p><p>“I ... um ... I feel awful. I never wanted to hurt you, and yet I did it ruthlessly without realizing it. I'll never forgive myself. You're so important to me and I destroyed everything. I should have believed you. You would never lie to me. Since the kiss, I'm acting like an ass. I'm sorry. I really thought they would like and appreciate me, but that was a mistake. You're the ones who do that. You are. Always was you. Zayn, forgive me. I don't deserve you” sniffed Liam with a drooping head. He looked like a pile of misery. To see him like that, Zayn's heart immediately broke again.</p><p>“Don't say that. Of course, you deserve me” knelt Zayn down to him. All the anger was gone. He had let all of it out and nothing was left. He couldn't see Liam cry, no matter how angry he has been.</p><p>“I hurt you. I betrayed your trust and forgot who my friends are. I know why you can't forgive me” a tear rolled down his cheek.</p><p>Zayn closed his eyes and listened to himself. His heart, mind and pride shared the same opinion. “But I forgave you”.</p><p>Perplexed, Liam raised his head up and looked at Zayn with tear-stained eyes. “Really? But why?”</p><p>“Because you, you idiot, are my best friend. I can't be without you. Even if you were personally responsible for the doomsday I would still defend you with my life” smiled Zayn lightly at him. His love for this guy in front of him was just too big and uncontrollable. Now Zayn knew what Louis' heart must have thought as he forgave Harry. <em>Who needs hearts anyway?!</em></p><p>“And I would give my life to protect you” replied Liam honestly.</p><p>Instead of answering cheesily, Zayn hugged Liam tightly. This way he wouldn't accidentally kiss him suddenly and destroy everything again. Friends, best friends, but not more.</p><p>“What are you painting right now?” asked Liam as they let go.</p><p>“Nothing. I'm working on my art project and with working I mean I'm staring at it” sighed Zayn in despair.</p><p>“What are you supposed to do?” Liam wanted to know.</p><p>“Painting our Paradise” replied Zayn helplessly.</p><p>“Quite a challenge, very vague,” remarked Liam critically.</p><p>“You're right, but in drama, it's even vaguer. So I'm lucky, I guess” agreed Zayn. He loved Liam for that. He always tried to cheer him up.</p><p>“What do they have to do?” checked Liam interested.</p><p>“Play a triangle relationship scene and guess who is one group,” told Zayn him.</p><p>“Well, that can be funny” marked Liam amused.</p><p>“At least, they have an idea. I can't think of anything” sighed Zayn desperately. He felt his hand still shaking.</p><p>“Everything okay?” noticed Liam the shaking.</p><p>“Yeah, go ahead” put Zayn his hand down.</p><p>“Zayn,” said Liam in that particular tone. Zayn was lost.</p><p>“It's nothing. I've got the seizures under control. Louis is helping me and I can …”.</p><p>“Seizures? What seizures?” interrupted Liam him worriedly.</p><p>“Um, sometimes when I panic my body goes crazy” described Zayn the problem. He didn't like the real word.</p><p>“You mean panic attacks?” concluded Liam. Zayn nodded. “Since when? Why do I not know that?”.</p><p>“It started on that Saturday morning when you forgot the samples in the lab” admitted Zayn reluctantly.</p><p>“I'm so sorry. It's all my fault. You've got panic attacks because of me” blamed Liam himself.</p><p>“It's not your fault. I can't deny it contributed, but there's a lot going on. A lot of stress lately” reassured Zayn him.</p><p>“Did it happen often?” checked Liam concerned.</p><p>“Every now and then, but as soon as I notice it I call Louis. He stops the worst. We have it under control” assured Zayn him.</p><p>“That's good. God bless Louis. I know you might not want that but you can always come to me” murmured Liam sheepishly.</p><p>“I know” he put a hand on his shoulder.</p><p>“Let's go. I can't think of anything today. I've got three weeks left” cleared Zayn his throat when they simply kept looking at each other.</p><p>Together, they packed the canvas, packed the paint and brushes and headed home. Zayn was so happy that everything was fine between them again. Now only a small problem remained that will not disappear so soon.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>---&gt;</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“I don't understand a word. Who needs that crap?” groaned Niall desperately. He sat at a large table in the library in front of his open physics book.</p><p>“Should I explain it again?” asked Liam confidently.</p><p>“It's useless. I'm just too stupid for that. I'm a hopeless case” sighed Niall discouraged.</p><p>“Don't say that. Not everyone understands physics” said Liam gently.</p><p>“I chose the course myself” contradicted Niall factually.</p><p>“Because you had to. What should you have taken instead? Art? Football? The swim team?” challenged Liam him.</p><p>“Maybe nutrition like Louis, Harry and Zayn” mused Niall dubiously.</p><p>“Because you have so many fewer formulas there?” cocked Liam his head.</p><p>“Because it's about food” countered Niall dully.</p><p>“Wouldn't you be even more hungry then?” remarked Liam knowingly.</p><p>“Good point” Niall had to admit.</p><p>“There was no better way. I'm here to help you” told Liam him.</p><p>“What does that matter to me if I don't understand? I'm just stupid” whined Niall helplessly.</p><p>“I never want to hear you saying you're stupid again. You're no less clever than others. Everybody doesn't understand anything, but with a lot of practice you can go so far as to succeed” said Liam seriously.</p><p>“Okay, alright” gave Niall in meekly.</p><p>If Liam got so serious you shouldn't object. Niall had problems accepting himself as worthy. He wasn't the smartest in his eyes and didn't get far in life. He didn't have the same chances, so it frustrated him so much when he didn't succeed. He wasn't allowed to screw up school, otherwise, he would never be able to help his mother and she would work herself to death. He couldn't accept that.</p><p>“Besides, we still have three weeks, to the exact day” pointed Liam out and read again in the book.</p><p>“Oh yeah. The test is on a Tuesday” reminded Niall himself. This one week for all exams principle had pros and cons. No pressure in the time before, time pressure in the hot phase.</p><p>“Here you are” heard Niall Harry's voice approach the table. He looked up and Harry smiled at him.</p><p>“That's what I wrote you accurately” answered Liam to Harry.</p><p>“For you, that might have been abhorrent. For ordinary people who have no location plan for the library, it was like another language” joked Harry cheekily.</p><p>“I always tell him that, but he keeps on puzzling” grinned Niall.</p><p>“Just like Kida. She is mysterious, but Liam looks rather crazy” sat Harry down at the table.</p><p>“Sassy Harry. Are you spending too much time with Louis? His influence is unmistakable” stated Liam amused.</p><p>“You cannot spend too much time with him” protested Harry surely.</p><p>“Oh, you can. Look at Zayn. I'm sure he's with him right now and they're doing some nonsense” pointed Liam out.</p><p>“As if Zayn was so innocent before” countered Niall cockily.</p><p>“Okay, I admit he was weird before, but Louis brings out sides of him that I didn't believe were possible” admitted Liam honestly.</p><p>“These two really found each other” agreed Niall, making his friends frown a bit.</p><p>“Do you have your Maths book with you?” Liam now turned to Harry.</p><p>“The old thing is ruining my back” whined Harry.</p><p>“I help him in Maths” explained Liam to Niall as he looked at him questioningly.</p><p>“For me, these are Roman villages” sighed Harry in defeat.</p><p>“I know the problem” pointed Niall to his physics stuff.</p><p>“Should I again ...”.</p><p>“NO!!” exclaimed Niall, throwing his head on the table. Harry only laughed while Liam sighed in amusement.</p><p>“So Harry, what should we start with?” asked Liam openly.</p><p>“Maybe anything beyond fractions” muttered Harry quietly.</p><p>“How did you pass for so long?” wondered Liam shocked.</p><p>“I didn't. Sean and I are in the advanced Maths class because of our parents. So far the teacher didn't care, but now you have to do something” explained Harry honestly.</p><p>“Okay, then let's start slowly” offered Liam sympathetically.</p><p>From then on, Niall ignored their conversation. He didn't need higher Maths as well. His normal course was hard enough. He would love to be as smart as Liam. Or as rich as Harry, even if that didn't make him happy. He had two of his classes just because of his father and the stupid plans for the future, which Harry was ruining now. Niall didn't want to swap places with him. Only some money and some brain of the two wouldn't be bad.</p><p>Niall didn't know how long they were still sitting here but it was definitely too long. His neck was already stiff. Maybe he shouldn't have put his head on the table all the time. He wondered what Louis and Zayn were doing. Surely it was more exciting than Liam's tutoring hours in the library with the librarian, who still looked at him weirdly since the last time he has been here and had fallen to the floor and stayed there. It wasn't his fault that the chairs were bad for tipping. <em>Weird woman</em>.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>...</p><p>
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</p><p> </p><p>Zayn and Louis were lying on Louis' bed and were doing everything but study. Ice cream bowls stood beside the bed and the spoons were somewhere in the corner. The two of them did NOT play Star Wars with it and Louis did NOT accidentally smear ice cream on the wall, which Zayn had tried to rub away but only rubbed in further. And they did NOT paint themselves with brush and made funny pictures and sent them to their friends like Nikki or Brandon to annoy them. No, never. No idea how you came up with that.</p><p>“What happened here?” heard Louis his mother groaning below.</p><p>It would be possible that the two had a very harmless pillow slaughter in the living room and have exaggerated a bit and also made the kitchen look like, after their miserable attempts to make something to eat, as if a bomb had hit. They didn't have time to tidy up yet. Evil forces wanted to kill their ice cream and they had to prevent that.</p><p>His mother opened his bedroom door and both boys jumped. “Do I want to know what happened down there?”.</p><p>“That was Zayn. He wanted to kill me” pointed Louis to Zayn.</p><p>“You almost burnt my hair. So, who wanted to kill who here?” shot Zayn back.</p><p>“I said you can do whatever you want except for wrecking the living room and what are you doing?” shook Jasmine her head disbelievingly</p><p>“But Mum. If you say I'm allowed to do anything but one thing, then I'll do just that. You know that” replied Louis whiningly.</p><p>“So if I say do anything but sleep with Harry …” smirked Zayn dirtily.</p><p>“Zayn!” exclaimed Louis in horror.</p><p>“As long as you clear that up before anyone else thinks here has been broken in” she looked at the two funnily.</p><p>“Yes, Mum”.</p><p>“Of course, Jaz”</p><p>“Well, then I'll ... is that ice cream on the wall? How did you do that?” noticed Jasmine the brown spot.</p><p>“We had to destroy the Death Star and we only had ice cream” responded Louis innocently.</p><p>“You're two kids' heads to me” laughed Jasmine and left the room.</p><p>“Your Mum is great, but we should really clean it up” grinned Zayn.</p><p>“But later. I don't want to get up” moaned Louis dramatically.</p><p>“Would you rather dream of Harry and what you could do?” smirked Zayn cheekily.</p><p>“Maybe I'd rather talk about Liam and your sick fantasies” countered Louis skilfully.</p><p>“So, you're really imagining that?” shot Zayn back.</p><p>“Would be possible. Are you doing it?” challenged Louis him.</p><p>“No, of course not. He's my pure platonic best friend” claimed Zayn directly.</p><p>“Sure and I didn't have those weird dreams of a straight friend,” said Louis sarcastically.</p><p>“And even if. There will never happen anything” snorted Zayn.</p><p>“Never say never unless he is straight” sing-songed Louis dramatically.</p><p>“Like Harry?” cocked Zayn an eyebrow.</p><p>“It's just about you. Don't turn it around” pointed Louis a finger into Zayn's face.</p><p>“Even if we were together ... I've never done that, but he did” looked Zayn to the ground.</p><p>“But with a girl right?” inquired Louis. Zayn nodded slightly. “You see. That's a completely different thing. Well, he's not totally inexperienced but he's gay technically a virgin as well as we are. It's a different kind. Just because he's done it with his ex, he isn't ahead of you. Liam is definitely the last one who knows how to do it, how to stretch you out and ... “.</p><p>“Why he me? Maybe I'm the Top” protested Zayn but it sounded more like a question. Louis just looked at him crookedly. “I hate you! And stop talking about my ass. That's weird”.</p><p>“Sorry, but we call Liam Daddy Direction sometimes. Doesn't that say anything?” sniggered Louis nastily, completely dismissing the actual reason behind this.</p><p>“So, you're a bottom, too?” countered Zayn skilfully.</p><p>“Absolutely not. I'm Louis Toplinson. Nobody touches my ass” clarified Louis weirdly.</p><p>“Nobody but Harry. Does he know about that, you Top?” chuckled Zayn amused.</p><p>“Oh, he knows that” smirked Louis smugly.</p><p>“Too much information” choked Zayn fakely.</p><p>“You started it”.</p><p>“You have talked about stretching me out”.</p><p>“That's just how it works”.</p><p>“I know how to do that”.</p><p>“Good for you”.</p><p>“Has Kyle ever tried that? Was he that close?” asked Zayn suddenly out of the blue.</p><p>“Closer than that but no” confessed Louis neutrally.</p><p>“Oh” was Zayn at a loss for words.</p><p>“Let's go clean up” suggested Louis to end this conversation.</p><p>“But didn't the king want to not walk?” bowed Zayn jokingly.</p><p>“I won't. I will float” exaggerated Louis.</p><p>“Of course. Jump on” patted Zayn his back as he stood up.</p><p>“Yay” cheered Louis and jumped on Zayn's back.</p><p>Zayn grabbed him under his legs and Louis wrapped his arms around his neck. Piggyback style the two jumped down the stairs to eliminate their mess so that Louis' mother didn't lock them in the basement and let them starve. Okay, admitted. Both were real nonsense. Little children who didn't grow up. One worse than the other.</p><p> </p><p> </p>
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<a name="section0025"><h2>25. 24.2 Weird Conversations</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>“That's fine so far, but we should consider if Louis knows you're cheating on me with him” summarized Violetta at the end of the rehearsal.</p><p>“I'd say he doesn't know. It's more dramatic” suggested Harry.</p><p>“If you talk about it like that, one might think you're crazy” laughed Louis heartfelt.</p><p>“Hey, at least I can love her convincingly” protested Harry pouty.</p><p>“You've already made a move on her, have you forgotten?” countered Louis cockily.</p><p>“I suppressed it” shuddered Violetta at the thought.</p><p>“Those were dark times. Now in the bright times, I'm her fake boyfriend” said Harry poetically.</p><p>“You're cheating on me, you poet” noted Violetta.</p><p>“You deserve each other” commented Louis with a huff.</p><p>“Don't be mean just because I can be straight and you can't” babbled Harry weirdly.</p><p>“Oh my god. Did you forget that I'm gayer than a rainbow?! Besides, you're straight, Harry. You don't have to act” exclaimed Louis in amusement.</p><p>“Louis, I love you” laughed Violetta enthusiastically.</p><p>“He doesn't love you,” said Harry pouting.</p><p>“Put your jealousy elsewhere” grinned Violetta cheekily.</p><p>“I'm not jealous. What should I be jealous of?” asserted Harry high-pitched.</p><p>“Whatever you say, Cheater” she winked at him before facing Louis. “Louis, can you stay and help me?”.</p><p>“Sure,” said Louis when he saw her eyes. He knew very well that she didn't want to clean up but talk. Alone.</p><p>“I can help, too” offered Harry considerately.</p><p>“You don't need to. Tommo here just sat around while we worked” she gratefully refused.</p><p>“It's not my fault you have to live out your relationship for so long” pouted Louis.</p><p>“Who's jealous now?” smirked Harry satisfied.</p><p>“You, who else?” countered Louis cheekily. He couldn't let Harry see through him. There couldn't be a weak moment.</p><p>“See you tomorrow, Harry. Bye,” she said goodbye.</p><p>“See you tomorrow” waved Harry goodbye.</p><p>Then the door closed. They waited until the door below was heard. Then both sat down on her bed and Louis waited for her to say something. “I'll get right to the point. Louis, I know you're hiding something from me and I wonder why” she let him know.</p><p>“What are you talking about?” played Louis stupid. He knew perfectly well that she had noticed strange things, but he couldn't tell her.</p><p>“You know that very well. I'm not stupid. I realized how strange you are” she didn't buy that from him.</p><p>“What do you mean by strange?” asked Louis weirdly.</p><p>“Seriously? The first time I noticed this was with the weird necklace you're wearing. You really wanted it that much and then everything was so weird that day. Then Zayn's behaviour at the farewell party. It wasn't normal and don't tell me he was drunk or something. I never believe you that. Yours and Niall's reaction when the moon came in. You just disappeared. You were all sick when it rained for the first time this year but just for a day. That's funny. You were all missing the morning after those weird happenings on those islands. You avoid the beach and run away when you get wet. Don't think I didn't notice. What's going on?” she counted everything she had noticed. Louis had to digest that first. She had noticed so much and there was no logical explanation for it.</p><p>“You're right. That's all pretty weird and yes, I'm hiding something. There's something you don't know, but I can't tell you” confessed Louis as there was no way to lie to her again. She would notice it anyway.</p><p>“Why not? Why can't you or do you not want to?” she asked sadly.</p><p>“You don't know how much I want to tell you everything. I hate lying to you, but that's not my decision” sighed Louis desperately.</p><p>“I don't understand” frowned Violetta bemused.</p><p>“This isn't only my secret. I can't confess it without their approval. I can't just expose them. Understand that, please” pleaded Louis.</p><p>Violetta looked at the floor and nodded. “I understand that. Still, that doesn't feel nice”.</p><p>“I know. I wish I could change it” sighed Louis sorrowful.</p><p>“We're done here then. Thanks” she said curtly.</p><p>“Okay, till tomorrow?” questioned Louis.</p><p>“Yeah, see you tomorrow” mumbled Violetta dejectedly.</p><p>When Louis left the house and was on his way home, he had the feeling that he had lost a friend. She was still there and understood, but it hurt her and he saw the friendship already breaking apart. Who wanted a friend who lied to you and had secrets from you?</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>---&gt;</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The water swirled around his legs and colourful fish moved past him. Harry was swimming close to him, but Zayn was faster than he. For a while, they swam through the sea to distract themselves from the exam stress. Liam was already learning a lot and Niall seemed to be worried. The only one who was as relaxed as Zayn himself was Louis, but he had training today. Harry had asked if he wanted to go swimming and Zayn just said yes.</p><p>This was the first time they spent time alone for more than ten minutes like when the others were away for a while. It might have been weird at first, but the tension was gone quickly. And then they had started a race to the island. Zayn wouldn't lose, he had set that up. This day was perfect to eliminate the rest of the embarrassment between them. Zayn swam through the cave, emerged and touched the edge first. He had won.</p><p>“First!” he exclaimed triumphantly.</p><p>“I dare to doubt, you cheater” sat Harry down next to him.</p><p>“I thought you're the cheater?” changed Zayn the subject.</p><p>“Yeah, I cheated on Vilu with Louis. Who would have thought that?” said Harry casually.</p><p>“Not me. An interesting topic” replied Zayn airy.</p><p>“Oh yes. Our teacher is unfathomable. No idea what he was thinking” agreed Harry.</p><p>“Maybe he's just needy” wiggled Zayn his eyebrows.</p><p>“You've just destroyed my life” put Harry a hand on his chest.</p><p>“It was an honour” bowed Zayn. Both had to laugh easily. Zayn looked around the grotto and felt secure and safe. The place had something.</p><p>“Zayn?” listened Harry nervously.</p><p>“Yes?” whispered Zayn in response.</p><p>“Oh, forget it” averted Harry his eyes.</p><p>“No, what is it?” asked Zayn suspiciously.</p><p>“Nothing important. That's just weird. I'm just um …” Harry wanted to dodge it.</p><p>“Just ask. No one here judges you. It can't be that crazy” encouraged Zayn him.</p><p>“But it's about sex” hinted Harry embarrassed.</p><p>“And then you ask me?” wondered Zayn, but then slapped his hand over his mouth. <em>Great, smooth, Zayn.</em></p><p>“Yeah, um. I feel weird about asking Lou, but it's very weird to ask that in general” rambled Harry nervously.</p><p>“Shoot,” said Zayn, not prepared at all.</p><p>“Okay, don't think I'm crazy, but I was wondering how gay sex works. Don't get me wrong. I'm just curious. I had such a dream and I think about it more often since then and I didn't want to google it because there's a lot of bullshit on the internet and as a straight person you don't necessarily know stuff. And yes” came Harry to the point.</p><p>“Well, if it comes to that, you can't go wrong on the internet. Just that you might read or see disturbing stuff, but that's normal” tried Zayn to process the question. He hadn't expected that.</p><p>“I don't wanna see it, just know it. It concerns a few of my friends and I never thought about it. It has to be different than with girls, I mean just physically but how?” stumbled Harry over his words.</p><p>“You want to talk about that now when we're half-naked?” tried Zayn to joke.</p><p>“Zayn, I'm serious. I ... um no idea” gave Harry up.</p><p>“Don't you have to know something? Just remember your full moon night” wondered Zayn awkwardly.</p><p>“Did you have to mention this? And that was not sex, not like ... I um ..” stammered Harry overpowered.</p><p>“I know, but you know something throughout that” stated Zayn.</p><p>“That Blowjobs work the same I already figured, maybe even better” softened Harry at the end.</p><p>“What was the last one?” checked Zayn. Oh, he understood.</p><p>“Nothing,” said Harry quickly.</p><p>“You mentioned a dream?” remembered Zayn and decided to ignore it for Harry’s sake.</p><p>“Yeah. Well, it wasn't about me and nobody you know, but it's been themed. Since that time, it's constantly circling around in my head and I just want to know what it means. What does to fill up someone mean? Prep someone or stretch out a person? Eternities ago Sean hinted things at Louis' party but I didn't listen because I thought it was weird, but now I'm curious” let Harry him know. Zayn couldn't shake the feeling away that the dream was about Harry and that it was more than just a random topic.</p><p>“Aye, that could be embarrassing now. Well, full-on sex gay people have up the ass, if you know what I mean. And filling up would be the feeling of your partner's dick in your ass. The feeling to be complete. Being as close as possible. To be one” tried Zayn to explain. That was weird.</p><p>“So, it's just like being with a girl just in the ass? Things like riding and everything?” it rattled in Harry's head.</p><p>“If you want to put it that way. It's just a different kind of pain” noted Zayn still awkwardly.</p><p>“Pain? In which way?” hooked Harry responsive.</p><p>“Well, it's just very um ... tight and umm you have to be prepared first. You have to be stretched out with your partner's fingers to make it less painful. But of course, it still hurts, but after a while, it turns into pleasure. And that every time. Not just the first time. And you're definitely sore the next morning. I mean, if you're a Bottom” went Zayn into more detail, embarrassed. God, why did Harry do that to him? That was really uncomfortable and just so weird.</p><p>“Bottom? What is that?” wondered Harry. Was he serious? Womanizer but no idea? Wow. Just …Wow.</p><p>“There are Top and Bottom?! The top is on top. I mean above um … and the bottom is underneath. Well, not necessarily always but you’re getting my point. The Top is in control above and the Bottom gets fucked in the ass. Kinda. Only works together. Like with straight people. Some couples never change their parts. Others share. That's the difference to straight sex. We can share that. It is often done because the feeling of being filled up by your partner is indescribable. It isn't pitiful to be a Bottom. More on the contrary. After all, you experience this great feeling. The prostate is there for a reason, right? At least, that's what I heard” explained Zayn, getting quieter.</p><p>“You mean you never ...?” Harry didn't finish his sentence. Zayn just shook his head. He had no longer a problem with Harry knowing it.</p><p>“Is it because of Liam?” asked Harry timidly.</p><p>“You know about it?” wondered Zayn in surprise.</p><p>“I noticed one or two things. Often I miss everything but I'm getting better” informed Harry him.</p><p>“Seems like it. It may be because of Liam. I didn't like anyone before him, so it never happened. It will never be with Liam anyway” confessed Zayn without a problem.</p><p>“You don't know that for sure” replied Harry confidently.</p><p>“But I know. Since the kiss. I'll have to live with that” sighed Zayn sadly.</p><p>“Damned moon. I still don't understand the reasons” grumbled Harry.</p><p>“Oh, Hell. Liam's bad luck. Maybe I should just start to fuck random people. What do you think?” joked Zayn a little too seriously.</p><p>“Believe me, that's not as great as you think,” said Harry unexpectedly.</p><p>“I thought you think that was great? Don't get me wrong, I will not judge you, but isn't that your thing?” wondered Zayn surprised.</p><p>“It was my thing. Bad enough. When was the last time you’ve seen me with a girl that wasn't Vilu, Vicky or Nikki?” asked Harry a counter-question.</p><p>“Yes, well. I also noticed that” Zayn had to confess.</p><p>“In retrospect, I'm not proud of it. Sure, it was really satisfying but not the life. Just fucking with foolish girls seems wrong to me now. I wonder if it is really more special with feelings. I'll never know that” revealed Harry his thoughts.</p><p>“You will. And me too” patted Zayn him on the shoulder. This conversation was strange, but it also felt good.</p><p>“Nevertheless, I picture it very painful with a dick in the ass, though it sounds tempting, I confess” laughed Harry suddenly.</p><p>“Well, you'll never know, just your role. I'll let you know as soon as I know it” nudged Zayn him.</p><p>“Oh God, I don't want to know that” put Harry his hands over his eyes.</p><p>“I thought you wanted to know that so badly” Zayn didn't let go.</p><p>“You're impossible” grinned Harry amused.</p><p>“The same goes for you” winked Zayn at him.</p><p>As he looked at Harry, Zayn thought maybe it was good that they talked about all this, no matter how embarrassing that was and he was sure there was more to it. Harry was very red in the face and looked somehow flustered. Never in life was Harry just curious, even though he might have believed that himself. Zayn wanted to know what he really had dreamt and of whom.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>...</p><p>
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</p><p> </p><p>At the same time, Niall was wiping the counter in the café and waited for the next guests. Louis sat on a stool in front of him and sipped his drink. He had just come from training and now wanted to annoy Niall.</p><p>“No, really, I'm telling you he did that! And shortly thereafter, Thomas ran away because he probably had to go somewhere. In all that time I've never seen him leave training so fast” reported Louis excitedly, like a small child.</p><p>“Sounds like he has a date” cooed Niall.</p><p>“A date? At twelve? Definitely not. Maybe there's just a good movie in the cinema right now” said Louis, making a pfft sound.</p><p>“Naww, your little admirer forgot about you and has a new crush” mocked Niall him amused.</p><p>“As if” pouted Louis.</p><p>“That's what you wanted, pouty” reminded Niall him.</p><p>“That's a good thing, but a date?” grimaced Louis at the thought of it.</p><p>“Who doesn't like dates?” looked Niall at him crookedly. Louis nervously pulled on his straw. “Have you ever had a real date?”.</p><p>“Um, not really. There was only he. Before and after nothing. And well, you know the story” stammered Louis embarrassed.</p><p>“I didn't think of that. I only had one and that was awful. You didn't miss anything” said Niall quickly.</p><p>“Except an important part of life” added Louis down.</p><p>“What is an important part of life?” came a pretty tall guy up to them.</p><p>“Dates, my friend. Don't you think so?” laughed Niall at him kindly.</p><p>“It depends, but with the right person it's great” he answered, slightly surprised.</p><p>“Great Spirit. Oh, almost forgot. Luke, this is Louis, the best friend in the world. Louis, this is Luke, he's in the basketball team” introduced Niall them to each other.</p><p>“Hi, I'm glad to finally meet you. Niall is always talking about you” shook Luke Louis' hand.</p><p>“Well, then this meeting was about time. Niall can be quite exhausting” said Louis amused.</p><p>“So far it was okay” smiled Luke.</p><p>“Then you were lucky” replied Louis cheekily.</p><p>“Wow, not even a whole minute and you’re fraternizing against me. I'll go to serve nicer people” snorted Niall and went to work.</p><p>“And then he was gone” smirked Luke amused.</p><p>“Just like his dignity” added Louis cockily.</p><p>“Sassy, that's what Niall mentioned first. It seems to be true” grinned Luke amused.</p><p>“Now I'm curious what else he has said, the clown” Louis wanted to know.</p><p>“He said you were sassy, sarcastic, funny, an angel, very handsome, attractive and a good friend. And as I see it seems he told the truth” counted Luke flirtily. Louis tried not to blush. To hear that and someone apparently flirting with him was new to him. Unusual, but not bad.</p><p>“Niall seldom lies, and if, every blind man sees it” replied Louis awkwardly. He wasn't good at that.</p><p>“There's Liam” interrupted Niall the two and pointed to the door which Liam came straight through.</p><p>“He looks dejected,” noticed Louis automatically.</p><p>“His course project,” said Niall and went back to work.</p><p>“I should see if I can help him” cleared Louis his throat.</p><p>“Good idea. See you. Maybe at school?” retorted Luke questioningly.</p><p>“Yes, see you” nodded Louis to him.</p><p>Maybe that wasn't the stupidest idea. Sure, he had feelings for Harry, but they would be unrequited and to only suffer because of him without doing anything wasn't the best plan. Maybe he should get involved and see where it leads him.</p><p>“Is everything alright?” asked Louis as he sat down next to Liam.</p><p>“Yeah, just this task is pretty darn” he scratched his head.</p><p>“What do you have to do?” inquired Louis curiously.</p><p>“It's about Photoshop. Everyone got two pictures of Celebs and we're going to work on what's wrong with them. I've got two of such a woman and her alleged child” explained Liam, showing him the photos. One with a woman in a dress with a baby belly and one with a smiling kid.</p><p>“What's wrong with that?” wondered Louis confused.</p><p>“That's the question here. I don't see anything, but Mel from my class said the belly was fake and the kid's face was copied in from the alleged father so he looks more like him” told Liam him.</p><p>“Wait, what? Alleged father?” grimaced Louis horrified.</p><p>“Yes, the kid's supposed to be from a singer, but it's actually somebody else's, but nobody knows that officially. It's a PR stunt to hide a relationship or something” repeated Liam Mel's words from his class, who arguably had insider's knowledge through some people.</p><p>“That's confusing. Who does that and who would do this to their child?” Louis couldn't believe it.</p><p>“You're asking the wrong guy” sighed Liam beaten.</p><p>Together, they ceased to cope with the task and it was easier than expected. Whoever had done that wasn't very thorough. Shouldn't one be more careful with such a misanthropic lie that it cannot simply be exposed by a pupil?</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>---&gt;</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>A stuffed animal frog hit Louis on the head and he immediately sat up. “Ouch! Zayn, you really have a death wish”.</p><p>“That's not my fault. The frog wanted to suck your face” laughed Zayn heartfelt.</p><p>“That reminds me that I think Harry looks like a frog” interjected Niall randomly.</p><p>“Well, then that fits even better” Zayn couldn't stop laughing.</p><p>“Where does Harry look like a frog, please?” wondered Louis confused.</p><p>“The resemblance is amazing” grinned Niall cheekily.</p><p>“That's very insulting” crossed Louis his arms.</p><p>“Naww, do you have to protect the Frog Princess now that he's not here?” mocked Zayn him.</p><p>“Did I miss something?” asked Niall astonished.</p><p>“No, Zayn is just tired. He didn't have his beauty sleep” cackled Louis.</p><p>“I look better than you anyway” guffawed Zayn light-heartedly.</p><p>“But Luke seems to prefer our little hedgehog over you” giggled Niall.</p><p>“Be quiet, you red devil” hissed Louis.</p><p>“Luke? What did I miss? I want details” demanded Zayn excitedly.</p><p>“Luke seems to have kept an eye on our Tommo” smirked Niall proudly. “Basketball Luke”.</p><p>“And you didn't tell me?” huffed Zayn indignantly.</p><p>“There's nothing to tell,” said Louis flatly.</p><p>“That looked different yesterday”.</p><p>“Niall, be quiet. I don't know what you're thinking in your mind, but there was nothing” shoved Louis him aside.</p><p>“But why not? Would you say no if he wants to go out with you?” asked Niall curiously.</p><p>“Um, I don't know” stammered Louis overwhelmed.</p><p>“That's not a no” was Niall pleased.</p><p>“I understand, but maybe that wouldn't be bad. Distraction can help” said Zayn sympathetically.</p><p>“You're right. It's just not that easy” sighed Louis out.</p><p>“I know what you mean” smiled Zayn weakly.</p><p>“You two sound like a support group” noted Niall saucily.</p><p>“Sorry that we don't jump into bed with everyone. I have to forget Liam for that” rolled Zayn his eyes.</p><p>“But then you would do it?” checked Niall smugly.</p><p>“I thought about it, but Harry changed my mind. I'll probably stay the same forever” admitted Zayn honestly.</p><p>“Harry? Do I have to understand that?” wondered Niall puzzled.</p><p>“No, I will not say anything” sealed Zayn his lips.</p><p>“So Nialler, do you want to entrust something to the support group?” joked Louis.</p><p>“I'm an open book for you” claimed Niall surely.</p><p>“For sure?” checked Zayn sceptically.</p><p>“Maybe not completely” admitted Niall ashamed.</p><p>“Do you want to entrust us?” listened Louis softly.</p><p>“I've had dark times too, but I'm feeling better now, reasonably. Maybe I'll tell you some more someday. It's just not good for me to talk about it right now” told Niall them.</p><p>“Don't feel pressured. No one forces you to say anything” assured Louis him.</p><p>“I know and I love you for that” smiled Niall at them.</p><p>“Just for that? Now I'm seriously offended” pouted Zayn playfully.</p><p>“You're just incorrigible” laughed Niall delightfully.</p><p>“Where is your Mum by the way?” wondered Louis suddenly.</p><p>“Yeah right. I haven't seen her for ages” added Zayn.</p><p>“She's still working” replied Niall curtly.</p><p>“At this time?”.</p><p>“Still?”.</p><p>“She works mostly double shifts to pay all the bills. It makes her sick, but I can't do anything” he opened up to them.</p><p>“That's why your job is so important to you. You want to support her” realised Louis. Niall just nodded.</p><p>“Can we do anything?” asked Zayn helpfully.</p><p>“Unfortunately not, but thanks. It doesn't make my condition much better, but we can't change it. Except God decides to give my Mum another job” declined Niall gratefully.</p><p>“What is her job?” Zayn wanted to know.</p><p>“She's a saleswoman in the kiosk around the corner” informed Niall them.</p><p>“This dodgy thing? I don't dare to go in there at this time”.</p><p>“Zayn!” admonished Louis him.</p><p>“It's alright. I'm the same. Another reason to be more worried but it doesn't matter. Topic change. Are Harry and Liam back already?” changed Niall the subject.</p><p>“Liam just wrote that he arrived home” informed Zayn them.</p><p>“And Harry said he is on his way back. His dad has been extra annoying” added Louis informative.</p><p>“Great. Hey, why are they writing to you but not to me?” complained Niall offended.</p><p>“Because I texted him” both answered at the same time, making all three laugh.</p><p>“Oh, man! I can't wait to see the two again. Two days are too long” moaned Zayn out.</p><p>“Especially Liam” chuckled Niall. “Does he get a welcome peck?”.</p><p>“Niall!” exclaimed Zayn, throwing a pillow at him.</p><p>And so the evening died out with laughter and good friends, who all fell asleep at Niall's and almost slept in the next morning because no one had thought of his charging cable for the phone and thus no alarm clock awoke the three, but the sun.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>---&gt;</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Guys, you were fantastic on Saturday” praised Zayn the boys from <em>Boys Are Crazy</em>.</p><p>“Thanks for letting us step in for you” thanked Patrick him.</p><p>“We couldn't perform well with two men less,” said Niall with a shrug.</p><p>“By the way, where is the rest?” looked Max around as he sat next to Zayn at the lunch table.</p><p>“There they are” pointed Niall to the door. Harry, Liam and Louis chatted as they approached the others.</p><p>“I thought you had fallen into the loo” grinned Brandon up at them.</p><p>“Harry's just doing other things on the loo. Oh wait, forget that. That's not what the prude gentleman does anymore” appeared Sean out of nowhere.</p><p>“Did anyone ask you for your opinion?” nagged Brandon him.</p><p>“Why so bitchy? Does your little boyfriend don't give it to you right?” made Sean fun of him.</p><p>“Sean, just leave. No one cares about what you think. Where are your monkeys? Are they fed up with you?” was Harry annoyed with him.</p><p>“Probably they let him down for some chicks” suggested Zayn hatefully.</p><p>“Just because nobody wants you, you don't have to begrudge us” hissed Sean at Zayn.</p><p>“The saying is getting old. Just go” yawned Harry uninterestedly.</p><p>“We're not done yet” threatened Sean and then disappeared as fast as he came.</p><p>“Why were you friends with him again?” turned Brandon to Harry.</p><p>“You can't call that a friend” answered Harry sadly.</p><p>“I heard you were really good on Saturday” started Liam a new topic.</p><p>“Oh, the exaggeration” waved Luke Sebastian it off.</p><p>“Don't be so humble. You were madness” nudged Niall him.</p><p>“That one song was awesome” raved Louis.</p><p>“Thank you. I was glad you were there” thanked Patrick him gratefully.</p><p>“It was self-evident” smiled Louis happily.</p><p>“Hey, Bay, Maya, sit down with us” called Liam over to their friends.</p><p>“We would love to, but we wanted to use the break to look for our super lazy partner and finally discuss the task” declined Maya.</p><p>“Oh right, you're in a group with Kevin,” said Louis sympathetically.</p><p>“How is it to work with him?” asked Harry interested.</p><p>“I'll tell you when we worked” replied Maya sassily.</p><p>“You haven't started yet?” hooked Harry shocked.</p><p>“Nope. No idea. Nothing. I'm already thinking of playing a double role” sighed Bailey despaired.</p><p>“Maybe it would be better” mused Louis.</p><p>“Well, see you later in music,” said Maya goodbye and went looking for Kevin with Bailey.</p><p>“I don't want to swap” commented Harry on it.</p><p>“Nobody wants to swap if he has the honour to work with Louis” grinned Max cheekily.</p><p>“Oh, there's Luke. Luke, Hey!” shouted Niall through the room.</p><p>“Oh hi, Niall. Hello, Louis” greeted Luke the two boys.</p><p>“Hi, Luke” greeted Louis him timidly.</p><p>“Guys, that's Luke” introduced Niall him.</p><p>“That's what we thought after you shouted it through half the school” chuckled Zayn entertained.</p><p>“Do you want to sit down?” offered Niall his friend.</p><p>“Another time. We have a team meeting now” pointed Luke to the door, where members of the basketball team were waiting.</p><p>“Then I don't want to stop you,” said Louis tensely.</p><p>“The game is still on?” checked Luke hopefully.</p><p>“Let's see” replied Louis sheepishly.</p><p>“Text me when you know,” said Luke and then he went over to his team.</p><p>“Aye, is he tall” marvelled Liam impressed.</p><p>“What was that?” grinned Patrick at Louis.</p><p>“What do you mean, please?” pretended Louis to have no clue what he was talking about.</p><p>“That a second ago. He just invited you to the game” clarified Brandon.</p><p>“Oh that. We just talked about it” answered Louis simply.</p><p>“That looked different”.</p><p>“That's right. He gave you the hungry eyes” agreed Luke Sebastian with Niall.</p><p>“Wow, that's the last thing I need. Someone looking at me with hungry eyes” snorted Louis.</p><p>“Everybody needs a bit of fun” sang Max jolly.</p><p>“He's tall, handsome and seems to like you. What are you waiting for?” wondered Patrick confused.</p><p>“Now don't press him that way” interrupted Zayn sternly.</p><p>“Well, at least my Luke is better anyway” pulled Brandon his Luke into his arms.</p><p>“But he's not called Sexy Luke for no reason” rebelled Niall strangely</p><p>“Pfft, who calls him that?”.</p><p>“The team, the fans” listed Niall.</p><p>“The fans” mocked Harry Niall's voice.</p><p>“Our fans all want to marry my Luke” countered Brandon strangely.</p><p>“Sexy Luke can have anyone he wants just by breathing” shot Niall back.</p><p>“God Niall, if you like him so much I'll give him to you” groaned Louis annoyed.</p><p>“Come on, Louis. He's supposed to be pretty good” laughed Max. Louis sighed out loudly and threw his head down on the table. His friends were idiots.</p><p>“My Luke is still better in everything than your Luke” claimed Brandon stubbornly.</p><p>“He's NOT my Luke!” moaned Louis desperately.</p><p>“Let's see for how long” sing-songed Patrick</p><p>“You guys need a girlfriend” noted Zayn seriously.</p><p>“Then you might stop bothering Lou with something he doesn't want” spoke Harry up for the first time.</p><p>“Sure he doesn't want it?” checked Niall evilly.</p><p>“Maybe he's just playing hard to get” remarked Max idiotically.</p><p>“And then he gets slammed against a wall later” cackled Patrick.</p><p>“I don't get slammed against a wall. I'm a Top” protested Louis poutingly.</p><p>“You hear that? All Hail Louis Toplinson” chuckled Zayn light-headed.</p><p>“Yes. You heard that right. I slam people against walls. Not the other way round” joked Louis. Harry looked at him with an unreadable expression.</p><p>“Good strategy. Seems to work” grinned Patrick amused.</p><p>“You can slam Luke against a wall and we can watch. Even if I think he could probably have a problem with being a Bottom” Max couldn't suppress his laugh.</p><p>“Clearly girlfriends lack” interjected Zayn.</p><p>“I hate you guys so much” groaned Louis while burying his head in his arms. That was the end of the topic. For now.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>---&gt;</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p> </p><p>Niall threw his book groaningly on the floor and threw himself dramatically on his bed. “I hate chemistry”.</p><p>“Don't you say that in every subject?” looked Harry at him crookedly.</p><p>“No, not in every” claimed Niall.</p><p>“Oh no? Tell me one subject where you don't want to run in front of a car” demanded Harry of him.</p><p>“Music and English. Oh and Golf” replied Niall quickly.</p><p>“Golf is not a subject,” remarked Harry.</p><p>“But a course” countered Niall stubbornly.</p><p>“Rather a kind of free time thing with a teacher like football or choir” contradicted Harry.</p><p>“Speaking of that, the game is in two days. Are you coming?” asked Niall curiously.</p><p>“Which game?” wondered Harry muddled.</p><p>“The Basketball Game? From Luke?” reminded Niall him.</p><p>“Oh, that. I forgot all about it” muttered Harry softly.</p><p>“So you’re coming along?” urged Niall impatiently.</p><p>“No time. Liam wants to call a learning night for … um Maths” declined Harry.</p><p>“Oh pity. Louis would have been happy if you had come” was Niall a little disappointed.</p><p>“Louis is going?” was Harry listening now.</p><p>“Yeah, he just texted me that he has decided to go. Luke will be very happy” told Niall him.</p><p>“He'll be for sure” grimaced Harry.</p><p>“Luke may not be perfect, but he's nice, no ass, down to earth and likes Louis. He may not be the one, but he'll certainly treat him well in their time” mused Niall aloud.</p><p>“So, you're assuming the two will not stay together if they ever get together? I thought you only wanted the best for him” wondered Harry indignantly.</p><p>“And the best thing for him is to collect good experiences. Then he's ready when the one crosses his path” explained Niall his reasons.</p><p>“Wouldn't it be best to collect these experiences with this person?” remarked Harry dubiously.</p><p>“But this person isn't here. Should he reject everyone else until then?” countered Niall.</p><p>“What experiences are we talking about anyway?” became Harry sceptical.</p><p>“All that is part of it. I might even consider it myself” mused Niall suddenly.</p><p>“Why do all people suddenly want to start when I stopped it?” furrowed Harry his eyebrows.</p><p>“Hey, I just want to know how it is” snorted Niall indignantly.</p><p>“You don't either? I knew that from Zayn but …”.</p><p>“Liam is the only one. Oh God, please don't tell Louis you know that from me” interrupted Niall him and paled right on the spot.</p><p>“Are you saying that this on the full moon ...? He has never had that before with ..” Harry couldn't finish his sentences. Niall nodded in agreement. “Now I want even less that he goes out with him. Did you see him looking at Lou with those hungry eyes and that longing? He will not touch him!” became Harry defensive.</p><p>“It has to happen at some point. It's totally normal, you know that best. And Luke isn't a bad guy. Could be a worse guy for the first time. And besides, why does that interest you? It's ultimately his business” was Niall confused or pretended to be.</p><p>“I'm just worried that he's doing something he'll regret because he feels pressured. I don't want him to get hurt” confessed Harry worriedly.</p><p>“He won't. We'll take care of him. But the subject is already tricky for him. Would be nice if things are going well for once” said Niall thoughtlessly.</p><p>“What do you mean by that?” Harry wanted to know.</p><p>“I can't say much about it, but there are reasons why he or Zayn both react so sarcastically to the subject. Which is the reason for all the Zouis jokes and the wedding. If the two marry out of principle, they could lock their problems away together. Would be perfect” hinted Niall at the problem. Niall could see how it was working in Harry's head, but to his surprise, he didn't ask further.</p><p>“Where is my book?” asked Harry himself, searching his book in his bag. During that, a note fell out that Niall picked up. It was an unfinished text. Niall read it through quickly and became curious.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Time moves in slow motion</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Afraid of my own emotions</em>
</p><p>
  <em>My heart feels finally warm</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And I wanna stay forever in your arms</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Broke a couple of hearts but the next could be mine</em>
</p><p>
  <em>My lump of ice is slowly melting</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Cause you’re the healing sun and I admire the way you </em>
  <em>shine</em>
</p><p>
  <em>(But I’m afraid of breaking)</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span class="u">Chorus:</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>I wanna hand you my confused heart</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Down on my knees, I’m begging you</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Help me solve this unknown mystery</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And pull me out of my darkest misery</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I should have known it from the start</em>
</p><p>
  <em>My confused heart is only beating for you </em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“That's good. When did you write that and about whom?”.</p><p>“What? Oh, no one. I just had an idea at the trip with my father at the weekend but I can't get any further” turned Harry to him, looking very nervous.</p><p>“Ask Liam to help you. If I'm reading that, I think he might have an idea” suggested Niall with hidden intentions.</p><p>“Yeah okay, why not” packed Harry up the text again and lunged at his chemistry book.</p><p>Niall watched him for a while. The text didn't go out of his mind. He had become curious, rather sceptical. You don't just have an idea like that for nothing. Someone must have inspired you for that. Someone special. Unclear feelings were involved. No one called a song <em>Confused Heart</em> for nothing.</p><p>Had their ice king developed feelings and seriously doubted that they would be reciprocated? As shy as he seemed lately that was very possible. Now Niall wanted to know who that was and if Harry was really aware of it. Niall had such a guess, and he was never wrong. See Zayn and Liam. Niall was always right.</p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0026"><h2>26. 24.3 Suppressed Words</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>Louis sat in the front row next to Niall on the bleachers. The game has been going on for a while and it was actually pretty interesting. The team was really good and was leading with a few points. Louis focused heavily on Luke. He wanted to give him the chance he really deserved. And it worked most of the time. He was happy with him when the game was going good and was nervous and worried when things went wrong. Not a single thought he wasted on the person who still owned his heart.</p><p>“Did I mention how much I hate these benches?” grumbled Louis as his butt hurt from sitting.</p><p>“That's the price you have to pay” replied Niall unbothered.</p><p>“At least worth it” looked Louis back onto the field. The game was almost over.</p><p>“So, it wasn't a bad idea to come?” listened Niall attentively.</p><p>“No, Luke is nice” answered Louis truthfully.</p><p>“Yeah, he is. Don't think so much. Just go for it. You have nothing to lose” encouraged Niall him.</p><p>“Hey, you two. Nice that you came” gasped Luke as he came over to them. The game was over by now.</p><p>“Hi, you were really good. Great game” praised Louis him.</p><p>“Thanks. With your support, it could only be good” he said thank you.</p><p>“Uh, there's Maya. I'll go say hello” discovered Niall their friend Maya in the crowd, leaving them alone. Louis was not nervous at all.</p><p>“I'm really glad you came” smiled Luke happily.</p><p>“I couldn't miss that” replied Louis honestly.</p><p>“You look good today, by the way” complimented Luke him.</p><p>“Oh, thanks” blushed Louis slightly.</p><p>“Have you ever played basketball?” asked Luke curiously.</p><p>“Years ago in class, but that was an eternity ago” replied Louis a bit nervous.</p><p>“Then it's about time. Come with me” reached Luke a hand out to Louis. Reluctantly, Louis ducked under the pole and followed Luke down the field to one of the baskets at the end.</p><p>“That's where we always train. Here, the ball”.</p><p>Louis caught the ball and then looked to the basket. He wanted to get the best out of the situation to forget a certain someone.</p><p>“And what exactly do I have to do now?” asked Louis him for help.</p><p>“Wait, I'll show you”. Luke got behind him and put his hands on Louis'. “Take it in both hands and fix the target”.</p><p>“Like this?” turned Louis his head to look at him and the two looked each other directly in the eyes. Louis has never been so close to anyone who didn't intimidate him.</p><p>“Exactly. And then you have to bend your hand while throwing” instructed Luke him.</p><p>Louis looked again at the ball and then at the basket. Luke put Louis' hands in the correct position and then threw it with him. The ball flew through the air and landed in the basket.</p><p>“I did it!” was Louis pleased.</p><p>“That was perfect” beamed Luke proudly.</p><p>“And I always thought I was too small for basketball”.</p><p>“You are though” appeared Niall beside them.</p><p>“Hey, he's not that small” huffed Luke.</p><p>“I like him” grinned Louis cheekily.</p><p>“Oh, I see, but I have to disappoint you. He's tiny” smirked Niall smugly.</p><p>“You're barely taller than me” pouted Louis.</p><p>“You're adorable when you pout, but let's go now. Luke is expected by his team” told Niall him.</p><p>“He's right. I should go, but we'll see each other again?” asked Luke hopefully.</p><p>“Definitely” assured Louis him.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>---&gt;</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>On Monday, the boys noticed the oncoming stress. In a week, the exams were on. In addition, the pressure on the band grew. The last performance was good, but they needed new songs. In their opinion.</p><p>“I don't know how, but we need new songs. It would be nice to sing something new next time” hit Niall the table.</p><p>“Um, Liam and I are working on one,” told Harry them unsure.</p><p>“Zayn and me, too. We started one to be precise. We might need your help with it, Liam” reported Louis.</p><p>“Really? Mine? Again?” Liam couldn't believe it.</p><p>“Yes. Yours. I think the text might please you” replied Louis, ignoring Zayn's shocked face.</p><p>“Wow, first Harry and now you. Maybe I'll be a songwriter” he joked.</p><p>“Probably not” grinned Niall nastily.</p><p>“Do you have any idea with whom you are going to this party on the last day?” changed Zayn the subject.</p><p>“I thought I could ask Maya. After all, we're friends” informed Niall them.</p><p>“I don't know yet, but I'll find somebody” shrugged Harry unbothered.</p><p>Louis' cell phone beeped and he took it out immediately. He had to smile while reading the message.</p><p>“Uhh, I know who Louis will go with” cooed Niall. “Is that from Luke? Does he want to see you?”.</p><p>“Yes and no. He just told me that I forgot my jacket with him” replied Louis honestly.</p><p>“You were with him? Tell me more” went Niall crazy.</p><p>“Nothing happened. We just talked and played football” smashed Louis Niall's hopes.</p><p>“You mean after he explained basketball so vividly to you?” Niall didn't give up.</p><p>“Man, we really missed something. We should have gone to the game” said Liam annoyed.</p><p>“I thought you wanted to study that day?” asked Niall puzzled.</p><p>“Harry wanted …”.</p><p>“Zayn, who are you going to the party with?” cut Harry him off.</p><p>“Um, no idea. Let's see what happens” he stammered overwhelmed.</p><p>“Maybe Luke has some good-looking friends” smirked Niall.</p><p>“My God, Niall. He doesn't look that good. Stop drooling” rolled Harry his eyes.</p><p>“You like girls. Nobody asked you. You can't judge that” shot Niall back provocatively.</p><p>“How is that related?” asked Louis with a raised eyebrow.</p><p>“Yeah, you’re saying he looks good” agreed Zayn with Louis.</p><p>“I'm flexible. I can judge objectively and he gets a thumbs up” clarified Niall clearly.</p><p>“Don't exaggerate. He's average, that's all” grumbled Harry.</p><p>“Guys, stop now. Everyone sees things differently” interposed Louis helplessly.</p><p>“Maybe, but Harry is just blind. Straight people …” snorted Niall over the top.</p><p>“I'm not blind. I can admit if a guy looks good” protested Harry obliviously.</p><p>“As if” spat Niall provocatively, doing this clearly on purpose for higher reasons.</p><p>“I can say that you are not ugly. That Liam is very handsome. That Zayn looks like a God and that Louis is simply beautiful, pure perfection” proved Harry his point. Then it was quiet at the table. The realization of what he had just said slipped slowly into Harry's mind.</p><p>“Oh, I see. It's nice that I'm not ugly” pointed Niall out sharply. It went exactly as he wanted it.</p><p>“You're such a goblin, Nialler” joked Zayn.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>---&gt;</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Liam and Niall's heads were steaming as they sat at a table in the Sea Snack, trying to motivate themselves to study. Only this week they had time left. Niall had so many formulas and definitions in mind, but nothing made sense.</p><p>“That's really inhuman!” exclaimed Liam suddenly.</p><p>“What are you talking about?” asked Niall confused.</p><p>“My project. Look here. I can now prove that this woman isn't pregnant in the photo” showed Liam him the file.</p><p>“Why do they do that?” Niall didn't understand.</p><p>“Seemingly managers and record bosses hire people to pretend something like that. There, the kid is also fake” explained Liam livelily.</p><p>“Was there another face copied in?” was Niall horrified.</p><p>“Yes, the face of the alleged father so that they look alike because people have seen through that” affirmed Liam.</p><p>“God, the world is a sick place” commented Niall stunned.</p><p>Suddenly Liam's head shot up instead of answering him and he was beaming. “There's Zayn”.</p><p>Zayn approached them. “Hey guys, are you studying hard?”.</p><p>“So hard that my head refuses to think” groaned Niall exhausted.</p><p>“Wow, respect Niall. I'll go and grab my juice” chuckled Zayn and headed to the counter.</p><p>He ordered his juice and tapped on his phone. Suddenly, he noticed a shadow in front of him. Curious, he looked up and saw Darcy, a girl he had luckily no classes with, standing there. She smiled seductively at him.</p><p>“Hi Zayn, what are you doing?” she asked superficially.</p><p>“Waiting” replied Zayn curtly.</p><p>“Cool. I'm waiting with you. Can I ask you something?” she didn't stop talking.</p><p>“If you need to” he replied annoyed.</p><p>“Are you going to the party with me? We would be the most beautiful couple of the evening” she enthused.</p><p>“No need” he declined. At that moment his juice was ready and without another word, he left her there.</p><p>“She didn't eat you. I'm impressed” joked Niall.</p><p>“Not yet. She wanted to go to the party with me. What about me being gay do they not understand?” wondered Zayn in disgust.</p><p>“Did you say no?” asked Liam hopefully.</p><p>“What else. Well, see you” said Zayn goodbye and disappeared from the café as fast as possible.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>---&gt;</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Louis was lying with his head at the foot of his bed and played head upside down with Harry's hair. That was more interesting than learning. He breathed in his scent and damn, Harry smelled good. That was almost unfair.</p><p>“You will never get the laws of nature in your head like this” chuckled Harry lightly.</p><p>“Maybe I don't want that” replied Louis bored.</p><p>His cell phone beeped and he let go of Harry's hair to get it out. He opened the message and laughed loudly. “Holy shit. Darcy invited Zayn to the party. He has gay graved on his forehead. What's wrong with her?”.</p><p>“That's really pathetic. She's very needy” joked Harry amused.</p><p>“They would look good together, but nope sorry, Darcy. You're missing a dick to please Zayn” Louis couldn't stop laughing.</p><p>“By the way, are you going with Luke?” asked Harry casually.</p><p>“No idea. We barely see each other due to the stress” mused Louis, throwing his phone aside.</p><p>“You could see him now. We’re really not doing anything. I can study alone” suggested Harry suddenly.</p><p>“As if I would ditch you for him,” said Louis thoughtlessly.</p><p>Harry turned around and now knelt in front of the bed. Louis was lying on his stomach by now. Their faces were now directly in front of each other.</p><p>“Really?” asked Harry incredulously.</p><p>“Really. No matter what's up with Luke, you're one of my best friends. You always have priority” assured Louis him as he looked deep into his eyes. How much he would like to close the gap now and feel Harry's lips on his own.</p><p>“I wouldn't ditch Zayn for Luke either” added Louis, repressing these thoughts.</p><p>“But he's almost your husband,” remarked Harry, still too close to Louis.</p><p>“As much as I would like that, he belongs to Liam, even though he may not yet know that,” said Louis and unobtrusively put some more space in between them.</p><p>“Do you think he realizes that and everything will be alright?” asked Harry thoughtfully.</p><p>“I hope so. Let alone just to make Zayn feel better” sighed Louis hopefully.</p><p>“Emotions seem to be exhausting” stated Harry.</p><p>“You have no idea” groaned Louis. “Tell me, have you actually got on with this matter with your mother?”.</p><p>“I searched the entire house with Sarah's help, but we didn't find one single photo, nothing. It's as if my dad deleted her existence. Then I was curious and searched through his laptop and actually found an address in the neighbouring town” told Harry him.</p><p>“What are you planning now?” Louis wanted to know interested.</p><p>“I don't know for sure. First, survive the exams. Then I think about it. Without you, I would never have noticed” let Harry him know.</p><p>“I'm sure you would have noticed on your own” waved Louis the praise off. To accept compliments wasn't his strength. For praise was the same.</p><p>“If you haven't noticed yet, I usually don't notice anything, but I'm working on it” reminded Harry him.</p><p>“I noticed” grinned Louis and rolled over. He grabbed his notebook and picked up his pen. He had just come up with another line for his song.</p><p>“Is this a new song?” asked Harry curiously.</p><p>“Yap. Yesterday the idea came over me” confirmed Louis the guess. It was a song about internalized homophobia and the way to self-acceptance. Kinda.</p><p>“Here, tell me what you think about it” handed Louis him the notebook.</p><p>“Okay” took Harry it uncertainly.</p><p>Louis could understand the reaction. Normally, he never wanted to show his things to anyone and now he just gave it to him. He didn't know where it came from himself.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>I’m not allowed to let this happen cause they’re gonna see it through</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I must be attracted to the opposite kind of you</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Sometimes I hate myself for being such a cruel liar</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Letting you in would be like playing with fire</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Why does something that wrong feels so damn right?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Against my voice of reason I want you to stay tonight</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Why does something this wrong feels so fucking right?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Baby, embrace me in your addicting light</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span class="u">Chorus:</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>You turned my world upside down, down, down</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Oh, those feelings aren’t allowed in this town</em>
</p><p>
  <em>A voice inside me keeps whispering </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Smile through the storm and you will see the rainbow</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I think I’m finally understanding and ready to let go</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Waiting for me is a paradise bay</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Cause I’m on my way to find myself</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>I followed you outside into the cold of the night</em>
</p><p>
  <em>You told me if it feels right it’s gonna be alright</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Back in my locked and lonely room</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I stare out of the window, dancing with you in the shadow of the moon</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“The lyrics are great. Meaningful. Could be a good rock number though” liked Harry what he read.</p><p>“I thought about it too, but I need another word here and another verse. Otherwise, I'm almost satisfied” leaned Louis halfway down from the bed to him.</p><p>“Nice to hear that. You really have a talent with words” praised Harry him again.</p><p>“Maybe, but only on paper” made Louis himself look bad.</p><p>“Don't put yourself down. You're good in more stuff than just that. Just accept that” smiled Harry at him.</p><p>“I ... Okay. Thanks, Haz” gave Louis in. He couldn't argue with him.</p><p>“No problem, Lou” smiled Harry, reluctantly turning back to his book.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>...</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>A while later, Louis found himself in front of a large stable and wondered why he had agreed on this. That could only go wrong. He just knew it.</p><p>“There you are. Nice that you made it” greeted Violetta him joyfully.</p><p>“How could I say no to you” he replied boldly. Since she knew he was lying to her, Louis tried everything to save the friendship. And if he had to go horseback riding for it then that's it.</p><p>“Come, the horses are over there” she pulled him with her towards two big black horses. Louis did not feel tiny at all.</p><p>The stable lads helped him with the saddles and instructed them correctly. All these things that you had to consider Louis could never remember. Hopefully, he would come out alive and in one piece. They led the horses onto a path and ascended. Together they rode through the beautiful landscape. Louis just tried not to fall down.</p><p>They didn't talk much because the silence was really good. It was the deserved rest break in the deteriorating school stress. Luckily that was over soon. After a while they rode back, saddling the horses down and leaving them to the right people. Louis didn't feel his legs anymore when he stood back on the ground.</p><p>“That was nice. The view was great” enthused Violetta happily.</p><p>“It was something else. My legs will remember that for long” noted Louis dramatically.</p><p>“You fool. Hard footballer, but a horse forces you to its knees” she laughed at him.</p><p>“Nice as always” he commented bitterly.</p><p>“I'm always nice ... Oh, beware!” wanted Violetta to pull him in when a horse came past them.</p><p>Louis tried to dodge the horse and stumbled a bit backwards but was able to steady himself before falling into the water trough.</p><p>“Thanks, Vilu” breathed Louis out a sigh of relief.</p><p>“No problem. Don't want you to get run over by a horse” joked Violetta with a laugh.</p><p>Before he could reply anything, someone crashed into him and tipped a water container over him. Out of instinct, he jumped to the side and shook himself. <em>Fuck.</em></p><p>Surprisingly, Violetta was handing him a towel they had packed before for no specific reason and threw him a look that said '<em>I know that you're running away now without a logical explanation. I know why and I know that I only get poor excuses as an answer</em>'.</p><p>How gladly Louis would say something now but he had to disappear. So he ran to the end of the stable and fell unfavourably in a horsebox because he stumbled over his own feet while his symbols and shorts appeared. The door closed and he stared at the ceiling. With the towel, he dried himself off while he cursed that he had to lie to her. She knew that and he had just proven it.</p><p>How should he explain the thing without initiating it? It was probably time to ask the others if they had an idea that didn't include the truth.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0027"><h2>27. 25.1 Welcome To The Club</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>A nice warning for your mental health ;)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>This was it. Today was the first exam. Drama. They have rehearsed the play or the scene countless times. Louis had taken over the role of the director this time because he had the least text. He was afraid of what their teacher thought of their variant of the scene.</p><p>Harry and Louis stood on one side, Violetta on the other. The two pretended to talk and Violetta opened the imaginary door. So it started.</p><p>“What's going on here?” asked Violetta indignantly. Louis and Harry both jumped and turned to face her. Panic on their faces.</p><p>“I can explain everything, Darling” ushered Harry out defensively.</p><p>“Oh, I'm looking forward to the explanation” she snorted.</p><p>“I umm” stammered Harry, holding back Louis, who just looked at him in disbelief.</p><p>“You um? Let me guess, it looks different than it really is? You did not cheat on me with him? You did not completely fool and lie to me?” she grew louder.</p><p>“It's not like that. Well, I cheated on you, but I never wanted that to happen. It just happened. The last thing I wanted was to hurt you. You're too important to me. Look at me, you know me. I'm not a bad guy just cheating on you for no reason” tried Harry to explain himself.</p><p>“I thought I knew you, but the last time I checked you were straight and you liked women and now I get to know that you have him. How can that be, Harry?” was Violetta close to tears. Wow, she was good.</p><p>“I don't know. From the moment I looked into his eyes, everything changed. I never wanted to hurt you, but I can't change my feelings” answered Harry honestly.</p><p>“I understand. Then that's it, I guess. I hope he's worth it” sighed Violetta defeated.</p><p>“He is. It's ...”.</p><p>“You cheated on her? With me? How could you do that?” spoke Louis up now, totally disappointed.</p><p>“Let me explain” begged Harry desperately.</p><p>“He didn't know that? Harry, I can't believe it” was Violetta shocked, but not really surprised.</p><p>“Oh, I didn't know anything. Monsieur here said he had broken up with you and everything would be fine between you two” replied Louis sarcastically.</p><p>“That doesn't surprise me now. He has probably become a liar” she shook her head.</p><p>“Lou, please listen to me. I can explain that” implored Harry him.</p><p>“What are you trying to explain? You're a cheater, Haz” Louis didn't want to listen to him.</p><p>“No, I am not. Yes, it happened once, but there I already wanted to end it. It was the best day of my life because I only had you. I know you would never have let that happen if you had known but I couldn't stop it at that moment. Forgive me” explained Harry desperately.</p><p>“You could've just told me. You never wanted to lie to me, Haz. How do I know this is not just a game for you?” lowered Louis his head. The last sentence was planned differently.</p><p>“It's not. It never was. Lou, look at me” lifted Harry his chin. Carefully, they looked each other in the eye.</p><p>“It's not a game. Not for me. I would never do that to you after everything you've been through. You're so important to me. More important than anyone else, more important than my own life. You make me a better person by just being there. I want to be better for you. I wanted to talk to her today if everything went according to plan, but it never does. Believe me, that's the truth. You know when I'm lying” looked Harry deep into his eyes. Louis had to swallow hard. It was so hard for him to just feel that as a role and not take it seriously.</p><p>“For real?” he breathed out softly.</p><p>Harry put a hand to his cheek and rubbed his thumb over it. Okay, that was not part of it. Louis got uncontrollable Goosebumps everywhere.</p><p>“For real. Damn Lou, I only want you” said Harry too convincingly and came closer to him.</p><p>Louis was frozen at that moment. Harry's face got even closer to him and before he knew it, he felt Harry's lips on his. Harry cupped Louis' face with both hands and closed his eyes. Louis didn't understand anything anymore and his eyes closed on their own. He knew that Harry was just improvising because it suited the moment, but he didn't care. This moment would never come again and his heart was longing for it so much. Their lips were just above each other. No movement, no hassle. Just a little too long soft kiss that Louis would never forget.</p><p>“That must be true love” sighed Violetta, tearing the two out of their bubble.</p><p>They broke away but didn't look at each other. Louis almost forgot where they were. Fortunately, Violetta decided to say one last sentence that wasn't planned at all. The class was quiet. Too quiet. Out of nowhere everybody started to clap. Everyone was in awe. Their teacher also seemed very enthusiastic.</p><p>“Wow. This was unique. Unexpected and very emotional. The anger was well played, Violetta. And then how it went from anger to disappointment was great, Louis. But that love, I could feel it. Very real, Harry. And you don't get to see a kiss often. Especially not one like this. You really impressed me” the teacher praised them. Relieved, the three of them sat back down and breathed out. One less load.</p><p>“That worked out great,” said Violetta happily.</p><p>“Yes, you were great” praised Louis her</p><p>“Thanks. But you, too. Both. Very convincing” she grinned. At that moment Louis knew that she knew what Louis felt for Harry for sure.</p><p>“That's how it should be. Convincing” stated Harry.</p><p>“Too convincing” she turned away from the two and looked at the scene of Bailey and Maya with Kevin.</p><p>Louis also tried to concentrate on it, but he still felt the kiss on his lips, this tingling. Harry hadn’t known that he had little to zero experience in it and that he was now only the second guy he had ever kissed. Yes, there has been Kyle, but that was just the one time, after which he was more likely to attack him with kisses on his neck or something. Yes, there was the full moon, but that was totally different and he wasn't himself. This was just his second real kiss and it wasn't even a real kiss. Just Harry's lips on his for five seconds or so for a stupid scene.</p><p>“Um, sorry, Lou. I didn't mean to ... no idea where this came from. It just fit in. Sorry, I didn't want to take you by surprise. Sorry” whispered Harry to him.</p><p>“That's alright. I know that you improvised. All good” swallowed Louis the lump in his throat with his dignity.</p><p>“So, everything is fine between us and you're not mad?” asked Harry hopefully.</p><p>“Why should I be mad? Everything is good. Just a kiss” said Louis but didn't look at him. For Louis, it was more than just a kiss and Harry would notice that right away.</p><p>“Exactly. Just a kiss. Didn't mean anything” agreed Harry visibly relieved.</p><p>“Jap, nothing at all” mumbled Louis hurt, popping the P.</p><p>Even though he knew that those words hit him very hard spoken by Harry. He had to forget him once and for all, and that's best today in this very moment.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>---&gt;</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Zayn hopped nervously on the spot. The pictures, drawings and paintings out of their art class were exhibited for all classes today. He didn't know what the purpose was if she could just view and rate the pictures on her own. Why show everyone?</p><p>Zayn wasn't satisfied with his work. It had been difficult for him to paint a paradise, but at some point, he had an idea. When he thought of the feeling of safety and security it struck him like lightning. Hopefully, she would like it.</p><p>He stood nervously in front of his picture and looked at the blue sea, the white fluffy clouds, the free birds flying through the half-dark sky, the setting sun that coloured the sea in orange tones. The rising full moon on the other side, approaching the magical island. A perfect moment. His paradise.</p><p>“Joey, that's great” marvelled Louis next to him.</p><p>“He's right. The painting is great. Quite extraordinary. You can feel the peace and quiet right here” praised his teacher Zayn.</p><p>“Thank you” blushed Zayn under all the praise.</p><p>“And you were worried” grinned Niall cheekily.</p><p>“How was it with you?” asked Zayn distractingly.</p><p>“Fantastic. I'm almost a golf pro” laughed Niall cheerfully.</p><p>“Course you are. Everything was alright for me” reported Liam amused.</p><p>“Everything was more than good with us. There was even a little lip action” threw Violetta an arm around Zayn from behind.</p><p>“What?” was Zayn utterly confused.</p><p>“Someone was kissed” she pointed at Louis.</p><p>“Seriously?” asked Niall in surprise.</p><p>“It was just for the scene” mumbled Louis, still a bit shaken by it.</p><p>“That wasn't in the script” noted Violetta smugly.</p><p>“Improvisation, not more” denied Louis everything.</p><p>“If you say so. Hey, the picture reminds me of something” looked Violetta at Zayn’s beautiful painting more closely. Zayn could see it in her eyes. She was connecting the dots right now. “Is that one of those strange islands?” she wondered and looked at the boys, who all looked down, avoiding her gaze. “Why am I even asking? As if I would get an answer”.</p><p>Zayn looked at Liam, who nodded in agreement. Then he cleared his throat so Louis looked up at him. He subtly nodded to Violetta and then over to the picture. Louis looked at him wide-eyed but understood without another word. They had talked about it two days ago and they had all agreed on it. Of course, they had reservations. Some more than others. But in the end, they all agreed because it was the best and only option. That was the moment and Louis was the one supposed to do it. The time was now.</p><p>“Come with me,” he said softly to Vilu and took her hand.</p><p>“Where are we going?” she wondered surprised.</p><p>“I want to show you something” he pulled her with him. There was no return. That was it.</p><p> </p><p>...</p><p> </p><p>Hand in hand, Louis and Violetta went down to the beach. The fear rose inside him but he knew that it had to be done. He stopped shortly in front of the water and just looked at the calm familiar waves. Slowly, he released her hand and turned around to face her.</p><p>“Sure you wanna know my secret?” he asked nervously. Violetta just nodded confused.</p><p>Breathing heavily, he turned back to the water. With big steps, he went into the ocean and immediately felt the water on his legs, which caused a reflexive panic to hit him but he shook it off. He walked a few more steps ahead and then dived into it. The familiar tingling in his legs was felt and he just knew the symbols had appeared. He reappeared cautiously and opened his eyes timidly. With one hand he divided the water a bit with his air powers so Violetta could see him properly. With the colourful strands in his hair, the element symbol on his neck, the shorts and the symbols on his legs.</p><p>Violetta stood rooted to the spot and looked at him. He was nervously waiting for a reaction from her. Surprisingly, Violetta ran into the water, appearing right in front of him. “Impressive” she smiled brightly and hugged him happily.</p><p>Louis has never been so relieved in his life, yet. Not only did he not have to lie to her anymore, but she was also totally okay with it.</p><p>Afterwards, he told her everything from the beginning and she just listened interested and attentively. The story was pretty weird after all but it was good to let it all out. In the end, she promised him without it coming from himself that she will keep their secret and will help them as much as possible.</p><p>Overjoyed, he sent his friends a message with the good news and half an hour later Liam and Violetta were sitting on a rock on the beach far away from any crowds.</p><p>“Welcome to the club” joked Liam happily. Violetta just smiled at him before facing the other four boys again.</p><p>Louis, Niall, Harry and Zayn were already swimming out in the ocean, looking back at their friends for a split second. Liam and Violetta watched them carefully, brightly beaming. The four of them swam through the ocean. They hadn't done that in forever. Their previous routine had been lost in the stress. They had missed this. The feeling of being part of the sea and this magical world. With wide grins, they looked at each other and felt as good as ever. Their two friends outside were always there for them and they had each other. Now nothing could break them apart anymore.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>...</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The same day was the next full moon. It was easy to forget that surprisingly. Violetta offered her help, but they gratefully refused. The next day was their next exam so they went to bed early for both reasons. Everything was sealed and the alarm rang only after complete moonset. That was the first full moon on which nothing went wrong. They slept calmly and woke up with full consciousness. And more importantly, with memories. Nothing happened and that was a relief.</p><p>The rest of the week was a mix of exams, rehearsals and Liam's mysterious work. A co-worker of him and Liam himself had still been working on this kind of lotion for people who had a water allergy. It was supposed to make the water rebound from their skin to decrease the burning. For some strange reason, Liam had the weird idea to change the formula and create a water protection for the boys even though it actually wasn't needed at all. They were perfectly fine most of the time.</p><p>Liam did it anyway in every free second. Did the guys mention that in the exam week they only had to come to the respective exam and otherwise were free? So yeah, Liam had plenty of time for that.</p><p>In addition, they rehearsed a lot for their last performance before the holidays on Saturday. Zayn wouldn't be there during the holidays and they didn't want to play without him. They diligently rehearsed the new songs. Together they wrote <em>Make A Change</em>. It was important for them to write a song with a message. Louis' song <em>Finding Myself</em>, they've turned into a real rock number. Still, he was a bit worried if people would like a song about internalized homophobia.</p><p>The song by Louis and Zayn that they had finished with Liam was <em>Only One For You</em>. Here there was no denying what the two had thought of. As Liam read the text, his expression changed to confusion. He probably wondered whom they might mean. Harry's reaction was very own. He seemed almost sad or downcast. No idea why. Only Niall sat back grinning broadly that day and looked as if he was the only one who knew something.</p><p>With <em>Confused Heart,</em> Louis and Zayn were next in line with the question marks in their heads. Liam and Harry had written partly about best friends who felt more than friendship and awoken feelings. Also in this song, Niall acted as if he was the only one that had the perspective.</p><p>The song caused Zayn to have false hopes. The whole week was all about exams or dates for the party. Zayn had the hope through the confusing text, Liam would ask him, but nothing happened so far. With each passing day, the disappointment grew.</p><p>On Friday after the final exam, Harry, Niall, Louis and Zayn sat near the beach and enjoyed the freedom. Niall had just asked Maya if they would go to the party as friends and she had said yes. Zayn still hoped for a miracle but nothing happened.</p><p>“Unbelievable that the party is already today” astonished Louis.</p><p>“This will be absolutely phenomenal” rejoiced Niall excitedly.</p><p>“Zayn, are you alright?” asked Harry a bit worried.</p><p>“Yeah, it's just …” trailed Zayn off.</p><p>“Liam” finished Harry his sentence knowingly.</p><p>“I can't go on like this” groaned Zayn helplessly.</p><p>“He's pretty distracted with his work. Maybe he forgot” mused Louis.</p><p>“How do you forget that? It's practically everywhere and he talked about it himself” hooked Harry thoughtlessly. Louis simply glared at him.</p><p>“I know that he doesn't want anything from me, but I still had the hope we could go at least as friends” admitted Zayn sadly.</p><p>“He just texted me. Looks like he's still busy at work with that dude” coughed Niall awkwardly.</p><p>“That's enough” breathed Zayn out and took out his phone. He didn't even question the fact he had her number saved.</p><p>“Hi, is your offer still available?” asked Zayn bluntly when Darcy picked up.</p><p>“Always for you, Sweetie. We'll all outdo everyone with our beauty. Get ready. I'll be wearing something sexy” told Darcy him. Disgusted, he ended the call and took a deep breath. Did he just really do that?</p><p>“Wow, that was radical” clicked Louis his tongue.</p><p>“You have no idea” groaned Zayn desperately.</p><p>“Hey Guys” came Luke over to them.</p><p>“Hi, everything alright?” greeted Niall him.</p><p>“Everything's great. Louis, can I talk to you for a minute?” asked Luke nervously.</p><p>“Sure” replied Louis, following Luke a bit away from the others.</p><p>“I know it's short-term but are you going to the party with me? We can go there as anything you want. As friends. As whatever ... As um ...?” rambled Luke cutely.</p><p>Louis had to grin and stopped Luke's rambling with a shaking head. “With pleasure”.</p><p>“Honestly? Wow, that's great” was Luke pleased.</p><p>“Yeah. It is. See you tonight” confirmed Louis sweetly.</p><p>“Yes, tonight. I'll pick you up” beamed Luke.</p><p>“Okay,” said Louis and went back to the others.</p><p>“Someone is beaming” commented Niall, half-singing.</p><p>“Did he ask you?” squeezed Zayn him out.</p><p>“Yes, but only to clear that up right away. We're going there as friends” clarified Louis, knowing his friends way too good for that.</p><p>“Of course and then they're pregnant” grinned Niall weirdly.</p><p>“That makes no sense, Niall,” remarked Louis amused.</p><p>“And with whom are you going, Harry?” asked Zayn curiously.</p><p>“I go as a free man and just dance with everyone” snorted Harry. Zayn and Louis frowned.</p><p>“All the old womanizer” joked Niall.</p><p>“Exactly” rolled Harry his eyes.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0028"><h2>28. 25.2 At The Top *</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Trigger Warning</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>The evening came faster than expected. Niall was just picking up his clothes and Zayn put on his dark blue shirt. They were in Zayn's room and Harry was watching the two of them amused by the bed while Liam was focused on his phone, furiously texting with someone the whole time and not paying them any attention.</p><p>“For not having any real dates you're pretty stressed” laughed Harry entertained.</p><p>“Shut up. Not everyone can be a free spirit like you” hissed Niall. Harry just stuck his tongue out at him.</p><p>“It’s done. It really worked” jumped Liam up excitedly and startled them with his outburst.</p><p>“What are you talking about?” looked Niall at him funny.</p><p>“The lotion is ready and worked on our test person. You're safe now” told Liam them happily and hold up a tube of lotion he had with him in case he would get the answer in time for the party.</p><p>“Well, can't go more than totally wrong” took Niall the lotion and used it. Then he threw it over to Zayn.</p><p>“Wait, you're already done? Damn it, I lost track of time again” thought Liam out loud and glanced down at his normal clothes.</p><p>“Maya is waiting downstairs. I'll go down” announced Niall and left while the awkward tension filled the room.</p><p>“Sometimes I'm really stupid” stated Liam because he had forgotten the time.</p><p>“You're right about that” agreed Harry ambiguously.</p><p>“Zayn, you’re ready too? Damn it, I’m late. Just give me a second and then I’m …”.</p><p>“Zayn, here is someone for you!” called Zayn's mother from below. With an apologetic look, Zayn went downstairs.</p><p>“Who's here? Who's he going with?” Liam wanted to know.</p><p>“You won't like it” sighed Harry.</p><p>Together, they went downstairs. In the hall, Darcy was standing all dressed up in a short tight dress.</p><p>“Let's go,” said Niall quickly to get out of here. Maya took his arm and they left the house.</p><p>“Well, you look good. Really tasty” winked Darcy weirdly and pulled on Zayn's clothes. She totally ignored his mother and his mother totally ignored her.</p><p>“He's going with her?” whispered Liam to Harry.</p><p>“She asked. Why? Would you rather have gone with him?” smirked Harry.</p><p>“As a Date? Of course not, but I thought we would go as friends. I was sure we would. I should have asked him if he wanted a Date instead of me. But it's okay. He can go with whoever he wants. I just have a weird feeling” explained Liam why he hasn't asked Zayn.</p><p>“Anger or sadness when you see them together? When you aren't with him?” hooked Harry, ignoring the rest because it was typically stupid of them.</p><p>“Um, I think so” stammered Liam.</p><p>“My friend, you're jealous. You like Zayn as more than just a friend. And don't even bother to deny it. Your face says it all. It's okay” concluded Harry knowingly.</p><p>“But what am I supposed to do now?” asked Liam, trying not to argue.</p><p>“We're leaving” announced Zayn loudly.</p><p>“Are you not coming?” asked Darcy her question to Harry and Liam. Liam just shook his head.</p><p>“I'll change first. I'll come by later” answered Harry to ease the tension.</p><p>She just shrugged and moved outside. Zayn's mother stood next to Harry and Liam with a frown on her face.</p><p>“And you let him go with her just like that?” wondered Zoey, Zayn's mother, confused.</p><p>“I don't have a say in that” mumbled Liam defeated.</p><p>“Nonsense. He wanted to go with you” she let him know.</p><p>“That's true” agreed Harry with her.</p><p>“And you, Harry? Not on the way to Louis?” she asked in confusion.</p><p>“What? Why should I ... ? No, I um, he's going with Luke and ... I go alone” he stammered overwhelmed.</p><p>“Mm, two idiots” she mumbled barely audible.</p><p>“What?” Liam and Harry asked. Nobody understood her.</p><p>“Not so important. Let's go now” she shook her head.</p><p>“I don't know if …” started Liam unsurely.</p><p>“Go ahead. You're the only one who deserves him” patted Zoey him on the back.</p><p>“Exactly. Get your man” motivated Harry him.</p><p>Together they left the house. Harry went home to change and Liam went determined to the party. With absolutely no plan what he should do.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>...</p><p> </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>In his room, Harry quickly changed and looked at his phone. It was way too early to leave again, so he dropped back onto his huge bed. He didn't feel like this stupid party, but Liam was now there with newfound feelings for Zayn, who was with Darcy because he thought he could never have Liam. What a mess. Harry hoped they would sort it out and finally get together. Each jerk saw that the two belonged together. How could Liam not notice his own feelings for so long?</p><p>From Zayn and Liam, his thoughts wandered to Louis, who would soon be picked up by Luke. Louis, who was far too good for the world and deserved only the best. But for Harry, that wasn't Luke. Louis, who was still hiding something from him. Something Harry still hadn't found out. He thought of the party and what the party might lead to for Louis. At this thought, his stomach tightened. He suspected that he was scared Louis could do something he'll regret.</p><p>Again the uncertainty gnawed at him. He needed to know what Louis didn't tell him. Moodily, he rolled over and picked up his notepad and scanned his list. He'd started a list of things he'd noticed a while ago, but so far everything didn't make sense in his eyes. He went through his memory and added more stuff.</p><p>-&gt; <em>He is afraid to talk about it</em>:</p><p>That was probably the most important point. He can't talk about it. In Harry's dream, Louis wanted to tell him but couldn't do it because he was afraid. Afraid of more scars and maybe rejection?</p><p>
  <em>-&gt; He has major trust issues: </em>
</p><p>He had noticed that early on. He used to think it was funny, but now he was wondering why. Why did Louis think everyone would leave him and betray him? Why didn't he trust anyone? Nobody except for Zayn, Liam and Niall. What happened?</p><p>
  <em>-&gt; Louis flinches at the slightest physical contact: </em>
</p><p>That was a point where Harry got a guilty conscience. He had exploited this insight without a hitch to torture Louis. He stiffened immediately if you came too close to him. At first, especially with Harry but not anymore. Although there was a relapse when Kyle was around. With Zayn, Louis suddenly no longer knew this fear. Was Louis beaten earlier? No, his mother wouldn't do that. Maybe his father?</p><p>
  <em>-&gt;</em>
  <em> Kyle:</em>
</p><p>This arse that suddenly appeared. When he was here Louis behaved particularly strange. Harry was sure that Kyle was guilty in some way.</p><p>Now Harry had to think carefully. Louis had said he came from America, they were at one school and he was an arse. Harry also knew that Louis had lived in America. He also remembered that when he mentioned Malibu, all four suddenly looked like someone had died. So, Harry concluded that Louis had lived there and had known Kyle and that something had happened.</p><p>He remembered this cruel note again. He had called him a <em>Little</em> <em>Worthless Piece Of Shit</em>, as had Harry before their last vacation. To hear these words again was probably disturbing. Harry will never forgive himself for ever saying that. But why did Kyle say that? Sure, he was a disgusting asshole, that had advised Louis to kill himself, harassed him and repeatedly referred to him as a bitch.</p><p>Was Louis perhaps not as innocent as they all thought? Besides, Kyle wanted Harry to join in ... In what? What was Kyle doing at the time?</p><p>
  <em>-&gt;</em>
  <em> He was beaten in an old school:</em>
</p><p>By the time the thing happened with Aidan, Harry had accidentally learned that it had happened before. Louis' mother was worried but he wanted to cover it up. Why would you beat him? Was that also in America? Was it Kyle? Or was that somewhere else? Was that in England where he had talked to only one person because of ... because of what?</p><p>In England, a ‘<em>friend’</em> had killed himself because of Conversion Therapy and homophobic assholes. That had certainly left a negative mark on him, but according to his story, he was already marked before. So, whatever it was has happened before.</p><p>
  <em>-&gt;</em>
  <em> Louis is very insecure and not convinced of himself: </em>
</p><p>He had noticed that early on, for example at the first rehearsal. You could hurt him so easily with comments on his voice. He doesn't think good of himself. Thinks he couldn't write lyrics, would have a terrible voice and be replaceable and insignificant, which was nonsense. Who had destroyed his self-esteem that way?</p><p>Louis said every little word can trigger something and people would ruthlessly offend people who are already on the ground anyway. Again and again, he stressed how hurtful words can be. Therefore, Harry could only imagine that Louis had to hear many bad things. Like his dead friend or Kyle. Kyle again.</p><p>
  <em>-&gt; Zayn and Niall wanted to kill Kyle:</em>
</p><p>When he was there, they threatened him if he would come near Louis again they would hurt him. But even before, Zayn threatened to kill someone in Malibu. He probably talked about Kyle. Both are peaceful people. What had Kyle done that they wanted to kill him?</p><p>
  <em>-&gt; One night when they thought Harry was sleeping, Niall had said Louis was a burnt child. He said Louis shouldn't ask too much of himself: </em>
</p><p>This confused Harry until today.</p><p>
  <em>-&gt; Louis cut himself: </em>
</p><p>Harry knew that for sure. He still hadn't processed that and Louis didn't know he knew it. You don't do that without a reason. Harry looked at the dots above and concluded that the beating, the bad words and the uncertainty could have led to it. Maybe Kyle ...</p><p>
  <em>-&gt; Zayn and Louis are not each other’s first choice: </em>
</p><p>No idea how Harry got into that now, but it suddenly came to him. They mentioned that once. At that time, Harry had wondered who was the first choice. Zayn's was obvious, but what about Louis? Was he unhappy in love?</p><p>
  <em>-&gt; The recurring marriage joke of Zouis: </em>
</p><p>Someone had told him, he thought it was Niall, that was their way of dealing with certain things in a funny way. They made jokes about running away from problems, which they could lock up together. Was that the case in Malibu again? What happened back then?</p><p>
  <em>-&gt; Sexual Innuendos: </em>
</p><p>That was something that Louis used over and over again. Once the subject of sex was mentioned, he ridiculed it or made it dying dirty. Harry knew that was a kind of protective mechanism. But for what? Louis forcedly said he regretted the kiss with his ex but didn't want to tell at Truth or Dare why they had split up.</p><p><em>His last relationship could also be a reason for that, </em>Harry thought.</p><p>
  <em>-&gt;</em>
  <em> Niall and Brandon consider Larry problematic and unrealistic: </em>
</p><p>How so? What was so strange about it? And why on earth did he think of that now? Harry could think about that another time. Now there was a more important puzzle to solve.</p><p>-&gt; Harry had once overheard Louis and Jasmine talking and she had said he would close himself off and was more reserved. So she didn't know what had happened. Zayn had also noticed that and was appalled. Louis told her almost everything. So it had to be really bad.</p><p>
  <em>-&gt; The incident on Louis' bed after a rehearsal: </em>
</p><p>Harry would never forget that. He had sexually harassed Louis as he pleased and made fun of his anxiety at that moment. The thought made him sick. But why did it seem to him that the rigidity wasn't just because of that? Not only because of him?</p><p>
  <em>-&gt; Louis was strictly against sex without feelings: </em>
</p><p>That was a big thing for Louis from the beginning. He disapproved of sex without feelings. He hated nothing more. That Harry had slept with so many girls, Louis found cruel. He always made fun of it or showed his dislike. He insisted that it was better with feelings, but how did he know that? Through Niall, Harry knew that Louis was a virgin and the full moon was the first real experience of it. Why was Louis so sure then? Or was he just against sex without feelings for personal reasons?</p><p><em>-&gt;</em> <em>The cheating topic Louis didn't like at all:</em></p><p>When he suggested it, Louis was immediately against it, as was his role. Sure it is something bad but that seemed weird. He seemed so traumatized. Like every time someone spoke of how great it had to be to fuck him or mentioned his ass. Every time you could see the pain in his eyes. Those beautiful eyes in which Harry lost himself so often and didn't know why. They contained so much pain and anxiety.</p><p> </p><p>Slowly, it began to work in Harry's head. He stared at the notes and a few things stuck out like flames. Kyle was connected with everything. He had left Louis in a terrible state. Besides, Louis never seriously talked about sex and cheating was like a red light for him. A while ago Harry had come up with the idea that Kyle was Louis' ex, but he thought it was ridiculous because Kyle was an ass. But with all the points and parallels, Harry couldn't miss it anymore. Kyle was Louis' ex.</p><p>Kyle must have been awful; he had experienced it himself. Louis was totally intimidated and Kyle clearly showed his hatred. Sex was unthinkable for Louis without feelings. Kyle didn't seem that way. Louis was a virgin ...</p><p>Oh, Kyle had cheated on him and due to that, he had all these problems. But why did he do that? Had Louis kept him waiting for too long?</p><p>So, that was the big secret. Louis' asshole ex had cheated on him. Not a nice experience, but was that enough reason to develop a trauma? To be over dramatically paranoid? Yes, that certainly hurt, but maybe he shouldn't have kept him waiting for so long. Not that Harry's good with that, but he knew how great sex was. To abstain from sex despite having a boyfriend was certainly frustrating. But he also called Louis a bitch and visibly hated him. Did Louis maybe cheat on him and wasn't an innocent virgin as everyone thought?</p><p>No, he would never do that. So, Kyle had cheated on Louis once. Was cheating enough reason to distrust everyone? Harry had expected something worse and didn't think Louis would overreact like that. He had to talk to him about that soon.</p><p>Harry closed his notepad, packed it into his packed bag and tugged his clothes right. He had to go to the party now. As he walked out of his door he heard noises from his father's room. He knew this kind of noise. He had heard it too often. Yes, sex was a disturbing topic sometimes. He could understand Louis better than he thought.</p><p>He softly opened his father's bedroom door to tell him he was leaving. That may sound strange to others, but it was normal here. His father didn't let that bother him and Harry had seen it too many times to be shocked. He looked through the crack of the door and looked at the bed. Shocked was still nicely expressed. There his father was wildly and loudly pounding balls-deep into someone.</p><p>But it was not a woman.</p><p>An unknown man was lying underneath his father, panting heavily. He could see both dicks. One between them dripping with pre-cum. And one rocking in and out of the guy's ass. The picture was disturbing. His father was a heartless person. The guy didn't look like he was enjoying it. His face was painfully distorted, but that didn't seem to bother his father at all. Ruthlessly, he pushed into him again and again. Harry had read about something like that. Let's say the guy will not be very happy afterwards.</p><p>Distraught and shocked by the sight, Harry closed the door again, grabbed his bag and just ran outside. He couldn't and didn't want to think about it anymore. His father was a cruelly brutal person and he had just seen it with his own eyes.</p><p>He didn't know where he was running to. His thoughts were everything he perceived. The entire world seemed to revolve around him and it was difficult for him to breathe. He kept running until he finally stopped. He looked up, panting, and found himself in front of Louis' house.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>---&gt;</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p> </p><p>Louis was walking back and forth in the living room with his phone in his hand. He felt awful. He had just ditched Luke with the excuse that there was a family emergency. That was a lie. Louis just couldn't go with him. It didn't feel right. He wanted to give him a chance, but that wasn't possible. It was too early. Louis decided not to go to the party but just stare at the wall.</p><p>Suddenly, the doorbell rang and tore him out of his thoughts. He went in amazement and opened the door. He looked surprised in Harry's panicked face. “Harry, what are you doing here? Shouldn't you be at the party?”.</p><p>“May I come in?” asked Harry quite done.</p><p>“Sure, come in” let Louis him in. They sat down on the sofa and Harry pulled his knees against his chest.</p><p>“What happened, Haz?” asked Louis worried.</p><p>“I caught my dad having sex with a guy. He didn't even notice me, he was too deep in. I ran out of there and then I was suddenly here” reported Harry shocked.</p><p>“I don't want to imagine how cruel that had been. I don't want to see my mother like this” shuddered Louis at the thought.</p><p>“I've seen it too often before, but that was a shock. How can he?” asked Harry incredulously.</p><p>“Is it so bad that it was a guy?” inquired Louis hurt.</p><p>“Oh God no, that's not it, Lou. You have to believe me. It's just .... my dad ... ironically him” made Harry clear the problem was elsewhere. Louis didn't urge him to continue talking but just waited.</p><p>“This guy will most likely regret it at this very moment. My dad was anything but considerate. He probably kicked him out in the meantime. Hopefully, the guy's fine. I don't want to imagine what my dad ... I can't even say it” covered Harry his face with his hands.</p><p>“I understand what you want to say. Unfortunately. That must have been terrible” said Louis understandingly, knowing that with his bad luck that guy ended up beaten up by now alone on the street.</p><p>“Cruel. My dad is a monster. What if I'm one too?” feared Harry.</p><p>“You're not. This conversation proves that. You find your father's deeds cruel so you would never do that yourself” assured Louis him.</p><p>“Thank you, Louis” hiccuped Harry and Louis smiled encouragingly at him.</p><p>“What's in the bag?” asked Louis as he noticed the bag next to the door.</p><p>“I decided to visit my mother and find out what really happened. I had already packed the bag and took it with me when I ran out. I don't want to go back there today. Let's see if my mother recognizes me again” explained Harry mournfully.</p><p>“She doesn't know you're coming?” hooked Louis confused.</p><p>“No, I had no possibility to contact her beforehand. And my dad doesn't know either that I'm going away. He would try to stop me. I just have to know what happened” expounded Harry desperately.</p><p>“I understand that. That's a good idea. Fathoming the past is always good” encouraged Louis him. At this Harry looked at him for the first time and Louis wondered what he was thinking.</p><p>“Lou, I need to talk to you. It's important” became Harry suddenly deadly serious.</p><p>“Okay, what about?” asked Louis sceptically.</p><p>“I know what happened in Malibu” blurted Harry out.</p><p>“What?” was Louis taken back.</p><p>“I'm not completely stupid. I can count one and one together. Lou, why didn't you tell me?” Harry wanted to know.</p><p>“I just couldn't. I um ..” stammered Louis helplessly.</p><p>“I know that wasn't great, but you told everyone else except for me. Why couldn't you say such a thing to me? What's so terrible about it that I wasn't supposed to know?” Harry didn't understand.</p><p>“What's terrible about it? Are you serious?” Louis couldn't believe it.</p><p>“I know he hurt you but is that reason enough to not trust anyone, to always jerk away and loath sex? I've noticed these things, Lou,” said Harry indignantly.</p><p>“Just because you add Lou everywhere, it's no less offensive” replied Louis sassily.</p><p>“There. You're doing it again. I can't talk about it seriously with you. You're always blocking, but only with me. I thought you trusted me” got Harry angry.</p><p>“I do, but this topic is difficult for me. I can't just talk about it” justified Louis himself.</p><p>“But you do with the others. Don't be so over-dramatically paranoid. Yes, it was bad, but no reason to treat me so badly, push everybody away or cut yourself. Why don't you talk to me?” snapped Harry at him.</p><p>“How do you know that?” was Louis referring to the cutting in horror.</p><p>“I saw the scars on your arm and Zayn's worry. I'm not that stupid” explained Harry annoyed.</p><p>Louis looked ashamed to the ground and tried not to cry. It was so hard for him to talk about it and now Harry was mocking him so baselessly.</p><p>“Don't you want to say anything?” became Harry impatient. Louis shook his head, making Harry roll his eyes. “That's really childish. I know it anyway, why is it so hard for you? It's not that bad”.</p><p>“What are you talking about?” shot Louis' head up now. Something was off here.</p><p>“Still Kyle. Yeah, he cheated on you, but that's not the end of the world. Of course, it's shit and it takes a lot to process, but you could have told me. To get cheated on because you didn't want to fuck is shit, but I wouldn't have judged you, Lou. Why should I?” Harry just didn't stop talking bullshit.</p><p>Louis shook his head in disbelief and stood up. “Unbelievable” he sighed.</p><p>“Lou, no one reproaches you. This happens” Harry wanted to reassure him.</p><p>“You're so stupid, Harry. I just can't believe it. You think that happened and really believe that's my own fault because you should just give in if someone wants it?” was Louis totally horrified.</p><p>“I didn't say that” contradicted Harry.</p><p>“But hinted. Fuck, Harry! You've noticed all these things, connected them and came to the wrong conclusion. Congratulations” clapped Louis into his hands.</p><p>“What do you mean by that? Did Kyle not …”.</p><p>“No, he didn't cheat on me, but nice to know that you think that's harmless. You really never had a broken heart” interrupted Louis him.</p><p>“What is it then? Just tell me. I'm tired of it” snorted Harry annoyed.</p><p>“Oh really? How nice of you that it's all about you. That's exactly why I'm not telling you” replied Louis stunned.</p><p>“What do you think how I feel as the only one to be left out?” he almost shouted at Louis.</p><p>“I know that's shit, but I just can't!” shouted Louis back and wanted to leave the room.</p><p>Harry jumped up and grabbed Louis by the arm. “You're not just leaving. Talk to me. Now!”.</p><p>“Fuck, Harry! You were there when Kyle was here. You fucking saw it and you still don't get what happened? You think something <em>‘harmless’</em> like cheating triggered my sex trauma? I would have ditched Luke today because I was cheated on? Cheating destroys you, even if it was only once for the record ... My God, use your brain. Stop forcing me to do it!!! I just can't. My head doesn't let me, although I want to. Every time I think about telling you I see this one day in front of my eyes where I wanted to tell you everything, but you fucked everything up. I was so close to telling you but then you let me down. I don't want to relive this moment. Even if I wanted to I couldn't do it. But right now I don't want to, not after what you just said” shouted Louis at him. Harry jumped back, unused to Louis' sudden outbursts.</p><p>“Think for once not only about yourself” added Louis softly. Tears on his face.</p><p>“I just want to know like the rest” clarified Harry stubbornly.</p><p>“Yeah, like it's super exciting. I'm telling you, it's not. You have wrong reasons. It's not a great surprise. It's a secret. It's my life. My incurable scar. I'm scared to tell you. Scared of a new scar because of you. I just can't” let Louis out the tears. He tore his arm out of Harry's grip and ran to the door.</p><p>“Louis!” called Harry after him, but Louis kept walking.</p><p>He just kept running. Tears were already all over his face. Harry was so fucking stupid. He had to do something about the pain. He had to numb those feelings. There was only one good option. Alcohol. Much alcohol.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>---&gt;</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Niall was dancing with Maya to the beat of an upbeat song very fast and wild and had the time of his life. But after a while, he realized that Liam was standing in the corner, looking all sad and that neither Louis nor Harry had appeared. Gradually, he was worried.</p><p>“Maya, I'll go over to Liam, okay?” he whispered in her ear over the loud music.</p><p>“Do that. He doesn't look very happy. I go and look for Bay” she replied understandingly.</p><p>Niall squeezed through the clutches of dancing students. On the way, he passed Zayn and Darcy. She tried to seduce him, but he kept avoiding her. Someone had to urgently shake this girl awake.</p><p>“Well, you fun gun. Who are we watching?” threw Niall an arm around Liam.</p><p>“No one” blurted Liam out too fast.</p><p>“Your face betrays you. Do something or you'll regret it” told Niall him.</p><p>“Why did everyone know about it except me?” wondered Liam almost ashamed.</p><p>“From the outside, it's often more obvious. But believe me, I've already asked that myself. No idea how you couldn't notice that for so long. But you're not the only idiot” replied Niall casually.</p><p>“And the worst part is, I told him very clearly that I wouldn't want there to be more between us, so I destroyed every little chance” recalled Liam guiltily. “Not that I have one at all. Look at him and then look at me. He's perfect”.</p><p>This self-pity Niall could no longer bear and slapped Liam therefore once. “Stop this crap. Zayn is always talking about you. You two can't be without each other. You two are so stupid. You like him, he likes you. Where is the problem? Talk to him”.</p><p>“Feelings aren't my strength. I only understood that today. How am I supposed to tell him? He sees me only as a friend. Otherwise, he would have told me after the kiss” pointed Liam out.</p><p>“Urgh, you two are driving me crazy. Talk to him, what's stopping you?” got Niall frustrated.</p><p>“He's here with Darcy,” said Liam simply.</p><p>“Do you really think he is here with her voluntarily? Besides, hello, he is gayer than a unicorn. Just get your man” Niall couldn't stand it any longer.</p><p>“That's what Harry said as well” chuckled Liam suddenly.</p><p>“That Zayn is gayer than a unicorn?”.</p><p>“No, that I should get my man” corrected Liam him.</p><p>“He's right. By the way, where is he?” looked Niall around in search of his friend.</p><p>“No idea. He was going home to change, but that was a while ago. He should have been here long ago” frowned Liam confused.</p><p>“Louis is nowhere to be seen either” remarked Niall observantly.</p><p>“Didn't he want to come with Luke?” asked Liam puzzled.</p><p>“Yes, why?”.</p><p>“Because Luke is over there, but alone” pointed Liam to the tables against the wall.</p><p>“Funny. I'll ask him” decided Niall determined.</p><p>“Hi boys. Wanna dance, Liam?” was Lauren shaking her hips at them.</p><p>“No thanks. I'm here with my friends” refused Liam directly.</p><p>“A dance doesn't hurt” she ignored the refusal and pulled him onto the dance floor. Niall watched in disbelief. Liam had to learn to say no clearly.</p><p>“Ey Lukey, where did you leave your date?” asked Niall randomly as he walked over to him and stopped next to him.</p><p>“What date?” Luke didn't understand.</p><p>“My man Louis, of course” grinned Niall mischievously.</p><p>“Oh, we didn't have a date. We would have come as friends. There's nothing between us” clarified Luke.</p><p>“Whatever, where is he?” Niall didn't believe him.</p><p>“At home. He cancelled. Probably had an emergency” shrugged Luke.</p><p>“Oh okay. I better text him” pulled Niall out his phone.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>From Nialler to Tommo:</b>
</p><p>“<em>Louis, what kind of emergency is Luke talking about? What happened? Are you okay? Do you know where Harry is?”.</em></p><p> </p><p>When he pocketed his phone again Niall had to roughly scratch his arm. It was itching and kinda burning. He couldn't see anything on it but he had a feeling he knew what this was all about. Niall touched his face and it was burning instantly, too. He was looking directly for Zayn. When he found him, he saw that he had noticed it as well.</p><p>But before Niall could signal Zayn to come over to him, Darcy leaned closer to Zayn and wanted to kiss him. Niall watched the action in horror and wanted to exclaim in pure relief when Zayn backed away and rejected her coldly. That girl really didn’t get an obvious hint. Instead of cheering proudly, Niall punched his fists in the air in celebration. But this movement was careless and rash. Before he knew it, he had kicked over Luke’s drink and had spilt it all over his own arm.</p><p>His first reaction was to panic but then he remembered Liam’s weird burning and itchy lotion, so he relaxed. But that was a mistake. That stupid familiar tingling was all he could feel and his eyes grew big, searching for Zayn in the crowd again. Their eyes locked and he realized Zayn had seen everything.</p><p>“Sorry, Luke. That wasn’t on purpose. I um … I gotta go” stammered Niall embarrassed.</p><p>Immediately, Niall ran towards the exit and Zayn directly followed him without a question. He passed Liam and Lauren on the way and just rolled his eyes. There was no time for any comments. Niall had to get out of view right now.</p><p>Liam pulled away from Lauren, but she stopped him immediately. “Where are you going?”.</p><p>“Zayn and Niall need me” he answered curtly.</p><p>“They can handle it on their own. It's a party, you can't just go” she said uninterested.</p><p>“These are my friends. They are more important than this stupid party” he spat angrily.</p><p>“Friends who don't begrudge you anything?” she tried to make him stay.</p><p>“I've had enough of your games” broke Liam free and ran after them.</p><p>He ran to the pier and watched over the sea. He knew exactly where the two would be by now. He wanted to run the way down to where his boat was lying at the docks but someone appeared behind him. Hope.</p><p>“Something went wrong, didn’t it?” she looked at him knowingly.</p><p>“Why do you guys always know everything? You know what, don't answer. I don't want to know. I need to go” Liam wanted to pass her.</p><p>“Simplicity is the key” she hinted.</p><p>“What's that supposed to mean now?” turned Liam around to her.</p><p>“Try not to force it. Just step back and take a look at the whole thing” she advised him.</p><p>“At the whole thing? What's that supposed to mean? I can't just ..”.</p><p>“You can. You're stronger than you know” she interrupted him.</p><p>“I'm not strong enough to help my friends” claimed Liam disappointedly.</p><p>“You are. Yes, you're friends are special but you're special too, Liam. Believe me, things are gonna change for you. They already did” she came closer to him.</p><p>“What do you mean now?” was Liam at a loss.</p><p>“Your feelings. They're more present for a while now, right? There's a reason for it” revealed Hope to Liam.</p><p>“That's all?” asked Liam and had no idea what she actually meant.</p><p>“That's all,” said Hope simply. Liam looked over at the island over which the moon was rising.</p><p>“You will understand in time. And now go. He'll be waiting for sure. Get your man” she shooed him to the boat.</p><p>And that's exactly what Liam did. He ran down the street, jumped into the boat and drove as fast as he could to the island.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>---&gt;</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Niall and Zayn watched the water lying in front of them. They had spent a while on some rocks on the water island. Being here had actually stopped the itchy feeling somehow and Niall had calmed down.</p><p>“I'm wondering how the party is going by now” looked Niall at his face on the water surface.</p><p>“Assumingly amazing without us being the usual freaks. If we show up again, our dates have probably replaced us” sighed Zayn.</p><p>“Would that be so bad? I mean, you never wanted to go with her anyway” listened Niall. Zayn knew exactly what he was referring to.</p><p>“Maybe I had hoped for a different evening” admitted Zayn meekly.</p><p>“You'd be surprised” murmured Niall softly.</p><p>“What? Why?” Zayn didn't understand.</p><p>At that moment they heard footsteps coming from behind them which approached them. Both stood up and the next moment Liam appeared.</p><p>“Oh God, here you are” gasped Liam relieved. “I am so sorry. I didn't want that to happen. You have to believe me”.</p><p>“What was in there, please?” asked Niall bewildered.</p><p>“I don't know. I just wanted to help, but not everything can be fathomed, I guess. The lotion should probably only be used for its actual purpose” stammered Liam paralysed.</p><p>“It’s okay. You tried your best. It was my fault I was so careless” assured Niall him.</p><p>“How did that even happen?” Liam wanted to know.</p><p>“I was overjoyed and didn’t pay attention to my surroundings. Luke must think I’m crazy” laughed Niall amused.</p><p>“He already knew that” chuckled Liam lightly.</p><p>“Guess you’re right. Well, I should head back. Maya is still my Date and I shouldn’t leave her waiting for too long. Now I can still come up with an excuse for my lady” grinned Niall cheekily.</p><p>“That you can. She is ... “ started Liam, but Niall already started running towards the beach. Now Zayn and Liam were all alone.</p><p>“Darcy actually started snogging that dude” coughed Liam awkwardly for no reason at all.</p><p>“I don't care. At least she backed off. I just didn't want to go alone” confessed Zayn, not knowing where it came from, but this place made him.</p><p>“Would you rather have gone with me?” asked Liam hopefully.</p><p>“Yeah, but you didn't seem to care about it” answered Zayn honestly. Liam stood there nervously.</p><p>“To be honest, I thought we would go together without having to ask” scratched Liam his neck.</p><p>“You serious?” checked Zayn surprised. Liam only nodded timidly.</p><p>“Why didn't you say anything. I would have loved to go with you. I really wanted to go with you. You're the only one I really want” revealed Zayn his feelings to Liam out of nowhere. His heart was pounding wildly in his chest. This was it.</p><p>“Really?” shot Liam's head up. Zayn nodded tentatively. “Wow, Zayn. I don't know what to say r …”</p><p>“You don't need to say anything. I know you don't feel that way, but I just wanted you to know” he cut him off.</p><p>With a heavy sigh, Liam grabbed Zayn's hand and sat down with him on the rocks in the moonlight. “I'm not good at this and I've realised it way too late, but I like you too, Zayn”.</p><p>Zayn didn't trust his ears. Did Liam say he liked him too? Like in more than friends? That couldn't be true. This had to be a dream.</p><p>“But I can't handle that. I don't know what to do. If I have no logical explanation I'm hopelessly lost. I pushed you away after the kiss, though it should have been clear to me there. I don't deserve your understanding. You deserve something better. Someone who can handle feelings” was Liam very desperate.</p><p>“Maybe, but I just want you. I tried, but I can't help it” moved Zayn a little closer to him.</p><p>“And what do we do now?” asked Liam uncertainly.</p><p>“What does your heart say? Does it wanna give us a chance?” hooked Zayn and put a hand against Liam's chest, his heart beating fast.</p><p>“I think so. It feels like it” decided Liam and looked Zayn deep in the eyes.</p><p>Zayn loved those eyes so much. And now they looked at him with the same love Zayn looked at him with. It was like a dream. There was really Liam in front of him and said he would try. Zayn's heart nearly exploded in his chest.</p><p>“That's good enough for me” smiled Zayn at him.</p><p>He approached Liam's face even further and then did what he would never have thought of himself. He kissed Liam. His lips felt so soft against his own. Now his heart really exploded in his chest. It was just a quick kiss, but it was perfect. The rocks. The moon. Liam.</p><p>“I guess, I could get used to this” stammered Liam as they broke away from each other.</p><p>“I'm sure you can” grinned Zayn and kissed him again. This time, Liam returned the kiss. Hesitant but not timid. Their lips melted together and Zayn had never felt better. No tongue was involved yet. Only sweet cautious gentle kisses. Soft and slow.</p><p>It was magical.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0029"><h2>29. 25.3 And The Rock Bottom</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>The biggest trigger warning ever. Huge trigger warning!!!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>How much he had been drinking, Louis didn't know anymore. He sat at the bar of some gay bar and downed one drink at a time. The alcohol was burning his throat, but he still didn't stop. On the contrary, he just drank more. The burning distracted him from his pain. His crush was just too much for Louis. He felt so terribly guilty. The argument was bothering him. He was so incredibly angry and stunned. Harry really thought cheating would be harmless and no reason not to trust someone. Besides, he had told Louis it was even his own fault just because he didn't want to fuck immediately. Cheating was okay if you didn't give in and therefore was your own fault?</p><p>That even made sense in Louis' clouded head. He always had the feeling that what had happened was his fault. He should have just given in because that's the way the world works. Harry had made that very clear again today.</p><p>Harry. Louis' feelings for him were clearly stronger than he had realized. When Harry arrived today and was so shocked about his father, Louis would have done everything to make him feel better. Really everything. And when he shouted at him, forced him to talk to him and told him he was over dramatically paranoid, Louis felt as small as he hadn't ever before. Harry was right. Louis was an absolute sissy. He couldn't even go with Luke to the party and started to cry when he was despaired. And then he just ran away.</p><p>Louis hated himself. He hated himself for being so weak, so emotionally unstable. Hated himself for wanting Harry. For that he couldn't only see him as a friend, instead, his feelings became stronger with each passing day and it was hopeless for him. And he hated that he couldn't tell Harry. He wanted but it didn't work. Not today, not before. Not at all. Every time he wanted to, and that was very often, he saw again how Harry had exposed him the day he wanted to tell him for the first time. The fear that this would happen again was still constantly there and unconsciously gnawed at him. He understood Harry's anger. He hated himself for it. How could Harry not hate him now? Through his stupid paranoia, the person he probably would love one day hated him deeply.</p><p>The knowledge and his guilt he drowned in even more alcohol. His vision was blurry and he was already dizzy when sitting. Maybe this last day of schooling in clubs and bars wasn't great. Who sold alcohol to minors? Well, the people on the last day of school before the holidays apparently.</p><p>What was happening around him, Louis barely noticed anymore. His brain didn't work probably any longer. He staggered to his feet and reeled across the room. Control loss and balance disorders were his two new best friends now.</p><p>His cell phone beeped and indicated that his battery was nearly empty. He saw an unread message from Niall. He could barely see what was written there, his vision was so blurry. But the words emergency, Luke and Harry could Louis recognize. Again his guilty conscience began to eat him up. Clumsily and uncontrollably, he typed on the screen but no sentences came out.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>From Tommo to Nialler:</b>
</p><p>“<em>Hfjg ditched niell Haizzy hioemge ssex”.</em></p><p> </p><p>Then he scrolled down and punched Zayn's name on the screen. He felt so free and carefree and light. So very different. So absolutely pissed-off drunk.</p><p>“Joey Boy, I miss you. John's bar is so empty without you. Uhh, hello stranger. Nice hands” slurred Louis against his phone. Then his battery gave up and the phone went out.</p><p>He had no idea if the message was sent because his concentration was disturbed by the stranger rubbing against him from behind. Strong hands were lying on his waist and pulling him closer to the strange guy. Louis began to move his hips, causing friction. The guy groaned and pinched Louis' ass.</p><p>“Sexy ass, baby boy” he blew seductively against his ear.</p><p>Louis shuddered and stifled the oppressive feeling in his stomach as he touched his ass or mentioned it. The coward Louis had to disappear. He grinded his ass against the cock of the guy in the rhythm of the music. Both were panting heavily. Greedy, he attacked Louis' neck and sucked and pulled on it. He let his tongue wander over it. Louis closed his eyes and moaned softly, suppressing every upcoming memory of <em>him</em>. He was half-hard and the guy, too. Louis could feel that on his ass.</p><p>“It's getting hot in here. Let's go outside” he breathed against his neck.</p><p>If he had been in his right mind, Louis would never have done that. But the alcohol clouded his senses and his reason, so he simply nodded and followed him to the back door.</p><p>As soon as he got out of the door he was already pressed against the wall and the next moment he had the guy's tongue deep down his throat. Louis just did the same thing because he didn't know what else to do. They grinded their hips against each other and breathed heavily in each other’s mouths. They were snogging and dry humping for a while. By now both were rock hard. Painfully hard.</p><p>Louis was still not used to that feeling at all. The alcohol affected his brain and he didn't know what he was doing when he started to unbuckle the guy's pants. He pulled the pants down to his ankles and ripped off the guy's boxers. His dick was huge but nothing compared to Harry. He heavily shook his head. He really had to stop thinking like that when he was drunk and so close to sucking off an unknown guy.</p><p>Louis took the cock in his hand and started palming and stroking it, causing the unnamed guy to moan loudly. He grabbed Louis' hair and tucked on it. Then Louis licked over the tip, feeling the guy shiver under his touch. At least there was one thing he was good at. Without a warning, he took him completely into his mouth and started bobbing his head up and down. The moans and the panting became louder and faster. Louis picked up his pace and went faster and faster. He didn't look up at the guy once.</p><p>“Oh, Fuck” screamed the guy as he came hard and unexpected down Louis' throat. He gagged slightly and swallowed it all.</p><p>Before he could process what was happening the guy already pulled down Louis' pants and boxers and started palming his throbbing cock. He turned Louis around harshly so that he was now pressed with his back against this guy’s chest. The palming got faster and sloppier. Slowly, the alcohol subsided and he came back to his senses. With muffled moans, Louis came fast into the guy's hand, panting heavily.</p><p>The half-moon came out behind the clouds and fell directly on Louis' face. It was like it washed the effects of the alcohol away and made Louis think clearly again. He opened his eyes and realised what had just happened. Automatically, he felt so terrible and dirty. But this was exactly what everyone thought about him anyway. Now he just became like that for real.</p><p>“Enough with the teasing. Let me fuck you hard against the wall now” the guy growled impatiently against Louis' neck.</p><p>Louis was frozen in shock when he was pressed against the wall. His still sensitive cock was burning from the feeling of the cold bar wall against it. The guy's hands grabbed his ass and pulled his cheeks apart.</p><p>“No. I don't want to” cried Louis silently.</p><p>“Seemed different to me when you sucked me off so willingly, little bitch” the guy hissed back, grabbing Louis' waist with one hand to make him stand still.</p><p>Louis started silently crying. It was happening again. This just proved what he was thinking all the time. He deserved this. Back then and right now. He was utterly worthless and a dirty slut. Nothing more. He accepted his fate here in this dark alley behind a club. He felt the guy's dry cock ready on his entrance and just prayed it would be over soon.</p><p>“Lay your hands off of him now or you'll regret it” he heard someone threatening the guy, causing him to take a step back.</p><p>“That's none of your business. We're just having a little fun, right bitch? Take another corner” the guy told the stranger with the familiar voice.</p><p>“This is definitely my business. Now let him go” he grew angrier. Louis recognized that voice. He couldn't believe it. It was Harry.</p><p>“Don't tell me this little bitch is your boyfriend? Sorry to tell you that but he just cheated on you a minute ago and he was liking it when he sucked my dick” spat the guy at Harry.</p><p>“Doesn't look like it for me. Get your hands off him now” glared Harry evilly at him.</p><p>“Aye, calm down. You can have him back after I'm finished here” he slapped Louis on the ass, causing him to flinch.</p><p>“Now or you're dead” demanded Harry very angry.</p><p>“He's a whore. Nothing more” said the guy unimpressed.</p><p>Louis felt himself get pressed against the wall again. His head and cock hitting the wall pretty hard. Suddenly, the guy shoved his big dry cock deep into Louis. This was horribly painful and Louis screamed at the top of his lungs out of pure pain he felt in his ass. Before the guy could thrust into him again he got pulled away from Louis. He heard the slapping of skin and assumed that Harry must have beaten the guy. But Louis didn't care.</p><p>Trembling and wincing, he pulled his pants back on and sank to the ground. He sat cowering against the wall with his legs pulled to his chest. The pain in his bum was unbearable. Louis felt infinitely dirty and worthless. Everyone treated him like a toy. Probably, he was no more than that. Three times meant he deserved it exactly like that.</p><p>“Keep your little cunt” swore the guy and disappeared back into the bar.</p><p>Harry ran over to Louis now and knelt down to him. “Lou! Oh my god, Lou. How are you? Can I do something?”.</p><p>But Louis didn't say a word. He just stared into the void. Tears on his face. He was in shock. Unable to do anything. Harry took his hands and pulled Louis to his feet. This movement made him wince. The pain shot through his bum. Harry grabbed him by the legs and back and picked Louis up. He automatically rested his head on Harry's shoulder and carefully, Harry carried him home.</p><p>When he arrived at Louis' house, Harry carried him up to his room and set him down on his bed. Harry handed him a glass of water but Louis shook his head. Slowly, he awoke from the shock and everything that happened pattered down on him.</p><p>“How did you know …?” croaked Louis out.</p><p>“Zayn,” said Harry, sitting down next to him. Louis looked at him questioningly. “He got your message and immediately panicked. Liam was luckily with him. He told me and I went to look for you right away. I was going to talk to you anyway and apologize. Thank goodness he called me. How did this happen, Louis?”.</p><p>“I'm not sure. I felt so shitty and was so angry with myself that I wanted to numb the pain and the simplest solution was alcohol, but even that way I didn't get rid of the guilt. So, I kept drinking more and more until I couldn't think clearly anymore” reflected Louis his actions.</p><p>“What kind of guilt?” Harry didn't understand.</p><p>“I hate myself for you hating me. And you have every reason for it. I'm pathetic” sniffed Louis.</p><p>“Louis, I don't hate you. I couldn't do that. You didn't do anything wrong. I was the idiot. And to top it off, I'm also to blame for all this crap” replied Harry guiltily.</p><p>“That wasn't your fault” muttered Louis.</p><p>“It was. Without me, you would never have gone there. How did that happen? Who was that?” Harry wanted to know.</p><p>“I dunno. I just sent this message to Zayn when that guy came from behind and danced with me. Just like normal people while partying” recalled Louis vaguely.</p><p>“He said you sucked him off and he had his hand on your cock, which I wouldn't call normal partying,” remarked Harry horrified.</p><p>“I wasn't sane, pissed-off drunk. Did you have to mention again that I had a cock in my mouth? Shit, I would never have done it if I'd have been in my right mind. It just had to happen again” moaned Louis brokenly, hiding his face in his hands.</p><p>“He wanted to fuck you against your will. That's rape. I could ... Wait, what do you mean by again?” Harry suddenly realized Louis' choice of words.</p><p>Louis looked nervously at Harry's face, clearly recognizing concern, then back to his knees. He pulled them further into his chest and clasped them in his arms. Harry had seen this guy ram his cock into him. It didn't matter anyway. It couldn't get any worse.</p><p>“You know, I've moved a lot, right? I've lived in America, in Malibu to be precise. The worst thing was to be new. Everybody was mean and terrible. All but one” started Louis telling his story.</p><p>“Kyle” exhaled Harry. Shock and realization were written on his face. As well as the surprise that Louis actually told his story and didn't block it.</p><p>“Yes. He was nice to me, talked to me normally and showed interest in me. I had a huge crush on him. One day he visited me and told me he was gay and it had to stay a secret between us because nobody but me knew about it. He also claimed he had strong feelings for me and naïve as I was I believed him every word. One day he just kissed me. A soft kiss. My first kiss and then the last one ... From that moment on, he was constantly attacking my neck and sucking on it, but something was utterly wrong because I didn't like it. No reaction. Nothing. He was getting more compulsive and demanding with each passing day. He always touched me, especially my bum. He always tried to touch me through the clothes, but I didn't want all that. He was so rude and intrusive, but that didn't matter to him. After just two weeks his patience was over. I was only 15 by then. Nevertheless, I didn't give in, but that made things worse. Maybe I should have given in” tried Louis to tell as emotionlessly as possible. All the memories came back and ate him up. He felt every single touch.</p><p>“Don't say that. You shouldn't have done that” said Harry quietly.</p><p>“But I should have. You were right. It was my fault. On that one day, he came to my house. I was alone. He was demanding and pushy and before I knew it he was hovering over me. Against my protest, he took off half of my clothes and of himself. I've tried to fight back and wriggled and rolled underneath him but he just firmly pinned my arms to the bed. Then suddenly he took me in his mouth. From then on, I was frozen. I couldn't move, couldn't breathe. I was in shock. He was visibly frustrated when he got no reaction. But the only reaction from me was fear. Instead of quitting, he just pushed me down and started to touch himself until he was ready. Forcibly, he got me in position and hit me on the bum. Over and over again. If my one classmate hadn't shown up by accident he would have pulled it off. He would have raped me. I felt so dirty and insignificant. So ashamed of myself”.</p><p>“Since then, the topic has always been difficult for me. Not only to talk about it but also in general. Only Zayn knows that, but since this incident, my body has kinda completely shut down. No reaction. No needs. Nothing. I even thought I'd become asexual. But it was more of a trauma. Um … back in school, hell broke out over me. He had begun to spread lies and horrible rumours and present himself as the victim. Told people I tried to fuck him against his will and everyone believed him, but that sadly wasn't the worst part. Later it came out that everything was a lie. He wasn't gay. More the opposite. He and his friends have had a game going on forever, whoever gets the new ones the fastest. He was the only one who put his disgust aside to get me in bed. Mockery was normal from that day on. And the hunt for me was opened. This was the beating my mum talked about. Since that time I have my trust issues and all that stuff”.</p><p>“The ridicule was too much for me and I broke down. I started to cut myself to feel something again and live with the shame. Then we moved back to England. I lost myself there. I cut myself off completely. Everything that made me simply me. Then I met Christian. I told you about him. I didn't let anyone get in touch with me, but he didn't even try. During detention, it then came down to an emotional revelatory discussion. At that time I promised him to quit. Of course, I didn't think it was a serious promise. I mean, we weren't friends. But then he killed himself. That was when I decided to be strong and become myself again. The move to Australia was like a fresh start. But it went differently than expected. You have unconsciously woken up the memory of him again, but through Zayn, a lot of things have returned to normal. It has gotten better. Until he was at the door” ended Louis his story, tears falling down on his knees.</p><p>“And he tried again and wanted to finish it. He even asked me to join him. He wanted me to rape you with him and I didn't get it. No, I snapped at you and was frustrated because you didn't talk to me. I'm such an ass. I'm sorry, Louis. For everything. I only made it worse. I understand why you couldn't tell me for so long. I co ... Shit, I harassed you here on this bed. Made fun of your fear of contact, exploited it to torment you. I reproached your ex would have been with you just out of pity for you and urged you to tell me just because I felt left out without taking you into consideration. Without worrying about why you can't tell me. You just couldn't trust me completely even though you wanted to and that's just all on me. I'm a dreadful terrible person just like my father. Forgive me, Louis. I was way too blind to see it” tears were streaming down Harry's face.</p><p>This sight was cruel to Louis. Harry had never cried before and now he had made him cry. He leaned forward and wiped his tears away. “Don't blame yourself. My complexes are my burden, not yours”</p><p>“But it's my fault. I hurt you and I was too stupid to see Kyle's true intentions. And then this today ... again my fault because I urged you to talk to me. The guy would never have touched you if I hadn't been so stupid. How are you doing now?” was Harry angry with himself.</p><p>“It hurts, but I deserve it. It will happen again until someone isn't stopped and brings it to an end. I am nothing but a useless bitch. People just use me for their fun and their lust and then throw me away worn out. You were right. I'm really just a little worthless piece of shit. Maybe I should just offer me and let it happen. Swallow my tears and let me get fucked until I bleed and then rot in the gutter. Then fate doesn't have to keep trying” sobbed Louis quietly, totally broken.</p><p>Harry looked at him shocked and perplexed. “Never say that again. You don't deserve that. You are not worthless; do you hear me? Louis, you are very special. You are great, cheeky, funny, beautiful and the most kind-hearted person in the world. Everyone sees this immediately. They just want to ruin, destroy and break you but you can't let that happen. You are too precious for that. You have friends here who are always there for you. Go to war for you. You always see only the best in people and are the bright sunshine of our lives. You only deserve the best. Don't give in to these people. You are stronger than that. You are strong. Your friends make you strong. Maybe even me. You make me strong, Louis. You make me a better person. Since you've been in my life you've improved it and you're doing nothing. You are just there. You changed me, Louis. I want to be better. For you. Never think again you're not worth it, do you hear me?” counted Harry all the great things about Louis he could think of right now.</p><p>Hearing Harry say all these things warmed Louis' broken heart and he believed him every word. Louis just nodded and Harry spread his arms wide open. Still crying, he fell into Harry's arms and Harry pulled him close to his chest. Harry's presence was doing Louis well now. He felt safe. He felt at home</p><p>“Does it still hurt a lot?” asked Harry worriedly.</p><p>“It got better. Hurts more emotionally. But you're here, it's helping” answered Louis honestly and very tired.</p><p>Harry smiled against Louis' hair and stroked lightly over his arm, stopping at his wrist and drew small circles over it. Louis looked down. Then from his old scars, he looked up into Harry's sad eyes. His other hand put Louis on Harry's. They just looked each other in the eye for a while. Louis kept closing his eyes because he was so tired.</p><p>“You should sleep,” said Harry, letting go of Louis.</p><p>Carefully, Louis lay down in his bed without putting pressure on his bum. Harry covered him with his blanket and unexpectedly kissed his forehead. Louis felt like a baby, but he was too tired to complain.</p><p>As Harry walked to the door, Louis straightened up in confusion. “Where are you going?”.</p><p>“Home. You need to rest” took Harry his bag.</p><p>Louis didn't want Harry to leave. On the one hand, he knew how reluctant Harry wanted to go home. And on the other, Louis felt protected and secure with Harry and he needed that today. Harry became his home if he wanted it or not.</p><p>“Stay,” he asked softly. It was almost a plea.</p><p>Surprised but happy, Harry nodded, put down his bag and lay down next to Louis. Both fully dressed. Deadly tired and already half asleep, Louis snuggled up to Harry. He still noticed how Harry inhaled sharply but then relaxed and pulled Louis into his arms. Harry's hand was around his waist while Louis lay against his chest. Grateful for Harry by his side and all his kind words, Louis fell peacefully in a nightmare-less sleep.</p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0030"><h2>30. 26. Moving On</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>Waking up next to Harry in the morning was one of the most beautiful feelings in the world. Mostly, the other three were in the room when that happened, but today the two were all alone. Louis just watched Harry sleep. How he breathed evenly. How cute his nose looked when he wrinkled it in his sleep. Louis was hopelessly lost.</p><p>Harry had his hair open and it was light on his face. The longer hair was something Louis loved abysmally. It caressed his face with the fine features that Louis clearly stared at too long. Gently, he stroked a few strands of hair from Harry's face. The hair was so fluffy and smooth that Louis wanted to just never take his hands out again. But that was pathological, so he took his hand back slightly and just looked at Harry. He looked so peaceful.</p><p>If you saw him lying there you could easily forget what happened yesterday. Yesterday was a single emotional rollercoaster ride. Now Harry knew everything and he had seen Louis at his personal low. He had fought for him, expelled this guy and thus prevented the worst. Yes, he had done one thrust and Louis still felt it and it would probably haunt him all his life, but Harry was there at that moment. Although they had argued before, Harry had come to look for him when he found out that Louis was in trouble and he wanted to apologize for the before. For his thoughtless words. He had said such wonderful things that Louis wouldn't have believed if it hadn't been Harry. Louis was immensely grateful for his presence this night.</p><p>Slightly, Harry moved next to him and his face changed. Louis knew that Harry was about to wake up. He quickly closed his eyes and pretended to be asleep. Why, he didn't know himself, but maybe it was better that way. Otherwise, Harry would realize he was watching him sleep. That would scare him off.</p><p>Louis heard Harry shift slightly and then lie quietly. He felt his eyes on him, but he didn't feel uncomfortable. He heard Harry sigh softly and then felt a hand on his cheek. He slowly stroked down over it and then pulled his hand back. This touch gave Goosebumps to Louis and he couldn't stop the small smile that escaped him. Carefully, he opened his eyes as if he had just woken up. The first sight that was presented to him was Harry's bright green eyes in the morning sun. Louis could get used to that, but he wasn't allowed to.</p><p>“Morning” breathed Harry out in his low morning voice. Aye, that voice will still be Louis' downfall.</p><p>“Morning” he smiled. Louis couldn't take his eyes off Harry's eyes and Harry looked at him with a smile. Nervous, Louis bit his lower lip, again and again, to prevent him from ruining everything.</p><p>“Slept well? How are you?” asked Harry softly.</p><p>“I'm good” replied Louis quietly.</p><p>“Don't you have to have a monstrous headache?” grinned Harry.</p><p>“Actually yes, but I think the moon took care of it” answered Louis casually.</p><p>“In what way?” frowned Harry.</p><p>“When we were out there shortly before ... well ... the moon came out. Although, I've noticed before how the alcohol waned a bit. But when the moonlight fell on me, I was sober in less than a second. Apparently, he really helps us” explained Louis, trying to suppress the memory of everything before and after.</p><p>“That's pretty handy” tried Harry to joke, but his concern was obvious.</p><p>“Is everything all right?” asked Harry nervously. Louis saw Harry's gaze fall further down and he immediately knew what he meant.</p><p>“It's okay, don't worry” lay Louis his hand unreasonably on Harry's cheek.</p><p>But instead of flinching away as expected, Harry put his hand on Louis' and squeezed it. Then he took it in his hand and pulled it to his chest, still holding it close. He pressed a light kiss on his wrist and then looked at Louis. “How about breakfast?” he suggested.</p><p>This perfectly normal question made Louis smile. “Gladly, but first we should put on other clothes”.</p><p>“Are you saying that I stink?” was Harry fakely offended.</p><p>“That's what I just did” laughed Louis, leaning on his elbows.</p><p>At that moment a cell phone rang. Louis realized it was not his ringtone so it must be Harry's. “Yes? Oh hi, Zayn” answered Harry the call. With his face drawn, Harry held his hand away from his phone and Louis could hear clearly how Zayn was worried.</p><p>“Easy Zayn, he's with me. He's fine” reassured Harry him. “Um, well, I don't know if it's so good to discuss this over the phone”.</p><p>Louis nudged him slightly and nodded to him. Louis knew that they couldn't lie to Zayn to reassure him. He knew it all anyway.</p><p>“Okay, well ... it happened again, but I took care of that. Zayn, breathe” got Harry down to business. Louis got nervous. Zayn wasn't allowed to get upset now, otherwise, he would get a panic attack and no one was there to help him.</p><p>“Such an ass in a club, but like I said, I did it. The moon helped too. He's fine” tried Harry visibly to reassure Zayn.</p><p>“Yes, I'll do it. I'll take care. See you later” said Harry finally and hung up.</p><p>“Let me guess, he is very worried and wanted to come here immediately?” guessed Louis the topic of conversation.</p><p>“Is that really so incomprehensible? After all, he called me after receiving this message. He sure kept asking himself what had happened” replied Harry seriously.</p><p>“I know. I would have done that, too” sighed Louis out.</p><p>“Here. Zayn said he's flying straight to Sydney tonight after the gig. Probably an emotional evening” threw Harry him sweatpants and a shirt over while he crunched his things.</p><p>“I'm really going to miss him,” said Louis as he quickly changed his pants. So fast that Harry couldn't watch him. He tried to ignore the pain in his bottom.</p><p>“He's not gone forever and you still have Liam and Niall and me” noted Harry as he changed.</p><p>“You're also going away, did you forget this already? You all leave me alone” pretended Louis to cry.</p><p>“But I'm not long gone” remarked Harry.</p><p>“You don't know that. Maybe you'll stay forever, marry a model and get three kids while we're sitting here bored” joked Louis and changed his shirt.</p><p>“Just come with me” blurted Harry out.</p><p>“What?” turned Louis to him in confusion.</p><p>“Come with me. It's your merit that I found out. And if I really get married there, you have to be there anyway. And I need your name ideas for three kids” replied Harry with a grin.</p><p>“I can't just leave. And your wife will help you with the names” declined Louis. Harry couldn't mean that. He can't be serious.</p><p>“Or husband” corrected Harry him.</p><p>“Wait, what?” was Louis completely shocked now.</p><p>“Could be a man, too. You said yourself, you might not know that until it happens” reminded Harry him of his own words.</p><p>“Okay, you really need breakfast. Our womanizer, because of sheer hunger, already forgets that he likes women” opened Louis his door.</p><p>“I'm not a womanizer” pouted Harry as he came after him.</p><p>“If you say so” shook Louis his head amused.</p><p>He limped slightly and winced while walking when he left his room. The events have left their mark and pain. Harry seemed to notice that because suddenly Louis was lifted without touching his bum and was carried down the stairs. Normally, Louis would have protested. He didn't like being manhandled, but today it was okay because every step hurt like shit. Arriving in the kitchen, Harry put him down and Louis saw his mother's face.</p><p>“Good morning, you two. Breakfast is almost ready. The girls should also be downstairs in a minute” she greeted the two.</p><p>Louis was surprised that she didn't say anything because Harry was there. No talk, no questions. As if it was the most normal thing in the world. Well, Harry has been here all the time in the last few months, even in the morning, but Louis still didn't understand why it was already part of her morning routine to schedule Harry.</p><p>“Can I help you?” asked Louis his mother and hugged her from behind.</p><p>“No, all good. Thank you, Sweetheart” she kissed him on the forehead. “Actually, you could take the drinks to the table”.</p><p>“No problem, Jaz” smiled Harry.</p><p>“Thank you, Sweetheart” she thanked him casually and kissed him on the forehead as well. Harry looked almost as surprised as Louis. It was too early for questions.</p><p>Just as they put the drinks on the table, his sisters came downstairs over to the table. “Yay food” was Emily happy.</p><p>“Morning Louis, Harry” greeted Sophia the two boys casually. Again, Louis wondered why that was so normal for everyone.</p><p>“LOUIS” called Stella and Luna as they ran over to hug him.</p><p>“Morning, my little angels” he kissed them both before letting them go again.</p><p>When he wanted to sit down, he looked anxiously at the chair. They were so hard and cold. He wondered how he should sit on it without his mother noticing anything. He couldn't tell her, otherwise, she would go crazy.</p><p>Lost in thought, he hardly felt how two hands grabbed him by the waist and pulled him towards them. Surprised, he winced slightly, but relaxed when he realized that it was Harry. He let himself be led and found himself on Harry's lap. He sat so that it hardly hurt. Louis turned his head around to Harry, who only smiled up at him understandingly.</p><p>When Jasmine came to the table with the breakfast, she didn't question the position of the two but started eating as normally as on every Saturday. While they talked, Louis wondered if his mother knew he liked Harry, or if she just loved him.</p><p>Louis had to help Harry with the food because their position made eating difficult for him. That's why they always had to laugh. That wasn't easy at all. Louis felt like an elderly couple in a nursing home.</p><p>“Isn't there a game today?” asked Sophia as she looked at the clock.</p><p>“No, the holiday program starts today, but this time without me. Sam takes over it and I'll help him from time to time, but only in the last week” shook Louis his head.</p><p>“What are you doing on vacation, Harry?” Jasmine wanted to know interested.</p><p>“I'm going to visit my mother. I haven't seen her in forever and I have unanswered questions” summed Harry up briefly. Jasmine looked at him understandingly but didn't ask any further. Louis loved his mother for that. She knew when to ask and when not.</p><p>“It's just a pity that I have to go alone. It would never have been possible without Louis. She should get to know him because it's his merit. Well, maybe someday” added Harry casually.</p><p>“That's a great idea. Honey, you should go with him. Get out of here and get to know his mother. It seems to be your merit after all. Go ahead. Could be funny” suggested Jasmine excitedly. Louis knew that Harry had hoped for that reaction.</p><p>“But I can't just go, so suddenly. He wants to leave tomorrow” contradicted Louis.</p><p>“Then you have to pack up fast. We'll be okay alone, Sweetheart. If you want, you can go with Harry” she assured him.</p><p>All eyes were on him now. He swallowed hard and couldn't think clearly. “I think about it”.</p><p>“Emily, didn't you want to …” turned Jasmine now to her daughter.</p><p>“Say yes and meet your future mother-in-law” whispered Sophia amused.</p><p>Louis was very pale after that statement. He hoped that Harry hadn't heard that. What did his sister think the two were? Wasn't it clear that they were just friends and Harry straighter than the wall?</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>...</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Later, Harry and Louis were walking through the park. Who had come up with the idea they had forgotten. It was warm and the sun was shining through the treetops. Louis was still very sore, but with each step, it started to get better. Harry hadn't left his side for a second as if he was scared as soon as he looked away Louis would break or a guy would appear randomly and grope him. Well, Louis had to confess that he had this irrational fear too, so he was glad that Harry was there all the time. It could be worse company.</p><p>When they came to the small bridge both stopped abruptly. There she stood in the light of the sun. Harry and Louis looked at each other and without another word, they walked over to her. Both stood on one side of her, so she was in the middle.</p><p>“It's a beautiful day, isn't it? Perfect for forgetting rough nights. The sun is just so beautiful and brightens our lives” enthused Kida. She turned to Louis and smiled at him. Her eyes fell on the necklace and her eyes softened. Then she turned to Harry.</p><p>“It makes me happy to see our two necklaces united, to see that their new owners are so similar to us. It's nice to see that you've found your place. You remind me very much of myself” was Kida especially proud of Harry.</p><p>“In what way?” Harry wanted to know curiously.</p><p>“I didn't know where I belonged for a long time back then. I had a lot of fake friends and I was very popular in school; my parents were rich and I could've had everything I wanted. I pretty much imagined that, but I wasn't happy. That only came to my attention when I met Hope, Lina and Amelia. They changed my life, made it better without doing anything. Their friendship was my purpose in life. Before them, I was always flirting with all the boys, but I wanted just no relationship because I thought that was all crap. In our world, it isn't as different from here as you might think. I really thought love was bullshit. Yeah and then I saw Amelia. You often remind me of her, Louis“.</p><p>“Really? Why?” asked Louis interested.</p><p>“Amelia is a kind-hearted person. She is so open-minded and unprejudiced, cheerful, funny, but also had her dark times. Despite all the bad experiences, she was always there for us, no matter when. You couldn't have a better friend. She is an angel without wings” recalled Kida fondly.</p><p>“That sounds familiar” noted Harry fondly.</p><p>“You never told us how you met” cleared Louis his throat, suppressing that weird sense of hope in him.</p><p>“We met the day we were told we would be guardians for those earth girls that stranded on an island. I was not amused to look over stupid humans unlike the other three” she told them honestly.</p><p>“Did you know it already?” inquired Louis.</p><p>“That she would be the love of my life? Not really. At first, we didn't like each other. She was annoyed by my sassiness and I was disturbed by her too-positive attitude to life with all that real love and stuff like that. She was also annoyed that I was flirting with everything that was male. But at some point, we started to understand each other better. We got along pretty well but then I really screwed it up. The trust was gone. At first, I didn't care. But then I realized how much I missed them all. Especially her. Out of all of them, she could forgive me the slowest and I didn't understand why. In retrospect, I know now that she had feelings for me and I broke her heart, but I didn't know that at the time. After a while, she trusted me again. After a deep low, we were inseparable. We did everything together, but I was too stupid to realize that I loved her and she loved me. We were closer than normal friends and I stared at her or thought of her all the time like she was my world. Everything about her was perfect to me and I just wanted to protect her. Much too late I realized how much I love her and it was almost too late. There was someone else who wanted her, but I could win her over for me. That's when I found out that she had loved me the whole time, but thought it was hopeless because I'm strictly straight. Well, I'm not. I wish until today I would have noticed it earlier. We could have been together way sooner” reminisced Kida the old times with the most beautiful smile on her lips.</p><p>“That sounds like it was unique” commented Louis, trying to ignore the frightening resemblance to their own situation.</p><p>“Sometimes this one person is closer than you think” looked Kida down at the water.</p><p>Louis didn't dare to look over at Harry at those words. Harry was the one person for him but he knew it was one-sided. He didn’t need to get more proof for that. Suddenly, Kida had to giggle quietly.</p><p>“What's so funny?” Harry wanted to know.</p><p>“I just had to think of something” she grinned broadly.</p><p>“Of what?” became Harry curious.</p><p>“Once Amelia visited my dad with me. I hadn't seen him for ages and I was pretty nervous, but she was at my side all the time, making me laugh with the stupidest things. My dad loved her almost more than me. He always gave hints but I didn't understand a word. At this time I should have noticed that I was in love with her because I already was for sure, but I didn't realize it. I was so stupid. Later, when I told my father about Amelia, I was scared to death. It was a different time back then and a different world. He just laughed and said I finally understood it. I'll never forget that moment. Everyone around me knew it. It was clearly visible on my face, only I was oblivious. Sometimes you should take five minutes and think about everything, question your own actions and reactions and thoughts. Then that's not happening to you. I could have had her much sooner without so much drama” shared Kida her memory with Louis and Harry.</p><p>Louis couldn't shake the feeling away that she wanted to hint something to them, as she always did, but it didn't affect him because she hardly looked at him. Besides, Louis didn't run away from his feelings. He accepted them and now tried to live with it.</p><p>“Are your friends okay? Did Liam manage to overcome? How is Niall?” Kida wanted to know curiously.</p><p>“We haven't talked much with them today. We'll have to go to the soundcheck soon and then we'll learn more” let Harry her know.</p><p>“Did Liam manage to overcome what?” Louis didn't understand.</p><p>“He should tell you himself. Take good care of each other. Friendship is one of the most precious gifts in the world. Be honest with each other and be there in dark as well as bright times. And always remember that even the most joyous person has dark shadows in the basement, locked up” she offered as advice.</p><p>Immediately, Louis had to think of Niall. He was always happy and open-minded but he knew that Niall had had dark times. He said he would tell them at some point. Louis hoped that would be soon, so they could help him with whatever it was.</p><p>“One more thing before I let you go. The moon is doing nothing for no reason. I know that you have stronger powers. That has just happened so soon because you were ready for that and there's a hidden purpose. It was not a punishment. You are strong enough to deal with it, which means that the moon has no more negative influence on you but will only help you. And you can resist it soon and live normal during a full moon” she told them.</p><p>“You mean never moonstruck again? No crazy Niall or too honest Zayn’s?” inquired Louis lightly.</p><p>“That could happen again without a moon, Lou” chuckled Harry amused.</p><p>“Hey, shut up, Harold” laughed Louis carefreely.</p><p>“Never again moonstruck. But there is still so much to discover, but it all comes with the time” she assured them. “And now you should go. You are expected”.</p><p>“Oh right, thanks for everything, Kida. See you next time” said Louis goodbye. Surprisingly, Kida hugged Louis. This hug was incredibly reassuring. As if she would take away all the stress and every single doubt from him.</p><p>“Bye Louis, take good care of yourself. Don't give up, it'll be worth it” she whispered in his ear. Louis just nodded dumbfounded.</p><p>“Bye Kida, thank you,” said Harry as Kida hugged him.</p><p>“Bye Harry. Don't doubt yourself. And please, open your eyes faster than me. Overthink the bullshit again. Otherwise, it might be too late” she advised him as she let go of Harry.</p><p>Harry looked at her with an unreadable expression on his face. Louis would like to know what Harry was thinking and what in the freaking world Kida wanted to say with that. But Harry seemed to have understood more than he did because he nodded at her with a smile and then walked over to Louis.</p><p>“What was that?” asked Louis, still confused.</p><p>“Oh, nothing” waved Harry it off and threw an arm around Louis' shoulders.</p><p>Louis frowned at him but didn't ask. Together, they made their way to the Sea Snack Café for their last performance before the holidays.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>---&gt;</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Zayn's nerves got the better of him. He was totally nervous and still worried about Louis. Ever since he had received this strange message from him last night, he feared the worst. He couldn't get away because he was with Liam, so he told Harry who immediately had started searching alerted. But there was no message from him. No sign. Liam had calmed him down and said that surely meant everything was fine and somehow it worked.</p><p>But this morning his first instinct was to call Harry to find out what had happened. Harry's description had shocked Zayn deeply. Immediately, he wanted to run to Louis, take him and put him in a box and protect him from the world. He was so angry and sad at the moment that his whole body wanted to switch off. How could that happen again?</p><p>Backstage, he paced up and down, making Niall go crazy about it. “Zayn, stop. He doesn't get here any faster like this”</p><p>“Sitting makes me nervous,” said Zayn while walking in a circle.</p><p>“You're nervous one way or the other. Stop going in circles. I'll go crazy” snorted Niall, getting the saying wrong but nobody cared.</p><p>"You already are” noted Zayn tensely.</p><p>“I'm worried too, and I want to know how he's doing, but that's not how you're making it any better,” told Niall him fed up.</p><p>“He's right, relax. He'll show up any second” put Liam his hands on Zayn's shoulders. That relaxed him instantly.</p><p>“Wow, I can talk ludicrously here and you say one word and he's calm” pouted Niall, his arms crossed.</p><p>“That's the magic of a boyfriend” grinned Liam proudly.</p><p>To hear him say that kindled an indescribable feeling in Zayn. Completely realized what had happened yesterday evening between them, he hadn't yet. Sure, they had kissed, but Liam had told him that emotions overwhelm him and that they're taking it slow and their friendship remains the most important thing. That's why he didn't expect him to hear that word as if it was nothing.</p><p>“Wow. Great. Now I'm feeling lonely” huffed Niall.</p><p>He apparently knew everything. They didn't need to say anything. He had just known it. After all, yesterday he had been everywhere. Presumably, he had only made the right conclusions and realized that Liam had finally come to his senses. Or Zayn's permanent grin had betrayed him.</p><p>“What about Maya? You two looked cute together” mused Liam.</p><p>“We are friends” contradicted Niall surely.</p><p>“We are too” pointed Liam to him and Zayn. Okay, this behaviour now overwhelmed Zayn.</p><p>“Where are they?” overcame Zayn the concern again. Only when he saw Louis and had inspected that everything was really good, he could calmly enjoy the gig.</p><p>“Breathe in, Zayn. Deep in and out” rubbed Liam his hands up and down Zayn's shoulders.</p><p>At last, he heard footsteps approaching them and the next moment Harry and Louis appeared. Instead of waiting for them to speak, Zayn fell around Louis' neck and hugged him tightly. “Oh, God Louis, there you are! Are you alright? I've been so worried”.</p><p>“Easy Zayn. I'm fine, thanks to Harry” replied Louis the hug.</p><p>“Thankfully, you were there. Thank you, Harry” let Zayn go of Louis and now hugged Harry.</p><p>“No problem, Zayn. I left right after your call. What was so important that you were desperate enough to call me for help?” Harry wanted to know.</p><p>“Hey, that sounds like I hate you” let Zayn go of him.</p><p>“Not long ago that was the case,” said Harry amused.</p><p>“Whatever. Liam was with me. I couldn't just jump into the ocean and leave at that moment” he scratched his neck.</p><p>“Wait, you were with Liam when I sent you that?” followed Louis closely.</p><p>“Yeah ... um his lotion had side effects. Niall got wet because he is an idiot and he and I left and headed to the islands. Liam came after us to check on us” reported Zayn.</p><p>“Why did I know that would happen?” shook Harry his head amused.</p><p>“So, Niall was there too?”.</p><p>“No, he was back at the party because of Maya” shifted Zayn his food nervously.</p><p>“Liam and you were alone. On the island. At night. Would you like to tell me something?” began Louis to grin knowingly.</p><p>“Um, we ... ah, Liam and me ... we um, we kissed” stammered Zayn embarrassed and blushed.</p><p>“I fucking knew it!!! Zayn, that's great. I'm so happy for you” grinned Louis wider than ever.</p><p>Zayn had to stop himself from squeaking and jumping around with Louis like twelve-year-old girls in love. But that's exactly how he felt. And that's exactly what Louis looked like. And that's why they did just that. Zayn didn't repress his excessive pleasure and Louis hopped into his arms and wrapped his legs around Zayn's hips.</p><p>“We are such girls” laughed Zayn over the moon.</p><p>“Who cares? This is a reason to rejoice. He finally got it. It was about time” was Louis more and more pleased.</p><p>“Sometimes people are pretty blind” clapped Zayn Louis on the bum lightly while holding him up and looked over at Harry.</p><p>In this action, Harry grimaced and Zayn remembered what had happened. But that didn't seem to bother Louis. He has never had any contact fear with Zayn and that hasn't changed. Nevertheless, he wondered how bad it was when Harry looked so worried about something like that. Or was that not just worry?</p><p>“Oh yeah. Very blind and often you realize it when it's too late. Kida has just told us about her blindness to her feelings for Amelia. Fits that you said this now” grinned Louis as he stood on the floor again.</p><p>“This woman is really special,” said Zayn with a smile.</p><p>“Yeah, now I know what she meant with Liam and if he has done it. Apparently, he did” slapped Louis his forehead.</p><p>“Liam hinted he saw Hope before he came to us. Is it possible that they’re trying to help us with that?” suspected Zayn.</p><p>“Very possible. She said a lot today that indicates that, right Haz?” turned Louis around to Harry.</p><p>“Oh, very much” muttered Harry weirdly.</p><p>“Okay ... How did it happen? I want to know everything” dragged Louis out the okay and turned back around to Zayn.</p><p>“Don't worry. Liam and Niall disappeared shortly after your first hug, so you can talk freely” commented Harry as he saw Zayn looking around.</p><p>“Niall knew I needed that moment but he'll attack you soon, Tommy” warned Zayn him.</p><p>“Good to know. Tell me now” urged Louis him.</p><p>“Well, as I said we were on the island and after Niall left I actually told him that I like him ... somehow. No idea where that came from but it had to be said. To my surprise, he said he likes me too, but he stays Liam. Feelings overwhelm him, he's just a scientist. That's why we're slowing it down, step by step. And then we just sat on some rocks and I just kissed him” summed Zayn up everything that had happened.</p><p>“That sounds as cheesy as a series. So cute. I can picture it. I'm glad you're trying and don't run away from it” replied Louis happily.</p><p>“Me too. It could have been different. Liam could have handled the feelings differently. Who would have thought that would happen to me?” sighed Zayn still overwhelmed.</p><p>“We all” winked Louis at him.</p><p>“That's right. We all saw it all but he didn't. Sometimes you can be pretty stupid and don't see what's right in front of you” agreed Harry with a weird undertone in his voice.</p><p>“Now I feel rather stupid. Should I have done something differently?” frowned Zayn.</p><p>“No, you couldn't do anything. Liam just made a refusal in that regard, even said that he doesn't want more. What were you supposed to do if it all looks like it's impossible?” smiled Louis sympathetically.</p><p>“He's right. I didn't mean to say that. Liam just almost took too long. Could have been too late” clarified Harry what he meant.</p><p>“That would be impossible for me. I wouldn't have found someone better than him” beamed Zayn.</p><p>“That's not always the case. Sometimes distraction, other people or disappointment helps to forget feelings. Luckily, Liam survived all that” grinned Louis happily.</p><p>“I feel like I'm in a dream” smiled Zayn in love.</p><p>“It's nice to see you so happy” was Louis rejoiced for Zayn.</p><p>“True. You haven't blasted so much the whole time. Love really seems to be the best feeling in the world” hugged Harry Zayn happily.</p><p>“Or the worst” mumbled Louis to himself.</p><p>“What?” let Zayn go of Harry.</p><p>“Nothing. I'm going to look for Niall before he attacks me like a vampire out of the shadows” joked Louis and went looking for Niall and Liam.</p><p>“Could it be that he is limping a bit?” noted Zayn in horror.</p><p>“Yes, unfortunately, but it got better” Harry had to agree with him.</p><p>“Harry, now that Louis isn't there, can you tell me what really happened? I don't want to ask Louis so he doesn't have to talk about it again” became Zayn serious again.</p><p>“He said he was drunk because we were arguing before, which I regret terribly. And then a guy whose name he doesn't know came in. They danced and after a while, they went out the back door. When I got there, the picture was disturbing. This guy had pushed him against the wall with his face, pants down to the ankles of both and he was close to ... Shit! ... When I wanted to stop him he said Louis had sucked him off and he had his hand on his ... dick. Um … Louis had tears on his face but he didn't care about that. Before I could stop him, he um ... err pushed in once. I don't think I will ever be able to forget Louis' scream. Of course, I was right there and got this guy pulled away and beautified his face. Louis was no longer responsive, so I took him home where he told me everything. Also how the moon sobered him before it was too late ... I'll never forget that picture of that guy's dick in Louis. I was so mad at the bastard but Louis was more important at that moment. He had to leave. I can't shake the feeling away that it's my fault. If we hadn't quarrelled ..” broke Harry's voice off. He had tears in his eyes but held them back.</p><p>In Zayn's eyes tears of anger, sadness and compassion had formed which he tried to suppress. “It's not your fault. Everyone argues. You were there to help him, you stayed. That's what matters, Harry”</p><p>“I wish I could do more, take all this pain away. Make his life better, happier” sighed Harry sadly.</p><p>“But you're doing that, Harry” put Zayn a hand on his shoulder. Harry looked at him in confusion. “You're here. You show understanding and compassion. Just don't pity him too much when he's in. He doesn't like that at all. Just be there. You make him happy”.</p><p>“Really?” asked Harry hopefully.</p><p>“Really. He practically glows when you're with him, didn't you notice that? The same thing I noticed about you, by the way” revealed Zayn to him.</p><p>“Not really. I don't realize so many things, but I think a lot has become clearer in the last twenty-four hours. It took me so long to see it” told Harry him.</p><p>“Louis always wanted to tell you, but he couldn't. I hope you don't blame him. I guess you know everything now” suggested Zayn. Inwardly, Zayn also suspected that Harry hadn't only meant that but there was much more behind his words.</p><p>“I understand why he couldn't tell me. I only wish I understood when the bastard Kyle was here. I was so stupid and was just standing by. Now I want nothing more than to make him feel better step by step. I want to make him realize how important he is to us and how special he is. That's why I wanted him to accompany me to my mother so he could get away and be distracted, but he's not sure”.</p><p>Zayn was sure now. Louis was incredibly important to Harry. So important that he would do anything to make him feel better. Zayn knew that feeling too well.</p><p>“You’re going to visit your mother?” changed Zayn the subject.</p><p>“Yes, I found her address thanks to Louis and now I want to know what happened” informed Harry him.</p><p>“I think that's a good idea. Also that Louis shall come with you, but only he can decide that” said Zayn thoughtfully.</p><p>“Why am I not allowed?” heard Zayn Niall grousing.</p><p>“Because you are too small” laughed Liam as they approached Harry and Zayn.</p><p>“Ha, that's how it feels like” cheered Louis triumphantly. When Zayn looked at them he immediately started to laugh. Niall ran poutingly next to Liam, who carried Louis piggyback style.</p><p>“Is our Toplinson King too lazy to walk again?” laughed Zayn amused.</p><p>“Our Majesty only gets the best service” grinned Liam in amusement.</p><p>“That's what it looks like. The Top has its advantages, right Daddy Direction?” boasted Louis and especially emphasized the daddy.</p><p>“I see” smirked Zayn.</p><p>“Why do I have to run then?” asked Niall horrified.</p><p>“Shh, that's a conversation of Tops, you unworthy!” cackled Louis merrily.</p><p>“Maya dares to contradict” chuckled Zayn nastily.</p><p>“God, you are terrible!” exclaimed Niall, waving his arms in the air, only making the laughter worse.</p><p>“Harry, my friend. Let's start the club of oppressed Tops and topple the two. Lilo wouldn't be Top Louis, what are you saying now?!” threw Niall an arm around Harry as Liam dropped Louis off and hugged him from behind.</p><p>“Can't you hug anyone anymore?” protested Liam laughingly.</p><p>“Sorry Niall, but I don't belong into that club. You have to start it alone” declined Harry casually.</p><p>“I'm sorry to disappoint you, but the two think they are the Top Kings. Nobody recognizes your topping here” tried Niall to stay serious.</p><p>“That sounds like something to eat” chuckled Zayn delightedly.</p><p>“Fits then” winked Louis at him.</p><p>“I didn't mean that” muttered Harry barely audible. Louis and Zayn struck Liam with laughter as Niall turned confused to Harry.</p><p>“Wait, do you want to say ...?” he started but then Phil came over to them with the mics in hand.</p><p>“Okay, time for the soundcheck”.</p><p> </p><p>...</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“Welcome to our last show for a while. Our beloved Zayn isn't here for the holidays and Harry here will be away for a while as well. So BAC will take over our role here. After the holidays, we will play in solidarity in turns. For today we have four new songs for you. We're kicking it off with a classic. Let's rock this” announced Liam cheerfully.</p><p>They started to play the song and directly the good mood in the room was felt. To sing <em>Rock Me</em> was always a good idea. Zayn and Louis kept grinning at each other for no reason at all. They were just two bubbleheads. Both could see their families sitting in the audience. Jasmine sat with the girls next to Zayn's family and looked immensely proud.</p><p><em>Finding Myself</em> came next, and Louis actually felt free and alive on stage at that moment. It would probably be logical if he now crawled into a dark hole and abased life. But that's exactly what he didn't do. Louis didn't know where it came from, but he didn't feel the urge to shut himself off. So far, he always had that feeling, especially after Kyle turned up and made things worse.</p><p>After yesterday, Louis should really be broken and that's what he was. He couldn't deny that. He still felt shitty and dirty, but not worthless. He didn't know how Harry did it, but he had inadvertently managed to make Louis feel less worthless. Maybe it was his words or his presence. Louis didn't know it, but he didn't want to question it either. He was on the bottom so there was only the way up.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Holy water is supposed to wash me clean</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Oh, you don’t know where I have already been</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Your prayers are supposed to drive my demons out</em>
</p><p>
  <em>You’re really trying to change me from the inside out</em>
</p><p>
  <em>But you cannot break me</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I am on the edge of being free</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>To slow down a bit, they sang <em>Confused Heart</em>. Harry had insisted that Louis opened the song. Since it was his song no one contradicted him. Still, Louis wanted to know who or what Harry had written about. He knew from personal experience that you don't just write something like that without a reason. Louis was pretty sure that Harry was developing feelings for someone who wasn't him, first of all, but a girl and, second, a good friend of theirs. At least that's what the text said. As long as it wasn't Violetta, Louis could somehow live with it.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Time moves in slow motion</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Afraid of my own emotions</em>
</p><p>
  <em>My heart feels finally warm</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And I wanna stay forever in your arms</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Beside him, Zayn couldn't suppress the urge to sing his part for Liam. The text just fit so well, even though Zayn knew that part Harry had written and Liam had just changed two words. When they heard the song for the first time, Zayn had hoped that Liam would talk about him and that was exactly what happened. He knew that now.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Deeper than the deepest ocean</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I’m drowning in your endless devotion</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Brighter than the brightest star</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Simply cause of the way you are</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Surprisingly, Liam didn't let Zayn out of his sight during his part. It seemed like they had forgotten everything around them and there were only the two of them left. Louis watched his friends and couldn't stop grinning. He felt so much joy that the two were finally together. It will certainly not be easy for both of them to spend the holidays separately now and Liam and feelings were still such a difficult thing, but Louis was sure they would manage and be happy in the end.</p><p>Unexpectedly, Louis felt Harry watching him as he sang. Slowly, he turned in his direction and looked directly into two forest green eyes, which looked at him with an emotion that Louis couldn't interpret. He sang the same text as Liam just with two different words, but the meaning behind it felt even more powerful in Louis' eyes since Harry had written it.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Deeper than the bluest ocean</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I’m drowning in your endless devotion</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Brighter than the prettiest star</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Simply cause of the way you are</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Next was <em>Only One For You</em>. When Liam started to sing, Louis had to try hard to suppress his grin. He and Niall exchanged an amused look and Louis could remember Niall's words when they heard the song for the first time clearly.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Let me guess, Liam was completely confused about who Zayn might mean?”.</em></p><p>“<em>Absolutely haphazard”.</em></p><p>“<em>Typical again, but he is probably not the only one”</em></p><p>“<em>What?”.</em></p><p>“<em>Nothing”.</em></p><p> </p><p>Maybe it wasn't good to think about this conversation while singing but Louis still didn't know what Niall wanted to imply. Whereby he could already imagine what he might have meant. Harry certainly had no idea that he had thought of him while writing the song. No matter how happy Louis would be to be Harry's last and only one, he knew that would never happen.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>I admit that when you smile</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I always get lost in thoughts for a while</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Just hoping you’re thinking of me, Baby</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>I admit that when you laugh</em>
</p><p>
  <em>All I really wanna do is take a photograph</em>
</p><p>
  <em>So I can have you with me all day and night </em>
</p><p>
  <em>as my leading light</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>I know I will never be your first</em>
</p><p>
  <em>But I really wanna be your last</em>
</p><p>
  <em>This whole situation is freaking accursed</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Despite fighting against it I fell for you fast</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span class="u">Chorus:</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Another’s hands have touched your skin</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And you have let them all the way in</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I’m the one in the back, watching it all happening</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Your safe and secure place but slowly I’m breaking </em>
</p><p>
  <em>And I have to admit that it’s true</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I always knew that I wanna be the only one for you</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>I admit I really wanna tell you the truth </em>
</p><p>
  <em>(while we’re still young)</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Thousands of words prickling on the tip of my tongue</em>
</p><p>
  <em>That I wanna say</em>
</p><p>
  <em>But I’m too afraid you might walk away</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>I still know I will never be your first</em>
</p><p>
  <em>But that doesn’t change the fact that I wanna be your last</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I desperately wish the situation could be reversed</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Because falling for someone you can’t have </em>
</p><p>
  <em>is really the worst</em>
</p><p> </p><p>They ended the gig with <em>Make A Change</em>. They had all written that song and it felt good to take something important out to the people. Louis sucked in every second of the song. Looked from Zayn and Liam over to Niall and then to Harry. Then his eyes fell on his smiling mother and Zayn's mother and then back to Harry. Their support made him so happy and he wished every one of them had it.</p><p>In the end, they bowed, said goodbye and ran backstage. There they all fell into each other's arms. Overjoyed. Enjoying their last seconds together for two whole weeks. Moments like this Louis loved and this was when he knew it. His decision was done. He moved closer to Harry and leaned against his ear.</p><p>“I'm coming with you, Haz”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>---&gt;</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Shortly before the check-in, Zayn stopped and turned around. To Harry, Niall and Louis he had long and far too emotionally said goodbye after the gig, but Liam had come to the airport with him. It really wasn't fair that he was flying away now.</p><p>“Good, Liam. See you in two weeks” said Zayn's mother goodbye to him. Liam somehow belonged to the family already. “We give you five minutes, but then we really have to go, Zayn,” said his mother sighingly, leaving the two alone.</p><p>“Two weeks are not the end of the world” started Liam bravely.</p><p>“I know, you've been away for longer, but it was hard to bear and everything was different. Why just now that we ..” fell Zayn silent. What exactly they were, they hadn't clarified yet.</p><p>“Are together? Say it, Zayn. I'm the feeling dyslexic, not you. I know that's all weird, but we'll get used to it. We just can't forget who we are” lifted Liam up his chin.</p><p>“You're right. We've known each other for ages. Now being overcautious would be weird. We're going to go on like before with a few tiny changes” agreed Zayn relieved.</p><p>“What changes?” frowned Liam.</p><p>“If you don't have a plan, you're really cute, Li” chuckled Zayn, taking a step closer.</p><p>“What are you talking about?” swallowed Liam hard and looked straight into Zayn's eyes.</p><p>“What can I do now that I couldn't before?” came Zayn even closer.</p><p>Before Liam could answer, Zayn pressed his lips to Liam's. That they were at an airport surrounded by strangers Zayn didn't care about at all. He wanted to decently say goodbye to his boyfriend. Wow, it felt weird to really say that.</p><p>After the first shock, Liam returned the kiss. They kept it soft and slow. Often they hadn't kissed yet. Just like back on the island, the kiss was now without tongue involved. Sweet and innocent. Affectionate, but much longer. Zayn loved the feeling of Liam's lips on his own. For so long he had imagined how it would feel and now that he knew it, there was no word to describe the feeling.</p><p>When he found it hard to breathe, Zayn broke away from Liam and looked into his shiny eyes. Apparently, he was not the only one who liked that.</p><p>“I could get used to that” smirked Liam, repeating his words from yesterday kind of.</p><p>“You should” replied Zayn, hugging him tightly.</p><p>Liam wrapped his arms tightly around Zayn's body and held him close. It felt so good to feel him so close to him. Zayn would miss that very much even if it was only for two weeks.</p><p>“You have to go without that for two weeks now” whispered Zayn nasty.</p><p>“I don't know if I'll survive that” answered Liam honestly.</p><p>“Just call me every day and tell me how much you're dying” suggested Zayn with a grin. Still in Liam's arms.</p><p>“That's not a good substitute” pouted Liam.</p><p>“I know but you said yourself two weeks are not the end of the world” repeated Zayn Liam's words and released him.</p><p>“There you didn't kiss me like that and then just wanted to go” protested Liam cutely.</p><p>“How did I kiss you?” hooked Zayn after a breath.</p><p>“Kinda like that” leaned Liam towards him. This was the first time Liam started a kiss. The kiss was shorter but more intense than the one before. Zayn felt something stir inside him and demanded more.</p><p>“That was a bit different” breathed Zayn out breathlessly.</p><p>“Bit” replied Liam pantingly.</p><p>“Zayn, are you coming?” his mother called behind him.</p><p>“I'm coming!” called Zayn back.</p><p>“I have to go then. See you in two weeks” said Zayn goodbye to Liam. With his mother and sister, Zayn made, with a heavy heart, his way to the plane. He was going to miss Liam so much.</p><p>“Have fun, good flight” called Liam after them.</p><p>“Won't have that because I'll miss you too much, Li” called Zayn back and waved over to him until he couldn't see him anymore.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>And we're at the end of Term 2. Woah, what a rollercoaster of emotions. But what do you think could happen in Term 3? What are your thoughts on everything that happened in Term 2?</p><p>I'm happy you're all enjoying this journey so far and hope to see you on Term 3 :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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